Days of Black and Gold

Startled by my alarm, I sat up pin straight and looked around the room. Realising I was the only one in the room, I quickly shut of the annoying beeps and slung my legs over the side of the bed. Being naked from the night before, I shuffled over to Sidney’s closet and pulled one of his tee-shirts over my body. I made a quick stop at the guest room and slipped on a pair of boy shorts, before venturing into the kitchen, where I found Sidney getting ready for his day.

“Hey,” I spoke, running a hand through my hair.

“Hey.” A grin graced his face as he walked over to me. “How are you?”

“Good,” I smiled, taking in his fresh scent.

“You look hot,” he smirked, lifting me up by my hips and placing me on the counter. “Is that mine?”

“I hope that’s okay,” I muttered, looking down at the plain white cotton.

Sidney’s brow cocked, stepped between my legs and he placed a hand on either side of my face. “Of course,” he mumbled, before kissing my lips. “I could get used to seeing you like this.”

“I could get used to waking up like this,” I admitted. “Where are you off to?”

“Morning skate. Make yourself at home while I’m gone.”

I nodded, straightening the collar of his button down. “I’ll find something to do.”

“Good,” he grinned, lifting my chin so he could look into my eyes. A few seconds of silence passed before he connected our lips again, this time in a deeper, more passionate kiss.

When he broke away, I was glad I was sitting. I was certain my legs wouldn’t have held me up.

“I don’t want to go,” he whispered, kissing my neck.

“Sid,” I moaned, knowing I had to stop him before he got carried away. “You need to go to work.”

“I know,” he sighed, stepping away from me. “I’ll see you in about an hour.”

“I’ll be here,” I told him, hopping off the granite and following him to the door. “I’m very excited about the game tonight. You better kick some Capital’s ass.”

“We plan to,” he said, kissing my cheek before leaving.

Turning away from the door, I stared at the empty rooms in front of me. Remembering that he had a workout room, I made my way through the hall to the spare room and changed into a pair of workout shorts and a sports bra.

I spent half an hour on the elliptical before calling it quits. Hunger growling from my stomach told me it was a good idea.

Not bothering to change, I tossed a towel over my shoulders and went back to the kitchen. I poured water into the kettle, and started it, planning to make a pot of Earl Grey. Pulling out a container of eggs and some vegetables, I started preparing an omelet.

The music in my ears was causing me to dance around, and I was sure that if anyone saw me, they would think I was insane.

As I turned to find a whisk for the eggs, movement caught the corner of my eye, causing me to stop in my tracks and pull the earphones from my ears.

“Hello?” An older woman raised a brow and took in my appearance, while an older man just chuckled at the sight of me dancing and singing loudly.

“Hi,” I mumbled, grabbing the towel from my shoulders and holding it in front on my bare stomach. “Uh, sorry, Sid’s not here?”

“We know,” the man smiled. “He’ll be on his way soon.”

“Right,” I said, timidly. “I’m just going to go throw a shirt on.” Stalking off, I mentally hit myself for being so casual around a place I was new to. I quickly slipped an oversized sweater over my torso and made my way back to the unexpected company.

“You must be Margot.”

“Yeah, that’s me,” I confirmed, sticking out my hand for the man to shake. “I’m guessing you’re Sid’s parents?”

“That’s correct,” the woman spoke, still holding a displeased look on her face.

“Troy,” Sidney’s father offered. “And this is Trina.”

I forced a smile, and nodded. “Do you want some tea? I just finished making a pot, but haven’t found the mugs yet.”

“The corner cupboard,” Troy instructed. “We’d love a cup of tea.”

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t know you were coming, and Sid told me to make myself at home. I don’t usually wear a lot of clothing when I workout. I have a bike in my house, so I don’t really have to go out in public.” I kept blabbering as I poured tea into three mugs, and handed two to Troy and Trina. “I would have been more alert if I had known.”

“It’s alright,” Troy smiled. “We sprang it on Sidney this morning.”

I sent another forced smile in their direction, and glanced at my phone as it lit up. Relieved that it was Sidney, letting me know he would be home in ten minutes, I let out a heavy breath and gripped onto the countertop.

“Are you okay?” Troy asked, standing from the chair he had occupied while drinking his tea.

“I’m just a little warm,” I explained. “I get a bit anxious from time to time.”

“Do you have medication I can grab for you?”

“I usually have a smoke,” I confessed, breathing deeply.

“Sidney didn’t tell us his girlfriend smoked,” Trina piped up.

“He doesn’t know,” I muttered.

“Where are your cigarettes, darling?”

“I’m fine,” I breathed.

“You look like you’re going to pass out,” Troy stated. “Where are they?”

“The black purse on the counter,” I told him.

He pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. “Come on.”

“Sid will be here soon,” I tried to argue, as the man wrapped an arm around my shoulders and steered me out the door.

“Here,” he said, handing the items over. “Light it.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, taking a drag. “I really only smoke when anxiety hits.”

“I can see why,” he chuckled, noticing my more relaxed stance. “When did you start?”

“I had a few in high school, but that was more recreational. Friend offers one, and you take it. I went through my entire undergraduate degree without a single smoke, but once I graduated, it hit me. I had to start working in the real world. The anxiety hit, and one day I bought a pack. They worked great as I went through massage therapy schooling, and then started working for the Capitals.

“Even then, I was only smoking when I felt an anxiety attack coming on. So, maybe two or three times a month, at the most. And I know I have to tell Sidney, but I’m worried about how he will react, especially once he finds out how often I’ve been smoking lately.”

“He’ll come around,” Troy assured me as a vehicle pulled up to the house.

“Shit,” I muttered, looking for a place to extinguish the cigarette.

“Don’t put it out,” he said.

“Sid will find out.”

“Let him. I’ll back you.”

“That’s not necessary,” I argued.

“We were all young, Margot, but we weren’t all famous.”

“Margot? Dad?”

“Son,” Troy smiled, pulling Sidney into a hug. “How was practice?”

“Good,” Sidney frowned. “What are you two doing out here? Wait, is that a cigarette?”

“Uh, yeah,” I grumbled, avoiding his eyes.

“You smoke?”

“No, well, yes, obviously. But it is only to help with my anxiety.”

“How often do you get anxious?”

“Maybe once or twice a month. Although, it’s been a bit more often lately.”

“What do you mean ‘lately’?”

“I’ve had three since I’ve been on vacation,” I cringed, already knowing what he was going to conclude. “Once in Philly. It hit me after the game, what I was doing. I had literally dropped everything and came to visit you. And then my mother called, so that didn’t help.”

“When else?” He asked. “Because you’ve been with me since Philly.”

“The event last night.”

“How did I miss that?”

“When you were talking with Mario and Pascal, I slipped outside. There were a lot of people, and I am not a people person.”

“You didn’t smell like smoke.”

“I’ve gotten very good at hiding the scent,” I shrugged. “And this is the last time.”

“Okay,” he nodded, stepping around his father and entering the house.

“What just happened?” I wondered, frowning at the door.

“I think he just needs time to process the news.”

“I just wish he would understand that it isn’t his fault. I know that’s what he is thinking, anyone would think the same thing. I would stop, if he asked me to. That’s how much the anxiety attacks have nothing to do with him, but instead with all the changes that have been happening.”

“Give him time.”

“He’s supposed to take me to the rink early, so I can see the team I work with. Do you think he will come around before that?”

“I’m not sure,” Troy admitted. “But we better get you inside before you freeze your legs off.”

Agreeing, I followed him back into the house. The air felt tense, and I could see Sidney having a hushed conversation with his mother.

“I’m just going to go shower and change,” I mumbled, not sure that anyone was paying attention.

The cool shower felt great when it came to washing away the sweat that had become sticky, but my mind was still stuck on Sidney’s reaction. Was he really that angry about a life choice that didn’t truly effect him?

Throwing my hair up into a towel, I pulled on a pair of dark wash jeans and a light denim button up shirt. I hooked a golden chain around my neck before letting my hair fall from the towel. Deciding to let my hair air dry, I tousled it lightly, and studied myself in the mirror, fiddling with the gold band on my right hand.

“Margot?”

I turned my head to look at the door. Forcing a smile, I waved the brunette in. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

We stood, awkwardly staring at each other. Neither of us wanting to make the first move.

“Do you want to sit?” Sidney asked, pointing to the bed.

“Sure,” I nodded, taking a seat at the end of the bed. “I’m sorry I never told you sooner.”

“It’s fine, Margot.” He placed a hand on mine. “I just wasn’t expecting it, and I’m surprised you never said anything all those times we talked.”

“I’m not exactly proud of the way I relieve anxiety,” I stated. “It is an awful vice, and I know that. Also, I don’t want this to be something that tears us apart before we even have a chance to really start.”

“It won’t,” he promised.

“Sid, if you need me to stop, I will.”

“And end up fainting anytime an attack comes on? I can’t ask you to do that.”

“I’ll see a doctor, get medication, whatever needs to be done to make this a non-issue.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, Margot. It’s not really my place.”

“Do you care about me?”

“I do, a lot.”

“Then it sort of is your place. Honestly, Sid, I haven’t had someone care enough about to have me actually see a professional about it. I’ve been using cigarettes for years.”

“Your parents didn’t want you to do anything different?”

“I haven’t spent a lot of time with them since I moved to Washington. I don’t know that they are aware I still have the occasional smoke.”

“When did you start?”

“Recreationally, in high school, but I stopped in university. In the small gap between university and massage therapy school, I had a really bad attack as I walked down the street. There was a convenience store across the road, so I went in and bought a pack. Since then, I’ve been able to tell when they were coming, and have been carrying cigarettes with me, just in case.”

“But, they don’t happen often?”

“Not usually. Once I started with the Caps, things got a bit better. Maybe once a month, at most. I have been able to distract myself better when I am working, and also have a strict rule to never smoke at the rink.”

“You’re getting them a lot now, though.”

I sighed, and shifted so I was facing him. “They really have nothing to do with you, personally. The one in Philly was my brain telling me that I am probably insane for hopping on a plane to spend so much time with someone I met two months prior. The one yesterday was literally because there were so many people I didn’t know. And today, well, your parents surprised me. I wasn’t exactly ready for that.”

“I texted you to let you know.”

“I didn’t see it until after they arrived.”

“I had no idea.”

“How would you? I don’t really tell people. Last night, Cath caught me, so she knows.”

“She likely told Kris.”

“What can you do?” I shrugged. “I really don’t want this to be a thing we ignore. If it really bugs you, tell me.”

“It does, but I’m not going to ask you to stop. Just talk to me. Maybe I can help, maybe I can’t, but then at least you’ve tried.”

“I can do that,” I grinned, leaning my head on his shoulder. “I am truly sorry about not telling you.”

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know, Sid, I know.”