Endlessly

Ville stood beside Emilia in the darkness outside of Linde's home, watching as she braced herself for the coming reunion. She was nervous now, taking deep breaths to calm herself.

"You were hardly this amped up when you first saw me, I'm a little offended," Ville joked and she nudged him.

"You were a total and complete surprise for me, I didn't even have time to react much less get excited over it," she reasoned.

"I know, I know. Just teasing."

She eyed him and smirked. They stood outside of Linde's house, waiting in the shadows. Ville had called Mige and told him that he had major news and to meet him there but failed to call Linde to inform him of their arrival. They'd watched with quiet giggles as Linde greeted Mige in confusion.

"You ready?" He asked finally and she nodded, taking his hand for comfort as she had always been prone to doing. He gave a gentle squeeze before releasing it, not needing to give his friends the wrong idea about their visit.

As they walked up the path to the front door, Emilia began to tingle with the energy of her excitement. She'd understood Ville's silence, deep down, but she'd always felt wounded by the end of communication with Mige and Linde. Now knowing the reasoning behind it, she was now just anxious to see her old friends after so long.

Receiving an encouraging look from Ville, she knocked quickly and lightly on the door and waited to be greeted. They could hear people shuffling about inside in response to the knock and finally they heard the locks being fumbled with and the door began to open.

Linde was the one who answered the door and his face reflected first confusion, then recognition, and finally joy. Emilia couldn't help but grin at him as he took her into his arms.

"Son of a bitch!" He yelled causing someone to come running from within the house. Ville stood back laughing at his friend's reaction.

"What's going on out here?" Mige's voice erupted as he emerged in the doorway only to see Linde smothering another human being and Ville laughing about it. Ville gestured toward the fourth person and Linde released them. Her face popped out from around his body and Mige just about went into shock.

"You bastard," Mige said with a smile as he pointed at Ville before enveloping Emilia in a hug.

"Funny way to show your gratitude. I bring you a surprise and now I'm a bastard," Ville shrugged against the cold and made his way closer to the door, brushing Emilia's back with his hand as he passed her by. Linde gave him a knowing look, having seen the gesture, which Ville promptly ignored.

'So much for not giving them the wrong idea...' he thought as he entered the warmth that Linde's house offered.

Upon entering the living room, he noticed Manna sitting on the couch looking noticeably more pregnant than the last time he'd seen her. She offered him a warm smile.

"What was the big news?" She asked as she placed a hand on her belly. He took a seat in an armchair and got comfortable.

"An old friend of ours is back in town," Ville answered with a small smile. He heard the door close, indicating everyone coming to their senses and escaping the cold.

"Hm, I'd wager its who I think it is judging by the look on your face," she said with a sly grin as she began to wriggle off the couch. Ville rose quickly to aid her but she brushed him off with a wave of her hand. Manna was not one to take aid, he wondered at all if she would allow a doctor to deliver her baby or if she'd just see to matters herself.

Emilia walked into the room, flanked by Mige and Linde, and found herself being approached by a woman who could only be Linde's girlfriend judging by her round belly. The woman embraced her as though they were old friends and offered a friendly smile when they released each other.

"Emilia, I presume? I've heard a lot about you."

Somewhat shocked, Emilia nodded. "And you must be Mariam."

"Please ignore anything the boys may have told you about me, I've not been very kind to them during my pregnancy and I'm sure they're spreading vicious rumors," she laughed as she gestured for everyone to sit down. Manna opted for the armchair, giving everyone else the opportunity to crowd onto the couch.

"Oh I'm sure you've heard some things about me so we'll call it all a wash," Emilia laughed as she eyed the three men crowded around her.

"Only a few not so nice things," Mige defended.

"Enough about that, what are you doing back in Helsinki?" Linde asked as he pushed Mige back into the couch.

"Well, my grandmother passed away and wanted to be buried with her family so I had to come back for that. Then my sister and Osku, my nephew, convinced me to come back home for good."

"About damn time, Ville's been a mopey wreck for the past ten years," Mige laughed earning a swat from Ville.

"Have not."

Emilia chuckled at the sight of Ville's face and returned her attention to Linde who began speaking again.

"So tell us what you've been up to?"

"For the past ten years? Well I've been taking care of my grandmother, went to school, worked a few dead end jobs. That sort of thing, nothing as exciting as what you all have been up to. I'm pretty upset you never looked me up when you came to Germany."

"Well we wanted to but Ville wouldn't - ow!" Mige had earned another slap from Ville, this time rubbing his arm where the back of Ville's hand made contact.

Emilia grew quiet. She knew already of course that Ville had been the one to keep everyone away, but the consistent reminders wounded her heart.

"Well, I'm going to head up to bed," Manna broke the awkward silence and got up from her chair. "Emilia it was lovely to meet you. Since you're staying in Helsinki, we should get together sometime and chat. I'm sure we could exchange some interesting stories about these three."

"Absolutely!" Emilia grinned and got up to hug the other woman. Linde rose as well to give her a quick kiss before she left the four of them to a conversation Ville would much rather not have this evening.

"We're really sorry, Em. I don't think any of us-," Linde gave Ville a look. "-intended for this to go on for so long."

Emilia shrugged. "I didn't come home, I could hardly blame you all for not talking to me anymore. I would have been upset too."

"Yeah, but we shouldn't have just abandoned you the way we did. Maybe if we'd tried harder to get you to come home, none of this would have happened," Mige said.

Ville felt his agitation growing. This was hardly the time or the place for this and all of the roundabout blame being placed on his shoulders was growing tiresome.

"I doubt I would have listened at the time. I wasn't ready to be back. It took me almost four years before I even visited and by then you were already off being rockstars. You didn't need me coming in and giving you a reason to stay home."

"We would have taken you with us, like we always said."

"Mige, if you though I was a cockblock before, then I definitely would have been one on a tour bus. You'd have shipped me back to my grandmother after a week," Emilia chuckled.

"Tour van," Mige corrected.

"Either way, it's all in the past now. So let's move on, shall we?" Ville announced, having finally grown tired of the subject matter.

Linde eyed his friend, noticing the way his hands were clenched in his lap. "Well to wrap it up then, Emilia, we're very sorry and just happy to have you back."

"Agreed," Mige chimed as he took one of her hands in his and squeezed. "We missed our shadow."

She smiled at his reference, recalling the days she would tag along anywhere and everywhere the boys had gone. Leaning her head on Linde's shoulder, she sighed happily finally feeling that an emptiness that had long accompanied her was finally beginning to fill now that she had her friends back.

"Why don't we go to the bar? We should get drunk and celebrate this reunion properly and I doubt that Mariam would be happy about us wreaking havoc down here," Mige suggested and Ville nodded vehemently.

"Sure, let me just go tell her I'm leaving," Linde said as he jumped up to go upstairs.

"I'm gonna hit the bathroom then." Mige walked away leaving Ville and Emilia sitting together once again.

Ville cleared his throat and avoided Emilia's gaze, knowing everything that she wanted to say before it even escaped her lips. He could feel the tension rolling off her in waves and it was only a matter of time until that dam burst.

"We're going to have to talk about everything eventually, you know."

He sighed. "I know, I just don't think it needed to happen with the two of them here. It's our business."

"It's all of our business, I lost all of you when you decided you needed me out of your life, Ville."

She watched as he pursed his lips and finally met her eyes. "There's some things that I never told them, Em. There's some things I want to talk to just you about."

"You never told them about...?" He shook his head in response and she was honestly shocked by that confession. Not that she was ashamed of anything that had transpired between Ville and herself, but boys will be boys after all.

She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, feeling his entire body immediately become rigid.

"You two ready to go?" Linde asked as he descended the stairs, tugging a coat on as he did so. Emilia got up from her seat and zipped her own jacket up. Mige emerged from down the hall and converged with everyone.

"Lead on!" He shouted as Linde led the four of them out into the cold December night.



The bar had been rather quiet, however it was a Monday night. A few people who were obviously regulars milled about the space, chatting amongst themselves. Ville didn't mind the lack of outside company one bit, it only meant that fewer people, if any, would recognize either himself or his friends.

They'd spent an hour continuing their chat about who had been doing what during their separation, filling Emilia in on various stories from the road, and stories of new friends they'd made. Finally, Linde received a call from Manna, indicating she needed something from the store before it closed and their reunion party was dissolved.

"I'll settle up the tab, you guys can go," Ville said as everyone hopped down from their chairs at a high top table they'd occupied.

"I never say no to a free drink, thanks man," Mige said jovially as he turned to hug Emilia goodbye. "And I'll be seeing you soon, missy."

"Yes, sir!" She saluted, which took on a whole new meaning now that she knew of his time spent in the military.

"Great, these jokes again. I thought we were past this."

"Sir, no, sir!" The trio answered each donning grins a mile wide. Mige rolled his eyes at his friends.

"See you soon, assholes."

Linde hugged Emilia as well as Ville and chased after Mige who was now muttering to himself as he exited the bar. Ville turned to Emilia, finding for the second time that evening, he was not ready to say goodbye to her. She felt almost as a dream, and if he let her go now, he feared she'd be gone forever. As though reading his mind, she slipped her arm in his.

"Walk me home?"

"Sure," he smiled, patting her hand where it rested on his arm. "But first the bill."

Once they were all paid up and had exited the bar, Ville hugged her tight against his body as they walked down the street. She couldn't help but lose herself in the comfort he provided and found that she was glad to have had the opportunity she had to pretend that everything was as though she'd never left.

She often wondered how things may have turned out differently if she'd decided instead to stay in Helsinki. Whether or not she and Ville would have ever gotten together, whether or not their relationship would have stood the tests of time, whether or not Osku would have a cousin by now. But she also wondered whether or not the band would have thrived as well as it had if Ville had been with her.

"Ville?"

"Hm?"

"I know I've said it probably a thousand times tonight, but I've missed you."

"Me too, kulta. More than you could possibly imagine."

Her heart jumped at the use of the old pet name and she leaned into him a little more. It was too easy to settle into old patterns with him and to allow feelings she'd long kept dormant to bloom within her heart again. Still, things needed to be said and settled between them before they journeyed down the paths of friendship let alone anything more.

"Do you need to go home? Is anyone waiting for you?" She asked suddenly, simultaneously rooting for information.

"Not at all, why?"

"Well Essi was going out with some friends tonight and I doubt she'll be home since Osku is at my mother's."

"Trying to pick up where we left off?" He chuckled as she nudged him in the ribs.

"Nice try, Valo. But no, if you're up to it I think there's some things we should talk about."

He nodded solemnly. "I agree. It would feel like you never left if the chasm of ten years wasn't there."

"Have you been reading Poe again?"

"Yeah why?" She watched as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"You tend to get a flair for dramatic dialogue when you have been."

He rolled his eyes at her. "I'm always dramatic, Em. Just some times more than others."

"Very true." Emilia answered and pulled to a stop outside of Essi's apartment building. Pulling a lanyard of keys from her pocket, she fumbled briefly until she produced the correct key and slid it into the lock.

"Of course Essi lives here," Ville chuckled making note of the bakery window. "How that girl stays so thin is beyond me."

"I'm pretty sure she's a new breed of human," Emilia laughed. Essi had a notorious sweet tooth that was something of legend among those who knew her. It really was a marvel that she had nothing wrong with her medically.

They climbed the stairs revealed by the door that had been unlocked and made their way to the apartment. Emilia turned the lights on in the kitchen and gestured for Ville to take a seat as she wandered to the cabinets to get a couple of glasses.

Ville looked all around the room, finding various toys scattered about and pictures of the little boy that they belonged to. His eyes fell to a stop on a particular picture that was a little larger than the others and he found a smile come to his lips.

Emilia stood, red haired, in what was clearly a hospital room with a resting baby cradled in her arms and a blissful smile on her face. He found himself unable to tear his gaze from the photograph, wondering about things that may have happened if things had been different.

"That was the last time I came home - when Osku was born. Poor choice of hair color, I wish I'd thought that through a little more," Emilia said as she came to stand next to Ville and handed him a glass of water.

"You look beautiful, you always do."

She blushed and turned into the living room to take a seat. Ville followed behind a moment later and sat down beside her. She took a nervous sip of water and set it down on the coffee table. Ville cleared his throat once, itching for a cigarette but knowing how Emilia felt about his habit he decided to hold off as long as possible.

He watched her struggle with how to begin this particular conversation, neither one of them wanting to break the spell that had followed them all evening. He wished that he could bypass putting everything out on the table like this, because he knew that there were things she needed to know that would hurt her. Never mind the things she would need to say to him.

Finally, she opened her mouth to speak and then the door in the kitchen flew open and Essi practically tumbled inside. She was clearly drunk, on a Monday night no less, and closely behind her a man followed. Emilia looked on in slight amusement as the man grabbed her sister by the waist and pulled her mouth toward his.

Ville, feeling incredibly awkward, was relieved when Emilia finally cleared her throat loudly in order to draw Essi's attention. Essi's shocked face immediately disintegrated into a look of scorn as her eyes fell to rest on Ville's countenance.

"I take it you've had a good night?" Emilia chuckled, ignoring the look her sister had given Ville.

"About to get better," the man said brazenly as he began to kiss Essi's neck. She brushed him off and walked into the living room and took Emilia by the arm and dragged her into the bathroom.

Emilia stepped in and avoided the toy dinosaur on the floor from Osku's bath that morning while Essi closed and locked the door behind them.

"We need to talk about what is in my living room right now," Essi said with a fierce look in her eyes.

"Is it the dead plants you have in the windowsill because they really need to go," Emilia replied, avoiding the subject she knew Essi wanted to discuss.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, why is he here?"

"Anita arranged for us both to be at dinner tonight and we were just catching up," Emilia replied casually.

"He broke your heart and you're letting him in that easily? If I hadn't come home what was the next step? Were you gonna just sleep with him and ignore everything he's done to you?"

Emilia's brow furrowed. "Yeah, I'm that easy, Es. Calm down will you? You knew I wanted to see him again, you knew I wanted to patch things up."

"Yeah over a period of weeks or months, not in six hours!"

"Nothing is happening beyond us talking about what happened, Es. He'll go home when we're done. It would be hard to get four people in the shower in the morning anyway."

Essi gave her sister a hard look that let Emilia know she wasn't amused by her sarcastic comments.

"Come on, I promise I'll be careful. But I did some damage to him as well and we both owe it to each other to repair some of it," Emilia said as she hugged her sister. "Now can we get out of here? You reek of alcohol and I'm getting drunk off it."

Essi swatted her sister's arm and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before releasing them from the bathroom. When they emerged, they found Ville being accosted by the man that Essi had brought home.

"Do you even know who you are?" The man's voice slurred as he clapped Ville on the back.

"Santa Claus?" Ville replied looking relieved when his eyes fell on the girls.

"You're a funny guy, will you sign my junk?"

Essi rushed over to collect her guest, avoiding the amused look Emilia was giving her. She quickly escorted the man toward her bedroom, with him carrying on and on about how Ville Valo was standing in her living room and asking whether or not she knew who he was.

Emilia chuckled at the horrified look on Ville's face. "What, like that doesn't happen everyday?"

He shrugged and sat down. "Usually, its women. Slightly more shocking when a man asks you to sign their genitals."

She couldn't help but burst out laughing at his statement which earned a chuckle from Ville as well. Taking her previously occupied seat, Emilia settled herself down to begin a more serious conversation. Ville sat too, closer to her than he had before.

"Ville, before we start I-"

She was too startled to react when he cut her off by placing his lips on hers. She could feel his whole body trembling with restraint. He cupped her face gently, as though she were so easily damaged, as his lips moved softly against hers. She felt her resolve crumbling and kissed him back, gingerly, finding it hard to restrain herself as well. Breaking away, he pressed his forehead to hers and rested there for a moment.

"I'm sorry, I've been waiting ten years for that," he told her quietly. She could only nod in response and so he scooted back a little, finding it hard to keep himself from doing it again.

She felt breathless, as though all the air had rushed from the room and come flooding back. Her heart clamored within her chest and suddenly she understood Essi's apprehension. It was too easy for her to let it all go with Ville and with the way he looked at her now...

She was in for a long night.