A Place of Hope and No Pain

Matt's POV

"So are you sure you're ready to do this?" Brian asked me yet again.

I looked at him. Today was the day, it was concert day. I'd been sober for nearly five months, I was feeling great, so yeah, I think I was ready.

"I'm more than ready." I told him excitedly.

"The set list." He said, glancing down at it one more time.

"Yep." I told him. "It's good, I wanted a challenge you know." And I did, I wanted to challenge myself tonight and I wanted to succeed.

"Fuck yes." He said smiling. "I cannot wait."

I returned his smile and he walked away. The set list was different from what we usually did and I knew everyone was looking forward to it.

I groaned, even Lucy was looking forward to it. She assumed I chose some songs because of her, they were our song's, but honestly I'd forgotten about that, but never mind, she'd reminded and now it was all she was rambling on about, about how I was singing her her songs.

"Daddy?" Jaxson called, suddenly making an appearance.

"Yes?" I asked him, picking him up.

"Where's Chloe?" He asked me softly.

I smiled, I couldn't help it. When I'd told everyone Chloe was coming tonight, to support me, Jaxson had been so damned excited, he loved her, and the other's had been excited as well, finally getting to meet her, well except Lucy, but I wasn't surprised. She'd acted like a bitch when I told her, but when didn't she act like a bitch.

"Hopefully she'll be here soon." I told him kissing his nose.

I hoped she would be here soon. I'd given her directions, told her who to see at the gate, so now I was just waiting for her and I hoped she wasn't long, thing's were getting close to kicking off.

"Hey Matt." One of the roadies called out. "Can you look at this."

I was happy for the distraction, so I wandered over, listening as he explained to me what the problem was. It was easily sorted and as we finished I turned around and stopped.

Chloe was here and my chest fluttered a little at the sight of her. She had on jeans and a nice top and god, she looked really good. Tired, she looked tired, but she really did look good.

I smiled watching her with Jaxson. I wasn't sure why Jaxson had such a big thing for Chloe, but he did and I watched him sprinkle her face with kisses. Maybe it was because Jaxson was a lot like me, in everything, looks mannerism and obviously in choosing friends.

I grabbed the boy's ear muffs and headed over to them. They were with Lucy and Dani and I was glad to see Dani was talking to Chloe. Lucy however was trying to ignore her existence and that pissed me off a little.

We made our way to side stage as the other band came on and I tried to watch, to concentrate but I couldn't, I was to aware of Chloe, next to me, smiling, then grimacing along with the music. God what if she didn't like us? That thought had never crossed my mind, that Chloe might not actually like our music.

I tried to tell myself it didn't matter if she didn't, we were only friends, but as I was getting ready to go on stage I realised it did matter, it mattered a lot to me, probably way more than it should have, considering we were only friends.

"You okay?" Brian asked and I nodded. "Well let's do this."

I nodded again, yep, let's do this, I was more than ready.

We headed to the side stage and I looked over at Chloe, smiling at the sight of my son on her son lap.

"I'm so proud." Lucy announced, wrapping her arm's around me and kissing me. "You've made me so proud Matthew."

I sort of hugged her back, glancing at Chloe.

Chloe smiled at me, mouthing good luck to me. Why did that make me feel better than my own wife hugging me, kissing me?

I didn't have to time to ponder over that, it was time and god, it felt like I was home, running onto the stage.

Was it different being sober? Hell yeah it was, it was better, better than I'd ever imagined and everyday I came to realise that getting sober had been the best decision I'd ever made.

I enjoyed myself and I couldn't help but glance side stage at Chloe a few times through out the show. It was a huge relief to see her smiling, holding my youngest and smiling. Lucy however assumed I was looking at her and kept blowing me kisses.

I ignored her, at this point in my life I just wasn't sure where I stood with Lucy or how I felt about her. I was trying, trying to get my marriage back, I just wasn't sure that that was what I wanted anymore.

The show finished with a bang and we ran off stage, slapping each other on the back.

"Congratulations." Lucy shrieked, throwing herself into my arm's. "It was perfect."

"Yeah it was." I muttered, looking over at Chloe, who stood up, still clutching Jaxson. "So." I said to her. "What did you think?"

She smiled her smile. "I loved it Matt, honestly."

"And Seize The Day was perfect baby." Lucy cried, butting in. "God, Chloe, you'll have to come to the after party I organised."

I stopped, looking at her. A party? Was she fucking serious?

"Yeah um." Chloe muttered, looking uncomfortable. "I might have to give that a miss."

I frowned, grabbing Lucy by the arm and dragging her off to the side.

"Are you serious?" I snapped at her. "You organised a party and actually thought that I would attend?"

"Well yes." She said smiling at me. "You've done so well, I thought you deserved a drink."

She thought I deserved a drink? Was she fucking serious?

"Yeah Lucy look." I snapped. "I'm not coming to your party."

How could someone be so insensitive? After treatment I questioned my thoughts on everything, on how I ended up an alcoholic, I'd blamed it on Lucy, but maybe I'd been wrong. Now I knew I wasn't wrong, she had fed my addiction and she was still trying to do it.

I walked away, fuming.

"Matt." Dani called out, waving to me. "What are you doing now?"

"Well I'm not going to that fucking party." I snapped. I was so fucking angry.

"Yeah neither are Brian and I." She said, half smiling. "He's cut down, well because of you and well, we were thinking of going and getting an ice cream."

"Actually an ice cream sounds fucking delicious at this point." I told her and hell I knew I needed to calm down, an ice cream would cool me down..

"Chloe seems a nice girl." She added. "You should see if she want's to come."

I smiled at Danielle. Of course she was right, I should see if Chloe wanted to come get an ice cream.

I laughed at myself, walking over to Chloe, what had I become? I'd gone from a raging alcoholic, to getting ice cream's after a show.

I liked it, I liked this new me and as Chloe looked at me smiling, I realised I liked it more because of her, she was the real reason I was staying sober. Chloe and my kids.