The Truth Is...

Claudia stared at him for a moment, watching his face as he rolled through each emotion of realization, displaying them like a motion picture with his expressions. His eyes widened just slightly, that was thanks to the realization that he had spoken before thinking, and then his eyebrows raised a little and that was because he realized what he had said. After that his eyes cast down to the floor as he went through the stage of embarrassment and then he cleared his throat and ran his hand messily through his hair.

The first to break the seemingly impenetrable silence between them was Claudia, she asked him for clarification, “What?”

His eyes didn’t lift from the floor as he said, “Nothing. Never mind.”

“Like hell.” Claudia told him, and then it dawned on her that he had shown up at his house with something to tell her the day that she had left after her father’s stroke. She wasn’t sure why that hadn’t come to her sooner and she asked him, “Is this what you wanted to talk to me about? That thing that you wanted to run by me… was it this?”

Again he cleared his throat, his eyes still casted at the floor, if he stared any harder at it he thought he might burn a hole right through the hardwood. He simply cleared his throat again and he told Claudia, “No… not really… yeah.”

James looked up at her, hearing the hurt in her voice when she asked him, “Why did you say we should just forget it, then?”

He felt guilty, guilty like he had never in his life felt before. Her hazel eyes were soft and full of hurt as they met his own blue ones and the guilty seemed to swallow him whole. He was quick to tell her, “Because I knew it was a long shot, because I didn’t want to ruin things between us because I’m not stupid Claudia, I know how far out of my league you are.”

She shook her head, “You’re not.”

This time he rolled his eyes, that soft, nervous exterior he had been putting up dissipated into something she couldn’t quite put her finger on but she wasn’t used to it from him. He told her, “You are. It was a joke that I ever even thought that you and I could be anything more than friends. You’re… you and I’m me.”

“What does that even mean? ‘You’re you and I’m me’ what does that mean?” Claudia asked him, her voice teetering on the edge of annoyance with him.

James heaved a sigh and he told her, “It means… come on Claudia. You are like… every guys dream girl, you’re gentle and understanding and yet a little rough around the edges in all of the right ways, you don’t take shit from anyone, least of all me, but you give the right amount of attention when it’s needed. You’re… you, you're perfect. And then there’s me, the guy who’s never been able to figure out how to date the same person more than once or twice, who’s never had a relationship last longer than a week, two if I was lucky and is a mess both mentally and physically.”

“James…” She started, trailing off because she really, honestly, didn’t know what to say to him.

He just nodded and went on to say, “I’m a fuck up, you’re way better off with a guy who’s actually half decent because I’m never gonna be that kind of guy. I’m not stable, I’m not… I’ve never been able to be faithful to one woman, I’m never gonna be a guy who even comes close to deserving you.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh on yourself?” She asked him curiously.

“Not at all, I’m probably being a little too nice to myself actually.” James informed her and he swore he saw a look of bewilderment cross her face.

She simply told him, “You’ve never even tried a relationship, you can’t really judge yourself based on something you’ve never done before. You’re not a fuck up James, you’re just… you. It’s not like you can’t change the things that you don’t like about yourself, these are cosmetic issues really.”

“How can you be so sure?” He asked her, eyebrow raised just slightly.

“Because I know who you are; you’re the sweetest person that I know, you care about the people in your life more than you probably care about yourself, you get happy and proud of yourself when you can make someone else happy, you’re… you’re the only person in my life that makes me feel like I can do anything I want.” Claudia told him honestly, and she watched, studying his face for his reaction to her words and the one that she got made the corners of her lips turn up just the slightest.

There was a sort of wild amusement and delightful pride in his eyes that told her that her reaction was better than what he had hoped for.

She couldn’t help but add in, “You’re not a hopeless case, you just need a push to get you going in the right direction.”

He was so hopeful he was almost embarrassed when he asked her, “Will you give me a chance?”

There it was; everything came down to her one word answer, it was like their entire future, friendship or otherwise, was hanging in the balance right between them. James was trying really hard not to foresee the inevitable crash and burn he thought he knew was coming.

Instead of that crash he was told, “Take me on a date and I’ll decide after that.”

His eyes snapped over to hers, and when the corners of her lips turned up into a small smile he wore a large grin on his face and he told her, “Done. It’ll be the fanciest, best first date you’ve ever been on.”

She couldn’t help but joke, “I don’t know, I’ve been on a few pretty great first dates. I’ve been on so many I’m basically a pro and almost impossible to impress at this point.”

He let out a laugh and assured her, “Oh no, you haven’t seen anything yet.”



It was five minutes to six.

James would be arriving any time now, he had informed her that they had a reservation for six thirty and he would pick her up a little after six o’clock so that they made it there on time and Claudia wasn’t even dressed. She had her hair curled and tucked into a bun at the back of her head with a few stray blonde curls framing her face and the brand new set of straight across bangs she had been sporting since that morning. She had a neutral smoky eye and a little bit of foundation, bronzer only, and some lip balm with a bit of a pink tint to it, she had exfoliated her body, shaved and slathered it in vanilla lotion. For all intents and purposes she was all ready for a date night, if she could just figure out what to wear.

Everything she pulled out looked wrong, and she was beginning to panic. Why was she this nervous? It was dinner with James, they had dinner together all of the time, what was so different this time? Why did calling it a date make her so nervous?

When she deemed yet another dress too short and not appropriate she tossed it onto her bed along with about four other dresses and grabbed her phone to call in some help.

Lucca answered her FaceTime request on the second ring, “Yo ho hello.”

“I’m not sure if that was just supposed to be a cute saying or if you were actually calling me a hoe but I need your help.” Claudia informed her right away, and when Lucca’s eyebrow raised she explained in a sort of word vomit she hadn’t been intending to, “James asked me out so we’re going on a date tonight to see how things work between us like that and he’s gonna be here in like five minutes and I’m still in a robe because everything, and I literally mean everything, I’ve tried on looks like crap and I don’t even know why I’m trying so hard because James has literally seen me in sweat pants and a shirt covered in tissues and he’s never cared before but this is a date and dates are different and I’m so fucking nervous it’s like I’ve lost all sense of style.”

Claudia stopped to take a breath in and before she could continue Lucca interrupted, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down I only got about six words out of that whole thing. Did you say you and James are going on a date? Like a real date?”

Claudia let out a frustrated scream, “Yes, and I can’t find anything to wear.”

“Okay we can talk about the other subject tomorrow. Show me your closet.” So Claudia walked into the walk in closet and tapped the screen to turn the back camera on as she let Lucca see what she had to work with.

After about a minute Claudia sighed and went on the start of another tangent, “See what I mean? Nothing works. I should just cancel, I mean what other option is there? I have nothing to wear and I hear that clothes are a good thing to wear on dates.”

“Okay, Claud, I’m saying this from a place of love but you need to take it way the fuck down.” Lucca told her and Claudia sighed so she continued, “You’re never gonna enjoy yourself on this date if you’re this keyed up and then what’s the point? So take a breath, do it right now I’m waiting; nice big breath.”

She did as she was told.

“Now exhale slowly. Good girl.” Lucca told her as she exhaled, and then Lucca said, “Now, okay, try that red dress that’s like… flowery lace or whatever with the nude under piece.”

So Claudia grabbed the hanger holding the dress in question and asked her, “What else?”

“Pair it with white heels, and that white fancy jacket you never wear because it was expensive.” Lucca told her and so Claudia grabbed the jacket and the shoes and tossed them onto her bed before Lucca told her, “And tie it all together with that big green ring you have, a delicate necklace and a pair of studs.”

So Claudia put the phone down as she got dressed, slipping on each specific item as she was instructed and then she held the phone up to the mirror and asked Lucca, “Okay, thoughts?”

“Damn.” Was all she said before she tilted her head back and called out, “Colin, babe come tell Claudia how hot she looks.”

Claudia rolled her eyes as he came into view and whistled, “Damn, who’s the lucky guy?”

Lucca grinned and told him excitedly, “James.”

“Nealer finally grew the balls to ask you out?!”

When he exclaimed that Claudia covered her face with one hand and she said, “Now you’re making me even more nervous!”

As if the cosmos were against her that was when James happened to knock on the door. She looked at Lucca on her phone screen and Lucca chuckled before telling her, “Relax, seriously. Tonight is gonna be perfect, you two were practically meant for each other. Just relax and have fun.”

Colin grinned as he said, “And hurry up and answer your door before he thinks you changed your mind.”

He let out a noise when Lucca slapped his stomach and she told Claudia, “Really, you’re gonna have fun. I will talk to you tomorrow.”

Claudia hit the little red button on the screen, ending the call as she stuffed her phone into her small bag as she headed to the front door of her condo, butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. She stopped herself from opening the door despite the fact that her hand was on the knob, she turned to the mirror, strategically hung by the door for this exact reason and did a quick check.

She pulled her hand off of the doorknob and adjusted her dress; straightening a twisted strap, tugging it down so that it was sitting where it was supposed to be. She then quickly tugged on one of the stray curls by her face, untangling it from the other one, before she turned to the door and took in a deep breath.

James was standing on the other side of it in dark, charcoal dress pants, and a baby blue button up, as usual the top button was undone, but he had tousled his hair in just the way that he knew Claudia liked. When their eyes met they both flushed, and James told her, his voice a little pitchy from his nerves, “You look… wow.”

“I have to admit I called in some help picking the outfit.” Claudia told him with a smile as he stepped back to let her out on the porch. James waited patiently while she locked the condo and then stuffed her keys into her bag and when she turned to face him he raised his eyebrow and she explained, “Lucca via FaceTime.”

“That explains the text I got from Colin.” James stated with a laugh and this time Claudia raised her eyebrow. Once they were in the comforts of his vehicle he unlocked his phone and handed it to her so that she could see the message Colin had sent him just before Claudia had opened the door. She let out a laugh.

‘You lucky son of a bitch.’

Claudia smiled to herself as she sent him a response on James’ phone, and he was curious to see what she had written because he leaned over just the slightest to look. Claudia tilted the phone his direction as he stopped at the stop sign at the end of her street and James let out a loud laugh, telling her, “You hijacked my phone just to give yourself a compliment? You know I would have just given you like five for free, right?”

“Five compliments and I don’t have to do anything for them? Lay it on me Mr. Smooth.” She challenged him with a grin of her own.

He started with, “You are the most stunning woman I have ever laid my eyes on.”

“That’s all you got?” She asked him, brow lifted just the slightest, watching him in amused curiosity.

With a laugh James went on to say, “And that’s not even the most interesting thing about you.”

“Oh no? What is?” She asked him with a smile.

So he started listing them, “You’re wicked smart, like way too smart to have agreed to go on a date with the likes of me. You have the most unique shade of eyes I think I’ve ever seen, you have this incredible way of lighting up a room when you walk in it and I’ve never been able to figure out how and you have really nice eyebrows.”

Claudia let out a literal giggle and she asked him, “I have really nice eyebrows?”

He smiled over at her, his ultimate goal was to make her laugh and it had worked, he told her, “You do.”

“Well… suddenly I feel really good about myself.” She said, the grin present on her face made James laugh.

“That’s what I like to call the James Neal effect.” James told her with a mischievous grin and she rolled her eyes but there was a smile still on her face. He then added for good measure, “I’ve never actually used it on anyone though.”

“So I’m like your first?” Claudia asked him, smiling coyly and twisting a stray piece of her hair around her finger as she batted her eyelashes at him.

James let out a laugh and he couldn’t help but joke, “First… guinea pig… same thing.”

Claudia reached out and pinched his forearm before she told him, watching his face for a reaction, “I choose to see the positives about things.”

“I know, it’s one of my favorite things about you. In case you didn’t already know that.” James informed her, leaning his head back against the seat as he turned it to look at her. He reached out with his free hand and brushed the bottom of her bangs slightly with his fingers and then he told her, “I like these, by the way. The look suits you.”

She couldn’t help but flush scarlet.

When he pulled into an empty parking space at the restaurant he had actually made a reservation for them at James turned in his seat and found Claudia unbuckling her seat belt already. He pulled his off and the second she turned to face him he leaned over and captured her lips with a soft kiss. It surprised her, though not enough for her to not reciprocate, and when he pulled back his cheeks flushed and he told her quickly, “Sorry. I know you’re supposed to save the kiss for the end of the date but I just couldn’t resist.”

When he reached for the handle of his door Claudia put her hand on his shoulder and when James turned to look at her this time it was he who was surprised with a kiss. Hers lasted just slightly longer than his had, he was so nervous the first time that he was going to screw something up between them before they had even gotten off of the ground that he had pulled away quickly. He realized most people didn’t kiss their date before the first date.

This time he took his time with it, because Claudia really didn’t seem like she was in any sort of hurry to get inside and to their table. He placed one of his hands on the side of her neck, his thumb brushing over her jaw gently as he kissed her and Claudia simply held onto his shoulder and forearm, kissing him back. He wondered if he could ever possibly get tired of kissing her.

When they did pull apart Claudia smiled over at him as she said, “For the record, you can kiss me, within reason, whenever you want.”

“Within reason?” He asked her, eyebrow lifted in a silent question.

Nodding Claudia hopped out of the car and James met her around the front of it and that was when she informed him, “Like maybe not every five seconds all day every day but I am okay with a kiss now and again.”

“So… every ten seconds?” James asked her with a wide smile that made her let out a laugh and shake her head at him. He leaned down as they headed down the concrete sidewalk toward the restaurant and he told her, “By the way, your lipstick tastes as good as it looks.”

Again she let out a laugh.

She wasn’t sure what she had been so worried about.

James put a hand on her back as he pulled the door open and held it until they were both through it. He gave his name to their hostess and she looked through the book in front of her not once but twice and then looked over their seating chart as well before she looked up at him, cleared her throat and told him softly, “I have that down as next Thursday.”

“What?”

His cheeks flushed a near bright red as she nodded, clearly a little uncomfortable herself as she told him, “Thursday the twentieth.”

Claudia couldn’t help but smile as she asked James, “You booked the wrong day, didn’t you?”

He cleared his throat and spoke quietly, as if he was afraid to admit, “It appears so.”

Their hostess was quick to let them know, “We have open tables, if you wanted to just take that and then cancel your reservation for next week. You’ll just have to give us a few minutes to clean a booth for you.”

“Yeah, thanks.” James told her, watching as she scurried off to clean up a spot for them. While they were waiting he leaned down to whisper in Claudia’s ear, “I’m sorry.”

She smiled up at him and told him, “Don’t worry about it, it all worked out.”

They followed the host through the restaurant and sat down in a U shaped booth, Claudia on one side and James on the other, he ordered a bottle of white wine for them to share, he knew she wasn’t a fan of red and once they were left alone Claudia smiled over at him and she said, “My favorite restaurant in all of Tennessee and white wine… one might think you were trying to impress me Mr. Neal.”

He smiled and told her, “Like I said; you haven’t seen anything yet.”

“Well now I’m intrigued.” Claudia told him. After they looked over the menu they both set them one on top of the other at the end of the table and Claudia told James, “So… not to like bring this thing up again but my brother wanted me to tell you that when you guys play in Phoenix you’re invited for a home cooked meal, not cooked by him by the way.”

With a chuckle James told her, “I’ll have to text him to say thanks.”

“I might have to meet you there though.” Claudia told him, and when his eyebrow lifted she explained, “I don’t know if I like the idea of you and my brother alone together now.”

“Oh no? Why not?” He already knew, he knew it because if he got the chance to be alone with his own sister’s boyfriend, provided she had one, he might find it hard not to interrogate the guy and probably woefully embarrass his sister.

“Because they’re gonna treat you differently if they know that we’re a thing now and I just cannot stand for that.” Claudia informed him.

James waited until their waitress had left with their dinner orders, steak for each of them, to ask her with a smirk, “So we’re a thing now? I thought you said I had to impress you tonight for you to decide?”

“You impress me every day you nerd, so unless you change your mind and don’t actually want this yes, we’re a thing now.” Claudia told him, laughing when he shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know… you seem like a high maintenance kind of girl.” He joked, adding in, “You did say you had to get help to pick out your outfit tonight.”

“Well, I was gonna keep this to myself to keep from embarrassing you but you sister text me earlier to tell me that she picked out your outfit for you and to thank her later.” Claudia informed him.

She laughed when he muttered, “Well damnit.”

“She did a good job though.” Claudia told him with a smile.

The rest of their dinner they talked about anything and everything; Claudia’s latest projects, the house James bought in Vegas and how he wanted to decorate it, the new season and how he was getting excited to be a part of it. The only thing they didn’t talk about was the future for the two of them and Claudia’s big decision, in fact, it hadn’t even come to either one of their minds when it came to finding things to talk about.

James had paid for dinner, relenting and allowing Claudia to at least pay for the dessert they had shared if only to get her to stop bugging him about it, and then they were back in his car heading back to Claudia’s condo.

Claudia couldn’t help but burst into laughter when lights started flashing behind them. James immediately glanced down at the dash and groaned when he realized he had been speeding. His cheeks were almost as red as tomatoes when he pulled the car over to the side of the road and rolled down his window. Claudia was trying not to laugh as the cop approached their window, bent down and asked James, “Were you aware you were speeding, sir?”

James nodded his head, “Yeah, sorry.”

James leaned over Claudia’s legs and opened the glove box to grab his registration, pulled his license out and handed both to the cop when he was asked for them and when he took them back to his vehicle Claudia reached out and gave his hand a squeeze.

He turned to her and said, “Sorry.”

“For what? Making the night interesting?” She asked him with a raised eyebrow.

“This was supposed to be a perfect first date… last time I checked making the wrong reservation and then getting a speeding ticket are not ingredients for the perfect first date.” James told her, his cheeks still bright red. Claudia found it charming how much he cared about the little details of their night.

James was handed a hundred and some dollar ticket, Claudia didn’t want to be snoopy and lean over to see the whole number, and they were sent on their way. She watched as he stuffed the ticket and his license back into his wallet and then pulled away from the curb and back to the road, and that was when she told him, “I for one had fun tonight, so don’t worry so much about the details.”

He glanced over at her and shot her a smile, grateful for her words. By the time James pulled his vehicle into Claudia’s driveway it was pouring out, his wipers couldn’t keep up with the rain. They thought about trying to wait it out in the car but then James looked at Claudia and she had pulled her light jacket off and had her house key in one hand and her shoes in the other. He asked, “Make a break for it?”

She nodded and counted to three out loud before they both opened their doors and took off for the front door. Once they were underneath the roof at the door James ran a hand through his hair and then he stepped inside behind Claudia.

She disarmed the alarm, tossed her shoes to the floor, put her bag on the counter in the kitchen and hung her jacket over the back of a chair and she asked him, “Do you want to change?”

He looked down at himself, his dress clothes almost soaked right through, and said, “Yeah, I don’t want to track water through your house.”

So she disappeared down the hall to her bedroom, grabbing a shirt and a pair of sweat pants that he had left at her house once upon a time and brought them to her. As he stripped down in the foyer of her condo Claudia went back down the hall to her own bedroom and hung her dress over the shower wall in the bathroom before she slipped into a pair of pyjamas.

James knocked on the door frame of her bedroom and held up his wet clothes, asking, “Can I hang these somewhere to dry?”

She nodded and took them, hanging them up next her own before he followed her out and into the living room. She asked him, “Do you want something to drink?”

James glanced out of the window, it had stopped raining, so he shook his head and headed for the door, telling her, “I should actually go.”

“Or you could stay, it might start to rain again.” Claudia told him, watching as he smiled.

“No, I should go. First dates should never end past the front door.” He told her, and it was obvious that he had done some research before taking her out. Claudia knew first dates weren’t his forte, but she was impressed at the lengths he was going to try.

She couldn’t help but point out, “James, we’ve already slept together… and we’ve known each other for three years. A first date for us is really just a formality, we’re well past that in reality.”

Nodding he stated, “I know but… I want to do this right with you.”

Claudia smiled at his words and so when he pulled the front door open she asked him, “Do I at least get a kiss goodbye?”

James smiled over at her, “Absolutely.”