A Place of Hope and No Pain

Chloe's POV

"So, how's it all going Chloe?" Clay asked me after we'd gotten something to eat and went back outside to sit at one of the tables. "I feel like we've hardly seen each other."

"Because we haven't really seen each other." I said picking at my salad.

"Yeah I'm pretty sure Bruce fucked with the timetables this time."

I nodded. "Yeah I think he did."

I know he did. He knew Clay and I were friends, he knew we often vented to each other, relied on each other and Clay was right, Bruce was trying to keep us apart.

"But I think we have group together tomorrow." Clay said smiling at me and popping a fry into his mouth.

"Well that's something to look forward to." I added, smiling back.

"It is." He said. "So, how's it all going anyway, with Matt?"

I nodded. "Pretty good." I said softly, looking over his left shoulder.

I could see Matt and his family, laughing and talking. Sometime while Clay and I were inside getting food his parents had arrived and now they were all sitting around a table together. Matt looked happy and I was glad. It was nice to see him smile and his face absolutely lit up every time he looked at his boy's.

"So I heard you had a little trouble?" Clay asked me.

I dragged my eye's away from the happy family. "Um, maybe." I mumbled, wondering which event he was referring too.

"He really choked you?" He asked, leaning forward, looking at me.

"Well I wouldn't say that." I said quickly, only I would say that, because let's be honest, he did choke me.

"What happened Chloe and why didn't you have your alarm?" He asked, frowning.

"I'd rather not talk about it." I said, my tone sounding harsh. "I mean it's confidential, how the fuck it got out I'll never know and well as for my alarm, I got lazy."

"Lazy." He chuckled.

I put my hand in my pocket, pulling out my alarm. "I have it all the time now though."

Clay laughed. "Good, I'm glad."

"So how's things going with you?" I asked him, pushing my salad away. I wasn't feeling very hungry today.

"Good actually." Clay said smiling. "Carmen, she's a sweetheart."

"Oh?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows. There was something in his tone of voice that set off an alarm.

"Yeah, she's done it tough." He explained. "For a long time, I'm really proud of how well she's doing."

"Isn't she like Forty?" I asked him, looking him straight in the eye's.

"Yeah so?" He asked me, looking a little perplexed. "That's hardly old Chloe."

"Oh yeah." I added quickly. "I'm not saying it is, I just........Clay, you're not catching the feels are you?"

Catching the feels was an expression Clay and I had used ever since a few years ago one of the counsellors had ended up marrying her client. She of course got fired, but she'd caught the feel's so she didn't really give a flying fuck.

"What." He snapped. "NO."

His reply was quick, a little too quick and I was pretty sure Clay was catching the feels.

"What's her name again?" I asked softly, trying to put him at ease. I was his friend, if he fell in love with someone I'd be happy for him no matter who she was. I'd just be pissed because he wouldn't be working with me anymore.

"Carmen."

Oh yeah, the way he'd said her name, it was a dead give away.

"So where's Carmen now?" I asked him, taking a mouthful of my coffee.

"Visiting with her husband." He said flatly.

Okay, time for a subject change and I wracked my brain, trying to think of something to say.

"So what's he like?" Clay asked. "Besides brutal."

I rolled my eye's. "He's not brutal." I muttered, stealing another glance at Matt. Now they were all kicking a ball around, well except for his wife. "He's actually really nice."

Clay nodded. "Yeah I figured he would be." He told me. "Unlike that dick Carrie is stuck with."

I cringed at the mere thought of Jerry. So far I'd managed to avoid him since the dining room incident, but I knew this week I was likely to see him in group and I wasn't looking forward to it.

"Watch out." Someone suddenly called and before I could react a ball landed right in the middle of my untouched salad, lettuce and dressing flying everywhere, including all over me.

"Oh shit sorry." Matt huffed, running over to us and retrieving his ball.

I shrugged. "I was finished anyway." And I was.

"Yeah but still." Matt added.

"Daddy." His youngest Jaxson called, running over to him.

Matt scooped him into his arm's. "Be careful where you kick the ball buddy." Matt told him.

Jaxson looked at me with his father's eye's and smiled. "Hi Chloe." He giggled.

I smiled back at him. "Hi."

"Come on." Matt chuckled, turning back to his family. "Sorry to have disturbed you two."

I watched him walk away and I watched as Jaxson peered over his shoulder at me, waving. I waved back to him, smiling.

"Well I guess our lunch is ruined." Clay said sounding a little bothered.

I stood up, cleaning the mess. "I guess."

"We could go for a walk?" Clay suggested and I realised he was trying to keep busy, because now I knew without a doubt, he had feelings for Carmen and the thought of her with her husband was driving him insane.

I shrugged. "I wouldn't mind catching up on some sleep." I told him, picking up our plates. "Matt isn't really a sleeper."

"Cool." Clay said, grabbing the dishes off me. "We can hang in your room, watch a movie or something."

"Okay." I said turning towards the door. Watching a movie with Clay was better than sitting around thinking about how I had no one who could be bothered to visit me.

He grinned and slipped his arm back around my shoulder as we headed back inside. I noted on our way that Carmen was watching us and I wondered if maybe she felt the same way about Clay as he felt about her.

Damn, that would be a monumental fuck up and I sincerely hoped they weren't sleeping together.

I couldn't understand how anyone could fall for their partner. We were here to guide them, to be there for them, not fall in love with them.

Falling in love was a big no no. Besides love was overrated anyway.

I stopped what I was doing and looked directly at Clay.

"Didn't Marcus have Carmen?" I asked frowning because I swear to fuck he did.

I loved the double standards in this place. Matt could almost kill me but I couldn't change partners, but somewhere along the way Marcus and Clay had changed.

I was tired and done, with everybody.