Remenissions

Matt's POV

I was disappointed when I woke up and Lana wasn't in bed, but I guessed she'd woken up earlier and gotten out of bed. I rolled onto my back and stretched, looking at the ceiling. Today was going to be a day to remember, I had no doubt. I would have endless calls from people, some of whom I should probably call back, and there was Lana.

I sat on the edge of the bed. Lana. Just the thought of her brought a smile to my lips and I stood up, heading to the door.

I opened the door and there she was, sitting on the couch, sipping a coffee. She looked so cute, sitting there in her pyjamas and I wanted to stand here watching her, but I didn't.

"Hey." I said and she jumped, startled.

I headed into the kitchen, grabbing a coffee and heading back out to the living room. I sat down, talking, trying to, but I had a million things running through my head, most of them about Lana, and I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying. I needed to calm down and relax, we weren't going anywhere, I could relax and take my time, we had all day.

Thankfully Lana pointed out the fact that my phone had been busy and it gave me the opportunity collect myself, my thoughts, so I headed into the bedroom, to call my mom. She would be worried, I knew that and I knew I had to at least call her.

"Matthew." She answered straight away. "Where have you been? I've been worried sick."

"Mom, I'm okay." I told her. "I'm at Lana's."

"Well you could have called me, I've been worried you know." She snapped and I could tell she was pissed. "I mean what were you thinking, just leaving and poor Courtney, I mean Matthew, what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking I was doing the wrong thing." I told her, because I was, I knew I was.

She sighed. "Oh Matt, I'm sorry."

"It's okay mom, I'll be fine." I explained. "I'm just staying here for a few day's, work out some stuff, then I'll talk to everybody."

"Yes, good idea, stay with Lana." She said. "Lana is good for you."

My mom had no idea just how good Lana really was for me. We finished the conversation with a promise for me to keep in touch with her and I hung up, taking a deep breath and heading back into the living room.

I sat down and turned my phone off. I didn't want anymore calls, the only person I wanted to talk to was sitting right next to me.

But that was the problem, I wanted to talk to her but I didn't know what to say. I sat there, looking at her, listening to her and then fuck, she suggested she go and stay at Nick's for a few days. That's not what I wanted, I wanted her here with me, and I told her as much.

I took a breath, it was time, I had to tell her, tell her something and I opened my mouth. What came out was ridiculous and I couldn't find the right words. My head was empty and the more I tried to tell her the worse it got. She made me so nervous, I kept stumbling over my words.

Lana was sitting there with wide eye's, looking upset and I realised she was expecting the worst from me, so I did the only thing I could think of, I leant over and kissed her.

I closed my eye's, enjoying it, it was like I remembered from Vegas, only better and I slipped my hand in her hair, kissing her harder. I wanted her closeness, I needed it.

"We should have breakfast." She suddenly suggested, pulling away from me slightly.

Breakfast? What the fuck was she talking about? "I guess." I murmured, leaning in and brushing my lips across hers again.

"Yeah breakfast." She said standing up and walking into the kitchen.

I got up and followed, feeling a little confused. She kissed me back, she did, and now, now it was like she was trying to get away from me.

"Eggs?" She asked me, going to the fridge.

"I guess." I said quietly, watching her pull the eggs out. I didn't give a fuck about eggs.

She started cracking them into a bowl and I looked at her ,hands, they were shaking, she was shaking.

"Lana." I said softly, getting up and walking over to her.

She stopped cracking the eggs and put her hands on the bench and I saw her shoulders sag.

Fuck. She didn't feel the same way, I just knew it.

"Lana." I said softly, turning her around to face me. "Lana, look at me."

She raised her face slowly, her eye's meeting mine and I couldn't help but see the sorrow and the pain in her eye's and I reached over, wrapping her in my arms.

I leant down and kissed her again. I would keep trying, trying with her, I would never give up, not now, not now I knew I loved her.

She leant into me, reaching up and wrapping her arm's around my neck and I smiled against her lips, maybe she did feel the same way after all.

"Do you see." I whispered and I felt her head nod slightly and I put my lips back to hers.

I wanted to kiss her forever, but I needed to her understand, I needed her to know that what I did, I did for he, the wedding, everything, it was all for her.

"Lana." I murmured, pulling back a little, but not letting her go. "Do you understand?" I asked her softly.

"Matt." She whispered, raising her face, looking me in the eye's. "Matt." And she said my name again softly.

"You Lana." I murmured, pulling her even closer. "You're the reason, now do you see why I couldn't tell you?"

But I didn't wait for her to answer, I just kissed her again.

Her phone suddenly started ringing and we pulled apart, startled.

"I don't know who that is." She mumbled.

But I did, I knew exactly who it was. It was Nick and I felt relieved when Lana looked at the screen and quickly rejected the call.

"You're not answering?" I asked her and she looked at me and shrugged.

"I guess not." She murmured. "I mean what do I say?"

"Fuck Lana." I said, stepping towards her. "I'm going to have to talk to Courtney and you're going to have to talk to Nick." And it was true, we would have to.

"And tell them what?" She asked softly, looking down.

"Tell them." Well here goes. I took and deep breath and pulled her back into my arms. "Tell them about us."

She raised her head and looked at me and I touched her cheek, smiling. "Us." She whispered.

"Us." I murmured, kissing her. "Together, you and I."

"Us." She whispered against my lips, wrapping her arms around me.

I pulled her closer, holding onto her tightly. I wasn't letting go of her, not now and if anyone tried to interfere it would get ugly, I swear. Lana was mine now and I wasn't letting her go for anything.

"Us." I whispered again, feeling her smile.

I silently thanked god that there was an us. Because there was, now I knew, Lana felt the same and I'd never felt so happy in my life and I damn I was lucky I'd realised this before I'd gotten married, because I could think of nothing worse than being married to someone and loving someone else.

"Today." I whispered, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Today is for you and me." And she nodded smiling. "We can talk, do whatever you want, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay." And she reached up, putting her hand on my chest. "Matt." She whispered. "Can you kiss me again?"

I smiled and nodded. Hell yes I could kiss her again. I could kiss her as many times as she wanted. I could kiss her forever.

And I planned on it, kissing her forever, I planned on it.