Remenissions

Lana's POV

We eventually got out of bed, I didn't want to, but it was inevitable and now because of our little sleep in I was running late, not that I really cared.

I jumped in the shower straight away. The hairdresser would be here any minute so I hurried and by the time I'd finished she was waiting patiently for me.

"Here." Matt said, placing a coffee and a bagel down in front of me as she started to curl my hair. "Eat."

Easier said than done. I didn't have an appetite. How could I? But I tried anyway and I sat there while she pulled my hair, until finally she was done.

"Is it okay?" I asked Matt, after she was done.

He was just sitting in the kitchen, staring out the window. "Yeah Lana." He said softly. "It looks okay."

The other guys were outside, mucking about, but I didn't feel like joining them and I guessed Matt didn't either.

Eventually everyone came inside and we had lunch, well I picked at lunch, sitting there listening to the guys joke to Matt about how he'd be married in a few hours. I didn't laugh. I didn't think it was funny.

"Well." I said excusing myself from the table. "I'm getting my make up done and then getting ready, so I'll see you all when its time to go." And with that I turned and headed to my room.

I got my makeup done and then it was time to put on my dress, my perfect dress. I pulled it on and then stood in the mirror, looking at myself. My perfect dress didn't look so perfect to me anymore, I looked sad, pathetic, desperate.

I pulled on my heels and glanced one last time at myself, I could understand why he didn't want me, who was I kidding, I was nobody.

I went to Matt's room and tapped lightly on the door. I could hear Brian and him talking quietly and I waited. When they didn't reply I opened the door, stepping in.

Brian was adjusting Matt's tie and they both turned to look at me.

"How do I look?" I asked, glancing between the both of them.

Matt looked at me and groaned. "God Lana, go away." So I quickly closed the door and went into the living room to wait. I didn't want to annoy him, but his words hurt.

Eventually everyone was ready and we headed to the cars. There were two taking us and as I headed to one Matt approached me, grabbing my hand.

"We can go in this one." He said softly, tugging me towards the second one.

It was only me and him in the car and we didn't talk, we just sat there, staring out the window, holding hands. I didn't want to talk anyway, I didn't trust myself at this point.

When we arrived at the church my mind screamed, it screamed at me to go, to leave, that this was all wrong and that I shouldn't be here and as soon as Matt helped me out of the car I wanted to cry. I wanted to hit him, hit anyone and tell them that this just wasn't fair.

Marty sensed my distress and she reassured me. I appreciated it but it didn't help and my anxiety intensified when Matt's mom told us to go into the church. I wasn't sure if I could do it, not now, not anymore.

"Mom, I just need a second." Matt suddenly said and I turned to walk inside, but he held onto my hand, holding me back.

We stood there, in silence, both of us staring in the distance. I didn't know what he was thinking, but I knew what I was thinking. This was it. Nothing would ever be the same.

"Lana." He said softly and I looked at him.

He pulled me into his arms, holding me and a stupid tear escaped and ran down my cheek. I gently wiped it away and Matt whispered in my ear. "Everything will be fine."

I nodded and pulled back to look at him. He looked down at me and smiled, kissing my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, before looking at me again.

"Matthew." His mom hissed from the doorway and we both turned to look. "Get in here now."

He took my hand and we walked into the church, down to the front and sat on a pew with the other's. We were all fidgeting, none of us could sit still.

"Fuck." Matt suddenly said and I looked at him. He leant over and said something to Brian, causing Brian to frown.

Brian got up and walked over to the priest, telling him something, then he nodded, indicating for Matt to follow him and I watched as Matt and Brian disappeared into a door, closing it.

Jimmy laughed nervously and Johnny joked. "Last minute toilet stop." And all I could do was nod and smile, wondering what they were doing.

"Lana." Matt's mom called, running up to me. "The girl are here, go get those two and tell them to hurry up."

I took a deep breath, calming myself and cursing Courtney for turning up, wishing she'd backed out, or died or something.

"Um, I have to get them." I said nervously to the priest and he smiled.

"Just through that door my girl." He told me.

I walked to the door and stood there before knocking lightly and opening it.

"Um." I stumbled. "The girls are here."

Brian was standing in front of Matt and Matt was standing there with his hands on his head. They both turned to look at me.

"Jesus Lana." Matt snapped. "Can you fuck off?"

And I quickly closed the door, shocked. What had I done? Why was he angry with me?

"Lana." Brian called, sticking his head out. "Go out and tell the girls to wait a minute okay?" And I nodded, heading back down the aisle.

I stepped outside and all the girls were there, fussing over Courtney, who was yelling at everybody.

"Um Courtney." I said stepping towards her. "You have to wait a second okay, Matt's in the bathroom."

"Seriously?" She snapped, turning to look at me. She stopped, looking me up and down. "What the hell are you wearing Lana?"

"The dress." I said. "The one you okayed."

Her eye's bulged and she leant over. "I never okayed that dress, you're meant to be in a suit, a fucking suit. This is my wedding and now you've ruined it in that ugly dress."

"Well sorry." I mumbled turning and heading back into the church.

I didn't know what her problem was. Matt had sent her a picture of this dress and she'd approved it, so what was her problem? Maybe she's nervous or maybe she's just a fucking bitch.

I sat back down next to Zack and stared at the door, waiting for Matt and the longer I sat here, the worse I begun to feel. This wedding was a mistake, it really was and I wished I had the balls to stop it.

Suddenly the door opened and Brian stepped out, smiling at everyone. He walked over to me and sat down, leaning close to me, whispering in my ear.

"Er, um, Lana." He whispered. "We have a problem."

I looked at him, waiting. Yeah we had a problem, this whole thing was a problem.

"Lana." He said, looking at me. "Um, Matt's gone. He left."