A Story to Tell Your Friends

“Sam, what on Earth are we doing here?” I gawked as our taxi pulled up to Jack’s club. He was back in town, I knew that from Twitter, but he’d still failed to contact me. I felt like a loser showing up at his club, even if it had been everyone else’s idea. I hadn’t even known where we were going until the taxi pulled up outside. I’d managed to hide my struggles much better since Monday, trying my best to sleep as much as I could. I’d learned that staying late at work didn’t help, that everyone had noticed, so I went home and hid myself in my room to try and catch an hour or two of sleep.
“It’s your fucking birthday, Clara, and we all know you love this place. Just relax and enjoy yourself, would ya?” I bit my lip and nodded. Tammy and I had spent the day in our apartment, eating birthday cake and fending off all the phone calls from my friends, wishing me happy birthday. Since the only other friends I had in town were work friends and Hanna, Tammy had arranged for everyone to come out for the night with me. I still felt like an absolute loser, barely knowing anyone and showing up where I was almost positive I wasn’t wanted, but I didn’t care anymore. I was going to drink copious amounts of alcohol and pretend I didn’t know just whose club I was in, hoping beyond hope he wasn’t going to be there.
“Clara, the Jägerbombs are waiting for you!” Tammy called as I finally found her inside. She pushed a drink into my hand and I grinned, drinking most of it in one go.
“If you see him, just hand me ten more,” I told her, finishing the rest of the drink, knowing she had another lined up for me already. She knew better than to drag me here while he was home without having too much alcohol on standby. She nodded quickly, knowing exactly who I meant. I knew she would do her best to hide me from him if she could too.
“What are you drinking, birthday girl?” Sam asked, not noticing Tammy handing me another quick Jägerbomb.
“So much Jäger I can’t see straight!” Sam laughed at me before making his way over to the bar. Tammy handed me the last of the drinks she’d already bought me and I looked down at my hands, a drink in either and laughed. “You need to take a picture of this,” I told her, still laughing at the fact I’d been here five minutes and already had a drink in each hand. If there weren’t far too many pictures taken of this night, I would never remember any of it. Tammy took my phone from my purse, and I posed for her in the middle of the club with my drinks, still laughing.
Ignoring the fact you’re 25 and drinking too much like a teenager. Happy birthday to me!
I hit upload on Twitter and Instagram. I was constantly sending things out to look like I was still enjoying myself, when in reality I was taking it one step at a time and trying to remind myself I’d only known Jack a month when we stopped talking; trying to remind myself I couldn’t be as attached to him as I believed I was. It wasn’t working, but at least everyone back home (and on tour with Jack, more importantly) believed me. Tammy and Lisa were a different story, but I’d been confiding an awful lot in them over the last month, and they’d seen me with Jack more than anyone else. It was hard to fake it to them. To cut a long story short: I was miserable. Lisa still insisted he was going to call eventually, but I’d long since given up any hope of that happening.
My stomach lurched as I saw Jack’s name in my notifications. I’d barely been here five minutes, and I knew he knew. I felt sick. Admittedly, all he’d done was like my picture, but I’d been thoroughly under the impression he had stopped following me weeks ago. I didn’t expect him to see anything I posted. He’d ignored it thoroughly enough when he was out of town, so why did he suddenly care again now? I threw my phone in my purse, scowling at it. I was determined that Jack wouldn’t ruin my night. Anything more to do with my phone, I was ignoring. I was going to enjoy myself, no matter what.
“I wanna be a minority! I don’t need your authority. Down with moral majority, ‘cause I wanna be a minority!” Tammy and screamed at each other on the dance floor over yet another round of drinks. The rest of the group we had come with had sidled off either with each other or someone else they knew, but Tammy and I had stayed together and were currently making idiots of ourselves on the dance floor. They were right, I loved Jack’s club: I loved the music, the atmosphere, everything. I genuinely enjoyed myself here, as opposed to most other clubs I’d been in. It was gone midnight, and I was long past caring if Jack showed up or not. I’d told myself I was going to enjoy my night, and I was. I’d drank far too much in the last couple of hours, finding another drink thrown into my hand by one of my friends every time I came close to being finished. The perks of being the birthday girl.
“Okay, okay, I need to go to the bathroom,” I laughed at Tammy as the song ended. “I’ll be right back!” She nodded, turning her back to me and continuing to dance to herself. I continued to laugh at her as I walked away, knowing she was just fine with or without me. She was enjoying herself more than I was. I made my way over to the corner where the bathrooms were and saw the queue stretching down the hallway and groaned. I should have known it would be like this. I rolled my eyes, settling against the wall at the end of the line.
“Clara!” My gut churned at the sound of my name, hoping against hope I had imagined it; that my mind was playing tricks on me. “Clara!” I heard again, this time a little louder. Reluctantly, I turned to face the person calling my name, though not willing to open my mouth. “Hey, how are you? Are you having a good birthday?” I was pulled into a short hug, though I didn’t react. I was determined not to react.
“I was,” I stated simply, hoping against hope he would take the hint.
“I didn’t know you were here,” Jack told me, flashing a cheesy grin my way. I didn’t miss the way my knees buckled at the sight of his smile, but I chose to ignore it. If I gave in to him, I wouldn’t forgive myself. “I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer.” I snorted.
“You tried to call me? Well that’s a new one.” I wasn’t in the mood for this encounter, and I knew I’d had too much to drink to face it like a reasonable person. Ignoring my bladder, I moved myself out of the line and back toward the dance floor.
“Hey, wait! Clara, please,” Jack pleaded, grabbing my arm to stop me leaving.
“What do you want from me?” I snarled, ripping my arm out of his grasp. “Do you want to explain why you haven’t spoken to me in a month? I’ve had more conversations with Alex than I have you.”
“I know,” he muttered pathetically. I just glared at him, waiting for him to try and explain himself. “I was upset. I tried to call, I really did, but I just couldn’t.” I cackled loudly, causing a few people to turn and look at us.
“You just couldn’t? Well, that’s great. Everything is forgiven then.”
“Hey, you didn’t call me either!” Jack retaliated, raising his own voice a little.
“I called you a hundred times that week. It got to the point where I was even annoying myself. And you didn’t reply to one thing. But now you’re back in town, you suddenly care again? No, Jack; it’s not enough.”
“So what? You can basically tell me you’re going to sleep with someone else while I’m gone, announce to the world you won’t be dating any guys in bands any time soon, and I’m the one to blame?” I scowled at him, furious he was trying to pin this on me. I know I hadn’t quite reacted in the calmest way possible, but I hadn’t announced my singledom to a million people and expected it to be okay either.
“I was giving you fucking space,” I spat. “I never once said I was planning on seeing anyone while you were gone, you just assumed I was. I was trying to not be the needy girl you hooked up with a couple of times. I was devastated when you wouldn’t speak to me. Ask Lisa, ask Alex, Hell, ask Tammy if you want to know the dirty details. They’ll all tell you the exact same thing. I was miserable.” Jack moved closer to me, his eyes softening but I couldn’t bring myself to forgive him, so I shoved him away instead. “No. You don’t get to act like everything is okay. It’s not. Whatever I thought I felt for you, it doesn’t matter anymore. Carry on like you were. Don’t speak to me, don’t speak about me. I’m over this.” I shot one last glare in his direction before I turned and stormed back to the dancefloor, where Tammy was awaiting me with yet another drink. I grabbed it from her, throwing the entire thing down my throat in one.
“I take it Jack’s here,” Tammy chuckled nervously. I scoffed.
“Yep. And apparently this entire past month is my fault.”
“Do you wanna go?” I laughed shortly.
“No. This is my night; I’m not letting him ruin it for me.” I half felt the need to show Jack I didn’t care anymore, now I knew he was floating about, by flirting shamelessly with the first guy I saw. However, the only males in this club I knew were all from work, and I did not want to make that awkward. “I’m getting another drink,” I told Tammy, heading for the bar for myself for the first time since I’d walked through the doors.
“What’s a pretty girl like you got to look so mad about?” I heard to my right as I waited at the bar to be served. I glanced to my right, noticing the man stood there.
“Stupid boys in stupid bands who think they can ruin my birthday.” I was muttering deliberately, hoping he didn’t hear me. As much as I wanted to make Jack jealous, I didn’t know where on Earth to start, and I definitely was not going to start with some guy I didn’t know the name of.
“It’s your birthday?” He asked, excitedly. I laughed slightly, turning to face him fully. He was fairly attractive, with dark blonde hair and green eyes and the whitest teeth I had ever seen. He was the farthest thing from Jack I could imagine.
“Well, technically no. Yesterday was my birthday, but when I got here tonight it was my birthday,” I laughed. I glanced away from the man, noticing Jack on the other side of the room, beer in hand and acting like he wasn’t looking for me.
“Happy birthday for yesterday, then,” he told me. “I’m Chris. Let me get this round for you.”
“Clara. And, no thanks,” I smiled sweetly. I didn’t want to accept something from a stranger within a minute of meeting him. I turned to the bartender who had just appeared in front of me, requesting yet another Jägerbomb. I glanced over Chris’s shoulder again, seeing that Jack had finally found me and was acting less than subtle about staring at me.
“No, no, I insist; it is your birthday,” he told me, ignorant of the fact I was looking elsewhere. I plastered a smile on my face, thanking him and accepting the gesture.
“I am, however, going back to my friends now. Maybe I’ll see you again later?” Chris nodded, smiling at me as I walked back to Tammy.
“Clara!” Tammy shrieked, as Teenagers started up when I finally made it back to her. My eyes widened, and I grinned. Teenage nostalgia? Check. I took once last glance at Jack before I decided to make it my mission to ignore his existence for the rest of the night. Tammy and I started to dance to the music, occasionally screaming another lyric at each other as the song progressed. I was genuinely enjoying myself again, despite Jack’s interference. I felt an arm sling itself around my shoulder and shuffled away from the touch, turning to see who it was. I noticed Chris stood there, trying to dance with us. I rolled my eyes discretely, though chose to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he turned out to be a creep, I could always just walk away.
“You’re My Chem girls? Nice tasted,” Chris called to the pair of us over the music.
“Once a loser emo kid, always a loser emo kid!” I shouted back into his ear. Chris laughed at me, continuing to dance with us and joining in when we sang along. I knew he was trying to start something with one of us, but I hadn’t yet gotten a creepy vibe from him.
“I know I messed up and it might be over, but let me call you when I’m sober. I’m a dandelion you’re a four-leaf clover, but let me call you when I’m sober.” I glared up at the DJ booth, noticing Jack had moved himself there. He smiled at me nervously and I intensified my glare. Now he was going to taint one of my favourite songs? I don’t think so. I knew this was only the one he chose because he’d been drinking and the chorus fit, but that annoyed me more. I was beginning to think calling him ‘Dandelion’ the other week was a bad move. I turned my gaze away from him, nodding my head in his direction at Tammy so she knew what was going on. She rolled her eyes at me and I noticed Chris look from us to the DJ booth in confusion, before a look of slight recognition filled his face. I pulled my phone from my purse, ignoring the two people in front of me and pulled up Twitter, ignoring both the missed call and text notification from Jack.
If you know you messed up, you know it’s over. Don’t ever call me, not even when you’re sober.
I threw my phone back in my bag, shooting another glare in Jack’s direction. He looked a little sad and my stomach churned at the thought of being the one to cause it, but I was still angry. In fact, I was drunk and angry, and believe me when I say I’m a spiteful drunk. I noticed Chris’s gaze turn to Tammy and the pair of them smiled at each other awkwardly. I smiled inwardly, realising that Chris’s attention had been on Tammy the entire time, and Tammy was glad of it.
“I’m going to find Sam,” I called to Tammy, moving away from the dance floor.