A Place of Hope and No Pain
Chapter 2
Matt's POV
"Matthew." My Mother yelled down the hall. "Are you ready?"
"Give me a sec." I called back. "I need the bathroom."
"Your Father can put your stuff in the car." She called out.
"Whatever." I mumbled to myself, walking up the hall to the bathroom.
I closed and locked the door behind myself and made my way over to the laundry hamper, digging around until I found what I was looking for.
"There you are." I whispered, removing the lid off the bottle of Vodka, putting it to my lips and taking a long, needed drink.
It tasted like absolute crap, but it was what I needed, I craved the feeling of it burning my throat, but more importantly, I craved the feeling it always gave me. That feeling that everything will be alright.
"Yeah right." I muttered, draining the bottle. "Everything is just fucking perfect."
I put the lid back on the empty bottle and hid it back in the laundry hamper. I could throw it away when I came back home, in twelve fucking weeks.
I sighed, I needed to do this, for my family. The kids who'd I let down so many times I'd lost count and for my wife, my wife whom two months ago, packed up her stuff and the kids and left me.
"I just can't do it anymore." She'd told me. "Watch you kill yourself."
That was my wake up call and the night she left I began organising it. I needed my family back and to do that I needed rehab.
I researched facilities and finally I found the place that was perfect.
It was in the middle of fucking nowhere and that's where we were heading now. Four hours drive away, to a secluded compound where I would spend twelve weeks dealing with my problems and becoming sober.
God, I couldn't remember the last time I was sober, I'd been drunk for so long now. I was drunk the day I got married. I was drunk the day both of my children were born, really I was always drunk, it's who I was.
The trip up was pretty silent. My parents had nothing to say, they'd said it all on numerous occasions, but at least I had their support. When I came to them with this idea they were ecstatic and more than happy to help me.
"Well this is it." Dad announced as we turned into a long drive.
I looked around, and yeah, we were pretty much in the middle of nowhere. There wasn't another house in sight, there wasn't another anything in sight, for miles and miles.
I looked at the house I would be staying in for twelve weeks. It was big, actually it was huge and I guessed it had to be, there were twelve of us doing this as well as the counsellors.
I sat back as Dad parked the car and I took a deep breath before opening the door and climbing out.
I looked around inconspicuously and took a deep breath. God the air was so clean and fresh, it smelt so fucking good.
"Here." Dad said, handing me my bags. "Let's go inside."
I nodded and grabbed the bag, following him and Mom inside to a room where a few other people were already sitting down and waiting.
I figured they were the other people who would be staying here for the twelve weeks. How did I know? It was easy, they looked as bad as I knew I did. That dead look in their eye's, worrying about when and where they were going to get their next drink or hit.
No more, I was here to change all of that and I was determined to see it through.
We sat there for awhile, well until everyone arrived and then a man came in, introducing himself as Bruce.
He told us a little about the place and then gave us a tour. It really was a nice place and I hoped my time here would be good and I'd achieve what I wanted, to leave sober for my wife and children.
"Ok." Bruce announced. "It's time to say goodbye to your family, then we'll head up to the main house and you can meet your partner in crime for the next twelve weeks."
I stood up, following Mom and Dad outside.
"Well." Mom said, hugging me. "We will be up in a few weeks to see you."
I nodded. We weren't allowed visitors until the fourth week, so until then, I was on my own.
"Try and bring the kids." I said softly, hoping more than anything that Lucy would let Mom and Dad bring the kids up to see me, and I was kind of hoping Lucy, my wife, might want to come and see me too, after all I was doing this for her, for the kids, for us.
"I'll do my best." Mom said, kissing my cheek. "Now go, make us proud."
She wiped her face and climbed into the car. I felt bad, bad for everything I'd put my parents through, but here they were, supporting me again, even after I'd let them down a million times.
"You take care." Dad said shaking my hand. "And Son, you can do this, you've already taken the first step just by coming here."
I nodded, he was right, the first step was finally admitting I had a problem, finally admitting to myself that this wasn't social drinking, I was actually an alcoholic.
"I know." I mumbled as he got into the car.
I swallowed as he started it. I felt like crying, watching my parents drive away was making me feel like a child again and as they drove down the drive I realised I was alone, I had nobody.
"Okay." Bruce announced. "Grab your bags, I'll take you to your room, then you can meet your room mate."
Yet another part of this program I admired, a counsellor, on call, 24 hours a day. They actually stayed in an adjoining room and at any time, day or night, they were available to you. It was something I knew I would need, especially around 4am, when things usually got really bad for me.
Well, I thought as I walked into my room, hopefully my counsellor was a nice guy, hopefully he'd help me and hopefully, in exactly twelve weeks time I'd walk out of here sober and go back to my home, back to my wife and children, where I belonged.
"Matthew." My Mother yelled down the hall. "Are you ready?"
"Give me a sec." I called back. "I need the bathroom."
"Your Father can put your stuff in the car." She called out.
"Whatever." I mumbled to myself, walking up the hall to the bathroom.
I closed and locked the door behind myself and made my way over to the laundry hamper, digging around until I found what I was looking for.
"There you are." I whispered, removing the lid off the bottle of Vodka, putting it to my lips and taking a long, needed drink.
It tasted like absolute crap, but it was what I needed, I craved the feeling of it burning my throat, but more importantly, I craved the feeling it always gave me. That feeling that everything will be alright.
"Yeah right." I muttered, draining the bottle. "Everything is just fucking perfect."
I put the lid back on the empty bottle and hid it back in the laundry hamper. I could throw it away when I came back home, in twelve fucking weeks.
I sighed, I needed to do this, for my family. The kids who'd I let down so many times I'd lost count and for my wife, my wife whom two months ago, packed up her stuff and the kids and left me.
"I just can't do it anymore." She'd told me. "Watch you kill yourself."
That was my wake up call and the night she left I began organising it. I needed my family back and to do that I needed rehab.
I researched facilities and finally I found the place that was perfect.
It was in the middle of fucking nowhere and that's where we were heading now. Four hours drive away, to a secluded compound where I would spend twelve weeks dealing with my problems and becoming sober.
God, I couldn't remember the last time I was sober, I'd been drunk for so long now. I was drunk the day I got married. I was drunk the day both of my children were born, really I was always drunk, it's who I was.
The trip up was pretty silent. My parents had nothing to say, they'd said it all on numerous occasions, but at least I had their support. When I came to them with this idea they were ecstatic and more than happy to help me.
"Well this is it." Dad announced as we turned into a long drive.
I looked around, and yeah, we were pretty much in the middle of nowhere. There wasn't another house in sight, there wasn't another anything in sight, for miles and miles.
I looked at the house I would be staying in for twelve weeks. It was big, actually it was huge and I guessed it had to be, there were twelve of us doing this as well as the counsellors.
I sat back as Dad parked the car and I took a deep breath before opening the door and climbing out.
I looked around inconspicuously and took a deep breath. God the air was so clean and fresh, it smelt so fucking good.
"Here." Dad said, handing me my bags. "Let's go inside."
I nodded and grabbed the bag, following him and Mom inside to a room where a few other people were already sitting down and waiting.
I figured they were the other people who would be staying here for the twelve weeks. How did I know? It was easy, they looked as bad as I knew I did. That dead look in their eye's, worrying about when and where they were going to get their next drink or hit.
No more, I was here to change all of that and I was determined to see it through.
We sat there for awhile, well until everyone arrived and then a man came in, introducing himself as Bruce.
He told us a little about the place and then gave us a tour. It really was a nice place and I hoped my time here would be good and I'd achieve what I wanted, to leave sober for my wife and children.
"Ok." Bruce announced. "It's time to say goodbye to your family, then we'll head up to the main house and you can meet your partner in crime for the next twelve weeks."
I stood up, following Mom and Dad outside.
"Well." Mom said, hugging me. "We will be up in a few weeks to see you."
I nodded. We weren't allowed visitors until the fourth week, so until then, I was on my own.
"Try and bring the kids." I said softly, hoping more than anything that Lucy would let Mom and Dad bring the kids up to see me, and I was kind of hoping Lucy, my wife, might want to come and see me too, after all I was doing this for her, for the kids, for us.
"I'll do my best." Mom said, kissing my cheek. "Now go, make us proud."
She wiped her face and climbed into the car. I felt bad, bad for everything I'd put my parents through, but here they were, supporting me again, even after I'd let them down a million times.
"You take care." Dad said shaking my hand. "And Son, you can do this, you've already taken the first step just by coming here."
I nodded, he was right, the first step was finally admitting I had a problem, finally admitting to myself that this wasn't social drinking, I was actually an alcoholic.
"I know." I mumbled as he got into the car.
I swallowed as he started it. I felt like crying, watching my parents drive away was making me feel like a child again and as they drove down the drive I realised I was alone, I had nobody.
"Okay." Bruce announced. "Grab your bags, I'll take you to your room, then you can meet your room mate."
Yet another part of this program I admired, a counsellor, on call, 24 hours a day. They actually stayed in an adjoining room and at any time, day or night, they were available to you. It was something I knew I would need, especially around 4am, when things usually got really bad for me.
Well, I thought as I walked into my room, hopefully my counsellor was a nice guy, hopefully he'd help me and hopefully, in exactly twelve weeks time I'd walk out of here sober and go back to my home, back to my wife and children, where I belonged.