A Story to Tell Your Friends
Forty-Two.
“Mom! Dad! I’m home!” I threw our bags on the floor by the staircase, Jack putting his much more softly by my own. I tried not to laugh, seeing how he and I had switched roles since Thanksgiving. He was by no means as scary nervous as I had been, but I could see the discomfort underneath his calm exterior. “Hey, babe, it’s just my parents today. Mom is legit on your side already and dad will just be happy I’m not bringing Tammy back again.” He let out a laugh, but before I could bolster his confidence any more, my parents came pattering through from the kitchen.
“Clara!” I hugged my mom, quickly moving on to my dad before returning to Jack. I knew how it had felt to be the outsider in a family moment, so I made sure I was as quick as I could be. We had at least 4 days here to catch up and do family shit, so I figured I’d make sure Jack was involved as early as possible. “You must be Jack,” my mom smiled, greeting him before I could even attempt to start the introduction myself. “It’s so nice to meet you. I wish we could have met when we were last in town.” I cringed visibly at her words, knowing Jack and I had not been on particularly good terms back then, but she ignored me and gave Jack a hug to greet him. She was a hugger, what could I say?
“Me too, but I was all over the place back then. I’m sure Clara told you.” He flashed her his wide grin and I felt myself relaxing, knowing he could at least hide his nerves better than I could.
“Yes, something about being on tour with some band,” she nodded, grinning.
“Excuse me, hold up,” I interrupted before Jack or my father could say anything. “’Some band’, mother? Really? That’s what you’re going with?”
“You know I don’t pay attention to that sort of thing,” she waved me off and I scowled. “Come on through, you two. It’s late and I made dinner.” I took a deep breath in through my nose and groaned happily.
“You made lasagne.” She nodded and I grinned widely, all but pushing past my parents through to the dining room. If you hadn’t noticed, I had a thing for Italian food. None of my family were Italian, it wasn’t that, I think I just really liked cheese.
“This isn’t new to you, is it?” My mom asked Jack as I made my way straight to the kitchen and sat on the bar stool at the island.
“Not even slightly. The first time we went out, I had to bribe her with pizza,” he laughed back to her. I rolled my eyes, not sure how that would go for me. My parents jumped on anything that they could mock me with. If they thought that I actively rejected guys until they promised me food, I would be getting shit for years. They’re a lot less funny than they think they are.
“Didn’t happen. I still refused to go out with you until Tammy agreed I was okay to leave her in the middle of our girly catch up night,” I told him. He raised his eyebrows at me, a smirk on his face that said he didn’t believe me for a second.
“I distinctly remember getting an ‘I’m busy’ text before offering you pizza and miraculously you were free.”
“Not what happened. Bite me.” He chuckled as he took the seat next to mine, my dad sitting on the other side of me and as my mother began to dish out our food. I loved being home. I mean, I adored living on my own because I didn’t have to explain myself and my whereabouts and whatever but coming home and immediately having my mother preparing my dinner and looking out for me was so nice. I was a big baby, sue me.
“Clara, be nice,” my mother scolded me. I rolled my eyes. She didn’t realise that Jack and I were more than happy to joke at each other’s expense, neither of us taking offence. She had scolded me for being ‘mean’ since before I hit puberty. It was as if she didn’t think I knew my limits.
“Fine,” I sighed. “But you’d better be feeding me soon.”
“Five minutes.” I groaned happily, leaning back with my head on Jack’s shoulder. I didn’t realise how hungry I actually was until now. We hadn’t eaten on the plane, but had instead eaten before take-off, which had been noon east coast time. It was now past seven on the west coast. I was hungry as shit. “You’re not vegetarian or anything are you, Jack?” My mom paused, one hand holding an empty plate, the other holding a spatula about to dig into the lasagne once again. “I know what Clara is like for forgetting to tell us things.”
“Mom.” She waved the spatula to wave off my embarrassed teenager spiel.
“No,” he chuckled in response. “I’m worse than she is. I’ll eat anything.” I rolled my eyes once again, knowing that he was in my mother’s good books already. He was going to mock me as relentlessly as always, with a smile to my mother. This bitch was playing me.
“Yeah, I forget everything. Hilarious, guys.”
“Aw, cutie, you know we love you.”
“Don’t ‘cutie’ me,” I pouted, trying not to give away my amusement. “You’re all awful to me.”
“Oh, sweetheart, we all love you, stop being so dramatic,” my mother told me, beginning to push plates toward us all. I kept my mouth shut now, beginning to eat before my stomach could start making god awful noises and embarrass me any more than I’d already done for myself.
“Where’s Marky?”
“He’s at home tonight. He’ll be here tomorrow.”
“What, so his baby sister coming home isn’t enough to drag him off his couch? Dick move.”
“Clara!” I rolled my eyes, looking over at Jack to see him suppressing his smile. “Your brother has been at work. He’s coming to see you first thing in the morning.”
“If you say so,” I sniffed, trying to pretend I was still annoyed. Honestly, I was just an asshole at home and everyone knew it.
You’re missing mom’s cooking, asshat.
I shot off a text to my brother, tilting my phone away from the others, though Jack could see exactly what I was saying.
“I’m glad my siblings were way older than me,” he chuckled back. “May and Joe argued like you and Marky.” I smiled sweetly, putting my phone on the counter in front of me and returning to what was left of my food.
“They were awful as teenagers,” my mother assured him. “I know I shouldn’t say this, but I’m glad they don’t both live here anymore.”
“Mom!”
Jack chuckled once more next to me as I scowled at my mother. I knew Marky and I were a pain in the ass sometimes (read: all the time), but she had to at least pretend she missed us being home.
I miss my bed more. Fuck off.
I sent a handful of kissy face emojis back to him, knowing he would ignore me regardless of what I sent to him, but the sarcastic bitch of a sister that I was continued to shine through.
“So, what is it you do exactly, Jack?” My dad asked, having finally finished his meal and beginning to start his usual assessment of whatever boy I brought to meet him. He’d been doing this since I was 13.
“I play guitar in a band.”
“In Tammy’s favourite band,” I corrected, pushing the fact that he wasn’t just a guy who bummed around waiting for his big break. I knew it was slightly wrong of me, but I knew my dad. He had high expectations and I wanted them to love Jack just as much as I did.
“I thought you looked familiar,” my mom frowned. “Clara, don’t you have a poster of hi—”
“I swear to God,” I interrupted. “If I don’t go the next five minutes without you embarrassing me, I’m going back to LA.”
“So, you have a poster of me?” Jack smirked. I groaned loudly, trying my best not to just hit my head off the countertop in front of me. “’I’m not a fan of All Time Low, Jack’,” he mimicked, his smirk broadening with every mocking word.
“I’m definitely not a current fan of you,” I retorted. My mother went to scold me once again, but Jack merely laughed at me, pulling me into a one-armed hug.
“It’s okay, cutie, I know you secretly had a thing for me since before you hit puberty.”
“I thought we were clear on the fact that horny teenaged me had a thing for Alex.” I looked at him, not smiling, trying to pull off being serious.
“Say that once more so I can send the video to Lisa.” A smile broke onto my face at his words, thankful he wasn’t the insecure type. I don’t think our relationship would have gotten this far if either of us were overly sensitive to inappropriate jokes.
An hour later, Jack and I were lagging. We had just barely begun to get used to east coast time, and now we were back on the west coast. It was barely 9pm, but according to our body clocks, it was going on midnight. My parents had already warmed to Jack more than I could have hoped. My mother was always going to love him, but he’d begun to bond with my dad over football and classic rock and so I knew my dad was going to love him before the end of this trip. I supposed Jack and I laughing with each other didn’t hurt the matter either. My dad was my dad, so he was always going to be overprotective, but he had made it clear more than once that all he wanted was to see me with someone who made me happy. It didn’t take much for people to see that Jack made me happy.
“We’re gonna head up,” I told my mom, yawning loudly behind my hand once more, while silently asking here where in the fuck Jack was supposed to be sleeping. I’d never been in this particular situation before, so I had no idea how my parents would react to my having a boyfriend over. Would he be on the sofa? In Marky’s old room? My room? Who the fuck knew?
“Alright, sweetie,” she said, hugging me quickly. “No funny business, alright? I know you’re a grown up, but not in my house.” I chuckled awkwardly, taking that to mean Jack would be sharing with me, which I was grateful for.
“Okay, no funny business,” I conceded. “Night, mom. Night, dad.” Jack said his goodnights to my parents as well, before helping me put our bags upstairs. I grabbed my pyjamas, running to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth before returning to my room, where Jack was sat in his boxers, ready for bed.
“You had to have this poster, didn’t you?” He asked, raising his eyebrows at me as he pointed to the small A4 poster I had of the guys, nestled somewhere between Fall Out Boy and Blink. I rolled my eyes, not even bothering to look at the poster, knowing without looking that it was the one of the guys in their underwear.
“Did you expect it to be from your reasonably mature days?” I snorted. “I told you, I was a fan of the first couple of albums before I lost track of you. For the sake of my reputation, I wasn’t going to hang a poster any more recent than So Wrong It’s Right. I was trying to shed my emo weight by the time Nothing Personal came out.”
“If you say so,” he snorted. I rolled my eyes once more but continued to smile at him. I shut out the lights quickly, before getting under the covers.
“Besides, I spent many a year deciding just how many pairs of socks you guys shoved down your pants for that shoot,” I told him, nestling into his side.
“Do I need to prove that I didn’t need any socks in my pants?”
“No funny business, Jack,” I responded, not even looking at him as I repeated my mother’s words.
“Stop discussing my penis then.”
“Gross,” I muttered.
“Go to sleep, cutie,” he said, pushing a kiss to the top of my head. “I love you.”
“Love you too,” I responded, snuggling yet closer to him before I began to drift off to sleep.
“Clara!” I hugged my mom, quickly moving on to my dad before returning to Jack. I knew how it had felt to be the outsider in a family moment, so I made sure I was as quick as I could be. We had at least 4 days here to catch up and do family shit, so I figured I’d make sure Jack was involved as early as possible. “You must be Jack,” my mom smiled, greeting him before I could even attempt to start the introduction myself. “It’s so nice to meet you. I wish we could have met when we were last in town.” I cringed visibly at her words, knowing Jack and I had not been on particularly good terms back then, but she ignored me and gave Jack a hug to greet him. She was a hugger, what could I say?
“Me too, but I was all over the place back then. I’m sure Clara told you.” He flashed her his wide grin and I felt myself relaxing, knowing he could at least hide his nerves better than I could.
“Yes, something about being on tour with some band,” she nodded, grinning.
“Excuse me, hold up,” I interrupted before Jack or my father could say anything. “’Some band’, mother? Really? That’s what you’re going with?”
“You know I don’t pay attention to that sort of thing,” she waved me off and I scowled. “Come on through, you two. It’s late and I made dinner.” I took a deep breath in through my nose and groaned happily.
“You made lasagne.” She nodded and I grinned widely, all but pushing past my parents through to the dining room. If you hadn’t noticed, I had a thing for Italian food. None of my family were Italian, it wasn’t that, I think I just really liked cheese.
“This isn’t new to you, is it?” My mom asked Jack as I made my way straight to the kitchen and sat on the bar stool at the island.
“Not even slightly. The first time we went out, I had to bribe her with pizza,” he laughed back to her. I rolled my eyes, not sure how that would go for me. My parents jumped on anything that they could mock me with. If they thought that I actively rejected guys until they promised me food, I would be getting shit for years. They’re a lot less funny than they think they are.
“Didn’t happen. I still refused to go out with you until Tammy agreed I was okay to leave her in the middle of our girly catch up night,” I told him. He raised his eyebrows at me, a smirk on his face that said he didn’t believe me for a second.
“I distinctly remember getting an ‘I’m busy’ text before offering you pizza and miraculously you were free.”
“Not what happened. Bite me.” He chuckled as he took the seat next to mine, my dad sitting on the other side of me and as my mother began to dish out our food. I loved being home. I mean, I adored living on my own because I didn’t have to explain myself and my whereabouts and whatever but coming home and immediately having my mother preparing my dinner and looking out for me was so nice. I was a big baby, sue me.
“Clara, be nice,” my mother scolded me. I rolled my eyes. She didn’t realise that Jack and I were more than happy to joke at each other’s expense, neither of us taking offence. She had scolded me for being ‘mean’ since before I hit puberty. It was as if she didn’t think I knew my limits.
“Fine,” I sighed. “But you’d better be feeding me soon.”
“Five minutes.” I groaned happily, leaning back with my head on Jack’s shoulder. I didn’t realise how hungry I actually was until now. We hadn’t eaten on the plane, but had instead eaten before take-off, which had been noon east coast time. It was now past seven on the west coast. I was hungry as shit. “You’re not vegetarian or anything are you, Jack?” My mom paused, one hand holding an empty plate, the other holding a spatula about to dig into the lasagne once again. “I know what Clara is like for forgetting to tell us things.”
“Mom.” She waved the spatula to wave off my embarrassed teenager spiel.
“No,” he chuckled in response. “I’m worse than she is. I’ll eat anything.” I rolled my eyes once again, knowing that he was in my mother’s good books already. He was going to mock me as relentlessly as always, with a smile to my mother. This bitch was playing me.
“Yeah, I forget everything. Hilarious, guys.”
“Aw, cutie, you know we love you.”
“Don’t ‘cutie’ me,” I pouted, trying not to give away my amusement. “You’re all awful to me.”
“Oh, sweetheart, we all love you, stop being so dramatic,” my mother told me, beginning to push plates toward us all. I kept my mouth shut now, beginning to eat before my stomach could start making god awful noises and embarrass me any more than I’d already done for myself.
“Where’s Marky?”
“He’s at home tonight. He’ll be here tomorrow.”
“What, so his baby sister coming home isn’t enough to drag him off his couch? Dick move.”
“Clara!” I rolled my eyes, looking over at Jack to see him suppressing his smile. “Your brother has been at work. He’s coming to see you first thing in the morning.”
“If you say so,” I sniffed, trying to pretend I was still annoyed. Honestly, I was just an asshole at home and everyone knew it.
You’re missing mom’s cooking, asshat.
I shot off a text to my brother, tilting my phone away from the others, though Jack could see exactly what I was saying.
“I’m glad my siblings were way older than me,” he chuckled back. “May and Joe argued like you and Marky.” I smiled sweetly, putting my phone on the counter in front of me and returning to what was left of my food.
“They were awful as teenagers,” my mother assured him. “I know I shouldn’t say this, but I’m glad they don’t both live here anymore.”
“Mom!”
Jack chuckled once more next to me as I scowled at my mother. I knew Marky and I were a pain in the ass sometimes (read: all the time), but she had to at least pretend she missed us being home.
I miss my bed more. Fuck off.
I sent a handful of kissy face emojis back to him, knowing he would ignore me regardless of what I sent to him, but the sarcastic bitch of a sister that I was continued to shine through.
“So, what is it you do exactly, Jack?” My dad asked, having finally finished his meal and beginning to start his usual assessment of whatever boy I brought to meet him. He’d been doing this since I was 13.
“I play guitar in a band.”
“In Tammy’s favourite band,” I corrected, pushing the fact that he wasn’t just a guy who bummed around waiting for his big break. I knew it was slightly wrong of me, but I knew my dad. He had high expectations and I wanted them to love Jack just as much as I did.
“I thought you looked familiar,” my mom frowned. “Clara, don’t you have a poster of hi—”
“I swear to God,” I interrupted. “If I don’t go the next five minutes without you embarrassing me, I’m going back to LA.”
“So, you have a poster of me?” Jack smirked. I groaned loudly, trying my best not to just hit my head off the countertop in front of me. “’I’m not a fan of All Time Low, Jack’,” he mimicked, his smirk broadening with every mocking word.
“I’m definitely not a current fan of you,” I retorted. My mother went to scold me once again, but Jack merely laughed at me, pulling me into a one-armed hug.
“It’s okay, cutie, I know you secretly had a thing for me since before you hit puberty.”
“I thought we were clear on the fact that horny teenaged me had a thing for Alex.” I looked at him, not smiling, trying to pull off being serious.
“Say that once more so I can send the video to Lisa.” A smile broke onto my face at his words, thankful he wasn’t the insecure type. I don’t think our relationship would have gotten this far if either of us were overly sensitive to inappropriate jokes.
An hour later, Jack and I were lagging. We had just barely begun to get used to east coast time, and now we were back on the west coast. It was barely 9pm, but according to our body clocks, it was going on midnight. My parents had already warmed to Jack more than I could have hoped. My mother was always going to love him, but he’d begun to bond with my dad over football and classic rock and so I knew my dad was going to love him before the end of this trip. I supposed Jack and I laughing with each other didn’t hurt the matter either. My dad was my dad, so he was always going to be overprotective, but he had made it clear more than once that all he wanted was to see me with someone who made me happy. It didn’t take much for people to see that Jack made me happy.
“We’re gonna head up,” I told my mom, yawning loudly behind my hand once more, while silently asking here where in the fuck Jack was supposed to be sleeping. I’d never been in this particular situation before, so I had no idea how my parents would react to my having a boyfriend over. Would he be on the sofa? In Marky’s old room? My room? Who the fuck knew?
“Alright, sweetie,” she said, hugging me quickly. “No funny business, alright? I know you’re a grown up, but not in my house.” I chuckled awkwardly, taking that to mean Jack would be sharing with me, which I was grateful for.
“Okay, no funny business,” I conceded. “Night, mom. Night, dad.” Jack said his goodnights to my parents as well, before helping me put our bags upstairs. I grabbed my pyjamas, running to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth before returning to my room, where Jack was sat in his boxers, ready for bed.
“You had to have this poster, didn’t you?” He asked, raising his eyebrows at me as he pointed to the small A4 poster I had of the guys, nestled somewhere between Fall Out Boy and Blink. I rolled my eyes, not even bothering to look at the poster, knowing without looking that it was the one of the guys in their underwear.
“Did you expect it to be from your reasonably mature days?” I snorted. “I told you, I was a fan of the first couple of albums before I lost track of you. For the sake of my reputation, I wasn’t going to hang a poster any more recent than So Wrong It’s Right. I was trying to shed my emo weight by the time Nothing Personal came out.”
“If you say so,” he snorted. I rolled my eyes once more but continued to smile at him. I shut out the lights quickly, before getting under the covers.
“Besides, I spent many a year deciding just how many pairs of socks you guys shoved down your pants for that shoot,” I told him, nestling into his side.
“Do I need to prove that I didn’t need any socks in my pants?”
“No funny business, Jack,” I responded, not even looking at him as I repeated my mother’s words.
“Stop discussing my penis then.”
“Gross,” I muttered.
“Go to sleep, cutie,” he said, pushing a kiss to the top of my head. “I love you.”
“Love you too,” I responded, snuggling yet closer to him before I began to drift off to sleep.