A Place of Hope and No Pain
Chapter 47
Chloe's POV
I told him everything, all of it. I don't know why, it was something I'd never spoken of, nobody knew about Harper except for me and my family, but I told him. There was something about Matt, just something about him that made me want to trust him, when he told me he was here for me I believed him, I believed he meant it.
Harper, god, I tried not to think about her and I'd been doing a pretty good job until Matt dragged me to that party. To sit there and see my daughter. Six years had passed, six years that I'd never get back with her. Six years that were taken from me because of my family.
I blamed my family for it, but I also blamed myself. What kind of a mother was I that I was so drunk I signed over custody without realising it? But what kind of a family were they to take advantage of me?
Yes I'd been and alcoholic and I'd paid dearly for it. I'd pay for it for the rest of my life.
"What do you feel like for lunch?" Matt asked softly.
I pulled away from him, looking up and wiping my face. "I'll see what there is."
I got up and went into the kitchen, Matt following me. I had some chicken and salad so we sat down, eating that, talking, not about anything important, just talking and it was nice.
"So." He said as we cleaned up. "What do you feel like doing?"
I shrugged. "I don't mind." And in all honestly I was feeling tired, emotionally tired and drained.
"Well." He said softly, pulling him to me. "Why don't we just watch a movie or something."
"That sounds fabulous." And to me it did, it didn't really require any thinking.
He kissed me softly and I closed my eye's. Kissing him was just so, so what? So perfect it really was. It had been a long time since I'd felt like this about anyone and I'd forgotten what it was like, how nice it was. I was glad I'd listened to him, glad I let him into my life.
"What do you feel like watching?" He asked as he led me into the living room.
"Whatever you want." I said laying on the couch and watching him decide what to watch.
He put on a DVD and then came over to the couch, looking at me. I smiled, moving my legs, he sat down and I put my legs on him. As the movie started I closed my eye's. Matt was caressing my legs gently and honestly, it was putting me to sleep.
I was just drifting off when Matt's phone rang, jolting me back to reality.
I opened my eye's and looked at him as he looked at it frowning.
"What?" He snapped and he looked at me, rolling his eye's.
I figured just by the look on his face and the way he answered the phone it was Lucy. Of course she would call and ruin our day.
"At Chloe's." He snapped.
"Hi Lucy." I called out, smiling.
Matt smiled widely at me and kept talking. "Yep, that's what I said." He fell silent and I could vaguely hear Lucy raving on. "Nope I'm not, I told you I'm done Lucy, oh and I'll be by to pick the boys up at five, they're sleeping at my place tonight. That's what I said, yep, god, bye."
He hung up, looking at me. "God she just won't give up."
"At least you're getting to see the boys." I told him, feeling a little disappointed that I wouldn't be seeing him this evening, but I understood, his children came first.
"Yeah, I mean I've had enough of her." He said going back to caressing my leg. "She's not keeping me from the boy's, we are having a sleepover tonight."
"Good." I said holding out my hand.
He grabbed it, squeezing it and smiling. "You should come over tonight for a sleepover too."
A sleepover! God I hadn't even thought of anything like that and just that thought made me feel all nervous.
"I have Lucy." I told him. "I can't really."
"She can come too." He said looking at Lucy. "You wanna sleep at my house right?" He asked her and she looked at him adoringly and wagged her tail. Of course she did. "So it's settled, you two are joining our sleepover."
"Sounds fun." I said softly, smiling.
Sounds fun? Jesus Christ, what was I going to wear to bed? Did I have anything suitable?
God what was I thinking, it wasn't like we were going to have sex with his boy's in the house. Typical me, overreacting again.
"So Chloe." Matt said softly.
"Yes?" I asked him, looking at him.
"Well." He said, shifting slightly so he was facing me. "Well remember I told you I wanted you to tell me everything?"
I frowned slightly. "I did Matt." I reassured him, I had no more secrets. "I told you everything, you know it all."
He looked at me, pursing his lips. "I beg to differ Chloe, there is one thing you haven't told me." He said. "Or should I say showed me."
"What?" I asked, feeling confused. "What are you talking about?"
"Well." He said softly, his hand sliding further up my leg. "I asked you about your tattoo, but you never did tell me."
I smiled. "Is that right?"
He nodded, cocking his eyebrow's. "Yeah, so you know, what is it?"
"I got it after everything I went through, you know, just to remind me." I told him softly, aware of his hand on my leg.
"Can I see it?" He asked.
I bit my lip. Could he see it? It went pretty low if you get what I mean, like low into my underpants.
"Please?" He whispered.
I sighed. Why not, no secrets right? "Okay." I whispered, pulling my shirt up a little.
He didn't reply, he just smiled and reached up, grabbing the waist of my shorts and tugging on them a little.
"How far down does it go?" He murmured, leaning over and looking.
I wanted to reply, but I couldn't. His hand tugging on my shorts, and the other on my leg, I was having trouble concentrating.
"It's pretty big." He murmured, pulling my shorts down further. "I like it." He whispered.
I closed my eye's as he leant over and kissed it softly, my breath catching in my throat as his lips moved further up, kissing across my stomach.
I felt him shift, his lips travelling up until he reached my neck.
"I'm serious." He murmured, his lips reaching mine. "I like it Chloe."
He kissed me softly and I closed my eye's, enjoying it, enjoying him.
"Can I see yours?" I murmured, feeling a fluttering in my stomach.
"God yes you can." He whispered, kissing me again.
His hand slid softly up from my waist and under my shirt.
Dear god we were going to have sex. But dear god I really wanted too.
I told him everything, all of it. I don't know why, it was something I'd never spoken of, nobody knew about Harper except for me and my family, but I told him. There was something about Matt, just something about him that made me want to trust him, when he told me he was here for me I believed him, I believed he meant it.
Harper, god, I tried not to think about her and I'd been doing a pretty good job until Matt dragged me to that party. To sit there and see my daughter. Six years had passed, six years that I'd never get back with her. Six years that were taken from me because of my family.
I blamed my family for it, but I also blamed myself. What kind of a mother was I that I was so drunk I signed over custody without realising it? But what kind of a family were they to take advantage of me?
Yes I'd been and alcoholic and I'd paid dearly for it. I'd pay for it for the rest of my life.
"What do you feel like for lunch?" Matt asked softly.
I pulled away from him, looking up and wiping my face. "I'll see what there is."
I got up and went into the kitchen, Matt following me. I had some chicken and salad so we sat down, eating that, talking, not about anything important, just talking and it was nice.
"So." He said as we cleaned up. "What do you feel like doing?"
I shrugged. "I don't mind." And in all honestly I was feeling tired, emotionally tired and drained.
"Well." He said softly, pulling him to me. "Why don't we just watch a movie or something."
"That sounds fabulous." And to me it did, it didn't really require any thinking.
He kissed me softly and I closed my eye's. Kissing him was just so, so what? So perfect it really was. It had been a long time since I'd felt like this about anyone and I'd forgotten what it was like, how nice it was. I was glad I'd listened to him, glad I let him into my life.
"What do you feel like watching?" He asked as he led me into the living room.
"Whatever you want." I said laying on the couch and watching him decide what to watch.
He put on a DVD and then came over to the couch, looking at me. I smiled, moving my legs, he sat down and I put my legs on him. As the movie started I closed my eye's. Matt was caressing my legs gently and honestly, it was putting me to sleep.
I was just drifting off when Matt's phone rang, jolting me back to reality.
I opened my eye's and looked at him as he looked at it frowning.
"What?" He snapped and he looked at me, rolling his eye's.
I figured just by the look on his face and the way he answered the phone it was Lucy. Of course she would call and ruin our day.
"At Chloe's." He snapped.
"Hi Lucy." I called out, smiling.
Matt smiled widely at me and kept talking. "Yep, that's what I said." He fell silent and I could vaguely hear Lucy raving on. "Nope I'm not, I told you I'm done Lucy, oh and I'll be by to pick the boys up at five, they're sleeping at my place tonight. That's what I said, yep, god, bye."
He hung up, looking at me. "God she just won't give up."
"At least you're getting to see the boys." I told him, feeling a little disappointed that I wouldn't be seeing him this evening, but I understood, his children came first.
"Yeah, I mean I've had enough of her." He said going back to caressing my leg. "She's not keeping me from the boy's, we are having a sleepover tonight."
"Good." I said holding out my hand.
He grabbed it, squeezing it and smiling. "You should come over tonight for a sleepover too."
A sleepover! God I hadn't even thought of anything like that and just that thought made me feel all nervous.
"I have Lucy." I told him. "I can't really."
"She can come too." He said looking at Lucy. "You wanna sleep at my house right?" He asked her and she looked at him adoringly and wagged her tail. Of course she did. "So it's settled, you two are joining our sleepover."
"Sounds fun." I said softly, smiling.
Sounds fun? Jesus Christ, what was I going to wear to bed? Did I have anything suitable?
God what was I thinking, it wasn't like we were going to have sex with his boy's in the house. Typical me, overreacting again.
"So Chloe." Matt said softly.
"Yes?" I asked him, looking at him.
"Well." He said, shifting slightly so he was facing me. "Well remember I told you I wanted you to tell me everything?"
I frowned slightly. "I did Matt." I reassured him, I had no more secrets. "I told you everything, you know it all."
He looked at me, pursing his lips. "I beg to differ Chloe, there is one thing you haven't told me." He said. "Or should I say showed me."
"What?" I asked, feeling confused. "What are you talking about?"
"Well." He said softly, his hand sliding further up my leg. "I asked you about your tattoo, but you never did tell me."
I smiled. "Is that right?"
He nodded, cocking his eyebrow's. "Yeah, so you know, what is it?"
"I got it after everything I went through, you know, just to remind me." I told him softly, aware of his hand on my leg.
"Can I see it?" He asked.
I bit my lip. Could he see it? It went pretty low if you get what I mean, like low into my underpants.
"Please?" He whispered.
I sighed. Why not, no secrets right? "Okay." I whispered, pulling my shirt up a little.
He didn't reply, he just smiled and reached up, grabbing the waist of my shorts and tugging on them a little.
"How far down does it go?" He murmured, leaning over and looking.
I wanted to reply, but I couldn't. His hand tugging on my shorts, and the other on my leg, I was having trouble concentrating.
"It's pretty big." He murmured, pulling my shorts down further. "I like it." He whispered.
I closed my eye's as he leant over and kissed it softly, my breath catching in my throat as his lips moved further up, kissing across my stomach.
I felt him shift, his lips travelling up until he reached my neck.
"I'm serious." He murmured, his lips reaching mine. "I like it Chloe."
He kissed me softly and I closed my eye's, enjoying it, enjoying him.
"Can I see yours?" I murmured, feeling a fluttering in my stomach.
"God yes you can." He whispered, kissing me again.
His hand slid softly up from my waist and under my shirt.
Dear god we were going to have sex. But dear god I really wanted too.