Angel of Yesterday

November 17th, 2015

20 days left

I gave Peridot a tape recorder the other day, I thought maybe because we broke all her stuff she would appreciate this. She did. She uses it all the time now. Annoying Pearl most of the time with it. Anyway, today she told Garnet to defuse because it made her uncomfortable, and Garnet, well she tied Peridot to the feces with a child's leash. It was funny to see that she was struggling against the rope and was confused about why she was there in the first place. It was also cruel, but nobody really cared.

I watched as Peridot struggled to get to the microwave, I turned around to face Pearl and hand her what I was holding. “Here you go, Pearl.” I told her, and she grabbed it from me.

She turned it in her hand examine it. “Oh, good. Hmm ... No ... No, no, no, no, I said I needed tungsten. Tungsten?” I frowned, I guess I didn't get the right thing. Damn it.

“Uh ... what does "tungsten" look like?” I asked confused.

“Tungsten.” Amethyst stuck her tongue out at Pearl, that couldn't help, but giggle a little at her girlfriend. “Ahh.” She ran over to Pearl and tackled her to the ground trying to lick her cheek. I heard Pearl giggle and scream trying to get her off of her. She finally pushed Amethyst off, and stood up. Pearl's cheeks were dark blue as she swept the dirt off of her.

“Ugh … fine … I will do it myself.” Pearl said and stormed off leaving Amethyst there with her tongue still sticking out, she shrugged and looked at me. We heard Peridot grunt and tried to reach for the screwdriver. I picked it up.

“Is this what you want?” I had asked her, and she nodded.

“Yes, that's exactly the leverage optimizer that I needed.” Did she just call a screwdriver a leverage optimizer, what? I guess Amethyst caught what she said as well because she then started to tease Peridot about what she called different things. It was actually really funny, by the time Amethyst asked what she called the butt. I haven't laughed this hard in awhile and it felt nice too. We stopped laughing when Pearl walked back over to us, saying that all we needed was a drill head now then the drill will be set to build. Peridot then mention we can get one from the Prime Kindergarten, then got all butt hurt when Garnet said she couldn't go alone to get one. Garnet doesn't trust Peridot all that much.

Amethyst volunteer herself and me to go with Peridot, so now we were at the kindergarten looking for a good enough injector to take the drill back home. “Log date: 7112. The Amethyst and the Steven have volunteered to help me dismantle this Era 1 drill. How stylistically displeasing. The newer ones have a nicer finish.” Peridot spoke into her tape recorder, and Amethyst had to comment and call her a nerd. I told Amethyst to cut that out as I jumped off the injector, landing next to the two. “As you can see, this planet is annoying and everything is annoying. Amongst its transgressions is the need for the Amethyst to ask permission from the perma-fusion.”

“Okay, Okay. Do Steven next. What's weird about Steven?” Amethyst asked laughing. Hey, there was nothing weird about me. That's what I thought anyway, but Peridot thought I was weird as she just went on and on about it.

“Where do I even begin! He's some sort of hybrid abomination, I don't even understand how he functions! His organic half consumes so much energy that he has to constantly feed, and he spends so much time expelling that he has a whole room dedicated to it!” Peridot laughs, as my face fell. I looked down at my body, suddenly feeling self-conscious. I felt like she basically just called me fat there. That kind of hurt, and I thought she was my friend. “The strangest thing is,” she continued while she laughed, “Amethyst, you think you have to listen to them! You're the one who should be in charge!” Things just took a turn. “You're the only Crystal Gem, that's actually a Gem!”

“Uhm ...” Amethyst laughed nervously trying to comprehend what Peridot was trying to say. I was as confused as Amethyst was. “What?”

“You outrank everyone on your team. They should be listening to you! You're a strong, singular, fully functional soldier, despite the fact you're defective.” Amethyst face had dropped when Peridot said that she was defective. Ouch. I wanted to hug Amethyst and tell her that Peridot was wrong. So so wrong. If anyone was defective it was me. “You're small! Well, you're not supposed to be!” Peridot looked around before spotting Amethyst's hole in the wall.

“Hold on, wait, wait. Let me guess. This! This is the hole you came out of! Too small, too low. The exit marks look 500 years newer than every other hole. Hmm, this place must have been empty when you came out. No wonder you have no idea what you're supposed to look like!”

I clenched my fists they fell to the side of me. “Peridot ...” I warned before Amethyst stops me by putting her hand on my shoulder. She squeezed as she spoke her words slowly.

“What was I supposed to look like?”

“Well, you're a quartz. They're huge, loyal soldiers. You should be twice your size. Broad shouldered, intimidating. However, you simply stayed in the ground too long.” Peridot shrugged, now Amethyst was angry, I winced slightly as she squeezed my shoulder harder before letting go.

“Are you saying I'm wrong?!”

Peridot apparently thought this whole conversation was funny and that upsets me. “Gemetically speaking, yes. When you think about it, it's all so ...” *snickers*She snickers … funny!” she laughs and all I can do was look at how Amethyst looked upset and angry with herself and Peridot combined. I looked at Amethyst and mouthed her name. “Hey, soldier. Maybe you can help me get this hunk of drill off-” before she can even finish speaking Amethyst summoned her weapon and violently cuts the drill head off an injector. “See, look at that! You can do everything a normal quartz can do. Let's head back, and shove this thing in Pearl's face!”

“Amethyst? Are you okay?” I whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder. She shrugs me off and started to walk off. Uh Oh.

“Don't worry about it.” She called.

"You were pretty mean to Amethyst at the Kindergarten." I told Peridot as she was feeling ignored when Amethyst wouldn't pay attention to her. I didn't want to be talking to Peridot, but I didn't want Amethyst to be hurt either.

"Mean? No way! I was being... "cool". Amethyst loved it. She's probably telling the Pearl how much fun she had now." Peridot waved when she saw Amethyst looking at her. "Amethyst, hi, hi, hi, Amethyst!" She walks into the barn ignoring Peridot altogether, I chuckled a little. "She ... she won't even look at me. It's making me feel ... smaller."

"You feel bad! That's how you made her feel." I tried to tell Peridot, who just snorted and shook her head.

"Who cares about how she feels? Who cares about any of you! You're all just rocks! Ruddy, muddy, clumps beneath my gravity connectors!" She grunts and falls on the ground.

"Ugh, another one of her temper tantrums. I'm surprised you two made it back from the Kindergarten without driving each other crazy!" I overheard Pearl say, and she wrapped her arms around Amethyst putting her face in her hair.

"Yeah..." Amethyst replied.

A little, Peridot was working on the drill while I was holding her leash, she grunted. "This little thing ..." She grunts again turning as she saw Amethyst, grunting louder. Amethyst walks past, not even acknowledging that Peridot was there. She stared at her before continuing to work on the drill. I asked how everything was going. "Fine ...! There's nothing wrong, everything's fine!" She pushed a button making a mistake and she tries to fix it. "Ah! No, no, no, no, no, stop!" Peridot grunts again before falling off the drill and coughs "The panel ...!" I jumped onto the drill as it begins to spin out of the control. "Wait!"

Peridot leash gets caught on a piece of metal and she is unable to chase after me and the drill. "It's okay, I got it!" I said lying, as I was starting to feel sick to my stomach and dizzy as the drill spun and spun at a fast pace. It started to spin out of control around the yard. Unsuspecting, Amethyst comes around the corner of the barn, only to be faced with the drill heading towards her. I heard Peridot yell Amethyst's name, but all I can see around me was blurred images. Was I going to die? I finally able to rip the drill panel off and stop the drill. I jumped off the drill all dizzy. "It's okay, everything's okay! It was just a drill!" I laughed then collapsed against the side of the drill. Peridot was on top of Amethyst, they were both blushing madly. Just good thing Pearl wasn't there to see it, she was the jealous type.

After all that, Pearl and Garnet came back, Pearl freaked out about the mess when she saw it and saw Amethyst and me cleaning up the debris thrown around the yard. Now Amethyst and I were behind the barn, leaning against it. "Is this how you feel, Steven?" she asked me. I was confused before I realized what she was talking about. I looked down at my hands.

"Yeah … I guess so … I don't know. I always feel lonesome, like I can never talk to anybody about my problems because I am different from everybody. You know? I am half human, half-gem. Who can actually understand what I am going through?" I shrugged again and started to play with the grass between my fingers.

"However, Peridot called you defective. That wasn't very nice. You might not be feeling to good about that, huh?" I asked after a minute of silence. Before Amethyst could answer me, Peridot walked over. We stood up, coming to the same height as her.

"Listen, I ... uhm ..." Peridot stops trying to find the right words.

"Just spit it out." Amethyst says annoyed.

Peridot shocked by the way , Amethyst spoke, she gets angry and grunts. "Ughh!" She facepalms herself. "Why are you earthlings so difficult!?" Peridot slams her thumb on the recorder she was holding and lets us hear, what was on it. "Log date: 7112. This entire planet is backwards. There hasn't been one instance of correct behavior exhibited by any one of these "Crystal Gems". I have concluded that they are all defective. But I am no better. I failed my mission and now I'm working with the enemy. And I can't even get that right. I have apparently "hurt" Amethyst's "feelings", which was not my intent. If I've damaged my standing with the best Gem here, then I've made a serious mistake. I'm still learning. I hope you understand. I want to understand. I'm sorry. Peridot. Facet 5. End log." Peridot turns off the recorder when it was done. "As you can see,—"

"Peridot ... Thanks." Amethyst said and smiles at her before walking away. Peridot smiles awkwardly back at her.

November 20th, 2015

17 Days Left

My therapist actually told me to write down everything that has been going on and that's what I have been doing, I don't leave anything out. So, it's November twentieth, it's been three days since I wrote any entries, which was pretty bad considering so much had happened. I learned the story of how Sapphire and Ruby met. That was cute. Oh and we also went to the moon. We went to the moon because we were looking for a missing piece of the drill, then we could actually say it was finished. We all hopped onto Lion to take us there because there wasn't a warp pad connected to the base. I learned some things about the past, it was pretty interesting. However, I think Peridot was up to more than what we came there for.

Anyway, yesterday, I had followed Peridot into the barn, and had her go into the truck with me that was parked inside. I wanted to question her about what happened at the moon, but I needed to be slick about it, but also I knew she was hiding something from me, and I wanted to know what that was. "I wanted to ask you about the … diamonds." I started off.

I guess she was a little shock about my question, as she kind of looked nervous while she was talking to me. "Oh! I don't know what the others have told you, but there's a reason they're in charge. They're objectively better than us. Every Gem has their strengths and weaknesses, but not them. They're absolutely totally completely flawless beings! Especially my diamond, Yellow Diamond, the most perfect, the most reasonable, rational, efficient decider ever to exist in the universe!" Seems to me she really looked up to this Yellow Diamond. It was slightly creepy, I could never look up to somebody that much.

"You're really royal to her … are you not?" I asked slowly getting her comfortable with me.

"How could I not be? We might have our little truce, but I'll never forsake the Gem I was made for!" I rolled my eyes before sighing.

"Good because she's … right behind her." The moment she turned around I grabbed the 3D diamond shape whatever the thing was right out of Peridot's hand. It had the facets colors white, light yellow, light blue and light pink. I jumped out of the truck locking it behind me. "Save your strength! You're up against one of the earth's greatest trapping technologies, the child safety lock!"

Peridot gasped looking at me through the truck window. "Oh, no! How could you do this to me, the great and lovable Peridot?! I thought we were finally friends like you wanted ..."

"I saw you sneak this off the moon base while nobody else was looking!" I held up the device. "What is it? Tell me!" I demanded it.

"It's nothing special. And definitely not important at all."

"Hmm!" I knew she was lying so I picked up a hammer that was lying on the floor. "Then why don't I just smash it!"

"No, no, no, no, no, wait! All right, look. I have a plan. Allow me to explain ... it's ... a communicator. Meant for the express purpose of contacting the Diamonds back on Homeworld." I was shocked and I felt betrayed by her.

"You're still trying to contact Homeworld?"

"Yes, of course! I figured it out. You simple clods keep trying to protect the earth, but you can't do anything right! I let myself get carried away, too ... laughing, singing, building our little machine ... but don't you see? None of that matters! All that matters is that I'm of use to Yellow Diamond! This planet can be of use to Yellow Diamond! I must contact her, to reveal what I've discovered!"

"But the Diamonds are bad! They don't care about the earth! They wanted to hollow it out, and now they wanna blow it up with the Cluster! Why do I keep sticking my neck out for you? You're never gonna be on our side! Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl!" I said and shook my head, I ran out of the barn hearing her yell after me. I closed the barn door.

I met up with the gems and we talked about it, before hearing Peridot honk the horn of the truck. "I see she knows what a horn is now." I sighed and sat down on the ground feeling defeated and used.

"You offered her a lot of your trust." Garnet said, pointing out the obvious.

"I did! And it blew up in my face. You guys have been protecting Earth for thousands of years. She could've destroyed all of that. A whole earth, why did I think I could change her mind?" I really thought I could. I thought maybe I could get her to change, then I can have another family member, somebody that I can talk to about problems. I don't know what I was thinking.

"Ugh, I know right? But I guess you can't like go into peoples heads and change how they think. Maybe we can? Yeaaah if we just shrink down really little-" Amethyst was trying to say before getting caught off by me.

"No no no, I don't want to tell her what to do. She should just know. Shouldn't she?"

"It's 'cause you believe in everyone Steven. Like your mother, you seem to have a little more patience, then the rest of us. But the truth is, not everyone deserves that patience." Garnet compared me to my mother, I didn't want to be compared to somebody that everybody thinks I seem to be. I wasn't her. Just because I had her gem, doesn't mean I was her.

"Look on the bright side. At least you got this thing away from her before she did any real damage." Pearl was trying to sound optimistic, but it wasn't working.

"... Yeah." I replied.

Everything went so quickly, I don't remember everything that happened, but somehow Peridot broke out of the truck and got hold of the communicator. I wish I could remember what happened, but I think I accidentally hit my head on something when one of the gems threw me back out of the way. I remembered that Peridot had this giant robot that she built awhile back when she was trying to prove herself to Pearl. Long story, I will not tell. Anyway, Peridot had got hold of the communicator and turned it on. It glowed yellow as she called her diamond. I was pulled behind Peridot's bot with the other gems, my head was pounding and it was hard to concentrate then. Everything was a bit hazy.

The communicator opened up a hologram as Peridot gets manically excited. A yellow pearl appeared in the hologram, her build and facial features are similar to that of my Pearl. She sports a beige or pale peach maillot. She also wears puffy, canary yellow, sheer shoulder sleeves, and no skirt, as well as pale yellow long stockings and bright yellow flats. Yellow Pearl also has a puffy yellow pixie haircut that is pointy and in a similar bob design and pale yellow skin. Her gemstone, a yellow pearl, is on her chest and is a round polished cabochon. "This is the Yellow Diamond control room."

I don't want to go into too much detail about this, but let's say that it ended up with Peridot saying; “Apparently more than YOU! You ... CLOD!!!!” Then the communicator exploded. It was pretty wicked. However, now Peridot is all depressed and freaking out that she did that. I guess she will get over with it soon. I'm hungry, so I am going to sign off and go eat. Until the next report, hopefully it will be better. Maybe I should go and take my medicine. Who am I kidding? I'm not going to do that.