Endlessly

Emilia stared at the red door and found that she had never hated the color red more in her entire life.

It wasn't necessarily that she hated the color so much as she hated it on the front door of her mother's house. The very front door that she and her father had painted blue when they'd moved into the house. It had originally been a very ugly brown and so Niko had allowed his youngest daughter to choose the color since Essi had been allowed to choose her bedroom first. It had been a mighty victory to them six year old Emilia, despite Essi's claims otherwise.

Now she stared at this red door and wondered whether or not it would be possible for her to sneak in, grab her nephew, and get out without Tatiana noticing. She supposed it would be very unlikely.

"Are you knocking with your telekinetic powers or were you waiting for her to go get the mail and stumble upon us on the front step?"

She turned to elbow Ville, who was grinning devilishly, in the ribs. He dodged her quickly and shot his fist out to quickly knock on the door. She glared at him as soon as movement could be heard within the home. She was given a half apologetic smile accompanied by a shrug just before the door opened and revealed Tatiana.

The look on her face revealed the genuine surprise that Tatiana felt at seeing not only her youngest daughter but in the company of Ville Valo, no less. The last she knew, Ville was off on a tour of some kind and Emilia hadn't spoken to him in years.

"You didn't go back to Berlin?" Tatiana asked, confused. Emilia had probably not spent more than a few consecutive days in Helsinki in years.

Emilia tried very hard not to roll her eyes and issue a scathing remark to her mother. Instead she took a deep breath and fell back on her usual brand of sarcasm. "Good morning to you too, Mum. Mind if we come in? Its pretty cold out here."

Tatiana moved aside, offering Ville a kind smile and casting a warning look at her daughter as they all went inside the house. Tatiana led Emilia and Ville toward the kitchen where they found Osku playing on the floor with his trucks with a man that Ville didn't know, but assumed to be Tatiana's new husband.

Upon seeing guests, the dark haired man stood and immediately went to hug Emilia, who accepted it stiffly. The smile across the man's face flickered briefly but did not leave his eyes, signaling he did not miss Emilia's indifference to him. Tatiana didn't either and she gave her daughter a disapproving look which Emilia promptly ignored.

"Elijah, this is Ville. He's an old friend of mine," Emilia said as she beckoned for Ville to come to her side. "Ville, this is my step dad-"

"Elijah Nylund, nice to meet you." Elijah took Ville's hand and shook it. Ville almost laughed at Emilia's immediate eye roll at having been cut off.

"Nice to meet you as well."

"So Emilia, shall I assume this is why you've decided to grace us with your presence longer than normal?" Tatiana asked, gesturing to Ville. He didn't miss the coldness with which Emilia's mother addressed her.

"No, actually. Essi convinced me to come home for good, once I get all of Gram's things in order in Berlin," Emilia replied. She tried to soften her tone as best she could, despite her mother's snappy tone. She wished that they could have just gotten through the funeral without a fight, then maybe her mother wouldn't be acting the way she was.

"Well that's great news!" Elijah responded jovially before his wife could issue a backhanded remark. He'd been dealing with the aftershock from the disagreement between Tatiana and Emilia for days now, he had no intention of letting Emilia hear any of the things that he'd been listening to.

"Where will you be staying?" Tatiana asked, her demeanor less harsh but still decidedly guarded.

"With Es for a bit, I'll be going back to Germany after the holidays to get everything settled there and then I'll find a place here."

Tatiana nodded and walked over to her grandson. "Sweetheart, Auntie is going to take you home now. Run and grab your boots, okay?"

Osku turned his attention to Emilia, as though noticing her for the first time, and jumped up excitedly to hug her legs. Ville watched as she crouched down and gave the little boy a hug and half a dozen kisses before planting a raspberry on his cheek. He squealed in delight and scampered off into the other room to gather his things. Ville couldn't help but grin as he watched the exchange; he noticed that Tatiana couldn't help it either.

"I'm glad you'll be closer to him, he talks about you often," Tatiana said as she watched Osku run down the hall.

"I've missed out on enough of his life," Emilia remarked softly. The regret was evident in her voice and Ville couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt.

"Mummo! I can't find them!" Osku cried from the other room. Tatiana sighed and with a shake of her head, walked off to help him.

Elijah waited until Tatiana was well out of earshot before turning to Emilia with a whisper. "She'll defrost soon enough, she's just being stubborn after your disagreement."

'Disagreement' was putting it mildly. "It's not a big deal," Emilia answered with a shrug.

Suddenly, Ville's phone began ringing in his pocket for what felt like the thousandth time that day. He pulled it from his jeans and looked at the name flashing across the screen. Emilia looked at him expectantly and he gave her a smile.

"Work thing," he told her. "I'll be right back."

She nodded and he shuffled away quickly toward the pair of French doors that lead to the back porch. He went outside and made sure the door was closed behind him before he answered the incessant ring.

"Yes, Bam?"

"Dude, what the fuck! I've been calling you!"

Ville pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. He had, of course, known that Bam was trying to contact him and he suspected that he already knew why.

"Been a bit preoccupied, Bammie. What's up?"

"What do you mean, 'what's up?' She said she emailed you and you never responded. I thought you and Jonna hit it off?"

Ville pulled a cigarette from his pack and lit it, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. Prior to his return to Finland, he and the band had made a slight detour to Pennsylvania to see the one and only, Bam Margera. He'd organized some impromptu party and invited them all to drink their weight in liquor and maybe play a few songs. Ville's recollection of the entire experience was a bit hazy but there was one part he did remember.

Jonna Nguyen, a slender brunette that Bam had introduced to Ville that night. He'd loudly declared them to be soulmates and forced them into getting to know each other throughout the night. Ultimately, they'd gotten along and ended up in bed together. He recalled waking up the following morning, confused about who she was but she'd been cool about that part. They talked more over breakfast and parted amicably despite the awkwardness from Ville momentarily forgetting who she was.

"She's a nice girl, man. But I just-"

"You just what? I invited her to that party for you. You don't just fuck a girl like that and then never talk to her again."

"It's complicated, dude."

"Enlighten me."

Ville was about ready to reach through the phone and strangle his friend. Bam had an awful habit of getting involved where he shouldn't. While he appreciated that Bam was only trying to help, there needed to be a line drawn. He contemplated telling Bam about Emilia as that would surely enlighten him but he hardly needed to subject her to that particular facet of his life yet.

"The timing isn't right. She doesn't even live in Finland and I'm not going to live anywhere else."

"You're making excuses. Just call her, what's the worst that could happen?"

"Bam, I-"

"No excuses! Call her!"

Bam hung up on Ville, ending any chance for rebuttal that he might have had. Taking a long drag on his cigarette, he put the phone away and sighed deeply. He knew he should contact Jonna if for no other reason than to tell her that they would have to be just friends. She seemed like the type of girl who would understand that his heart was invested in someone else, after all it had only been one night that they'd spent together. Still, he couldn't find the courage within himself to confront her with that just yet.

Tossing the stub of the cigarette into the snow, Ville walked back inside and found a newly bundled Osku standing next to Emilia, waiting patiently. Emilia was engaged in what looked to be like a lecture from her mother, to which she seemed to be paying only partial attention.

"Who are you?" Osku asked.

Ville chuckled, it seemed that this child could only focus himself on so much at one time if he hadn't noticed his presence prior to this moment.

"I'm your Auntie's friend, Ville." He crouched down so that he was at eye level with the toddler. He watched as a pair of bright blue eyes appraised him for a moment and then Osku nodded.

"Okay, do you want to be the blue one or the yellow one?" Osku handed out his two trucks and offered one to Ville.

"Which is your favorite?"

"Yellow."

"Then I'll take blue."



"Your stepfather is nice," Ville commented as he closed the door to Essi's apartment behind him. They'd just finished dropping Osku off with his mother, to Ville's disappointment. He'd had fun with the little boy, though children weren't exactly his thing. Usually his encounters with kids ended with tears or with the child casually ignoring his existence.

"Too nice. At least he's more normal than some of her other boyfriends."

"How can someone be too nice?" He asked with a smirk at her cynicism as he followed her down the stairs and onto the sidewalk.

"He just is. He volunteers at church and at soup kitchens regularly, like - it's an actual part of his schedule to volunteer," she sneered as though it were a bad thing.

"Sounds like an awful person," Ville replied sarcastically, earning a glare from Emilia.

"He's just..."

"Not your dad?" Ville finished, citing the obvious reason for Emilia's distain toward Elijah.

He watched as she pursed her lips and turned her gaze away from his. "She just acts like he never existed. She never talks about him, all of his pictures are gone. She even painted the front door."

She watched as he raised an eyebrow at her comment. "The front door?"

Emilia ignored his question. "She told me she hasn't been to his grave since we buried him. My grandmother's funeral was the first time she'd been back there. He was her husband. The father of her children. And she's left him all alone up there all these years."

Ville walked in silence beside Emilia and gently took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers in a familiar way. "Is that what you fought about?" He asked her quietly.

She nodded, feeling tears stinging her eyes. "She should have visited him. Put flowers on his grave. Something."

Ville pulled her closer to him and he leaned over to kiss the top of her head. She leaned into him at first and then rapidly pulled away, taking her hand away as well. He frowned at first and wondered why she'd recoiled from him, but decided it was better to ignore it than push her.

He watched as she dabbed at her eyes and laughed at herself as though it were silly for her to feel the way she did. He contemplated saying more to try and comfort her but suddenly an idea popped into his head.

"Come on." He dashed down a side street, changing their direction. She had to jog a bit to keep up with his pace.

"Where are we going?" She asked, confused by the suddenness of his actions.

"To the hardware store."

"What for?"

"Paint. It used to be blue, right?"

Emilia stopped dead in her tracks and Ville turned to her, a grin plastered on his face that she couldn't help but mimic. She could hardly believe that she'd survived ten long years without the man who stood before her now.

"You're the best," she said finally as she walked to stand beside him. He offered her his hand again, which she now took as they made their way down the street.

"I've been told that once or twice," he joked.

"She's going to kill us if we get caught, you know."

"Then we'll wait until dark."

"Ville?" She pulled them to a stop once again.

"Yeah?"

She wrapped her arms around his waist and embraced him tightly, resting her head against his chest. He hoped his heart wasn't racing loudly enough for her to notice.

"Thank you."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her as well, resting his head on hers. "He's not forgotten, Em. I promise."

Her heart swelled within her chest and she detached herself enough to reach up and kiss Ville swiftly on the cheek. Not wanting to prolong the moment, she turned once again in the direction of the hardware store and jogged ahead. Ville, with his own heart feeling like a caged hummingbird, was left standing there.

"Race you there!" She challenged with a wicked grin.

"You know I can't run for shit, Em. I don't even have my inhaler with me."

"Oh are you scared you're gonna lose?" She taunted and he smirked.

"You're going to eat those words."