The Supernatural Movie
The Supernatural Movie
The Supernatural Movie
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: None (Humor Fic)
Author: TheGirlWhoWaited
Rating: R
Summary: This is a one-shot humor fic that I wrote close to ten years ago. Basically, Sam and Dean are choosing the actors who will play them in a movie about their lives. I wrote this in 2006 so sadly...no Cas. I have edited from its original, horrendous state. I'm still not a big fan of this story personally, but a few people have found it funny. ONE-SHOT
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Dedicated to the late Wes Craven.
THE SUPERNATURAL MOVIE
"Sammy, remind me again why we're doing this?" Dean asked for the hundredth time that afternoon.
Sam sighed. "It's Sam and because with the money Wes is paying us we can afford to continue hunting for the rest of our lives...God help us...without hustling."
"I like to hustle." Dean pouted.
"You like to hustle?" Sam smirked. "Funny, I have a hard time picturing you doing the hustle, but I will be sure to tell any potential dates of yours from now on that you enjoy it."
Dean smacked him upside the head "Bitch." He smacked him again for good measure. "And since when are you on a first name basis with Wes Craven?"
"Since he is paying us ten million dollars for our life story. Now watch the damn types and help me pick out the actors to play us." Sam said switching the VCR on in the motel suite Craven had put the two up in. "Okay first up to play me...Tom Welling."
A few clips from Smallville and Cheaper By The Dozen played.
"Dude even YOU aren't that naive." Dean laughed.
"Okay, not him. I get it. Okay first up to play you...Steve Burton."
A series of clips from General Hospital played.
"No! No! No! Hell no! There is no way in hell some chick flicky soap opera actor is playing me!" Dean protested.
"Come on he's pretty cool, I mean he plays a mob hit-man," Sam argued back.
"Yeah, a mob hit-man in love with a whore who screwed her step-father." Dean scoffed.
Sam laughed. "Sounds like your type of chick...wait a minute the clips didn't show that whore storyline you're talking about. You been watching soaps bro? I see your time in the hospital turned you on to daytime." He chuckled.
Dean quickly brushed off the question. "Next up to play you...Daniel Radcliffe."
A series of Harry Potter clips played.
"What is he twelve?" Sam laughed. "Next"
"Okay next up to play yours truly...Tom Felton."
More Harry Potter clips filled the screen.
"What was Wes on when he put those two in the running?" Dean shook his head.
"Alrighty last two, they apparently are the only two who auditioned...Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki."
The minute the clip hit the screen Dean was on his feet.
"Sammy get in the car! I can't fucking believe this, more fucking shapeshifters. I'm getting a fucking Uzi and loading it with rock salt, holy water, rosaries...and...and Kryptonite...anything!" Dean yelled grabbing his jacket and shrugging into it still yelling.
Sam debated on wither or not to point out to his brother that all that wouldn't fit in an Uzi, hell one of the things wasn't even real, as least he hoped it wasn't because that would mean a hell of a lot more work for them, but he decided to just follow his ranting brother out the door.
Finis
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: None (Humor Fic)
Author: TheGirlWhoWaited
Rating: R
Summary: This is a one-shot humor fic that I wrote close to ten years ago. Basically, Sam and Dean are choosing the actors who will play them in a movie about their lives. I wrote this in 2006 so sadly...no Cas. I have edited from its original, horrendous state. I'm still not a big fan of this story personally, but a few people have found it funny. ONE-SHOT
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Dedicated to the late Wes Craven.
THE SUPERNATURAL MOVIE
"Sammy, remind me again why we're doing this?" Dean asked for the hundredth time that afternoon.
Sam sighed. "It's Sam and because with the money Wes is paying us we can afford to continue hunting for the rest of our lives...God help us...without hustling."
"I like to hustle." Dean pouted.
"You like to hustle?" Sam smirked. "Funny, I have a hard time picturing you doing the hustle, but I will be sure to tell any potential dates of yours from now on that you enjoy it."
Dean smacked him upside the head "Bitch." He smacked him again for good measure. "And since when are you on a first name basis with Wes Craven?"
"Since he is paying us ten million dollars for our life story. Now watch the damn types and help me pick out the actors to play us." Sam said switching the VCR on in the motel suite Craven had put the two up in. "Okay first up to play me...Tom Welling."
A few clips from Smallville and Cheaper By The Dozen played.
"Dude even YOU aren't that naive." Dean laughed.
"Okay, not him. I get it. Okay first up to play you...Steve Burton."
A series of clips from General Hospital played.
"No! No! No! Hell no! There is no way in hell some chick flicky soap opera actor is playing me!" Dean protested.
"Come on he's pretty cool, I mean he plays a mob hit-man," Sam argued back.
"Yeah, a mob hit-man in love with a whore who screwed her step-father." Dean scoffed.
Sam laughed. "Sounds like your type of chick...wait a minute the clips didn't show that whore storyline you're talking about. You been watching soaps bro? I see your time in the hospital turned you on to daytime." He chuckled.
Dean quickly brushed off the question. "Next up to play you...Daniel Radcliffe."
A series of Harry Potter clips played.
"What is he twelve?" Sam laughed. "Next"
"Okay next up to play yours truly...Tom Felton."
More Harry Potter clips filled the screen.
"What was Wes on when he put those two in the running?" Dean shook his head.
"Alrighty last two, they apparently are the only two who auditioned...Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki."
The minute the clip hit the screen Dean was on his feet.
"Sammy get in the car! I can't fucking believe this, more fucking shapeshifters. I'm getting a fucking Uzi and loading it with rock salt, holy water, rosaries...and...and Kryptonite...anything!" Dean yelled grabbing his jacket and shrugging into it still yelling.
Sam debated on wither or not to point out to his brother that all that wouldn't fit in an Uzi, hell one of the things wasn't even real, as least he hoped it wasn't because that would mean a hell of a lot more work for them, but he decided to just follow his ranting brother out the door.
Finis