The Truth Is...

It was like the oxygen had been sucked right out of the room when the goal horn went off.

Claudia seemed frozen to her spot, standing in the two hundred level of the Bridgestone arena as gloves and helmets flew everywhere and the wrong team celebrated on the ice. That was not how that game was supposed to go.

Her eyes scanned the ice for that familiar ginger beard and when she located the man with ‘18’ on his back she held her breath, her hands clasped together in front of her. She couldn’t bear to look at him anymore, so she focused on the gold towel, still on the back of the seat in front of her as the home team saluted their fans and then watched the Stanley Cup be presented to their opponents.

To her it was a shame that the best game of the series thus far had to end like it did, but as she looked back onto the ice to watch the Preds head down the tunnel and into their locker room she knew that the worst was still to come. Eventually, she would have to come face to face with James, and she didn’t know what to say to him.

Lucca, standing next to her, reached out and grabbed her hand, and as the Penguins began to pass the cup around and celebrate they both sat down in their seats again. Lucca asked her, “You want a ride home?”

Claudia knew that it would be a long time before James left the arena, so she told Lucca, “Please.”

Her phone was flooded with messages from family and friends, even James’ family, all were simply to tell him congratulations on the amazing season whenever he was ready to hear it. His mother asked her to take care of him and that made her smile gently. What it would be like to have a mother that loved you that much.

When the arena began to empty Lucca and Claudia got up and made their way out as well, headed out to Lucca’s car which was parked down the street from the arena in a pay per hour lot. She unlocked the little Honda and Claudia got into the passenger seat as Lucca got into the driver’s side. She turned the air down a little, it was cooler now than when she had driven to the arena hours earlier.

“Um, can you drop me off at James’? If it’s not too far out of the way.” Claudia asked her, she wasn’t sure that going there was the best idea, but she knew that while there wasn’t much she could do for him she could at least give him the option of company for the night.

“No problem.” Lucca told her, and then they fell into silence. Eventually, that silence was broken when Lucca sighed and said, “Fuck I really thought they had that game.”

“Me too.” Claudia told her, nodding her head in agreement. She then said softly, “I don’t even know what to say to him.”

Lucca nodded her head and she said, “Me either… I think, maybe you say nothing. You just make sure he knows you’re there, you know? I know this isn’t what they wanted but fuck am I proud of them for this season.”

“I think they’re proud of themselves… it’s probably just gonna take some time to get there, you know?” Claudia asked her, and Lucca nodded again. Then Claudia said, “I’m not so ready for him to take off for the summer.”

“Why don’t you go with him?” Lucca asked her, and when Claudia turned to her in surprise she rolled her eyes and said, “Don’t act like that’s such a wild idea.”

“It is, we’re friends.” Claudia told her, giving her a pointed look.

“Friends with benefits, maybe.” Lucca muttered.

Claudia told her firmly, “Just friends.”

Lucca gave her an equally as pointed look back and stated, “Friends don’t look at friends the way you two look at each other.”

“We don’t look at each other in any way.” Claudia stated, watching as Lucca smiled and nodded her head. She exclaimed, “We don’t!”

“Whatever you say.” Lucca mused as she pulled into the driveway of James’ home.

Claudia stayed seated for a moment while she rooted through her bag for her keys, and once her fingers closed around the jumbled mess of a keychain she pulled it out and then she said, “Thanks for the ride Lucca.”

“No problem, wave when you’re inside, okay?” She asked and Claudia nodded as she got out of the car and headed up to the front door.

She unlocked the door, stepped just inside to turn the alarm off and then she turned and waved. Once Lucca started backing out of the driveway Claudia closed the front door behind her, locking it up and then she bent down to pet Nixon and Snoop who were sitting patiently waiting to greet her. Snoop licked her face a couple of times before Claudia stood up and she turned the alarm back on and kicked out of her shoes. The dogs followed her through the living room, down the hall and behind the stairs to James’ bedroom.

They laid in their beds at the end of his bed while Claudia walked into his closet and looked around. She grabbed a soft, band t-shirt that was hanging up with some of his other shirts and slipped it on, folding her jersey up and tucking it into the bottom of her bag. She smiled at the fact that on one of the shelves in his closet was a handful of folded clothing that belonged to her, she briefly wondered how he explained that to his lady friends, but then she figured they probably didn’t get the home tour during their one night stay.

She grabbed a pair of spandex shorts and traded her jeans for them, leaving her socks on she headed into the living room. She wondered how long he might be, she thought an hour at the very least but maybe even more. Would they be going out to blow off steam? To one of the guy’s house to do it in private? Would he stay in his stall in the arena until someone asked him to go home so that they could leave as well?

Claudia wondered what kind of shape he would be when he got home. Last year, when they had been eliminated in the second round James had taken it hard but he bounced back relatively quickly, she wasn’t so sure he would this time around. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to come that close, and to lose it the way that they had.

She knew that there was nothing to hang their heads about, as she figured most people on the outside looking in knew, but she wondered how long it would take them to get there themselves.



James dropped into his stall in the locker room the minute he got to it, slumping over with his elbows on his knees in full gear. He stared at his skates against the floor beneath him and he tried his damnedest to think of something to say, anything to think of to avoid thinking about what had just happened but nothing seemed to come to him.

He knew he should be exhausted, he knew his entire body should hurt like hell after the months upon months of beatings he had been forcing upon it and yet he felt nothing. It was like he was having an out of body experience. He was almost in a state of catatonia.

He was the first one to slowly start peeling his gear off, solely because he needed something, anything to do because sitting still was going to make him go insane. He started with his jersey, and then his shoulder pads, and by the time he started removing his elbow pads his action had spilled out around the room because guys seemed to slowly start following suit.

Despite being the first to start James was nowhere near the first to head to the showers, in fact he thought he might have been the last. He sluggishly made his way in there, he dragged shampoo through his hair at a near snail speed, it took him almost five entire minutes to wash the sticky sweat off of his body and then he, much like a few other guys, turned the shower off and leaned one arm against the shower wall, forehead rested on his forearm and he stood where he was for as long as he could possibly stand there.

Finally he straightened up, ran a hand through his now only damp hair, pushing it out of his face as he wrapped a towel around his waist and made his way back into the locker room. He sat in his stall for a minute or two more, head in his hands, trying to tune out the sounds of his teammates around him; the sniffling, the coughing, the clearing of throats but mostly the sighing and wincing as they nursed wounds and injuries.

They were told that they had to get dressed because the media would be coming in shortly and despite the fact that not a single guy in the room wanted to speak to them they all seemed to start getting dressed again. Everyone except James, who sat in his stall for another two or three minutes after that before he heaved himself up and pulled on a pair of boxer briefs and then tossed his towel into the bin in the centre of the room.

He turned to face his stall and he rolled his neck, pressing into each shoulder gently with his good hand, while he held the other closed and tucked against him as he had been doing since he broke it the series before. He managed to slip into a pair of shorts and a Preds sweater, he wasn’t going to attempt to get back into his suit because Claudia had to button his pants and his dress shirt before the game for him.

On the road he didn’t even bother buttoning his dress pants, he simply did the zipper up and then clasped his belt a little bit tighter and hoped for the best. He had learned to button up his dress shirt with one hand but it took almost three times as long, and eventually Colin, his road roommate, got sick of watching him struggle and would do his dress shirt up for him. That was the last thing he needed the media seeing now.

He wasn’t sure if he was even going to get interviewed, he selfishly hoped not because he didn’t really know what to say right now.

Was he proud of his team and how far they had gotten, and the things that they had accomplished this post season? Absolutely.

Did it hurt losing to his old team like they did? Of course it did.

Would he ever be able to put this in the past? Eventually but the truth was a minute and thirty-five seconds was all that had separated them from overtime, they had lost the biggest game of their career in a matter of a minute and a half and right now that didn’t feel like something he could shake.

In the end he had been able to sneak off to see the doc before the media entered the locker room and while he felt a little guilty for it he had never been so glad to have a broken hand before in his life.

He got one last shot to help him through the night and then he was sent on his way with a promise to come back either tomorrow or the day after depending on his pain to discuss how they were going to start getting it to heal.

Most of the guys had left by the time he was back, but the ones who were still there waved gently as he gathered his things from his stall and then he headed out. All he wanted was to go home, and so instead of sinking into the front seat of his SUV like he so desperately wanted to he kept his back from touching the seat back and he turned the key in the ignition, he was sure if he relaxed he wouldn’t be able to move again.

He turned the music off immediately and then pulled out of his parking space and headed in the direction of home. When he pulled into the driveway he didn’t bother pulling into the garage, he put the car in park, pulled the key from the ignition and got out immediately.

The exhaustion and aches and pains were starting to set in finally, and all he could think of was getting into bed and trying to forget today had even happened.

He climbed the some ten steps up to the front door slowly, his feet heaving and pounding against the wood, and he slipped his key into the lock, turning it before he pushed the door open. Snoop and Nixon came running and he barely had enough energy to reach down with one hand and pet both of them.

The lights down the hall were on, something he was sure he hadn’t left on and as he headed down the hall he heard the water running so he made his way into the master bedroom. Claudia walked out of the bathroom right when he walked into the bedroom, and she wore a look of shock on her face for a minute, before she smiled gently.

“What are you doing here?” He croaked out, just as surprised to see her as she had been to see him moments earlier.

She leaned against the door frame to the bathroom and she told him, “I didn’t like the idea of you alone tonight so I asked Lucca to drop me off here instead.”

“Thank you.” He said softly and she nodded with a small smile.

“I figured you must be exhausted, and I thought maybe a nice warm bath would help your muscles out a little.” Claudia told him, she knew how beat up he was, she had been doing everything she could think of to try to help him out all playoffs long. She had gotten quite good at back and shoulder massages over the last few weeks.

He didn’t know what to say so he didn’t say anything, instead he emptied the pockets of the athletic shorts he had worn home onto the bed, tossing his crumpled up suit there too before he headed towards her. When he approached her Claudia stepped behind him, giving him a gentle push and guide into the bathroom, she surprised him when she pulled the bottom of his sweater up and helped him get it carefully over his hand.

When he was down to simply his boxer briefs she asked him, “Do you want some ice for your hand?”

He nodded his head and she disappeared from the bedroom to go get some. He dropped his briefs and then carefully stepped into the tub, sitting down slowly as he reached out to play with the settings on the whirlpool tub. He let out a small sigh as he relaxed against the angled acrylic tub back, the hot water welcomed him with ease and the jets seemed to be in all the right spots for his back and thighs and even the bottoms of his feet.

He leaned his head back onto the little built in rest and shoved a hand through his hair as Claudia came back into the bathroom with a tea towel and a bag of ice. She knelt down on the floor next to the tub and carefully positioned the bag of ice as she gently tied the towel around his hand.

The shot would help with the pain but it did nothing for the swelling, there were times over the last few games where he thought he was going to have to go up a glove size it was so bad. He supposed the one plus to the season being over was that he could finally get on the road to recovery and not have the throbbing in his hand keep him up at night.

When it was finished Claudia got up and she sat down on the edge of the tub, reaching out to brush his hair from his face as she asked him, “Do you need anything else?”

“Do you have your phone on you?” He asked her, and she raised an eyebrow in surprise to his question.

She thought maybe he wanted to call someone, or text someone, so she said, “No, but I can grab it if you want.”

He shook his head and said, “I just wanted to do this.”

“Do what?” She asked, yelping when he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into the tub with him. They splashed water out onto the floor but James simply used his foot to turn the water back on to fill up with he had displaced and he grabbed one of the towels next to his head and tossed it on the floor, hoping it would soak up some of the water.

He told Claudia, “I just want the company.”

“I could have sat on the floor, you know.” She told him, narrowing her eyes but she smiled at the sound of a real laugh bubbling out of his mouth. She shrugged her shoulders and said, “At least you have a big tub.”

The two person tub had been a selling point to him when he had bought the house, not because he had anyone to share it with at the time or really since but because he thought after hard games it might be nice to have that whole thing to himself.

He laughed when Claudia pulled his shirt off of her, wrung it out and then hung it off of the edge of the tub, she didn’t bother removing her bra or her spandex shorts, which, if he were being honest, James didn’t mind so much. The view was still nice to him.

“What do you want to hear right now?” Claudia asked him and when he turned his head to face her he quirked his eyebrow just slightly but he closed his eyes as he relaxed against the tub again.

“Hmm?” He asked her.

She got comfortable in the tub next to him and she rested her head against his shoulder as she told him, “Do you want to hear how proud I am of you, or how you’ll get it next year, or do you want to talk about the game in length… or nothing at all?”

His voice was low and gravely but there was a softness to it that made her smile as he told her, “Tell me you’re proud of me, that sounds like a nice thought.”