Days of Black and Gold
Staring at the Ceiling
“He, he knows.”
“Come in.” His words sounded echoed in my ears, and his hands gripping my shoulders felt disconnected. “Sit down.”
My vision was hazy as I followed his instructions and lowered myself onto the couch. I could feel my mouth moving, trying to form words, but nothing emerged except whimpers. The harsh Russian in the background seemed like nothing more than white noise as I sat in my sobbing trance.
“Margot, drink.”
I glanced up at the man, and held out a trembling hand, taking the mug. Lifting it to my lips, I took a few long, slow sip of what turned out to be a sweet orange flavoured chamomile tea.
“What happen?”
“I, she, Sid,” I sputtered, trying to find the right words.
“What did Sid do?”
I shook my head, and closed my eyes to try thinking more clearly. “My ex-girlfriend showed up.”
“Oh,” he breathed, suddenly getting an idea of what had happened. “Sid mad?”
“He’s pissed.” I hung my head in defeat. “He punched the wall, Geno.”
“You leave him alone?”
“He said he didn’t want to talk.”
“You leave him alone.”
“He knows you know.”
“Drag under bus, too.”
“And Kris.”
“You cruel woman.”
I sighed, wiping my face with the sleeve of my sweater. “I panicked, and just started spouting words. I really didn’t know what to say. He was so angry, Geno.”
“I send Tanger over to check on him.”
“He might murder Kris.”
“I warn him.”
“I need to find a hotel.”
“No, you stay here.”
“Geno, I can’t do that.”
“You stay here. No option.”
“Fine,” I surrendered, taking another long sip of tea. “Just when I thought my life was heading in the right direction.”
“He come around.”
“People keep saying that, but you didn’t see him when I left.”
“Sid have level head.”
“I also keep hearing that, but what if it doesn’t make a difference this time? What if I blew it?”
“You blew him,” Evgeni joked, earning a small smile from me. “That’s how you make babies.”
“Oh, Sweetie, if you think you made Nikita while your wife sucked on your dick, you are very mistaken. I would also be very concerned for the future children of Russia.”
“Not what I mean,” Evgeni mumbled, shaking his head. “Never mind. You feel better though?”
“I don’t feel great,” I admitted. “But thank you, your joking did make me smile.”
“Good, now we get you back with Sid.”
“He does not want to see me.”
“You so sure.”
“I should have told him earlier, I know that, but then it was one thing after another. The move, the thing with Alex, the pregnancy, the engagement. It all just happened, and I avoided telling him.”
“Thing with Alex?”
“No one told you.” I raised the mug to my lips again before quickly filling him in on Alex’s past attempts.
“I kill him,” he hissed.
“Let it go, Geno. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“What now?”
“I don’t know, Geno. I really don’t know.”
“You love Sid still?”
“Of course I do.”
“That a good start,” he smiled. “Where is ring?”
“I, uh, I left it at Sidney’s. I wasn’t sure what this meant for us, so I left it. He’ll give it back if marrying me is what he wants.”
“Is it what you want?”
“I can’t think of anything that would make me happier. Well, maybe for both babies to be healthy, too. I just don’t know that it’s going to happen. I royally fucked up this time.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” he shrugged, glancing at his phone. “Kris say Sid still pretty angry. Yelling about keeping secrets from him.”
“What is wrong with me? Why would I keep that from someone that I care so much about?”
“Not my expertise.”
“Thanks, Geno,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. “You really know how to make a girl feel better.”
“Come in.” His words sounded echoed in my ears, and his hands gripping my shoulders felt disconnected. “Sit down.”
My vision was hazy as I followed his instructions and lowered myself onto the couch. I could feel my mouth moving, trying to form words, but nothing emerged except whimpers. The harsh Russian in the background seemed like nothing more than white noise as I sat in my sobbing trance.
“Margot, drink.”
I glanced up at the man, and held out a trembling hand, taking the mug. Lifting it to my lips, I took a few long, slow sip of what turned out to be a sweet orange flavoured chamomile tea.
“What happen?”
“I, she, Sid,” I sputtered, trying to find the right words.
“What did Sid do?”
I shook my head, and closed my eyes to try thinking more clearly. “My ex-girlfriend showed up.”
“Oh,” he breathed, suddenly getting an idea of what had happened. “Sid mad?”
“He’s pissed.” I hung my head in defeat. “He punched the wall, Geno.”
“You leave him alone?”
“He said he didn’t want to talk.”
“You leave him alone.”
“He knows you know.”
“Drag under bus, too.”
“And Kris.”
“You cruel woman.”
I sighed, wiping my face with the sleeve of my sweater. “I panicked, and just started spouting words. I really didn’t know what to say. He was so angry, Geno.”
“I send Tanger over to check on him.”
“He might murder Kris.”
“I warn him.”
“I need to find a hotel.”
“No, you stay here.”
“Geno, I can’t do that.”
“You stay here. No option.”
“Fine,” I surrendered, taking another long sip of tea. “Just when I thought my life was heading in the right direction.”
“He come around.”
“People keep saying that, but you didn’t see him when I left.”
“Sid have level head.”
“I also keep hearing that, but what if it doesn’t make a difference this time? What if I blew it?”
“You blew him,” Evgeni joked, earning a small smile from me. “That’s how you make babies.”
“Oh, Sweetie, if you think you made Nikita while your wife sucked on your dick, you are very mistaken. I would also be very concerned for the future children of Russia.”
“Not what I mean,” Evgeni mumbled, shaking his head. “Never mind. You feel better though?”
“I don’t feel great,” I admitted. “But thank you, your joking did make me smile.”
“Good, now we get you back with Sid.”
“He does not want to see me.”
“You so sure.”
“I should have told him earlier, I know that, but then it was one thing after another. The move, the thing with Alex, the pregnancy, the engagement. It all just happened, and I avoided telling him.”
“Thing with Alex?”
“No one told you.” I raised the mug to my lips again before quickly filling him in on Alex’s past attempts.
“I kill him,” he hissed.
“Let it go, Geno. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“What now?”
“I don’t know, Geno. I really don’t know.”
“You love Sid still?”
“Of course I do.”
“That a good start,” he smiled. “Where is ring?”
“I, uh, I left it at Sidney’s. I wasn’t sure what this meant for us, so I left it. He’ll give it back if marrying me is what he wants.”
“Is it what you want?”
“I can’t think of anything that would make me happier. Well, maybe for both babies to be healthy, too. I just don’t know that it’s going to happen. I royally fucked up this time.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” he shrugged, glancing at his phone. “Kris say Sid still pretty angry. Yelling about keeping secrets from him.”
“What is wrong with me? Why would I keep that from someone that I care so much about?”
“Not my expertise.”
“Thanks, Geno,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. “You really know how to make a girl feel better.”