A Little Piece of Heaven
Chapter 48
Matt's POV
I stood there, looking at her through the window. She was sleeping, she looked pale, exhausted, done and my heart broke standing there and I wanted to cry. But I won't, I won't cry, I cried enough already, I needed to put on my happy face, my everything is okay face, I just didn't know how.
"Are you going in?" One of the nurses asked, suddenly appearing beside me.
"Um in a minute." I muttered. "How is she doing?"
She shrugged. "She's exhausted, but she had the transplant so now it's just a waiting game." She told me.
"So there weren't any issues?" I asked, needing to know.
"None so far." She said smiling, she reached out and touched my arm. "I'm sorry."
I nodded, I was sorry too, now I just needed Charlotte to get better, this all can't have been for nothing.
"Go in." The nurse urged softly.
"Soon." I told her and I would go in soon, I just wanted to get myself together a bit more before I did.
I remained there, watching her, she was moving a little in her sleep and I just wanted to go in there, climb in next to her and hold her in my arm's, it was all I wanted to do, hopefully soon.
When she was better I planned on taking her back to the place we had that picnic and I was going to propose to her. I wanted to marry Charlotte, I wanted to spend every minute of my life with her and nothing was going to stop me.
I smiled, thinking about Elizabeth's face when I told her I wanted to marry her sister, she was always giving me a hard time about her sister, but this time she came after me.
I frowned. Yesterday, that was only yesterday.
Matt, I'm sorry for everything I've done and I just want you to know that I couldn't think of a better person I want my sister to spend her life with. You make her happy Matt and I can see she makes you happy, but promise me you'll look after her.
Of course I'd look after her, she was my life. I smiled, I was glad Elizabeth had given me her blessing to marry Charlotte, it meant a lot, and now, now it meant so much more. She'd hugged me before going back to her room, telling me that she'd rip my ball's off anyway if I did anything wrong. Typical Elizabeth.
"Matt."
I looked to my left and Brian and Holly were standing there, I smiled at them, well tried to smile, taking in their red eye's and tired looks.
"Are you going in?" Holly asked.
I nodded. "In a minute."
"Are you okay Matt?" Holly asked, grabbing my arm. "Are you okay with Charlotte?"
"I am more than okay with Charlotte." I whispered, looking at her in her bed and smiling.
"She needs you now more than ever." Holly whispered.
And she was right, Charlotte did need me now more than ever and I was standing out here.
I went over and put all the shit on that I had too just to go into the room. Hopefully it wouldn't be for much longer. I craved to touch her, hold her, it was all I wanted to do, it consumed my thoughts, all day, all night.
I opened the door quietly, walking over to the bed. She was sound asleep and I wanted to say she looked better, but she didn't, she didn't look any better at all.
I didn't wake her, I just sat there for awhile watching her. She was beautiful, even now, at her worst, she was beautiful to me.
I didn't stay long, she was sleeping and I didn't want to disturb her, she needed sleep to get better, and I needed her to get better.
I left as quietly as I entered and as I walked past the nurses I stopped. "Please, not a word." I asked them again.
They nodded. I knew they wouldn't say anything, not yet, not until I had spoken to Charlotte first.
I made my way downstairs and Brian and Holly were sitting in the waiting room, standing up when they saw me.
"Did you tell her?" Brian asked immediately and I shook my head. "She has a right to know Matt."
"You think I don't fucking know that Brian." I said raising my voice. "But Charlotte is my priority, Charlotte is my number one and she needs to get better first."
"Yeah." Holly said softly. "But Matt, are you only thinking of yourself?"
I looked at them and shook my head before turning to the door and walking out. They were right of course, I was only thinking of myself, because I knew, I knew in my heart that once Charlotte found out she'd give up, she'd give up and die and I wasn't willing to let her do that.
I sat in my car, staring out the windscreen. I just needed to work out what I was going to say to her, what I could say that would make it okay, that would make Charlotte okay and I shook my head, there wasn't anything I could say to make this okay. There'd been a complication and now Elizabeth was dead.
Charlotte would hold herself responsible.
I stood there, looking at her through the window. She was sleeping, she looked pale, exhausted, done and my heart broke standing there and I wanted to cry. But I won't, I won't cry, I cried enough already, I needed to put on my happy face, my everything is okay face, I just didn't know how.
"Are you going in?" One of the nurses asked, suddenly appearing beside me.
"Um in a minute." I muttered. "How is she doing?"
She shrugged. "She's exhausted, but she had the transplant so now it's just a waiting game." She told me.
"So there weren't any issues?" I asked, needing to know.
"None so far." She said smiling, she reached out and touched my arm. "I'm sorry."
I nodded, I was sorry too, now I just needed Charlotte to get better, this all can't have been for nothing.
"Go in." The nurse urged softly.
"Soon." I told her and I would go in soon, I just wanted to get myself together a bit more before I did.
I remained there, watching her, she was moving a little in her sleep and I just wanted to go in there, climb in next to her and hold her in my arm's, it was all I wanted to do, hopefully soon.
When she was better I planned on taking her back to the place we had that picnic and I was going to propose to her. I wanted to marry Charlotte, I wanted to spend every minute of my life with her and nothing was going to stop me.
I smiled, thinking about Elizabeth's face when I told her I wanted to marry her sister, she was always giving me a hard time about her sister, but this time she came after me.
I frowned. Yesterday, that was only yesterday.
Matt, I'm sorry for everything I've done and I just want you to know that I couldn't think of a better person I want my sister to spend her life with. You make her happy Matt and I can see she makes you happy, but promise me you'll look after her.
Of course I'd look after her, she was my life. I smiled, I was glad Elizabeth had given me her blessing to marry Charlotte, it meant a lot, and now, now it meant so much more. She'd hugged me before going back to her room, telling me that she'd rip my ball's off anyway if I did anything wrong. Typical Elizabeth.
"Matt."
I looked to my left and Brian and Holly were standing there, I smiled at them, well tried to smile, taking in their red eye's and tired looks.
"Are you going in?" Holly asked.
I nodded. "In a minute."
"Are you okay Matt?" Holly asked, grabbing my arm. "Are you okay with Charlotte?"
"I am more than okay with Charlotte." I whispered, looking at her in her bed and smiling.
"She needs you now more than ever." Holly whispered.
And she was right, Charlotte did need me now more than ever and I was standing out here.
I went over and put all the shit on that I had too just to go into the room. Hopefully it wouldn't be for much longer. I craved to touch her, hold her, it was all I wanted to do, it consumed my thoughts, all day, all night.
I opened the door quietly, walking over to the bed. She was sound asleep and I wanted to say she looked better, but she didn't, she didn't look any better at all.
I didn't wake her, I just sat there for awhile watching her. She was beautiful, even now, at her worst, she was beautiful to me.
I didn't stay long, she was sleeping and I didn't want to disturb her, she needed sleep to get better, and I needed her to get better.
I left as quietly as I entered and as I walked past the nurses I stopped. "Please, not a word." I asked them again.
They nodded. I knew they wouldn't say anything, not yet, not until I had spoken to Charlotte first.
I made my way downstairs and Brian and Holly were sitting in the waiting room, standing up when they saw me.
"Did you tell her?" Brian asked immediately and I shook my head. "She has a right to know Matt."
"You think I don't fucking know that Brian." I said raising my voice. "But Charlotte is my priority, Charlotte is my number one and she needs to get better first."
"Yeah." Holly said softly. "But Matt, are you only thinking of yourself?"
I looked at them and shook my head before turning to the door and walking out. They were right of course, I was only thinking of myself, because I knew, I knew in my heart that once Charlotte found out she'd give up, she'd give up and die and I wasn't willing to let her do that.
I sat in my car, staring out the windscreen. I just needed to work out what I was going to say to her, what I could say that would make it okay, that would make Charlotte okay and I shook my head, there wasn't anything I could say to make this okay. There'd been a complication and now Elizabeth was dead.
Charlotte would hold herself responsible.