Power

Chuck makes the introductions, gesturing between us and the girl. "Becky Rosen: Supernatural's number one fan. Ivy and Emma Winchester: Supernatural's stars."

The overly excited girl bounces on her toes, smiling brightly at us. Well...at me. She's cute, in an annoying sort of way. "Hi! So great to meet you!"

I smile politely. "Good to meet you, too, Becky."

Oh, god. She nearly fainted. I quickly turn my attention to Chuck.

~~~

After that, I was hit with a sudden onslaught of emails from Becky, and I quickly became overwhelmed. This girl was completely insane. Emma found it absolutely hilarious. I could have pummeled my sister for her insensitivity.

Today, after two months of this nonsense, I've finally given up and messaged her back.

"Becky. Thank you for your support. I appreciate your enthusiasm. But you have to stop with all these emails, okay? I cant read them all. Any useful information you have, please relay it to Chuck. Keep up the awesome work!"

That should do, I decide. Might hurt her feelings--but, hey. Shit happens. Especially when you're crazy.

My laptop pings as another email pops up in my inbox, and I open it with a heavy sigh. Becky took a whole fifteen minutes to reply. She must have taken it pretty hard.

"I'm sorry for bothering you, Ivy! I just want to help! I'll do as you say, I promise. But I hope we can talk soon...."

With another sigh, I respond.

"Good. When I'm not too busy, which is rare, maybe we can talk."

As I press send, my annoying sister speaks up near my ear. "Really?"

I jump and turn to glare at her. "What?"

"You told your stalker that you might talk with her when you're free? You're encouraging her."

My eyes widen as I stare at my laptop screen. "Really? You think that's the message she got from that?"

"Definitely." Walking away from me, she says, "You're SCREWWWWED."

I let out a tortured sound, dropping my head onto my folded arms.

The reply I get two minutes later all but confirms my sister's words.

"Really?! Oh, great! I look forward to it!"

I'm committing suicide on the next hunt.

~~~

I only get a few emails every couple months from Becky for the next year, and I'm surprised by her restraint. At first, I respond to them out of pure graciousness; but after awhile, I find myself actually...enjoying our broken up conversations. She's really sweet, and funny...and, ya know, she worships me. Who doesn't like that?

So when she messages me and asks if I want to hang out with her next time Emma and I are in town, I agree. What can I say? I'm a softy. So, in a few weeks when we're in her town and the case is over, I tell Emma I'm going out, I'll be back later.

I go to Becky's beautiful white farmhouse, and when the door opens and she sees me, the girl leaps at me, throwing her arms around my neck. Once I've recovered from the shock, I return the hug, patting her back. When she nuzzles into my neck, I feel weird, so I carefully pry her off of me. Now that I am getting a good look at her...wow. I should'a let her hold on longer. She looks...different. Guess the puberty fairy visited her years late...but DAMN, was it worth the wait. She's beautiful, HAWT. Her skin is clear and her hair is thick and wild, that stupid headband gone. Her teeth are fixed--no more braces--and the smile she gives me causes jarring reactions from my body. My heart beats faster, my mind slows.... I feel like a teenager again, nervous in front of a cute girl. Have her eyes always been like that? Big and mesmerizing as she blinks long lashes at me.... I clear my throat and smile at her.

"Uh, hey, Becky."

"I'm so glad to see you, Ivy!" Her voice is different, too. Not nasally anymore.

"Yeah...." Work, brain! Dammit.... "Yeah. It's good to see you, too."

She grabs my arm and pulls me inside.

In the kitchen, she sits me in a chair and goes to the stove in her usual hustle-'n'-bustle way. "I'll make tea."

"That'd be great."

She smiles at me. "Iced or hot?"

"Uh, ice."

"Luzianne or Earl Grey?"

I blink. "Earl Grey, thanks. You know my favourite tea? Is that in the books or somethin'?"

"No, just that you like tea," Becky says as she busies herself. "Your favourites are on your Facebook. It's funny that the only social media you use is Facebook."

"...You really do your homework, huh?" The memory of how wacky she is has started to part the fog in my mind created by her new appearance.

"Yep! I wanted you to be comfortable when you came here."

"Well, that's nice of you, Becky."

She looks so pleased by my praise, I begin to feel overwhelmed again. I don't know how to handle one person being so eager to make me happy. It's new to me. Also, everything about her is extreme. There's no other level with her. She has to research until she knows everything about something she likes. She has to have everything exactly so, I notice, as I look around her house. Her moods are the same--always in the extremes. She's mentally ill. But, hell--so am I. I won't judge her too hard for that. I believe she has good intentions.

The smiling girl nods for me to follow her, and we go sit on the living room couch. She sets two glasses of ice tea in the table, and I happily down half the contents of mine immediately.

"Thirsty girl," she says, sitting beside me, and the way she says it, the way she looks at me, has me REACTING again.

A blush blooms from my face and over my chest, my heartbeat speeds up, and a knot forms in my throat. She's so...sexy. I want her to talk to me like that some more.... I turn my head away, blink hard, setting down my glass. What's wrong with me? Calm down.

She giggles, and I turn to see her watching me, her chin in her hand, elbow on her knee.

"You're so cute," she tells me.

That's something I should be saying, if either of us is gonna say it.... What's going on? It's as if we've switched roles--like I'm now the awkward girl fawning over the more normal girl.

"Uh...." I don't know what to say. What the fuck. Now I'm getting mad. I become severely irritated when uncomfortable.

"Aw, your face is red and you're all huffy. Did I embarrass you?"

When I turn to tell her off, she boops my nose. Freakin' BOOPS my NOSE. Well, how can I be mad now? She ruined it. Becky laughs, clearly aware of what she's done, and brushes part of my hair behind my ear. The hair thing is one of MY moves....

"Drink your tea and tell me what you've been up to," she tells me.

So I do just that, not sure what else to do.

~~~

Throughout the day, as Becky and I talk, we get closer and closer, learning about eachother and having a really good time. I'm surprised. When my phone notifies me of a received text, I gape at the screen.

"It's already eleven P.M.?! I missed three texts.... My sister is FREAKING out."

"Time flies." Becky plays with my hair, and I shiver. I see her smile out of the corner of my eye, and not in her usual sweet way. It's kind of turning me on.

I text Emma back as quickly as my fingers will type before pushing myself to my feet. "I gotta go."

She stands as well, but stands very close to me, looking me in the eye. "I don't want you to go."

"I don't wanna go, either." The response slipped past my lips without a thought, and I realize it's true. I want to stay here with her. But I can't. "I have to go, Emma's waiting for me."

"I understand," she says, taking a step back. The distance hurts, as if she's taking something away from me with that step. But she offers her hand a second later, and I smile. She leads me by the hand to the door, opens it, and we step outside.

"Can you come back tomorrow?"

"...I think so. If nothing comes up."

She smiles and squeezes my hand before letting go. "Let me know."

I feel shy at the next thing I want to say, and it takes me a moment. "Can I have your number?"

She smiles and nods, holding out a hand. I give her my phone, and she programs in her number. I feel the blush heating my face as I take back and pocket my cell. I look up to see her smiling in a new way...in this, warm, adoring way. I can't control what that smile makes me do. I lean in a press my lips to hers, feel her shudder and press close to me....

Aaand my phone rings. I pull back, blushing hotly as she just smiles. I lift the phone to my ear. "Hello?" I ask, unable to take my eyes off Becky's face.

"Hey, are you on your way?" Emma asks. "We need groceries."

"Yeah, yeah," I answer absently. "Be there soon."

"Great. BYEEEE."

We hang up, and I put away my phone.

"See you tomorrow?" Becky asks, and I nod without hesitation.

"Yes."

~~~

"Hey, where have you been?" Emma asks as she slides into the passenger seat of the Impala.

"Oh, I was with Becky," I answer casually, headed for the store. I can feel her staring at me. "WHAT?"

"You were with your stalker. All day."

I frown. "She's not a stalker. She's just enthusiastic is all. And she's nice."

"Uh-huh.... You sure she's safe?"

"Totally."

"Okay," she says in a tone which suggests that she does not believe it to be okay.

After a few minutes of silence, I say, "Sooo, hey. Wha'do'you think about taking a break? Staying here awhile." I glance over to see her staring with wide eyes.

"Really? YOU wanna take a BREAK?"

"Yeah. Why not. We deserve it."

"...What brought this on?"

"I dunno. Just feels right."

"...Okay. Sure. If it makes you happy, I'm good."

I smile and nod. "Great. It'll be great."

~~~

The next day, I go back to Becky's house, after sending a text to let her know I'll be there. As I pull into the driveway, next to a car that doesn't belong there, I see her on the porch with some girl. She's short, too skinny, with a bad tan and badly dyed hair. I get out of my car and walk up to them.

"Hey," I say, putting on a fake smile.

They turn to me, and Becky smiles brightly.

"Ivy," she says.

"Who's your friend?" I ask.

"This is Jessica."

"Hey, Jessica. You leaving?"

"Unfortunately, I have to go," she says, and smiles at Becky. "Bye, Becky."

"Later, Jess." As the girl leaves, Becky's hand brushes her arm. My stomach burns with an angry sort of hurt. As the ugly girl drives away in her lame car, Becky steps forward and wraps her arms around my waist. I start to relax, but I still feel standoffish.

"You said you didn't have any friends."

"I made a few recently. What do you think of her?"

I stare off to the right. "Her dye job is unfortunate. And her car is boring."

"Whoa. I happen to know that saying something is boring is a huge insult from the great Ivy Winchester."

I refuse to smile at her words. "You know me pretty well."

She presses closer to me. "You're not jealous, are you?"

"Why should I be? You can do whatever you want."

"...WHATEVER I want?"

"Yep."

"...What if that's you?"

I look at her now, surprised.

She just smiles at me and says, "Iced or hot tea today?"

~~~

Once again, the more time Becky and I spend together, the deeper I feel for the girl. Am I falling for her?

~~~

At the end of the third day spent with Becky, we're kissing on the front porch when a voice breaks through the blissful mist enveloping us.

"Ivy!"
I break away from Becky and turn my head to see my sister in the driveway. "Where did you get that car?"

"I borrowed it. What in the hell are you doing?"

"Minding my own business! And YOU are NOT!"

"Come on, follow me back to the motel."

"Emma--!"

"We gotta go, NOW!"

I sneer and turn to Becky. "See you tomorrow?"

She nods, looking amused. "See you then.". She pulls me in by my jacket and kisses me hard before letting go. "Goodnight."

Dazed and a bit dizzy, I mutter, "Night," and walk to my car.

~~~

"What in the fuck are you doing?" Emma demands, as we both get out of our cars in the motel parking lot.

Spreading my arms wide, I give her a less than respectful look. "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?"

"I find you making out with your stalker and you wonder why I'm upset?!"

"SHE'S NOT A STALKER!" I say, enunciating each word clearly and concisely, heading for the motel door.

"Did you expect to keep it a secret?" Emma asks, following me. "Did you forget we have trackers on eachother?"

"I didn't, actually. I just didn't think you'd spy on me like that," I reply, turning my head to give her a shaming look.

Emma looks down, and mutters, "I'm sorry. I was worried about you."

I sigh silently, shaking my head as I take the card key from my wallet.

We walk inside in silence. I toss my bag onto the couch and go to the kitchen area to heat up a bowl of pasta.

Emma stands watching me for awhile, before finally speaking up. "Okay, tell me about it."

I glance at her in mild surprise, and look back down at my food on the counter. "I went to hang out with her the day after the case was over. She's changed. She's still the same person, but...more refined. Classier. Mature. It was just supposed to be that one day, but, I kept going back. She listens when I talk, she has things to say in return. She takes the time to learn things about me, to make me comfortable and happy."

Emma takes a long time to respond. "It sounds like you love her."

Shock hits my system, I stare odd into space, lips parted slightly in a silent exhale. Do I love Becky? "...Maybe I do."

"...Wow."

"Yeah...wow."

~~~

I go back to Becky's the next day, and the girl welcomes me by pulling me inside and shutting the door hard.

I stare at her, holding up my hands in an instinctual defensive position. "Whoa, girl. Where's the fire?"

"I just...want to talk to you. We need to talk, don't you think?"

"Uh, yeah. Actually, yeah. There is something I need to tell you."

"Okay, come on." She pulls me toward the living room and we sit on the couch.

"So, um...I have something to tell you."

"You said that. Tell me."

I wonder at Becky's eagerness, but shrug it off and take her hands. "Becky, I really care about you."

She smiles brightly. "I really, REALLY care about you, too, Ivy. I hope you know that."

"Of course, you show me all the time."

Becky smiles and looks over at the table. "I made your tea."

"Oh, thanks, Becky. I'm always thirsty." I take a long drink before continuing.

"I know."

"So, um...Emma and I talked last night." I take hold of Becky's hand again, squeezing them both tightly. "We're thinking we might have to move on again soon."

Becky keeps calm, but the heartbreak is clear in her eyes.

"We're not sure yet. We haven't made a decision."

"Maybe, uh..." she starts, with a nervous smile, "maybe we should talk about it."

I nod. "Right. Yeah, what you say matters, too. So, um...what do you think?"

"...I think, you should do whatever makes you happy. If you're not happy here--"

"No! I-I am. I'm happy here. I love spending time with you."

Becky smiles. "You're upset. Drink your tea and calm down."

I nod. "Yeah, okay," I mutter, grabbing my glass. Only a fourth of the tall glass is gone, and I finish the rest quickly. Upon setting it down, I feel... different. Everything is tinted pink...the room spins....

"Ivy?" Becky's voice echoes.

"Beck--" I fall backward, my head hits a pillow.

"Ivy?"

~~~

I wake to Becky stroking my hair, pressing a damp cloth to my forehead and cheeks.

"Ivy, you're awake," she says softly. "How do you feel?"

"I feel...alright. I...." I'm so overwhelmed with adoration for this girl. How could I have even CONSIDERED leaving her? "I'm staying."

"What?"

"I'm staying with you. I'm not leaving."

Becky grins. "Really?"

"Really. Call Emma, tell her the news. I'm still kinda weak...."

"Oh, don't worry," she says, slowly rising up to swing a leg over my body, straddling me. "I'll take care of you now, and we'll call her later." Her hair hangs around my face like an apple-scented canopy, and her eyes suck me in....

"Take care if me forever," I breathe, and Becky chuckles softly.

"I will. Don't you worry." She kisses me, and it's hard and deep and all-consuming.

~~~
Emma was shocked by my decision, and about the fact that Becky was the one to call. But I really don't care. I deserve to be happy, right? Emma will come to accept it.

"You're so beautiful."

I blush, looking over at Becky. A movie is playing on the TV, but the girl's eyes are on me, her gaze reverent.

"You," I say, leaning toward her, "are lovely." Our lips connect, and I feel Becky shudder and sigh.

When we've broken apart, Becky touches my face. "Gorgeous."

I presses a shorter kiss to her lips.

"Fucking sexy."

I growl low in my throat, pulling Becky to straddle my lap before devouring her mouth. The girl doesn't cuss often, and so it's a real run-on when she does. I cover Becky's neck and collar in love bites, marking her as my own. Becky grinds and moans and gasps, and every sound is music to my ears. When the phone rings, I throw it out the open window.

"Ivy!" Becky gasps. "That was unlike you. What if--?"

"Shhh. Don't worry about it." My kiss effectively shuts the girl up, and I feel her grin. I'm sick of interruptions. Emma wouldn't hunt on her own, and she's safe in the warded motel room. How important could the call be?

~~~

Soon after Becky slips into her robe and leaves the bedroom to answer the door, I hear someone storming through the house and up the stairs. There's a pounding on the door before my sister's voice shouts through it.

"Ivy, you have twenty seconds to get dressed before I come in there!"

With a heavy sigh, I pull on the black silk robe Becky bought me and open the door. "Yes, Bim?"

"Don't you try to sound all nice 'n' shit! Why haven't you been answering your phone?!"

"It broke. I was gonna go get another one.... But, I told you I was gonna chill here for awhile, and you should stay in the warded motel room, where you're safe."

"So I stay locked up while you screw your stalker all day?"

My blood boils as I narrow my eyes at my sister. I speak calmly. "Call her that again and you won't be welcome here anymore. You and I both know that you're perfectly happy staying inside and doing all the things you like to do. So tell me what this is really about."

Emma looks down, taking a deep breath. "Can we talk alone?"

I glance at Becky over Emma's shoulder. She looks upset. Arms crossed, she nods, and goes downstairs.

"Okay, come in, sit down."

Emma sits in a chair by the window, and I sit on the footstool in front of her.

"Tell me what's wrong, come on," I tell her gently.

She sighs. "I don't trust Becky."

"Why not?"

"Because you're not acting normal."

"Since when has either of us been normal?"

"You know what I mean."

I run a hand down my face. "Bim, sometimes when you feel strongly for someone, it changes you."

"It makes you ignore your sister?"

Shaking my head, I say, "No. I won't do that again. I wasn't thinking, I guess. I'm sorry."

"...Okay."

"Can't you understand that I want some time alone with her? Just for a little while. Then we'll all hang out, okay?"

"...Alot?"

"Everyday if you want."

Emma smiles at that, and hugs me tightly. "Okay," she says quietly. I can try to be okay with Becky. If you promise to be careful."

"I promise," I say, holding her securely. "I love you, Bim-Bim."

"I love you, Ive-Ives."

~~~

I've spent a week alone with Becky, and it's been great. She's so attentive and observant, always aware of me and what I need or want. I swear, she can read my mind. Today, we are going to pick up Emma and go get breakfast.

"I've really thought about it," Becky says, as I drive, "and I think you and Emma should both live at my house."

I glance at her in amazement. "Really? You want Emma there?"

"Of course. You do; so I do, too. I want you happy."

I grin and chance a quick kiss before turning back to the road. "You're incredible." I can sense her smile. It's so bright, how could I not? Though my eyes are on the road and my hands are on the wheel, my other senses are always on her. I hear her singing to the radio, her happy sighs, I hear when she shuffles in her seat. I smell her hair and her fabric softener. She's so lovely.... I'm lucky to be hers. So lucky she found me.

~~~

At the diner, we tell Emma the news, but she doesn't seem excited....

"And if she didn't want me there?" she asks me.

"Then I wouldn't be there," I say without hesitation. "But Becky would never be so heartless, Bim."

"Of course not," Becky speaks up. "I love Ivy. And I know you two need to be together. So, I'm happy to have you there with us."

"...Well. Thanks, I guess."

I rub my face, feeling my anxiety seize me. When Emma's unhappy, she let's everyone know. And when Becky's unhappy...scary. Shit.

"Hey," Becky's gentle voice whispers as she strokes my arm. "Everything's okay. Don't worry. We'll all get along fine."

I smile at her, glad she's not miffed by Emma's attitude. She smiles back and turns to my sister.

"Right, Emma?"

"...I hope so."

Becky squeezes my quivering hand.

~~~

We move Emma's stuff into one of the bedrooms of the farmhouse, and she sits on the bed.

"We're going to order lunch," I tell her. "Wha'do'you want? Pizza? Chinese?"

"Uuum, both?"

I chuckle. "How about one for lunch, one for dinner?"

"Deal."

I give her the thumbs up before leaving the room.

Downstairs, Becky wraps her arms around my waist and kisses me sweetly. "Does she like the room?"

"She does," I lie. "Let's order lunch."

"Okay," she chirps, and pecks my lips before rushing over to the takeout menus.

I chuckle, watching her fondly.

~~~

Things go pretty well in the weeks that follow, once the whole awkward phase is over. But after about two and a half months, the pleasantness stops.

"Ivy!"

At the sound of Becky's distressed cry, I run to her aid. I find Becky and my sister in the kitchen. Emma is advancing on her, and Becky is backing up slowly, eyed wide with terror. I dart forward and grab Emma, restraining her.

"Bim, what the hell?!" my voice booms.

"She was putting something in your tea!"

I look up at Becky questioningly, surprised at the accusation.

She bites her lip, wringing her hands. "Ivy, I...."

"Is that true?"

"...Yes."

"You admit it!" Emma cries, struggling to get free so she can get to her.

"Beck...?"

"You said you've been having trouble sleeping. I was putting soothing herbs in your tea."

"Bullshit!" Emma spits.

"Bim!" I shout scornfully.

My sister goes quiet and still, and I rest my head on top of hers for a moment before speaking to Becky.

"Herbs?"

"Yeah, that's all."

"Can I see them?"

"Yeah, of course," she says quickly, pulling a plastic bag from her apron pocket and holding it out to me.

I let go of my sister and walk across the room to take the bag from her. Reading the label, I discover that she's telling the truth. I turn around, and just look at Emma. She stares back at me, something between indignance and resignation in her eyes. I hold up the bag. Neither of us say anything. I set the herbs on the counter and walk out.

When Becky doesn't follow me, I call, "Forget the tea, Beck," and I hear her come up the stairs. Once she's inside the bedroom, I shut the door, ready to grovel for my sister.

~~~

Becky was really upset, but I managed to calm her down. I may have also done a few favours for her that night, if you know what I mean.

Today, I'm going to talk to Emma about this paranoia of hers. I knock on her door, and when she doesn't answer, I open it and walk in.

"I didn't say to come in," she mutters from her cross-legged seat on her bed.

"Well, I'm the boss." I sit on the bed in front of her. "Bim, we gotta talk. You can't keep going off on me and Becky."

"...It wasn't herbs, Ivy. I know it. And I know that if you weren't under whatever spell she's put on you, you'd believe me. So, I'm not mad at you." She looks up at me, her gaze determined. "I'm gonna save you from her. I promise."

I blink at her, not sure what to say. So I hand her one of the two beers I'm holding, and leave the room. "Come down for breakfast if you're hungry," I say before shutting the door.

~~~

Emma didn't come down for breakfast. She didn't come down for lunch. So I take her a plate at dinner, when Becky's in the bathroom and can't see what I'm doing. The girl is so sweet and loving, but when she's mad.... I shake my head and hurry back downstairs, not wanting to get caught. A glass of tea waits for me on the kitchen table by my plate, and I smile.

~~~

That night, I'm awoken by someone pulling me out of bed, clamping a hand over my mouth and restraining me. I blink, and find myself in a whole different place. The person holding onto me drops me onto the bed of the motel room, and I roll over to see Castiel and Emma standing above me.

"What the fuck!" I shout.

"Emma informed me of your odd behaviour, so I looked into the situation. Becky Rosen has been using love potions on you in varied doses. She has also used pheromones on you at least once."

"...WHAT? Have you two lost your minds?!"

His eyes narrow. "I know that your question is rhetorical, Ivy."

"Take me back to Becky, Castiel."

"I can't do that, Ivy."

"Why not?!"

"Because you are my best friend and I am going to help you. You'll see that we are right about this when the effects wear off."

I turn from anger to desperation. "Okay, Emma, I'm sorry. I know, I've been different lately, but we'll do what you want okay? We'll hang out more without Becky, like you wanted."

She shakes her head. Her face is hard, but there's pain in her eyes. "We're serious about this, Ivy. She really is using love potions, and we have to get it out if your system."

"Guys, come on. I don't believe this."

"I'm not going to do anything to her now. I'm going to wait until you're in your right mind, and then you can decide what to do with her. I'll do that for you." She turns and heads for the door. "I'm going to get food. Cas will stay with you."

"Emma! You can't do this, come on!"

She leaves, and Castiel sits in the chair near the bed.

"Cas, man, listen--"

"Ivy, don't. You are not well. You are not capable of seeing reason at this moment."

Sighing heavily in frustration, I lean back, running both hands through my hair. "God, I can't believe this."

He ignores me.

~~~

The next few days were...difficult, to say the least. Neither of them said a word to me until the fourth day. Castiel speaks to me while Emma goes out again.

"You seem more calm today."

I don't respond.

"You were extremely distraught because you couldn't stand to be away from Becky, correct?"

"...Well, yeah. I love her. She must be so scared that I'm not there."

"Think, Ivy. Is it normal for you to be so anxiety-ridden over this?"

"...I...I don't know."

"Is it normal for you to be so obsessed with her, for you to be so subservient to someone like her?"

"I'm not--"

"Think."

I do think. I think hard. I AM kind of like that with her I guess.... "But that's because she's special."

"She is a puny girl who was recently treating you the way you are now treating her. You held the power, and now she does."

"That's not--"

"She was a crazed fan. You were a hero, a powerful hunter. What are you now?"

I'm beginning to feel angry.

"Tell me what you are now."

"...I'm...."

"You're Becky Rosen's pet."

I sit up straight. "I'm not."

"You are."

"Fuck no, I'm not!"

"Becky has the power now. You have nothing."

"Stop, Castiel," I say in warning.

"She owns you."

I shoot to my feet, glaring at him with righteous indignation. "Shut the fuck up!"

"What are you?" he asks again, raising his voice.

"I'm Ivy Winchester! I'm Emma's big sister! I'm the best goddamn hunter there is! And I ain't no one's pet!" I kick the trash can across the room to punctuate the last word.

A smile curls his lips as he looks up at me. I stand breathing hard, rage fueling my will.

"What the fuck did she do to me."

"She used love potions in varied doses," he answers, and I vaguely remember him saying the same thing the night they brought me here. "Small doses at that, so you would fall gradually." He pauses, appraising me. "You need to calm yourself. You may be furious now, but you would regret hurting her. So, relax. And then I will take you wherever you want to go."

I take deep, cleaning breaths until the angel deems me calm enough to leave the motel. I ask him to take me to Becky. He takes my hand, and we appear in the farmhouse's kitchen. Becky jumps at our arrival, and looks at us, a hand pressed to her chest.

"Ivy? Ivy, where have you been?!"

I pat Castiel's arm. "Thanks, friend. You can go. I'll be alright."

He squeezes my hand before letting go and teleporting from the kitchen. I stay where I am, and Becky is wise enough to stay where she is.

"...Ivy...what's going on?" But she knows what's going on. Of course she does. I haven't been here for her to drug me.

I stare long and hard at her, watching her sweat and gulp and squirm. "You wanna try that again?" I finally say.

"...I'm sorry." She looks desperate. She's always looked desperate, except for that short time she had me wrapped up in her web.

"You're sorry."

"I'm so sorry, Ivy."

"...God, Becky. I came here to do a kindness. I came here to see someone who I enjoyed talking with, who I believed to be a sweet girl with a big heart who just needed to be acknowledged. And you betrayed me. You fucked with someone who just wanted to be kind to you. No wonder no one ever tried with you before."

"Ivy...you're right, I know you are," she says brokenly. "I messed up. I went crazy. I don't know what came over me."

"Damn right, you messed up. Know what really just blows my fucking mind, Becky? That you read all the books. And you listened to me talk. And you KNEW.... You KNEW nearly every little thing about me. And you used the one thing I hate more than anything in this world against me, to fuck with my mind, to change me, to hurt me! You used magic on me, Becky. How could you do something like that? How?!"

Becky crumbles now, sinking to her knees. "Ivy," she sobs. "Ivy, I'm sorry. I-I wanted to stop, but it got out of control. But, the pheromones and the potion only made stronger what you already felt. It was real."

"That couldn't be, Becky. Because I would never feel anything even CLOSE to what those things made me feel for you."

"Ivy, don't say that. I-I love you."

"Lo--.... You don't LOVE me, Becky! People in love don't do shit like this! You're not in love! You're OBSESSED!" I walk to the door, open it, and step outside. "And now, you're alone." I slam the door shut and stride down the stairs and to the end of the driveway.

Castiel appears at my side. He's always there, though.

"Text me the address of the motel so I can get back to Emma. And make sure Becky doesn't hurt herself."

"Do not worry, Ivy. I will not fail."

"Thank you, Cas." I pat his shoulder before getting into the Impala and revving the engine. God...I haven't REALLY driven my car in so long.... "Time to burn rubber, bitches," I say before doing a few donuts through Becky's yard and speeding away.

~~~

Emma and I start hunting again. Every time I wake from a nightmare, I reach for Becky. When I remember that she's not there, I curl into a ball and try to keep myself from breaking apart.

The daylight makes it easier to hold the pieces of myself together, but I'm convinced that people can see the cracks.

"Ivy, Chuck says he needs us. There's a problem at one of his conventions."

"Seriously?" There's not a doubt in my mind that Becky will be at that convention.

She looks down, kicking idly at the floor. "We don't have to go. We can call other hunters...." She looks guilty for even bringing it up. But I don't blame her. I wouldn't want her to keep things from me, to shield me from information just because it might hurt.

"Whatever," I say, standing up from the couch and placing my book in my backpack. "We can handle it."

"Are you--?"

"Let's go," I cut her off, already headed out the door with both packed duffles.

~~~

As we finish up the case at Chuck's convention, as we're just about to leave, I hear her.

"Chuck, did they take care of it?" she asks, sounding out of breath as she runs up to him.

I turn around, even as Emma grabs my arm to keep me from doing so. Our eyes meet, and it's clear that she didn't notice us over here in the dark when she approached. Her stare holds shock and fear and yearning. I keep my expression schooled into cool indifference.

"Ivy...."

I hate that damn reverent tone of hers. "Hey, Becky. What's up?" I'm proud of how controlled my voice is, how uninterested I sound.

"...So, you took care of the ghosts, huh?"

"Yup. Nothin' left to worry about."

"Our hero." She said it in such a pleasant, casual way, she almost didn't sound like Becky. "You always get the job done."

I turn to Chuck. "Well, see ya around." I turn to leave with Emma, and I feel my sister's worried gaze. We get into the Impala, I crank the radio, and leave these assholes in my dust.

~~~

The pain and the yearning for that bitch has intensified since seeing her at the convention. A few times a day, I have to stop walking and lean over to clutch at my chest as the pain steals the breath from me. I toss and turn more at night, cry more, pray more. I've awoken to find Castiel in my room a few times in the past month, his fists clenched and a storm in his eyes. I hate to worry him so much. I think I'm pretty strong for Emma during the day, but I know she can hear me at night, by the looks she tries to not give me into he morning.

By the end of the fifth week since the convention, I'm desperate. "Cas, what is this?" I ask from my seat on the lone chair in our latest motel room. "Why won't these feelings go away? I still want her, but I hate her!"

He rubs his chin in thought. "So, we know it's not the potion, obviously...."

"What about a hex bag? I hadn't even though if that 'til now...."

"Ivy. Perhaps magic is not the cause of your pain."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...maybe you're really just hurting over what happened. She made you feel things, and some of them were real, such as the sense of companionship, the trust, and the betrayal."

"...You really think that's it?" I ask, looking down at the floor.

"I do." After a few beats, he adds, "I could scan your mind. I know you hate that, but--"

"No, Cas, go ahead. I'm so damn confused, I need to know for sure."

With a nod, he touches my head. A moment later, he nods again, lowering his hand. "I was correct."

Sighing, I rub my face with both hands. "Okay," I say, rubbing my hands together and pressing them together in front of me. "Okay, I can figure this out. I can handle this."

"Is there anything I can do?"

I give him a small smile. "I'll let ya know. Thanks, Cas."

~~~

The next day, after leaving Emma a note letting her know that I'll be back in a couple days at least, I leave for my little trip.

~~~

Pulling up to the white farmhouse, I already feel a small bit of comfort settle over me. I get out of the car and take long strides to the door, determined to go through with my plan. I open the door without knocking and walk in, shutting it behind me. Becky rushes into the kitchen with a gun. Seeing that it's only me, she slowly sets the weapon on the counter, stunned.

"Ivy?"

"Hey, Becky." I'm in charge. I'M in charge.

"What are you doing here?"

"You really hurt me."

Sadness fills her eyes.

"I trusted you, and I felt close to you. And I found out it wasn't real, and it hurts."

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"I can't get it out of my head, so I have to fix that."

"...How?"

Taking off my messenger bag and setting it on the table, I answer, "I'm gonna get you outta my system." I see realization light her eyes.

"You want to...?"

"One more time. I think it'll work." Brow raised, I ask, "You up for it?" I see the pain overwhelming her, and I take satisfaction in that. She SHOULD be the one overwhelmed for once.

"I could never turn you away, Ivy." She takes a step toward me, and I lift a hand, stopping her.

"NO. This time, I'm in charge. YOU do what I say." I know that she knows what I mean. She's not gonna be the boss in the bedroom this time. I'm not gonna be her pet. Today, SHE belongs to ME. I jerk my head in the direction of the stairs. "Bedroom. Now."

She turns and runs upstairs, and I follow at a leisurely pace.

As I rip open her shirt, causing buttons to fly everywhere, I think about how I'm finally taking back my power. I'm finally taking back my pride. "You took my dignity," I hiss quietly, throwing her into the bed. I jerk the skirt from her hips and drag the underwear down her legs with my teeth, watching her shudder, hearing her gasp. I crawl up her body and nuzzle her neck. "You took my free will." I bite her neck harshly, hear her suck in a breath. I trail hungry kisses along her jaw, neck and collar, enjoy the quickening of her breath. Once she's worked up to my satisfaction, I whisper into her ear, "I'm going to make you love me. REALLY love me. I'm going to make you want nothing but me. You'll never be able to stop thinking about me. You'll DREAM about me." I smile at the feel of her quivering form. I slide my fingers inside her, and their thrusts punctuate my last three words. "And I'll forget all, about, you."

~~~

I made love to her, and I know I succeeded in leaving my mark on her heart. I hope she hurts like I've hurt. I stretch out an arm and say in an indifferent tone, "C'mere. I'll hold you 'til I have to leave."

She crawls into my arms, and I stay with her for a few hours before slipping out. I keep the engine quiet as I drive away from the farmhouse, the radio off until I'm a good ways away, so as not to wake her. I hope that, when she does wake, she reaches for me.

When I'm a few minutes away from the farmhouse, I turn the radio up high, and I smile to myself as I drive in the dark, feeling like I finally have closure.