Take Me to Church

Getting dressed the next morning was a rather difficult task, but one I completed none the less. I pulled on a pair of jeans, a reddish brown tank top, a cardigan with a geometric design, and a simple pair of red vans.

"I need you to do something for me, love." Chibs spoke, walking into the bathroom where I was standing. I was leaning forward against the counter top as I put some make up on. "What's that?" My eyes looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was standing directly behind me, with his hands shoved down into his pockets. "When we get to the club, I need you to bring Juice out to the garage, alright?" He placed his hand on my hip as he spoke in my ear. He was just so worried about the younger man, not that I wasn't- I just had no idea how to handle this.

Leaving the house, we went straight to the club. Due to the injury on my arm, I was unable to hold my bike up, not only that but my bike had also been left at the club yesterday. So, I drove the car behind Chibs while he rode his bike.

When we arrived, Chibs called Jax into the garage immediately, while I went off to find Juice so I could do as Filip had asked me. I found him walking out of his apartment, and was quick to come up with something. "Juice, can you come out to the garage with me and help me change the oil on my bike? I can't do much because of my arm." I flashed him a smile.

"Yea, sure." He nodded his head quickly. So together we made our way out of the club and across the lot to the garage. Juice seemed more than confused when the doors closed behind us, and we were met by Jax and Chibs.

Juice was quick to spin around and look at me, almost angrily. "What the hell's going on here?" He growled out.

"That's what I want to now." Jax added, looking between Chibs and I. So, Chibs was the one to start explaining, by stepping forward and looking at Jax. "I need your advice brother." Chibs said with a sigh, taking his sun glasses off of his face. Chibs grabbed Juice's collar, before revealing the deep purple bruises around the boys neck.

Gasping, my hand quickly came up to cover my mouth. "What about it? Thought you got caught on security chains up at Oswalds?" Jax asked, looking over to the man in question. Juice looked at the blonde male, and ever so slightly shook his head back and forth.

It took only a moment for Jax to put the pieces together and come up with the right outcome. "Shit." Jax breathed out.

"I don't know what happened man. I guess doing time, the Russians, and then Miles." Juice's voice began to trail off after a moment. I couldn't stop myself from reaching out, putting my hand on his shoulder, and giving it a slight squeeze. "I'm not sure how to handle this." Chibs spoke only to Jax. "It was a mistake, I know that now." It was obvious that Juice was worried. Jax looked over at Juice for a few seconds before speaking. "Alright, give us a minute." Jax shook his head at Juice.

With a sigh, Juice walked out of the garage, but only lingered a few feet away where we could still see him. That left the three of us to figure out what to do next, where do we go from here?

"Jesus Christ." Jax breathed out only once Juice was far enough away. "What happened, I mean how's you find out?" I asked, looking at Chibs. "Found him out at Oswald's, trying to hide the evidence." He told us simply. Part of me had actually been expecting more than that. "Sons don't kill themselves, club's gonna vote him out. No one's gonna trust him." Jax explained to us.

"I know." Was all Chibs said. I, on the other hand, couldn't really bring myself to say anything. "But you do? Trust him, I mean." Jax questioned Chibs.

Chibs seemed to hesitate before launching into his story. "My first kill for the Irish- young constable in Omagh. MY age. Me and him could have been classmates. I put two bullets in the back of that boys head, never even seen it coming. Shite broke me down, Jacky- came close to swinging from that tree myself." I was almost shocked to hear it. He had never told me anything like that before. What would I have ever done in a world without him?

"Yeah, but thinking about it and actually doing it, there's a big difference." Jax looked Chibs over. "Aye, let me watch him for a while, see where he's at. Figure him out. And we got to get Clay to take him off of this cartel shit." Chibs' voice was soft. "Yeah, okay." Jax nodded simply before walking away.

Once he was gone, I stepped closer to my husband. "You never told me about any of that." I spoke, placing my hand on his arm. "Don't you worry about me, love. It was a long time ago." He reassured me.

Placing his arm around my shoulders, we slowly made our way out of the garage together. Juice was still standing in the lot, while Jax was climbing into the truck with Clay. "Can you do something for me, love?" He asked me. As we were walking, my stomach began to churn, and I very suddenly didn't feel good. "Two things in one day, what's up?" I hummed, looking up at him.

"Sheriff's are clearing out today, Juice is staying here to clean up and check the place over for bugs, mics, the works. I want you to stay here, help him, and just keep an eye out. Yeah?" His request was pretty simple. "What about church?" I gasped out. Not that I really cared about being there, I just didn't want this to cause any problems. "Don't worry about it, just keep an eye on him for me." He ordered, looking down at me with a stern look on his face. "Alright, you can count on me. I nodded.

The boys all left not too long after that, leaving Juice and I alone at the compound. My stomach was still churning as I walked over to Juice. "So, I guess we should get started. What all, exactly, do we have to do?" I asked, coming to stand next to Juice with my arms crossed over my chest. "Search everything. Lights, phones, hell even couch cushions. Every room, every crack." Based off of his tone, he was still upset with me about the confrontation earlier.

"You'll probably have to get the high up stuff, my arm is still having problems just reaching out for simple stuff." I spoke with a sigh. "Alright, I can handle that." Juice nodded his head, as his eyes briefly flashed over to my arm.

With that, we made our way into the club and got started. Juice focused on the chapel, so I went into the kitchen and got started in there. Light fixtures, paintings, tops of cabinets, any sort of decorations- I checked everything possible. Once I finished in the kitchen, I started searching each of the apartments one by one. I will definitely be needing a shower after this.

Between all the dust, dirty laundry, trash, and just down right disgusting things I found in those rooms, my skin was crawling.

Still, I found nothing. So, once I was finished in the last of the apartments I went back out into the bar and found Juice. He had finished with searching the chapel and had since moved on to search everywhere else.

"Did you find anything?" He asked me, his breath was shaky. "No, didn't see anything suspicious." I shook my head.

When he said nothing else, I decided to speak again. "I'm gonna go get some coffee, do you want anything from the kitchen?" I hummed softly. "What? Oh, no, thanks." He waved me off rather quickly. So, with a sigh, I turned and once more made my way into the kitchen. It was while I was finally pouring my first cup that Juice appeared in the doorway.

"Hey, my PO just called so I have to head out. You gonna be okay here on your own?" He asked me, once more sounding out of breath. "I'll be fine, boys should be back soon anyway. You go ahead." I waved him off.

It was about ten to twenty minutes later when Chibs and the rest of the boys got back.

Chibs stormed into the club, expecting to find Juice; but when he couldn't find him, he found me standing in the kitchen instead. "Where's Juice at?" He questioned, bounding over to where I was standing. "Oh, well, I'm fine thanks for asking. Juice got called in by his PO, he left about five, ten minutes ago." I shrugged my shoulders, teasing him ever so slightly. "Of you're full of jokes are you?" A smile appeared on his face.

I set my coffee down on the counter just as his arms wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me close against him before resting his forehead against my own. "Hows your arm feeling?" I could tell by his voice that he was genuinely concerned. "It's fine. A little sore obviously, but fine none the less." I smiled, waving his worry away just like that.

Wrapping my fingers around his wrist, I pulled his arms away from me before guiding him out of the kitchen. He said nothing as I lead him down the hallway and into our apartment- where I closed and locked the door behind us.

"Sit down, and I will pour you a drink." I ordered, releasing his wrist. I made my way over to the dresser, while he made himself comfortable sitting on the edge of the bed. I grabbed a glass, put some ice in it, and filled it with whiskey. "We're going to get through this, you know." I spoke, turning around to face him. "What are you talking about?" His eyes never left me.

Handing the drink over to him, I sat down on the bed next to him. "What I mean, is that I know you're stressed right now because the world is shitty; but things are going to get better. Our brother tried to kill himself, our family has gotten us involved with the cartel that is in the middle of a fucking war with a rival cartel. The world is a shitty place, yes but, we'll get past this; but until we do, sitting around sulking isn't going to do anything." I put it plain and simple.

His eyes slowly closed, and he sucked in a deep breath. The ice cubes in his glass swirled around, and clinked against the glass. I had no way of telling how he currently felt; but I could tell how I felt.

"I just don't now how to feel about everything that's happening." It was my turn to suck in a deep breath at the sound of his words. "You're not the only one feeling this way, you know. None of us ever expected something like this to happen. Especially not to Juice of all people, we've all felt the way you're feeling." I explained softly. Slowly, I reached over and took his hand in my own, and rested my head against his shoulder.

"I'm just scared about what might happen next. I mean, hell, you were just shot because of the club. If I can't keep you safe, how can I keep anyone safe?" There was so much sadness in his voice. I could've sworn he was going to start crying at any second. I immediately know that he was talking about how we had been trying to have kids for so long.

Moving off of the bed, I moved to where I was crouched down in front of him, and put my hand on his cheek. I could feel the stubble of his facial hair against the palm of my hand. "Dear boy. My sweet boy. Don't you dare convince yourself that any of this is your fault, you hear me? I didn't get shot because of something you did, and Juice didn't try to kill himself because of you. So don't even think that." I scolded him ever so slightly.

He said nothing. Instead, he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around my midsection. As I moved to put my arms around his shoulders that I could feel the wet sensation of tears soaking through my shirt.

Seeing my husband- the absolute love of my life- like this, absolutely broke my heart. It made me feel as if I had been punched in the gut, and couldn't breathe. "We're going to get through this Filip, I swear it. It may not seem like it right now, and we may hit a few rough patches, but we'll get through this- together. I swear it." I pulled back to look in his eyes as I spoke.

I could see his hesitation in his eyes as they scanned my face, as if trying to decide if I even believed myself. His eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying and it killed me seeing him this way. I just wanted to keep him in my arms forever and keep bad things from happening.

"You really believe that?" He asked, sounding pitiful. "Of course, I do. You and I can make it through anything as long as we're together." I smiled at him.

"I just don't want anything coming between us- to tear you away from me. I cannot bear losing you. I could take on the entire world, and never fail, as long as you are by my side." He confessed, looking into my eyes. His words made my heart ache.

"Nothing's ever going to cause me to leave. Filip you're my heart, my everything, the man I married. I'm not going anywhere." I spoke softly.

Shooting forward, he once more wrapped around me, tighter this time. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around him and hold him there. Being in his arms made me feel completely safe. This was my place in life, by his side through thick and thin no matter what. As long as we stay together, we could make it through anything that the world threw at us. I wasn't going to lose him. This world could take anything it wanted from me....except for him.

Never him.