Always a Hero

Throughout my night of silent tears and drinking, I finished the casket for Jayla. I'm surprised that I hadn't messed it up with how much had I drank. This morning the funeral home people came by and picked it up while I let mom handle the arrangements so I could get right back to work. She wasn't happy about my choice and neither was Gibbs or the team especially Abby. They don't understand that I need to keep working. It helps me stay focused but it's been getting hard to as of late. We just wrapped up an investigation where a young Marine was killed and my thoughts went straight to Jayla. I know the young girl was a Marine and mine was in the Navy but the similarities in their deaths kept my pain closer when I was trying to put it out of the way.

All this week Abby has been trying to talk me into taking some time off but her begging just doesn't work. Today is Jayla's funeral and since we didn't have any cases, Gibbs let us all leave. I looked at myself in the mirror as a knock came to my bedroom door before my mom walked in.

"Are you ready honey?"

"Almost mom." I said pinning the last medal onto my uniform. I opened up the small wooden box that I had made for my Medal Of Honor and took it out. I glanced at my mom for help and she clasped it around my neck.

"You look beautiful."

"So do you mom. Will you go ahead and take Tsunami and Jethro out to the car? I'll be there in a few minutes." I said and she nodded her head. Once I heard the front door shut downstairs, I left my bedroom and went next door to Jayla's.

I slowly pushed the door open and went inside. Memories flooded my mind and vision. I smiled to myself remembering her sitting on her bed smiling and happy as she clutched to the stuffed animals I would send her on her birthdays or Christmas. I closed my eyes and when I opened then again the room was empty. I closed the door and ran my hand over the sign she had made for it when I was first discharged from the Marines. I taught her so much and I know if she were here, she would want me to be strong. I sighed to myself before leaving the house and getting into the driver's seat of my car. Mom's hand touched mine and I cranked up the engine before going on our way to the funeral home.

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When I pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home, the team was waiting outside for me. They were the first to arrive besides us. I parked next to Abby's hot rod and shut down the engine. I exited the car and let Tsunami and Jethro out before attaching their leashes. Abby ran up to me and hugged me tightly. I nodded my head and whispered a quiet thank you to her as she let me go. We walked up the short set of stairs and entered into the funeral home. The chapel was filled with flowers from people who knew and loved Jayla.

The team sat down in the reserved sections of the pews leaving the first row open for mom and I plus Jayla's 2 friends Anita and Blair. I stood at the open casket with mom and you would never have known that she was beaten. The morticians did such a wonderful job covering up all the bruises on her face. My hand found its way to her hair and I wrapped one arm around my mother as she began to cry. It took all I had to suck up the tears and emotions that were threatening to escape. I led mom over to the first row of pews and sat down beside her as people started coming in to pay their respects.

"Blayke?" I turned my attention to the voice and stood as Dakota's mother and father approached me.

"We are so sorry about Jayla. We loved her just as much as we did Dakota."

"Thank you." I said nodding.

"We should be the ones thanking you. Not only did you find Jayla's killer but you found our son's killer as well. If there's anything at all that my wife and I can do for you, don't hesitate to call."

"I won't sir." I said shaking his hand. I sat back down as more people came in to the viewing. When people stopped coming in the preacher stood at the podium.

I tuned out his words as I stared at the open coffin. I couldn't help the feeling of this being my fault. If I had let the people of this team in and told them about my daughter then we wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have to mourn over the loss of my daughter. It kills me knowing that Jayla's infectious laughter will never again be heard in my home. I'll never get to see her play with Tsunami and Jethro or walk her down the aisle one day.

I felt my mother nudge my arm gently breaking me out of my tuned out state of mind. I stood with mother at the casket again for one last look at my daughter. My mother's sobs broke my heart in two. I reached up and unclasped the medal hanging around my neck. Jayla deserves this medal more than I ever will. She has endures more suffering than I would wish on my most hated enemy. I carefully places the medal on her neckline leaving it unclasped. The funeral director looked at me as if he were going to speak but I spoke first.

"Leave it with her." I said and he nodded. The funeral director closed the casket as we left the home and went back to my car. Another funeral director came around to the cars and places flags on the windows

The hearse stopped at the entrance of the parking lot letting the other cars line up behind it before heading on the road with police cars leading the way. The ride to Arlington National Cemetery wasn't long but it was slow. It gave me time to really think and process what was happening around me. My father had betrayed me and killed 2 people I cherished so deeply. My daughter will never get to enjoy the experience of the military or find someone she will love forever. I parked the car again in the parking lot of the cemetery and led Tsunami, Jethro, and mom to the gravesite. We all kept standing as the funeral personnel with the Navy carried the casket over the grave. I sat down with mom and again tuned the preacher out. All I could do was stare at the sealed flag draped coffin not wanting to say goodbye to my only child. She never deserved any of this.

"Honey, are you alright?" Mom asked as I continued to sit graveside. I could see the team standing off a few feet away.

"I'm fine. Me me at the car. I just want a few minutes more."

"Take all the time you need sweetheart." She said before patting me on my shoulder. I couldn't bring myself to stand as everything started to sink in. Tsunami and Jethro whined and my hand instinctively went to their heads to calm them. I stroked their heads as they laid on my lap before finding the strength to force myself to stand.

"I'm so sorry this had to happen to you baby girl. It's my fault you're laying there and fixing to be put into the ground. I should've suspected everyone you and I came in contact with. When you see your father up there, tell him how much I miss him and how much I will always love him. I know he's as proud of you as I am at the woman you've become. I can never say goodbye so we'll save it for another time." I said as my voiced crackled at the end.

I shakily raised my hand and saluted my soldier as tears slid down my face. As my hand went down to my side, I fell to my knees in a fit of tears as Tsunami and Jethro let out mournful howls. Jayla's face will forever be embedded in my mind. Nothing in this world can ever take the memories we will share for all eternity.