Flecks of Sun

There was just darkness. Pain causes shock.
I planned to hike into the forests and some mountainous regions. I planned to jump into frozen lakes after a sauna. I planned to walk alongside caribou in deep snow. I planned to run after the Northern Lights as they stretched endlessly against arctic skies.

As I slowly came back to earth, Red, from Orange is the New Black television series was staring down at me, her glasses perched on her nose and asking me in a thick Russian accent, “Are you okay, dear?” “What is the year?”

“Red?” I asked as I stared at the woman.
“Red?” the woman repeated back with a question.
Everything was blurry on the outside edges of my vision and sleep was lulling me back into the darkness. Again as if on repeat all the plans went away in wisps of grey smoke and I heard an eerie laugh. An enticing laugh. Green eyes emerged from the darkness and then a nose and lips. The laugh echoed from somewhere behind me. The mouth opened and asked my name. But I couldn’t answer.
The laugh came from behind but closer, until I saw it come out of the mouth in front of me. Then there was blue, water erasing the face and the darkness.

“Emile.”
I heard my name whispered.
“Emile.”
“Emile.”

The blueness gave way to my hospital surroundings. The woman was nowhere in sight. No one was. But I heard my name and that laugh in my ears.

“Emile?” a laugh.
Finally my eyes opened wide and the blurry edges dissipated as alertness took over. I tried to recall what had happened. All I could piece together was Helsinki and a café. My chest felt heavy and my body felt tired. I saw no one in front of me. But as soon as the laugh happened again, my face turned quickly to the side where a face was at my ears and lips were whispering my name until it stopped mid name as soon as my movement was noticed.

He leaned back and his green eyes looked amused.
“Imagine my surprise at your name. You were admitted and I was left to wait. I stepped out to get some food and returned about an hour later, asking the reception desk who was recently admitted. All they told me was “Emile,” and I surely thought you were discharged and left. But no- it was you. Perhaps you pronounce it differently.” He laughed but my focus was on his eyes.

“Green -,” I started to mumble.

“Yes, you kept repeating colors, you even referred to the nurse as a color.”

“Wher-?”

“You broke your ankle. You passed out and I knew of a clinic a few blocks away. Luckily I was able to get a taxi relatively quickly. I am assuming the pain with the drugs in your system have rendered you a bit out of it,” he explained.

“Drugs in my system?” I asked.

“The medication they gave you for the pain,” Ville explained looking at me.

“What time is it?” I asked shifting my body upwards and putting weight on my elbows.
“About 8 o’clock. You should be dismissed soon and probably eat a little,” he offered as an answer.

I nodded in agreement and looked at him apologetically.

“I am so sorry to have put you through this.”

“It’s okay, we have a good healthcare system, the bill shouldn’t be too much but my fee is very expensive.”

“Your fee?” I asked laughing.

“Yes, I had to haul an unconscious woman into a taxi and the poor man probably thought I was going to harm you. I had to explain the situation before he called anyone. Not to mention I waited like the gentleman that I am,” he said suppressing a laugh.

“You’re so charming,’ I said sarcastically.

“Well you quite literally did fall for me,” he quickly counter-argued with a sly expression.

“Oh please. Does your wife or girlfriend find you as amiable as you think you are?” I asked him with a small laugh.

Red returned. The nurse definitely had the hair and the glasses to be the television series character but the similarities ended there. Ville appeared a little uneasy.

“I’ll wait outside,” he said and gathered his things. He left and the nurse stared at me.

“Emile Macon?” she asked me behind her small purple framed glasses.

“Yes.”

“Date of birth?” she asked and I sighed realizing we would be going through a roll call of questions.

“September 19, 1990,” I answered.

The questions went on; it was standard protocol. I had a fracture of the Syndesmosis joint and should not put weight on it for at least two weeks and the complete recovery time would take three months. I wanted to protest but I knew there was nothing to be done. After twenty some odd minutes, she gave me a prescription for pain medication and healing instructions.

“It would be wise if you followed up in a week, to make sure everything is okay,” she pointed out.
“I’ll have to see what my travel arrangements are and then arrange accordingly,” I answered her as she pursed her lips.

“Just be sure to take it easy, you should put it on bed rest for a week at least,” she urged gently as I mentally weighed my options. “Will your boyfriend be taking you home?” she asked.

“No, he’s not my boyfriend. Is there a taxi that I can call to transport my walk-less self back to the hotel?”

“Yes, the receptionist can have one called for you.”

She left the room and a male attendant came back with a wheelchair and helped me sit in it before leaving again. I began to wonder if there was some sort of wheelchair tourist agency that would enable me to achieve half of my original itinerary. I was thankful I could walk at least, I felt a genuine pang of guilt for those unable to and having to cope in a society that is not always accessible for wheelchairs and disabilities. As I waited, my thoughts drifted.

I often spoke about Finland as if I really knew her. I used to know her, she used to dominate my free-time. I would indulge in books, articles, and any link to Finland that permitted me to know more. But visiting her, faltered my curiosity. Helsinki was not the metropolis I thought she was and the two times I had visited had been in either bleak weather and no snow, or no vegetation to the city's parks which always looked gorgeous in the photos.  Arriving in early November was not the best choice, but it correlated with the cultural festivities. The weather was cool with light dustings of snow, but there were patches of ice all over the city. It was expected to snow more over the weekend and north towards Lapland already had an abundance of snow. That would be perfect for my activities. My goal was to really understand the country and appreciate her the way I used to.  Furthermore, I was realizing more and more people had Finland on their agenda as she became more known to the tourist industry, but was still a hidden alcove of a gem. With Stockholm across the harbour and Sweden a more designated tourist destination, Helsinki was shielded from the throngs of people flocking to experience the northern countries of Europe. Besides Sweden, it could be argued that Norway received the next amount of visitors to see the fjords and cliffs. Russia was also a dominant sightseeing place but with changing political climates like a swinging door, it always varied for the tourist season. Helsinki had become a gradual choice over the past few years, with many people wanting to explore a country they hadn't been to before. Also Helsinki was becoming renowned as a Design Capital and architectural hotspot. I enjoyed that Finland was finally getting some love, but hoped it wouldn't change her completely. But these were idle worries, I thought until I heard that nowadays it is not so unusual to see busloads of Chinese tourists descending upon a country that probably has the equivalent of hotels that other European countries have in their capitals alone. But Helsinki, as imperfect as she might be, was mine. She was beautiful and my travel times could not be her fault for my lack of awe. I was hoping to rebound this time. I had at least an itinerary to get me through a couple days, when I could walk. Practicalities set in.

Could I move around on a wheelchair?
Was my hotel even equipped for such a thing?
This was only temporary and I was thankful I had the ability to walk, injury withstanding. 

The one advantage I had on my side was my grandfather. It had come to me that he would not hesitate to fly to Finland and make arrangements for me back to Asia or France to rest up and heal. I was feeling confused and discombobulated about what to do. I knew I could get a taxi back to the hotel. But then what? Should I just rest in bed while I order food service because I can't move. I had - had sprained ankles before. It hurt but I should be able to walk on it.  With nurse gone to get discharge papers, I attempted to stand a bit. It hurt, worse than anything and my foot was begging me to sit back down. I rolled my eyes and leaned my head back, trying to come up with a plan. But my thoughts only drifted to Finland. 

There would be no strolls along the harbour or catching sight of the gulls making off with the fish from the market stalls. I could almost smell the smoke of the stalls that cooked fish, meats, and potatoes among other Helsinki food fare. My stomach growled. I had only the cafe drink and nothing substantial for a meal since. If only I hadn't stepped on the curb. Steps! My eyes snapped open and I muttered an "Oh no," as I realized with horror that more than anything, I loved climbing the steps of the Cathedral and taking in the sunrises, sunsets, and the harbour activity from those steps. I had a good eye.  Tsar Alexander II stood at the forefront of the Cathedral which served as reminder of Finland's history with Russia. A history that was being celebrated for liberation this week, although the actual independence day was in December. 

Perhaps the sauna would aid in my recovery. I could sweat out all of the toxins from my foot and be ready to go. If I adhered to strict bedrest, I should be able to walk in a few days, thus not having to cancel everything. Besides saunas were all over, if they rejuvenated my ankle even for a few hours, why i could go to a sauna everyday. There were probably more saunas than Finns just as Russia was dotted with dachas everywhere (Russian vacation homes). Well that mathematical equation was debatable. What was not, was there were likely just as many or if not more Nokia phones in Finland to match it's population.  Nokia was Finnish, not Japanese as commonly believed and Nokia pioneered the modern mobile telephone although sadly the company was unable to compete with the likes of Samsung and Apple. My brain was awash in Finnish history and facts, when I alighted upon a good idea. If I was unfortunately forced to reschedule my entire trip, I could at least see Helsinki more in depth via trams and crutches. Trams crossed the city everywhere and ran an opportune schedules. I could easily route a day with the trams and hobble around. Finns were very hospitable so I was sure I would probably be offered assistance but if they are hospitable it should be noted, they are a reserved people. It was often mistaken as aloofness or not friendly. It was just that Finns tended to keep their merriment well-behaved and in check at least in public. If you were excessively loud, they might stare.  

As I continued my mental travel book on Finland in my head, the nurse popped back in with the discharge papers.  She grabbed the handlebars of the wheelchair and brought me back to reception. 

“I see you have upgraded your hospital wheels from a bed to a wheelchair,” Ville remarked upon seeing me again.

“Next it will be some roller blades,” I suggested flashing him a grin feeling more at ease around him.

The nurse brought me to the reception desk and I took care of the bill, luckily traveler’s insurance paid off. I also had a side of emergency funds just in case. Lis always teased I was too prepared but I bet she would bite her tongue now and agree that in this case, being prepared helped. Next she wheeled me around and looked at Ville.

“Shall I call you a taxi?” she asked to him, although she was speaking about me.
Ville looked at me and then to her. Whatever drugs they had put me on were beginning to kick in more. I felt drowsy and almost hyper. It might explain why I felt so at ease.

“I need a taxi to my hotel,” I clarified as the nurse finally looked down at me.
“Okay, I can arrange that,” she answered and left once again.
I looked at Ville, now that we were almost alone.

“So, about your show?” I asked him thinking how I would ever attend that.
“I suppose that is out of the question now,” he said thinking.
“Yes, although I am disappointed to miss it. It is probably for the better anyways as I need to figure out my new plan of attack,” I said musing.
We both stood there deep in thought when the nurse returned.
“It is arranged,” she announced and escorted me outside as Ville followed. She stood with us and Ville and I both eyed each other, unsure of what to say.

Would I just bid him good-bye and that would be the end of it?
“I can take it from here,” Ville gestured as he grabbed the wheelchair and gave the nurse a dismissal smile. She looked after us and went back inside.
“I have no doubt she’ll gossip about this to her friends,” he muttered a bit annoyed.
“I’m sorry to have put you in this position,” I offered up apologetically.
“You? No, no it’s the life of being famous. I could go buy my mother an engagement ring and they would print that I was set to walk down the aisle without fact-checking,” he laughed.
“You would buy your mother an engagement ring?” I ask bewildered.
“No! Sorry, I am a bit tired. I mean if I were to buy her a diamond ring,” he corrected himself.
The taxi pulled up then and the driver got out to help me maneuver into the backseat. Ville asked me to hold on a second and dashed back inside before exiting the clinic again with crutches in hand.

“Oh, I hadn’t even thought about those,” I said with embarrassment.
After I was situated, Ville grabbed the door before the taxi driver closed it and said something to him in Finnish. He then closed the door and walked away. I wish I had a mirror for the expression on my face until seconds later, he was sliding in next to me and giving me a huge grin.

“Did you think I was just leaving?” he asked.
My speechless face gave him all the answer he needed.
“I want to make sure we discuss tomorrow, because I have an idea in place of you coming to the show,” he said staring at my face. He made it difficult to think when he stared at you so.

“Okay, shall we now quick so you can get a taxi?” I asked.
“No, no I am going to make sure you get to the hotel safely and perhaps we can discuss it over a light meal?” he asked.
“What if there’s another situation like with the nurse? I don’t want there to be baseless rumors,” I insisted in opposition.
“I’m not worried about what the tabloids think. Besides I am allowed to have friends of both sexes,” he answered as the taxi jolted onto the main road, it caused Ville to slide in my direction.
“Okay, we can then, if you do not mind because perhaps now you can offer me some suggestions for how to spend some time in Helsinki without walking,” I laughed and he reciprocated.
“The only person that might mind is my-“
“Oh! So sorry! We started to discuss this earlier. Your girlfriend! Yes, please tell her to come if that is not strange,” I offered.
“My- mother,” Ville said before continuing, “I had dinner plans with her, but no matter she won’t be upset.”
My face for the who knows what count that day turned red.
“I am very much a single man,” Ville said.
“Oh, of course,” I said without thinking.
“Of course? Do you think I am that terrible to date?” he pretended to scoff.
I had to laugh.
“No of course not,” I answered which left Ville trying not to laugh.
The taxi jolted again and Ville’s hand went out to catch his balance and landed on my knee. They say heat therapy can heal joints and muscles. If my ankle only felt as warm as my knee at that moment, I’d have no use for crutches. Ville moved his hand and then put his hand down which was where my hand was. I looked at him in response.
“Sorry, it’s this cab,” Ville said and he even looked a little red.
“I know you’re a single man Ville, but you’re quite handsy today,” I said to make the situation lighter. His face reddened completely and he gave me a devious look which caused us both to burst out laughing, the awkward tension gone.
“So let’s try this again. What is your name?” Ville asked.
“Wait there’s nothing for me to fall on,” I said looking around the cab’s backseat ready to jokingly fall on the seat as I leaned forward when we hit another bump and I lost my balance.
My face went forward and down right into Ville’s lap. I quickly righted myself but my face was redder than the Nile.
“And you called me handsy?” Ville smirked with his signature grin but I was still too embarrassed to laugh this time.
“So your name?” he pressed with a smile so big I wanted to wipe it off his face.
“Emile, my name is Emile,” I said and his continued smart-alec stare made me feisty.
“You think you’re so uppity,” I said trying to come off as sarcastic.
“Well Emile you did say there is nothing so terrible about me to cause me not to be eligible to the ladies,” he reminded me.
“Those weren’t my exact words,” I scoffed and I was trying not to smile so he wouldn’t win.
“Don’t be so petty Emile,” Ville sauntered and we continued our ridiculous back and forth until the taxi arrived at my hotel.