A Place of Hope and No Pain

Matt's POV

The place was nice, I wasn't going to lie. The rooms were nice, I had loads of room, Chloe seemed nice, although I was a bit shocked they paired me with a female, but I guess they knew what they were doing, and it had a gym, I really needed the gym.

Fuck. I needed a drink.

That was why I needed a gym. I'd decided that every time I wanted a drink I would go to the gym.

So, here I was, I'd barely been here two hours and already I was in the gym. Chloe was with me, which was good, she appeared as though she worked out too, so here we were, both in the gym.

I ran and ran and ran, trying to outrun the thirst I had. All I wanted was a drink of something, anything and I knew I'd feel better after a little drink.

I ran until my legs felt like jelly and then I stopped, noticing Chloe doing some weights.

I walked over and joined her. Fuck, I really needed a drink and it didn't help when she brought up when I'd last had a drink, it only made my thirst worse.

Saying I hid my alcohol in my laundry hamper was embarrassing for me. What had I become? Hiding my alcohol, drinking first thing in the morning.

I shook my head, it didn't matter now, that's why I was here, to fix this mess that was my life.

Chloe seemed to know a lot about my problem, hell she knew my favourite hiding places, but what she said next shocked me, yet it made perfect sense.

"Because." She said softly. "I was an alcoholic, wait no, I am an alcoholic, it's something you never get over."

"What?" I asked her, shocked.

"I'm a recovering alcoholic." She said smiling. "Five years without a drink."

Now it made sense as to why I was paired up with this small, dark haired woman. She'd been here, she knew what I was going through.

"Five years." I said, looking at the weights, pretending to inspect them.

"Yep." She said standing up. "I've been here and I've done it. It's not easy, at all, but you can do it and that's something you need to remember."

I nodded. "If you say so."

"Now I think I might go shower." She said, smiling at me.

I stood up. "Yeah I've had enough." I told her. "For now anyway." I added softly.

I followed her out of the gym and up the stairs to our room. The hallways were deserted, no one else in sight.

"So, I bet you'd kill for a drink." Chloe said as we got to our door.

I sighed and nodded. I really wanted a drink.

"It will come and go." She added, opening the door. "That need, but it will get worse before it gets better."

"Great." I muttered, walking inside.

"And it's always there." She said. "Some days I still find myself wanting a drink."

I groaned. Five years she'd been clean and here she was telling me she still wanted a drink. How the fuck was I going to do it?

While Chloe showered I went into my room. I'd unpacked earlier and I looked at the photo's of my family I'd put around my room.

That was the reason I was doing this. For Lucy, for Ryder and Jaxson, my sons, I was doing this for them. I needed them back, I needed them in my life because right now, without them, my life had no meaning.

"You gonna shower?" Chloe called out and I grabbed my clothes, heading into the bathroom.

I needed a shower, I was sweaty. I know I'd been to the gym and had a bit of a workout, but now I was just sweating standing still.

I spent a bit of time in the shower, it felt good. Unfortunately, the whole time I was in there I was thinking about a drink. I often showered with a glass of something, anything, whatever alcohol I had at the time and I here I was, for the first time in a long time, showering without a drink. God, there were going to be a lot of times like this, I rarely did anything anymore without drinking.

I finished up and I noticed I was shaking. Fuck, it had only been maybe six hours since my last drink and already I was suffering.

"Want to get something to eat?" Chloe asked me as I walked out of my room.

I nodded. "Sure." Although the last thing I felt like doing was eating, my stomach was churning and I felt sick, really sick.

We walked into the dining room and finally someone else was here.

Two guys were sitting there, one eating and one frowning and pushing food around on his plate. It was easy to tell who was the addict and who was the counsellor.

"What do you feel like?" Chloe asked me, indicating to the choices that were available.

I shrugged and grabbed a salad. Everything looked delicious and this dining room was always open so we could eat whenever we wanted, but I just wasn't hungry, I couldn't stomach food right now.

"Are you okay?" Chloe asked, watching me push my salad around on my plate.

"I feel a bit off." I mumbled, looking at her.

She smiled. "I bet you are."

What the fuck was she smiling about? Did she find this amusing?

I reached out and grabbed my drink, which was only water and I stopped, looking at my hand. It was shaking, a lot.

"Fuck." I muttered, pushing my chair back and standing up. "I'm going back to my room."

"Oh." Chloe said, putting her fork down. "Okay." And she stood up.

"You stay." I told her. "Finish."

"Well I can't really." She said looking at me. "You and I have to stick together, at least for the first three weeks."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I snapped. Was she serious?

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Well that's fucking ridiculous." I growled. "I'm a grown man, I think I'll be alright."

"Will you?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow at me. "I mean I see your hands shaking, I see you sweating and I know that in about two hours time you're going to think this was a stupid idea and you're going to try and leave."

"No I wont." I snapped and I wouldn't because the truth was I'd already thought about calling my parents and telling them to come and get me.

"Yeah." She said. "You will.

I sighed sitting down and nodding.

"Look Matt." Chloe said. "Work with me, I'm here to help. You are going to hate me, but don't worry, you're not the first and you won't be the last."

I looked at her, sitting there, popping fries into her mouth, smiling at me.

I think I already hated her, but at least I knew it was my urge for alcohol making me. I hoped she did too. She probably was a really nice person, it was just right now, her face was annoying the fuck out of me.