A Place of Hope and No Pain

Chloe's POV

I zipped up my suitcase, dragging it off my bed and then out to my car, putting it in the trunk and closing it quietly.

It was early, very early and the sun was still an hour or so away from rising. I had to leave early, the clients were arriving around ten and I wanted to make sure I was all settled in my room by then.

I went back inside and did a quick check, making sure everything was locked.

I felt sad, sad because I'd had to leave Lucy last night and every time I did it, it broke my heart. I'd missed her warmth next to me in bed last night, I'd felt lonely.

I picked up my phone, glancing at it. There was still no reply to my message and that was the other reason I was sad. Matt.

I didn't want to break up with Matt, I didn't, all I wanted him to do was take the time and sort things out with Lucy and Ryder. I didn't want Ryder to hate him because of me, that was all I'd wanted. But when we got to my place and he'd said the things he did, well he made it pretty clear what he wanted.

I called him a few times and left messages, asking how he was, but of course he hadn't replied and last night I'd text him, letting him know I was leaving today and yet again, no reply. I don't know what I was expecting from him, maybe a bye, maybe a take care, but what I really wanted was a I can't live without you Chloe and I didn't mean it, any of it. I got nothing instead and as I got in my car, heading towards rehab once again I felt a little done with everything and more than a little broken hearted. I thought I was doing the right thing by Matt, but obviously I was wrong.

The drive up was long and I stopped several times for coffee, but finally I arrived with plenty of time to spare and I grabbed my stuff, checking in with Bruce then heading up to my room.

I opened the door and stopped. The last time I'd been here, in this room had been with Matt and I stood there, next to the couch crying.

The room was empty, bare, but I could still picture Matt here. I'd never thought of that when I agreed to come, the fact that Matt was here too, haunting me.

I'd let him in, I'd started to fall in love again. I let myself feel and this is where I ended up, hurt and alone again.

"Hey." Clay said, bursting through the door. "How the fuck are you?" And he grabbed me, hugging me roughly.

"Not bad." I said softly, hugging him back. "How are you?"

He pulled away, looking at me. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded and wiped my face. "I will be."

"So what have you been doing?" He asked me, flopping onto the couch.

"Working." I said, not elaborating, the less people who knew about Matt and I the better.

He nodded. "So." He said looking at his hands. "I've been talking to Carmen."

"You have?" I asked him, sitting next to him. "How is she doing?"

He smiled. "Good Chloe, she's doing good." He said and I could hear affection in his voice. "When I finish up here this time, well we're going to try and give it a shot."

"Good Clay." I said softly.

He looked happy and I was glad he and Carmen were working it out, I was just sad that Matt and I weren't.

"Yeah, I guess I just got scared." He murmured. "And then when I found out about her overdose, well yeah, I realised I had feelings for her."

I nodded, that was what I had hoped would happen.

"So anyway Chloe." He said looking at me. "What's wrong? I mean it's obvious something is."

I sighed. "You know me Clay." I said attempting to sound light hearted. "I like being alone and I made the god awful mistake of attempting to have a relationship, needless to say it didn't work out."

"Haven't you learnt your lesson yet Chloe?" He joked.

"Well I have now." I mumbled and I had, that was for sure.

"Anyway." He said standing up and holding out his hand. "Let's go downstairs, watch them arrive."

I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet. We made our way downstairs and I grabbed a coffee before we took our positions at the window, watching the clients arrived.

I remembered sitting here, seeing Matt for the first time and I remembered thinking how big he was. God everything here was going to remind me of him and it was going to be horrible.

"Here." Mark said, walking in and handing us all a file. "We're running behind with everything." He muttered. "You should have already had them, fuck, I feel so unorganised."

He felt unorganised? We'd just been given about half an hour to read up on the person we were spending the next twelve weeks with.

"Eh." Clay mumbled, looking at his file. "A 49 year old Morphine abuser."

I nodded, opening my file. I started reading and as I did, I tried not to groan.

My client was named Liam, he was a 36 year old, recently separated father of two and an alcoholic as well.

God, it sounded all too familiar. Fuck, was I being punished?

Clay grabbed my file, looking at it. "Hopefully you won't get strangled this time." He chuckled.

I shook my head, kind of hoping I wouldn't be strangled again this time too.

I sat there, in the window, sipping my coffee until finally it was time to meet up with our partners.

Liam seemed nice, quiet, but nice and I could see on his face he'd been through hell and back. Hopefully by the time he left here things would be looking up for him.

I led him to our room, showing him around, doing the usual tour.

"So what about you Chloe?" Liam asked as he threw his bags into his room. "Tell me about yourself.

I looked at him and smiled, well sort of. "Never mind about me, let's worry about you."

I'd learnt my lesson, I wasn't sharing anything personal about myself anymore, I would be keeping my distance.

"Hey." Liam said suddenly, picking up my phone that was sitting on the coffee table. "You got a message."

I grabbed it, feeling my heart in my throat and I took a deep breath before unlocking it and reading it. It was from Matt and as I read it I felt those fucking tears threaten to fall again.

Have fun

That was it, that was all it said.

Yep, I was sure going to have fun.