Angel of Yesterday

November 10th, 2015

34 Days Left

Lapis Lazuli always seemed to be happy to see me. I stood there watching as she waved at me, before tilting her head to the side confused. "Are you not happy to see me?" She asked. I rubbed my eyes to see if I was imagining things when I reopened them, she was still there. "I'm real. As I can ever be." This can't be happening. I turned around, took a deep breath, cleared my mind and turned back around to still see her there.

"How are you here? You are in my room right now smashed into pieces." Lapis shrugged and started to make airplane noises and spread her arms running around like an airplane. Tears welled up in my eyes before laughing and doing the same. "Doesn't matter. I'm glad you are back. The gems would be so happy to hear that you are okay."

"Steven, what are you doing?" I stopped playing to be an airplane and looked at Pearl. She looked concerned. "Who are you talking too?" I looked around, Lapis wasn't around anymore. "I came out here to check on you, Greg, said you just ran off." Where did Lapis go? She did the same thing that the gem did back in the woods.

"I was playing airplane with Lapis. She was just here, Pearl. She's alive after all. I chased her down here, and we were playing airplane. It was great." I jumped up and down before stopping and wincing. I looked at Pearl's face, it was a mixed of confusion and worry. "You don't believe do you?" I asked. "You are just like Garnet. There was a male gem in the woods yesterday. He talked to me and gave me advice on how to deal with my demons. However, Garnet didn't see him either."

"I'm sorry, Steven. I would love to believe you, but … there was no one here when I came to get you …" She bit her lip, and I shook my head shrugging. I wasn't going to argue with her anymore, it wasn't going to get me anywhere. I know what I saw, and I believed what I saw. I walked past her, and around the rock, to find Lapis standing there waving before running away. I giggled, then it disappeared as I saw a girl knocking on our Beach House door. Amethyst answered and then pointed towards me. The girl turned around to show Connie staring at me. My heart stopped. I haven't seen her since Halloween.

We stood there our eyes locked in a deep stare. I felt a hand on my shoulder, lifting my head up, I looked at Pearl. She nodded and let me go. I started walking towards the beach house as Connie was walking down the stairs. We met halfway, a couple of inches part we stared at each other. Not one of us spoke a word. It was an uncomfortable silence, I wanted to tell her I was so sorry I couldn't save her. And that it was all my fault that she got hurt in the first place. Before I knew it, she had flung her arms around my neck pulling me into a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around her waist, laying my cheek on the side of her head. "I'm so so sorry ..." I whispered.

I felt her shake her head back and forth in a small motion as we just stood there and hugged each other. "Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry about, Steven. I missed you so much." She whispered in my ear, my cheeks heated up and I was speechless. She giggled and pulled away kissing my cheek.

"I missed you too. I tried coming by to see if you were okay, but your mom wouldn't let me see you." I told her. And she nodded before looking behind her. She looked like she was watching out for somebody. "Are you okay, Connie? Is there anything you want to tell me?" She looked at me before shaking her head.

"I have to go, Steven. I would love to stay, but I had ditched school to see you. However, I have to get back for my next period before I get in trouble." She kisses me on the cheek before running away and waving goodbye. I waved back, feeling empty that she had to go so soon.

Later That Night

The house was quiet, everybody was in their rooms, along with me. However, I wasn't alone, I was under the covers with a flashlight, and no other than Lapis Lazuli. I giggled. "For real, though, Earth isn't so bad if you have friends. Lately, I feel like I have no one, and no one believes that you are still here, or that Matt guy from the woods. I have been feeling so lonely." My giggles stop and I looked down at my hands. A blue one clasped one of mine and squeezed, I looked up and saw Lapis smiling at me.

"Steven, they don't have to believe. They kept me locked up in a mirror, they knew I was there and they didn't anything about it. Their minds are different from ours. It's okay that they don't believe you because I believe you. I'm here, right?" Lapis squeezed my hand and I smiled nodding. "However, I have to go. It's almost morning." She kissed my forehead and got out from underneath the cover fort. By the time I got the sheets off of me, she was gone.

Sighing, I snuggled back into my bed feeling a little lonely once again. I wish she would have stayed longer. I would have talked to her all the way until morning. I closed my eyes ready for sleep to overcome me when a hand covered my mouth. I opened my eyes to see Peridot looking down at me through her yellow visors. I screamed, but it was muffled by the hand. I started to struggle when she took me to the warp pad. I was scared, my heart was beating and I didn't know what she wanted with me. We had made it to the galaxy pad, why were we here? "Aargh, let me go!" I screamed the moment she took her hand off of my mouth.

"Enough of this!" Peridot had shouted in my face before setting me down before I had a chance to respond she pointed a finger at me and a shot of blue light came towards me making me hover in the air. She moved her finger making me move and hover over the Homeworld Gem warp pad.

"What do you want from me?" I shrugged to ask, moving my flailing arms and legs around, as I hovered. Peridot walked over to where I was at.

"I want to get off this lousy gem-forsaken planet!" She practically screamed at me, before she disabled her tractor beam and made me fall to the ground. Her disembodied fingers had shaped into an arrow and points to the warp pad that we were on. "You have to fix this." She demands.

"Wait, what?" I asked confused. Like why did she want me to fix it?

"You're my last chance. I've got no Flask Robonoids. I've got no foot! I've got no response from Yellow Diamond!" She had breathed in and out. "I know you fixed Lazuli's gem. Whatever you did, you've got to do it to the Homeworld Warp!" She clicked something with her arm, and a glow imitated inside of it. "Or else!" she threatened.

"Oh- oh- okay, just give me a second! My mouth gets really dry when I'm scared." My mouth was pretty dry, but I managed to get some saliva up and lick my left palm. "Here goes!" My palm hits the warp pad with a wet smack sound, but nothing happens at all. I saw Peridot look around confused, I knew it wasn't going to work. I haven't had my healing powers for a little while now.

"What was that?! It didn't do ANYTHING!" I looked down feeling like a failure. It was a feeling that never truly goes away. And it hurt to know I couldn't do anything right.

"It ... doesn't always work." I hesitantly said looking up at the green gem.

"No ..." She shook her head showing exasperation. "No no no no no! It HAS TO WORK!"

"I'm really sorry ..."

Peridot laughs, sitting down. Her arms curl around her legs and looks up plaintively. "This was it ... This was my last shot!" She breathes in sharply. "I'm gonna die here! Noooooh, oh-"

"Hey, hey- come on! Earth isn't that bad ..." It really wasn't when you had friends and people that love you. Maybe Peridot would want to be my friend and we won't be lonely anymore.

"It doesn't matter what Earth is like! It's not going to be like anything soon!"

"What do you mean?" I asked before I was cut off by the sound of one of the warp pads being activated and the Crystal Gems were in the room. Peridot got up in a hurry running away from me.

"There he is!" Pearl hugs me when she got to me, I was tense before hugging her back. She pulls away noticing my tenseness. "What happened?!" Amethyst and Garnet approach the both of us.

"Ahh, you're okay!" Amethyst said patting my head.

"Peridot!" Garnet yelled at the running Peridot.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?!" She yelled as she shoots three blasts at the Crystal gems in quick successions from her arm. The Crystal Gems dodge and continue running towards Peridot, who was spinning her left fingers like a propeller to fly away. Unfortunately, Amethyst caught Peridot with her whip. "Hah!" Screamed Peridot as she shoots electricity down through the whip, Amethyst let's go, but immediately Garnet grabs the whip with her right hand in a gauntlet. She stops the green electricity, then shoots reddish electric shocks up the whip shocking Peridot.

"Not this time." She grunts and jerks the whip downwards, crashing Peridot to the ground. I gasped shocked at the immense strength she had, and I was hoping Peridot was okay. I wanted her to be my new friend. There was dust everywhere so I couldn't see if she was okay or not.

Then I heard coughing then an angry grunt. "Wait, wait ... you- you need me!" I heard her say before I wanted to scream out to her seeing that Pearl was sneaking up behind her with her spear drawn. I kept my mouth shut not wanting to sound like a traitor. "I'm ... the only one who knows ABOUT THE -" Peridot turns around to see Pearl, Garnet comes up and grab her. She poofs instantly. Peridot's limb enhancers fall to the ground and once again I was out of a friend because of the Crystal Gems.

"What on Earth?" Pearl asked confused as she looks down at the limb enhancers. I felt really sad as I looked down at them standing next to the gems.

"Ugh, sick, there're bits of her all over." Amethyst made a fake gagging noise.

"Nope, she's right here." Garnet bubbles Peridot's gem and sends her off. I looked down at my hands feeling sad over this. She just wanted off this planet, like Lapis did. "And now she's in the temple."

November 11th, 2015
33 days left

"It's weird, you know?" I was sitting under the massive chunk of rock that mold the hand of the temple. I was inside of its palm, with Lapis beside me. We were both watching the tides of the early morning come on the beach and then be swept away back into the ocean. "It's weird that I had felt lonely when Garnet had bubbled Peridot. I know you resent her, I feel you judging me this moment. You don't understand, though, when do you ever see me hang out with anyone, Lapis?" I looked at her and she had her dull expression, but I could tell she was biting her lip from saying something. I sighed. "She captured you and brought you back to earth, even though all you wanted to do was go home. I understand all of this. And I know you hate her. I understand that as well. However, she wanted to tell us something; the Crystal Gems. Something about the Earth. I want to know what that is. Maybe if she tells me, then we can become friends, and I won't be lonely anymore."

I heard shuffling next to me, looking beside me I saw Lapis get on her knees and put her hands on her lap. "I don't think it's a very good idea. She is a Homeworld gem, like me, Steven. We have different … opinions … then the people of Earth. No offense, but us Homeworld Gems just think this is another planet that we can rule and build more gems. She won't understand. So, it's not a very good idea to try to talk to her and become her friend."

I was going to answer when I saw a male with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder walking towards us. As he got closer I noticed it was the same male from the forest, he waved at us, and I watched Lapis wave back. "Ah, Lapis, I see you are not crushed. Long time no sees." Matt said and sat down next to her with his bag in his lap. "Nice to see you, Steven." He held out his callous blue hand for a shake, which I took gratefully and shook it. "Ah, you have a grip like a man. Very good. Very good." I giggled and shrugged before putting my hands down in my lap again. "I see, you have a conflicting thought."

"I was telling him that it isn't a good idea to let out a certain Homeworld gem bubbled in the temple. An Era two Peridot. The one who took me away from my home and put me back down on this miserable planet." I sighed feeling overwhelmed with emotions. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help her, but I also knew that he wasn't a good idea to do it. It was, however, grinding at me. It grinding me up in the finest of pieces. Matt ran his hand through his cotton candy hair, nodding. 'I see. It's up to Steven on what he thinks is right. I mean, I understand the whole situation where you are coming from Lapis. However, you are just being bitter from it all. You are bitter that Peridot took you from your home you worked so hard to get back. Let Steven think of this by himself." Matt said reasonably before Lapis punched him in the arm glaring at him. "What it's the truth."

Standing up, I stretched my arms high above my head. "I think I decided what I am going to do. Thank you for helping you two." However, I didn't get a response the two already disappeared they needed to stop doing this to me. It was getting pretty old. "Thanks, you two." I rolled my eyes and walked back to the temple, the gems were all sitting around on the couch looking highly suspicious. I narrowed my eyes. "Were you all spying on me?" I asked them.

Pearl was the one that gave them away. Her cheeks went a dark blue and she stood up once I noticed her. "Yes, Steven, we were. We are worried, you keep sneaking off, and then start to talk to yourself. We have asked Greg to set up an appointment for you to talk to a human they like to call a therapist. We might expect that you were affected by the events that have been going on more than you have been trying to tell us." I looked stunned at her. What? I shook my head and ran my hand through my mass of curls.

"I don't need a therapist. And I don't talk to myself, I talk with my friends. Matt and Lapis. Just like now. Didn't you see Matt come over to me and sat down? That's who I was talking too." I was now questioning my own insanity. Were they right? Was I just talking to myself this whole time? Was Matt just a creation of my imagination? Lapis, did she get crushed underneath the ship? And I was just imagining her being here with us? Is that why they always disappeared when the Crystal Gems were around? I shook my head again. "No. No. No. They are real. I talk to them, they help me cope with what I am going through." They really did help me. "You all don't understand! You are not even humans, let alone real! You are aliens, from a different planet. A manifestation of light. Do you realize what I even go through?" The moment I said those words I regretted every bit of it.

Pearl's eyes started to water, and a hand on her mouth as she stared down at me. Amethyst got up quickly and ran to her partner. "Hey, shh, it's okay. Don't worry about it. He didn't mean it, did you, Steven?" Amethyst asked. I stood there lost for words. I didn't know if I did mean it or not. Garnet stood up and towered over me.

"Steven, to your room now. You are grounded until further noticed." I looked up at her, anger boiled inside me now, covering up the regret that I once felt. I shook my head.

"No. I'm not," I said and pushed passed them over to the temple door. "I'm sorry, but I'm not following orders. You all think I am crazy and need a therapist. However, it's you. You don't understand. They are real and I will prove it. I just wish I had a place to think this over, without any way of you up my ass." Then the temple door open to show Rose's room, think god that actually worked. I walked inside letting the door shut, just as Garnet ran up to it.

I looked around the pink clouded room and took a deep breath. I then fell to my knees and started to cry. I cried because I didn't know if I was still me or if I was going insane. I cried because I made Pearl cry while I was being stupid. I cried because I couldn't take this pain anymore. It was too hard for me. Everything. I lost my only friend because she got hurt while she was out with me trick-or-treating. I lost somebody close to me because I wasn't strong enough to go back and save her. I lost my family for being an ass. I lost everything and everyone.

My body tensed when I felt a hand on my shoulder. My head lifted up to see Lapis and Matt there. I scooted away from them shaking my head. "You are all in my head. You are not real. Just go away!" I was expecting them to go away. Like the room would make them go away or something, but they just stared at me. Concerned. "Why aren't you leaving?" I screamed at them.

"We are not leaving because you don't really want us to leave." It was Matt that spoke, he sat down on a pink floating cloud, his legs crossed, and his messenger back on the side of him. "You want us around, so we are here. You want somebody to hold you and tell you everything will be okay. I am your voice inside your head, Steven, I am always here." I curled up in a ball and shook my head, just wishing they would leave me alone. A hand touched me again, and I went to slap it away when it grabbed my hand. I looked to see Lapis holding it.

"Don't listen to him, Steven. The Crystal Gems, love you. Even if they don't understand, and even if I do not like them one bit. However, I understand where they are coming from. They want to help you because they love you. I want to help you because I love you. Do not do what you are thinking." What was I thinking? How did she know what I was thinking?

"Stop telling me what to do! You are dead, and you are not ever coming back. I couldn't save you, I couldn't save Connie, I'm a failure and you all know it. That's why you are here. M-maybe if I can just end it all, then I can be with you." Something popped up and dropped to the floor. "No, room, I know that won't help. Open a door to the rest of the temple please!" I called. A door appeared a little bit away from us. I got back onto my feet and ran over to the door, I heard Lapis call after me as I jumped down. It was now or never. To stop them from following me. To leave me alone.