The Truth Is...

“I’m bored.” Claudia smiled as Lucca announced this the second she picked up the phone.

Claudia couldn’t help but tell her, “I’m floating around in the pool.”

“I am bored and I also hate you. There’s so much snow here.” Lucca announced as Claudia floated around the outdoor pool on a blow up donut, half in the water and half not. She had been in Vegas officially for a few weeks, her brothers had each come out to visit a handful of times though she was sure that was just because James insisted on fancy restaurants and footing the bill.

Soon enough they were coming out again, only somehow they had managed to convince their parents to come with them. Claudia wasn’t so sure she was really ready for that, after all, James and her mother very famously did not get along and she really didn’t need that stress on top of the stress of making her father’s trip stress free.

“Earth to Claudia.”

She laughed, “Sorry, zoned out for a second. What were you saying?”

“I was asking how Elvisville is? And… you know, also by association how James is. Just don’t tell him I asked, he already thinks I like him I can’t afford to have him knowing I slightly care about his wellbeing too.” Lucca informed her and again Claudia let out a laugh. She glanced over at the dogs, both of whom were laying in the grass enjoying the heat but still partially covered by the shade the leaf covered fence gave them.

“Vegas is… good. I’m not gonna lie, I definitely miss Nashville but I’m starting to think I just miss my Nashville peeps more than anything.” Claudia informed her and Lucca made a noise of agreement, she then went on to say, “As for James… he’s…. good.”

“That sounds so convincing.” Lucca told her, making Claudia sigh.

“He’s been weird.” Claudia stated.

“He’s always been weird.” Lucca noted, and Claudia smiled gently. That was true.

She went on to tell Lucca, “Weirder than usual, I guess. And really quiet, like he barely speaks anymore. I don’t know, I’m starting to worry that maybe me coming here kind of… cramped his single man style.”

“Claud, you know that’s not true. James wanted you in Vegas with him, hell he practically shoved you in a suitcase and flew you there himself.” Lucca pointed out.

As Claudia relaxed back against the donut floaty her blonde hair floating in the water behind her she told Lucca, “Yeah but… he’s never lived with a woman before.”

“He’s never been in a relationship long enough to live with a woman before.” Lucca noted out loud.

“Exactly. I don’t know, I guess I’m just getting insecure and it’s probably over nothing but I’m a little scared. Things were really good for a while and then all of a sudden they got… weird. He just all of a sudden started acting strange; I can barely hold his attention, he has all these excuses for why he needs to leave all of the time and I just… I don’t know Lucca something isn’t right.” Claudia spoke softly, chewing on her thumb nail as she anxiously awaited a reply.

It took a few long, agonizing seconds before Lucca asked her, “What do you think it is?”

“That’s the thing- I have no idea.” Claudia stated, before she admitted quietly, “Part of me wants to believe that it’s just him trying to figure out how to do the whole sharing a house with his girlfriend thing, or even just having a girlfriend… but then another part of me is afraid that maybe it’s more than that.”

Lucca let out a sigh, Claudia wasn’t one to get down about these things. She was the kind of person that was optimistic about everything to do with relationships, she was one of those girls who really, genuinely loved love. So hearing the way she was talking now, about a man she had known for years and had probably been in love with since was shocking.

All she could say in response was, “I wish I knew what to tell you, other than maybe you should talk to him because it’s probably way simpler than you think.”

“Yeah…” Claudia mused softly. She glanced at the watch on her wrist before she sighed and told Lucca, “I should go, I need to shower and start dinner.”

“Adios my friend.” Lucca said, making Claudia smile as she carefully climbed out of the pool. Before hanging up Lucca informed her, “Seriously, Claud. Just talk to him, I’m certain it’s really not that big of a deal.”

Claudia let out a dramatic sigh and she said, “I will and you’re probably right.”

“I’m always right.” Lucca told her before adding in quickly, “Alright, talk to you later. Talk to that boy of yours Claud, you’re in Vegas you should not be stressed… the sun and heat are bad enough for your skin, you know.”

“Shut up.” Claudia told her with a laugh before she hung up her phone.

Wringing her hair out on the paved edge of the pool Claudia wrapped herself in a towel, gathered her glass full of water and headed inside, locking the door behind her and the dogs. She made sure to leave a note on the kitchen counter for James in case he got home before she was out of the shower, unlikely but she wanted to make sure he knew where she was just in case. She checked that the front door was locked before she padded up the cool tiled stairs, she had never been so happy for tile flooring in her life until now. She tossed her towel into the hamper by the shower, hanging her one piece swimsuit over the edge of the tub before she stepped into the glass encased shower and turned the water on as hot as she could handle.

Washing her hair twice, once to get the chlorine out and another to cleanse it, Claudia twisted it to wring out the water before piling her blonde locks at the top of her head before she settled in on her body wash routine. Body wash, body scrub, in shower lotion.

She wrapped a clean, fluffy towel around herself and another in her hair before she rinsed the lotion off of the shower floor. Once she was done that she spread a thick moisturizer with aloe in it across her face and then stepped into the closet to get dressed. With nothing exciting to do for the rest of the day Claudia settled on an oversized long sleeve and a pair of sleep shorts before she ran a brush through her hair and headed back downstairs.

She had just opened the fridge and started to pull dinner ingredients out when the front door unlocked and opened. James tossed his keys into the bowl on the table next to the door and dropped his practice bag at his feet as he slipped out of his shoes and approached the kitchen.

Claudia couldn’t decide if he looked surprised or disappointed that she was home. Either way, she had to say that she didn’t particularly enjoy that look.

“Hey.” He spoke awkwardly.

“Hi.” Was her response.

This was how things had been between them for so long Claudia couldn’t even remember how long their bliss after her official move had lasted.

He cleared his throat and reached around her and into the fridge, downing half of a water bottle the second he unscrewed the cap from the bottle. When he was finished with it he tossed it in the recycle bin and then he headed upstairs without so much of a word.

Claudia let out a sigh but continued to work on dinner, it was getting late and her stomach was growling. That was the last time she skipped an afternoon snack.

Fifteen minutes later James came bounding down the stairs in dark wash jeans, a white t-shirt and a hat on his head. Claudia’s eyebrow raised as he skipped past her and headed to the foyer, he was stuffing his feet into sneakers when she approached him and asked, “Are you not staying for dinner?”

He turned to look at her like a dog with his tail between his legs, cheeks slightly flushed as he said, “I uh… promised I’d go out with the guys tonight.”

Didn’t you promise them that three times already this week?

Of course she didn’t ask him that, no she only asked it in her head.

Instead, Claudia told him, “I just thought it would be nice to actually sit down and spend some time together.”

“Yeah… I know. We’ll try that tomorrow.” He told her as he headed for the door, barely stopping long enough to grab his keys from where he had tossed them earlier before he closed the door behind him.

Claudia let out a sigh and mumbled, “Yeah, I’m sure we will.”

She wanted to make a point to save the leftovers of the dinner she had cooked them both, but that small level of pettiness she had in her that she hated to let win did. She dumped what wasn’t eaten in the top of the garbage can and then she locked the front door and headed upstairs, both dogs hot on her heel.

They curled up in their bed as she crawled into hers, she didn’t want to feel the need to wait up for him because she knew, like many of the nights previously, he would be late but she knew she would try anyway. So she opened up Netflix, settled on a rerun of Law & Order and got comfortable underneath the covers.

She pulled her phone off of the nightstand next to her and opened up the last conversation she and James had shared over text, nearly two weeks ago when he had begged her to buy the good bread at the grocery store and not the healthier one.

With a gentle smile she tapped on the enter a message bar and typed out a message, hitting send before she could convince herself otherwise because she knew she would. She hated conflict, she knew that about herself, and she knew that she would convince herself not to say anything and allow things to go on the way they had been and that was unacceptable.

‘I don’t really know what’s going on but you told me to tell you when you screw up so I’m giving you the chance to tell me what’s going on before it gets to that point. I’ll be up for a while, if you decide to come home early tonight.’



A little over a week later Claudia found herself at home pacing the floor, following the grain of the hardwood in the living room. She was biting down hard on her nails and running her hands through her hair to the point where she might end up bald right away.

She checked her phone but there was no new update from James or anyone on the team, only a bunch of waiting messages asking how he was. Evidently, everyone in their lives knew how much James valued his teeth. The thought made her smile gently, before she frowned as she continued pacing the hardwood.

There was no real reason for her to react this way; it was just a high stick and only a few teeth. In reality, it could have been much, much worse. But she hadn’t been at that game, she hadn’t truly seen the play, she didn’t even know it had happened until James had text her after the game was done to let her know that he was headed to the hospital to have his mouth checked out and that he would be a little late getting home that night.

Initially, Claudia had thought he needed stitches. That was until he sent her a picture of the gaping hole in his mouth where his teeth had been, and a chin covered in dry blood.

The two had barely spoken since he had ignored her text message the night she had tried to give him a way to tell her what was going on without her having to force it out of him. Of course, after he had ignored her message and pretended he hadn’t even received it Claudia lost all gumption to even bring up the subject as it was.

However, all of that went out the window when she had received that text message. James had been lucky enough to avoid having to have much dental work done during his hockey career and figures, he gets his teeth knocked out when they’re in the middle of whatever it was that they were in the middle of. Claudia wouldn’t exactly call it a fight, but it was sure headed that way.

Her phone beeped and she nearly jumped out of her skin as she whipped around and headed to the entertainment set up where she had set her phone on one of the shelves housing DVD’s. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw that it was James who had sent her a text message. As much as she loved his family, and their mutual friends he was the only person she wanted to hear from right now.

‘I’m alive but… am I still cute without my front teeth?’

She couldn’t help but joke back.

‘It’s a good thing Christmas is coming and now I know what you’ll ask for.’

His response made her smile.

‘Ha ha. I’ll be home soon, please do not be alarmed by an intruder who has a lisp. It’s just me.’

‘I’ll see you soon.’

Twenty minutes later a vehicle pulled into their driveway, headlights illuminating the living room and making the dogs bark. Once she had gotten control of them Claudia unlocked the front door to let James in, she was sure he probably didn’t even have house keys. She was sure to wave at whatever teammate had driven him home, making a mental note to ask him in the morning and send an official thank you out.

He winced when she turned the light on and when Claudia gently took his face between her hands to inspect the damage James made her jump and giving her a wide, open mouthed smile, showing off his missing front teeth in all their glory.

Letting out a laugh he told her, “It’s not that bad.”

Claudia tried to keep her giggle to herself over the way he was talking, which made him smile but roll his eyes at her at the same time. She patted his chest and told him, “I guess that’s the price I pay for getting involved with a hockey player.”

“Truth.” He told her, and then he asked her, “So… I’m basically on a liquid diet for a while…can we go get milkshakes in the morning?”

Claudia let out a laugh as she wrapped an arm around his back and walked with him to their bedroom, she told him, “Only if I can document the fact that you’re having a milkshake for breakfast.”

“Fine. But I’m gonna show off my new look in that picture.” James told her as he once again grinned over at her.

“Fine.” She would have to get used to that. Once James was in his pyjamas and lying in bed Claudia climbed in beside him, and she couldn’t help but use their time together to ask him, “Are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room?”

“Do we have to?” He asked her with a slight pout.

“Cute looks aren’t gonna get you off the hook this time.” She informed him, a smile on her face but her voice was still firm. He sighed, and she told him, “You cannot just have your teeth knocked out in an effort to avoid having to talk to me, you know.”

James let out a laugh and he told her, “That was totally my intention.”

“I figured.”

He sighed for a second time, shuffled around to get comfortable and then he told Claudia, “Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

“Ever since you kind of let the whole ‘l’ word slip I’ve been a little freaked out.” He told her quietly.

She noted out loud, “You’ve been more than a little freaked out.”

James nodded his head slowly, and Claudia watched and waited in silence as he looked down at his hands, folded across his lower stomach and he let out a sigh. He admitted to her, “The thought of saying it back scares me, because I’ve never said it to anyone before in my life who didn’t already share my last name.”

“James… I didn’t expect you to say it back just because I said it. I would never expect that.” Claudia told him softly, reaching out to grab his hands in her own.

James gave her hand a squeeze before he looked over at her and said, “But I wanted to say it back, that’s the thing.”

“You did?” She asked in surprise, brow’s slightly lifted.

Nodding he explained, “And that scared me more than anything. Claudia I’ve never felt like this about anyone in my life before, and I wanted to be able to tell you how I felt but every time I tried I just panicked and then instead of saying I love you all that came out of my mouth was some dumb excuse for why I had to leave. Because I was afraid of saying it out loud, because saying it out loud makes it real and if it’s real it means… it means it could end.”

“James…”

“I know that’s stupid; to be afraid of something ending when you really have no reason to be afraid of that but… Claud… I have always been really good at ruining the good things in my life for no reason. I’ve been really good for that and I couldn’t handle that, not this time… not with us.” James told her softly, and when she reached out and brushed his hair from his forehead he admitted, “You’re the best thing I have going for me, and the fact that you even agreed to let me take you out to dinner is not lost on me. I don’t deserve you, I never have and yet for some reason you… you chose me and I’m terrified of telling you how I feel because then there’s more to lose.”

“You wanna know something I’ve never said to you before?” Claudia asked him and when he shrugged his shoulders, not quite looking her in the eye, Claudia caught his attention and brought it to her by telling him, “I let the most incredible person steal my heart and believe it or not… I don’t want it back.”

“Really?” James asked her, his voice raised just the slightest as he looked up at her in surprise.

Nodding Claudia reached over and placed her hand on his cheek before she told him, “Yeah and he’s a really great guy, super cute, gives the best hugs, looks pretty good in a hockey jersey.”

Claudia couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips as she leaned over to press her lips against his cheek when James stated, "You see, now I'm convinced you're talking about Shea."