Something Desired

By late afternoon my parents and Josh’s parents stop in to see their grandchild and the little one is passed around for everyone to cuddle. They are quiet and the conversation is good, fun and light hearted.

My mom was so kind to stop by the home and bring some extra things. I packed one overnight bag thinking only of the baby but not really of Josh and me. My mom stopped in and brought me and Josh a change of clothes and stopped in at the drugstore to pick up some sanitary items for the both of us. She even brought me my cell phone and charger. I forgot mine in the rush to the hospital. Josh, thankfully remembered his. If it wasn’t for him, our parents wouldn’t have known of the birth. Sure the hospital has phones we can use but they are of no use when you don’t know the telephone numbers. That’s the thing with cell phones you get used to having others contact information saved.

I watch everyone talk amongst themselves and not really paying attention to the conversation for my mind is already wondering. I want to tell Devon, send him an email or a text but I can’t, not now with everyone here. Devon knows that it was going to happen at any time, well I will let him know at some point, he is my friend.

I don’t mind the little one getting all of the attention that she is and I have to admit, I love seeing them all fall in love with her. The more I look at her I see myself in her and I am not sure that I see Devon in her. It is for the best I guess. She could be Devon’s daughter but the reality is that she could also be my donor’s.

My dad says, “Jordan.” It startles me from my day dreaming and he continues, “You are out in space kiddo. So, when are you going to decide on a name?”

I look at Josh and he gives me a shrug and I answer dad, “I have no idea what to name her.”

My mom interrupts, “You guys need to decide on something before going home.”

I say, “I don’t think it matters if we don’t name her right away.”

“Well, the sooner you name her the sooner you can get her registered and covered for health.” My mom knows and I hadn’t really thought about the medical benefits and all of that wonderful stuff. I know that Josh and I will eventually decide on something but that something just hasn’t been decided on. We had nine months and go figure we leave something like this till the last minute.

My dad says, “You’re an author. You come up with character names pretty easily, there must be some that you like?”

I lean on my side while in the hospital bed, chuckle and roll my eyes at him, “Yes Dad but really all the names that I loved I have already used on my characters and now that she is here I don’t want to use my character names and then have her come back to me once she is grown, accusing me of naming her after one of my characters.”

Josh’s mother who is now holding our sleeping little girl suggests, “What about naming her Sara. I always loved that name and if Josh was a girl that is what I would have named him.”

Josh makes a face at her, “Mom…”

She smirks knowing that she has embarrassed her son. She admits, “What, it’s the truth. You would have been called Sara.”

I try to not let my emotions show with that name. Sara, Devon’s wife. The woman who hates me. I clear my throat trying to sound neutral, “I can’t use that name, it’s the name of a friend of ours.”

Josh’s mom says, “I am sure your friend would be flattered that you used her name.”

Josh’s mom has a personality that sometimes clashes with my own. Over the years I have had to work hard to build a good relationship with her because to be quite honest the only thing that we have in common is our love for Josh. I am not the only one that has struggled with her. I have been witness to holiday family gatherings going wrong because of Josh’s mom getting into some argument with other family members. The problem with her is that she takes no notice to reading people and if she does, she ignores it and she is one of those people that always has to be right and have the last word. Josh took that trait from her and it is one of the only things that I really hate about him.

I know her well enough to not feed into this conversation any further. My parents are here and I want their first meeting of my daughter to be a memorable one in a good way and not a family drama way. I just smile at her comment and Josh steps in.

“Jordan and I will decide later.”

Josh’s dad senses it and before his wife says anything more he says, “That’s a good plan. Jordan I agree with your mom in the two of you deciding on something before you leave.”

“We will. I mean I have a couple of ideas I just need to think about it some more.”