A Story to Tell Your Friends

Thirty-Six.

I groaned lowly as I was awoken by the light streaming through Jack’s bedroom window, reminding me once again that I needed to convince him blinds were a good idea. I opened my eyes warily and rolled out of bed with a soft ‘oomph’. Looking around the room, I located Jack’s shirt from the night before, throwing it on and making my way to the kitchen for coffee. My head was pounding and I was in desperate need of caffeine to waylay the hangover that was creeping through my body. Jack’s friends were the worst and I was for sure going to be sending out plenty of abusive tweets to everyone who had been there last night for encouraging me to get so drunk.
I groaned again when I sat down with my coffee and opened my phone to see multiple text messages from Tammy, a handful of twitter and Instagram notifications, and that I’d slept away the entire morning and it was almost one in the afternoon. Once the annoyance had passed, I actually felt reasonably proud about the fact that I had managed to sleep through the sunlight until after midday.
The first thing I did was check Tammy’s texts, realising I still didn’t know what Jack’s response had been to her when she had asked for Brendon’s number the night before.
Don’t text Clara again tonight, and I promise I’ll give you his number. I need to make a huge move more than once and I can’t do that when she’s talking to you ;)
Jack, don’t be a whore.
Clara, don’t be a slut.
Oh my God. Stop it. I don’t need to know what you were planning.
Urgh. You’re both the worst. I bet you knew he was saying this to me, Clara.
FINE. I’ll go sleep in my own bed. Alone. And you guys be tramps. K, love you, bye. Have fun xxxx

I snorted into my phone, clutching at my head when my entire skull felt like it was vibrating. I had two aspirin on hand to go along with my coffee, but I had to let it cool down enough first. I didn’t need a burnt mouth to go along with my pounding head. I know a glass of water was the clear option here, but that would involve actually cleaning a glass from Jack’s pile of dirty pre-drinks-with-the-guys mountain and I was most definitely not prepared for that.
I’ve lost my girlfriend. She’s been replaced by this gorgeous psychopath. Help?
I inspected the picture Jack had taken of me while I’d been talking to Brendon, seeing my outfit in all its glory. It was really tight looking, but I’d gained just enough weight that I managed to fill it out as well as I’d wanted to, without it looking like I was spilling out of it. Jack’s caption to it, however, was beyond cheesy. I would have laughed, but the pounding in my head hadn’t subsided from the last bout of laughter I’d let out.
@jackalltimelow who’s that? She looks awfully trampy. Slutslutslut. ;)
I quickly typed my response to him, knowing he would wake up and suffer through the same laughter-then-pain thing I’d gone through when stalking his texts to my best friend.
Karma was a bitch, and so was Clara with a hangover.
“It’s for you,” Jack muttered, handing his phone to me as he stumbled into the living room, where I was currently sat with another coffee and some work. It had been a couple of hours since I’d woken up and Jack had slept way later than I’d expected, hence me dragging my work out of my bag and watching TV. I’d actually managed to shower and get dressed in the meantime too. I eyed him suspiciously, but took the phone as he stumbled back toward his bedroom. I suppressed a chuckle seeing him beyond bleary, before putting his phone to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Clara, it’s May,” the voice said from the other end of the phone. I froze, not sure what to say. I’d never actually spoken to her, so I had no idea what she wanted. I mean, I wasn’t going to freak out, but I hadn’t ever spoken to any of Jack’s family. I knew from the stories every told that they were pretty funny, with the same humour as Jack, but I hadn’t actually experienced that for myself yet.
“Uh, hi May.”
“So, I’m totally planning Thanksgiving with Joe,” she started, while I was still tense. I could tell already that she was as easy going as Jack (as promised), so she probably had no idea I was flipping out.
“Okay…”
“And Jack won’t tell us if we’re setting a place for you or not, because he’s a little chicken shit who won’t ask you, so I’m asking for him.” I snorted into the phone. This is exactly what I’d been told to expect from her, so I wasn’t surprised. “And don’t say ‘oh, I’m not sure if Jack wants me there’ because he does, and so do all of us. So, Chicago for Thanksgiving, yes or no?”
“Well, if you’re sure you want me there, I guess I can swing it,” I laughed, relaxing back into the sofa. I may have had a running engagement with my family for Thanksgiving, but I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind too much. I’d still do Christmas. Oh. That was a good plan. Jack could come too. “But I call dibs on him for Christmas in Washington.”
“Totally fair. We’ll do a mini-Christmas a couple of weeks before, it’ll be great.”
“Deal.”
“Great, put him back on.”
“Jack!” I called, pulling the phone away from my ear. “We’re done arranging your time, you can have your sister back!” I heard May chuckling through the phone as he walked meekly back into the room, much more awake than he had been before, taking his phone back from my hand. I grinned up at him and he relaxed a little, putting his phone to his ear.
“Yeah, I know, she’s pretty brilliant,” Jack said into the phone, winking at me as he left the room again. I laughed again, leaning back into the sofa with my coffee while Jack continued his conversation in the other room. Before long, the muttering stopped and he returned to the room, sitting down next to me and taking a drink of the coffee I offered him.
“So, I’m meeting your family in three weeks,” I said, raising my eyebrows at him. He groaned lightly, leaning back against the arm of the sofa.
“She’s been bugging me for weeks to meet you,” he sighed.
“If you don’t think you’re ready for that, I totally understand. I agreed only as long as you were happy for me to be there.” I smiled reassuringly, though beginning to feel a little insecure. I would be ecstatic for him to meet my family and for them to love him like I do. I mean, sure, I was nervous Marky would hate him for the sake of hating him, but the chance that they would love him was far outweighing the fear that they wouldn’t. He grabbed my hand, squeezing to get my attention as I was becoming more and more lost in thought.
“Of course I want you there. I mean, shit, I told 18,000 people I was in love with you. Plus, apparently, the entire internet. I just didn’t want to push it too much, you know? If I was any more awake, you wouldn’t have been given that phone at all for her to pester you.”
“Well, be glad I was. I’ve been plotting with your sister.”
“Yeah, I heard you ‘called dibs’ on me for Christmas. You really want your badass big brother to meet me?”
“Yes, my weedy big brother is definitely going to meet you. I should probably actually warn my mom you’re coming though.”
“Do it. I’m gonna go shower, then we can go out for dinner?”
“Definitely.” I kissed him quickly as he stood up, making his way back into his bedroom. I sighed lightly, picking up my own phone from the coffee table and opening up my contacts.
I didn’t know how my mother was going to react, but I supposed I’d better get it out of the way while Jack wasn’t here.
“Clara!” My mother squealed, answering the phone after only a couple of rings.
“Hi, mom.”
“I feel like I haven’t spoken to you in forever. How are you? What’s been going on? How’s Tammy?”
“I’m fine, mom,” I laughed. Her excitement was amusing, and probably where I got my geeky, over-the-top obsessions from. “Tammy is also fine. How’s dad? Are you guys okay up there?”
“We’re fine. Same old, same old. You’re the one in an exciting new place.”
“It’s hardly new now. I’ve been here like four months. Work is work, Tammy is Tammy.”
“So, what’s going on? Why did you call?”
“Can’t I ring my own mother without a reason?”
“Clara…”
“Okay, uh, how do you feel about having an extra guest at Christmas?” I asked, biting my lip nervously. I didn’t want her to absolutely flip out but I needed forewarn her Jack would be coming, since I’d been invited to Thanksgiving with his family. Like I said, I didn’t know how she would react to this.
“Oh, my God, are you bringing Tammy again?” I could hear the laughter in her voice, knowing she would welcome Tammy to our Christmas celebrations in a heartbeat. She was basically a second daughter to my mother at this point.
“No, I haven’t even asked what she’s doing for Christmas yet,” I admitted. “I was just, um, oh fuck, I-“
“Language, Clara.”
“Sorry,” I muttered, trying to actually get the words out. “Okay,” I took a breath, “I was hoping I could bring my boyfriend to meet you.”
“What boyfriend? A month ago you hadn’t even met anyone, now there’s a boyfriend?” Her words didn’t sound harsh, merely inquisitive. I would admit that it definitely sounded a little strange from her perspective, but it didn’t help me.
“Well, okay, I may have exaggerated just how single I was in September. I’ve kind of been seeing him since July, but we weren’t on the best of terms when you guys came down and he wasn’t even in town so I figured it was best not to mention anything.” I heard her tutting through the phone and I knew she was pulling her ‘I’m so disappointed in you, Clara’ face.
“You didn’t need to lie to us, Clara.”
“I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t think there was a boyfriend to tell you about.”
“What’s his name?” She sighed. I felt a grin breaking out on my face, knowing she was going to let him come with me for Christmas.
“Jack. Mom, you’re gonna love him. He’s just really cute, and funny, and he’s in a really successful band, so he’s not a bum like you’ve said all of my other boyfriends were.” I heard her laughing through the phone at my words and my grin widened.
“How did you meet?”
“I was arguing with Tammy about wanting a Rapunzel towel and he was arguing with his friend about wanting a Pokémon towel.”
“He sounds perfect.”
“He is. I love him, mom, he’s incredible,” I gushed.
“Okay, okay, he can come for Christmas. I’ll tell your dad.” I squeaked excitedly.
Thank you!” Out of everything, I was genuinely most thankful she was going to tell my dad for me, I didn’t want to have to deal with that as well. “Oh, but, can we not tell Marky? I don’t want him to come in on Christmas day acting all macho already.”
“Stop calling him Marky,” my mother laughed. “You know he hates it.”
“It does not make him sound like a five-year-old,” I argued. My brother, admittedly, hated being called Marky and not Mark, because apparently he was far too old and mature to have such a childish name. “Besides, I like it.”
“If you don’t stop winding him up, he’s going to come in on Christmas day angry whether I tell him about Jack coming or not.” I snorted, knowing she was right, but having a difficult time thinking of any way to interact with him that didn’t wind him up. Honestly, I’d spent my life perfecting the art of annoying him, so that was what came naturally to me.
“Okay, I promise I’ll try to stop winding him up.”
“After twenty-five years, I’m pretty sure that’s the best I can ask for. I’m going to have to go anyway, Clara. I’ll see you at Thanksgiving.”
“Um, actually, mom, I’m going to be in Chicago for Thanksgiving,” I told her sheepishly. I was hoping to slip it into conversation unnoticed, or at least via text message, but clearly that wasn’t going to happen.
“And just why are you in Chicago?”
“Um, I’m kind of spending it with Jack and his family.” I heard her tutting again and cringed. What did she expect? That there’d be no give and take between Jack and I? I wasn’t going to steal him for a holiday without giving something back.
“Fine. I’m not happy, because I haven’t seen you in too long, but fine. Enjoy your time, sweetie. I’ll speak to you later.” I said my goodbyes, sighing as I ended the call. That had actually gone a lot better than I’d expected it to.