Status: Active

Smoked Out

Get Out of My Room

"You're going out with Chase Backus?!" Beverly shouted, causing my ears to ring just the tiniest bit. I glared at her briefly.

I had been at her house since class ended at the rink an hour ago and had filled her in on my weirdly eventful weekend, minus everything that happened with Talon. She didn't seem bothered that I had gone to a party without her even though I had to bail on her thing for the math I was supposed to be doing but wasn't. All she told me was that she was happy I was finally socializing with different types of people and that was it. I had just finished telling her about last night and I wasn't sure how she was taking it so far.

"So let me get this straight. You don't want anything to do with Talon, but you'll give Chase a shot. Chase! A guy who is practically the same person as Talon." What?

"Talon and I just don't mesh well together and Chase is actually a decent person to talk to. I haven't been this excited for a date since Kevin." I said, feeling the butterflies starting to kick again. How had this happened? How had my mild fondness of him turned into this wild crush?

"How do you know he isn't just messing with you?" She asked, crossing her arms. I felt offended.

"Ouch!"

"I'm not saying that's what I think he's doing, I'm just saying that he hangs out with people you hate and you think he's different from them? How can you like him; somebody who smokes and wears leather and skips school, but be hateful and judgmental to somebody else who is the exact same!" She didn't understand the relationship Talon and I had. She wasn't there for his snarky remarks and constant lack of respect towards me by blowing smoke in my face. I wasn't going to bother explaining it to her because she wouldn't get it.

"Can I just be happy about this? You're making me feel like I should call it off." I went to pull out my cellphone and she stopped me.

"Don't. I'm sorry." She said sincerely. "Just forget what I said. I'm happy for you." I left my hand hovering over my pocket. What if he really was messing with me? "I'm serious. I think you should go on this date." I brought my hand up again and rested it on my lap.

"Where's Amy?" I asked, changing the subject. She hadn't come last Sunday and I was beginning to think she wasn't showing up this Sunday either.

"She just said she was busy and couldn't make it. Something about a project for school." She shrugged, like it was no big deal that she was missing a second Sunday in a row of Girl's Day when she had never missed one before.

I had a weird feeling that Amy was lying about her project. I had been getting a weird feeling about Beverly and Amy for a while and they've done nothing to reassure me that everything was going to be okay between them. I just wanted to know what the heck was going on, but it didn't seem like I would be finding out anytime soon and I was too chicken to ask in case they got upset with me.

"So how are things with Cameron now?" I asked instead. I hadn't heard much about what was going on with them since she told me they had a fight.

"They aren't." She said, bluntly. I stared at her and gestured for her to elaborate. "I just realized that the no strings attached thing doesn't work for me and so I ended it. Rebecca Stedson can have him." I placed my arm around her shoulder and squeezed.

"I'm proud of you, Bev." I gave her a gentle smile knowing that gentle was what she needed when it came to this topic. I knew she had developed feelings for him and that was why she ended it. It was good for her to end it though. It wasn't healthy and though it was probably really hard for her to do, she did the right thing and stood her ground.

"Yeah, well, I feel like shit." I gave her a real hug this time to let her know I was there for her. It was rare that Beverly got upset over a boy and comforting her was rare along with it.

"Let's do something fun to clear our heads!" I suggested, suddenly getting excited. I wanted to have a really fun girl's night, even if it wasn't the wildest thing ever.

"Like what?" She said, looking at me concerned. She wasn't used to me getting super excited over fun things. I usually enjoyed them but I was never crazy about doing things out of my comfort zone.

"I don't know, let's go jump off a really high cliff into water or I don't know, go bowling!" Beverly burst into laughter. "What?"

"First, it's October and I don't care how decent the weather has been lately, it's still not nearly warm enough to go jumping off cliffs into freezing cold water. And second, how the hell do you go from addrenaline junky to old geezer in zero point one seconds?"

"What do you mean old geezer? Bowling is hip, it's fun, we should do it!" It's hip? It's fun? What the hell was coming out of my mouth right now.

"Do you hear yourself right now?" She said through her laughter. I couldn't help but laugh with her because I had heard myself and I did realize how ridiculous I sounded.

"Bowling is fun and you know it!" I was looking at her hopeful, wanting her to agree to go. I just wanted some normal girl time with my best friend. I felt like life had been so hectic for both of us lately that we hadn't been able to really see each other.

"Fine, let's go bowling!" She said laughing as my phone started ringing. I looked at the caller ID and sighed, holding a finger up to Beverly to be quiet while I answered the call.

"What do you want?" I sounded strained, like if he continued to be in my life I would die of a stress overload.

"Calm down, little miss perfect. I'm only calling because we still have a deal and you need Math help and I'm available tonight." He was being snarky but he sounded exhausted.

"Is that Talon?" Beverly mouthed to me. She tried to grab the phone from me but I flicked her away.

"Well I can't tonight, I'm going out." I shrugged, even though he couldn't see me. Beverly tried to grab the phone again and I pushed her away. "Will you stop?!" I shouted at her, irritated.

"What the hell are you talking about, stop what?" Talon said angrily through the phone.

"Not you. Beverly. She's irritating me. Anyway, I can come over after school tomorrow if that works for you."

"Who doesn't irritate you? And fine, tomorrow is good. I'll see -"

"Hey Talon!" Beverly shouted through the phone, finally managing to grab it from me and put it on speaker. Fine, if she wanted the phone so badly she could have it.

"What's up, Bev?" I raised my eyebrows at her, confused.

"Bev? Are you two friends or something?" I asked, trying to wrap my head around the fact that they were apparently close enough for him to call her Bev.

"Not everyone hates me, you know. Just because you do, doesn't mean the rest of the world follows." I grunted and glared over at Beverly. How could she sit there and let me talk crap about him all the time and have her defend him, but not tell me they were friends?

"Shut up you two. Anyway, we're going bowling tonight. You should come and make sure you bring Chase." She winked over at me as my jaw dropped.

"This was supposed to be a girl's night!" I whined, not proud of myself for whining but not being able to help it.

"Talon, make sure you tell him that Macy is going to be there." This time I tried to grab the phone and hang up but Beverly grabbed it before I could.

"Why would he care if Macy is there?" I guess guys didn't tell each other as much as girls did. Either that or I was just another girl to Chase which I was hoping was not the case.

"Didn't you hear? They have a big date on Tuesday."

"Beverly, shut up!" I shouted at her. Inviting Chase to hangout would be weird, wouldn't it? Aren't you supposed to wait until the day you planned to hangout with the person you planned a date with?

"That's a load of bull. Chase wouldn't go out with Macy, she's not his type." I rolled my eyes, meaning to interrupt the conversation but too focused thinking about what I was supposed to be to Chase to do anything.

"Apparently she is. He asked her out yesterday night." She said, smiling ear to ear. "So will you come and bring him? I just heard you tell Macy you were free tonight so there isn't an excuse not to."

"Ugh, whatever. I'm doing this for you, Bev. I haven't seen you in a while. What time should we be there?" It was weird how calm and friendly he sounded when talking to Beverly. Maybe yesterday at the cliff he was just trying to be nice to me. Maybe he was just wanting to make peace and be my friend and I ruined it.

"8." She said, and then hung up the phone.

"Now I have to look pretty." I said, throwing my hands up in the air, exasperated.

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"I can't believe you never told me you and Talon were friends." Beverly and I had just pulled into the parking lot of Bowlarama and I was nervous. I wasn't supposed to feel nervous until Tuesday. That's when I was supposed to see Chase next. And now to have to see him sooner, unplanned, and with two other people watching our first official hangout? I was way more nervous then if it was Tuesday.

"It's not like I was discreet about it. You've seen me say hi to him in the halls at school." Beverly said as we got out of the car and made our way to the entrance of the building. Come to think of it, I had seen her talk to him a few times but I never thought anything of it. I guess I just thought she was asking him about homework or something since they had almost all of their classes together. Now thinking about it more, I couldn't really see Beverly asking him anything about homework. They were both not big on school so clearly that reasoning doesn't make sense.

"Whatever. How do I look?" I said, suddenly really nervous. Beverly didn't want me to drive home and waste time so she made me get ready at her house, which turned out to be the better option anyway. She was so much better at hair and makeup than I was and she did a good job. My hair was waved and put in a high ponytail with little strands around my face and she put on a little bit of foundation so that you could still see the tiny freckles around my cheeks but there wasn't any redness like usual. She also put a tiny bit of blush on my cheeks and a layer of black liner and mascara which made my blue eyes pop. She did a good job, but did she do a Chase-thinks-I-look-good job?

"You look hot, stop stressing." I took a deep breath as we walked in and immediately spotted the guys at the front counter getting shoes. And when I say guys, I don't just mean the two guys we were supposed to meet. I mean, Carson, Griffin, and Travis (another part of Carson's group) along with the two guys we were supposed to meet. This was supposed to be a girl's night.

"Hey boys." Beverly cheered as we reached them. "Ready to lose against the bowling champ?" They all started laughing and I smiled awkwardly. I felt so out of my element and felt jealous of Beverly for knowing how to interact with them. I had interacted with them before but it was always forced and unwilling. This I had willingly walked into. I crossed my arms uncomfortably and felt a weird feeling come over me. I felt shy.

I locked eyes with Talon who was looking at me oddly and nodded at him in an attempt to keep the peace. "Hey." Chase said, tearing my gaze from Talon to him. I smiled a real smile this time.

"Hey." I said, still feeling nervous but happy to see him.

"Don't think that just because we're hanging out tonight that you're getting out of Tuesday." He winked at me and I felt butterflies start to form in my stomach.

"I wasn't planning on getting out of it." I felt like I should be flirting but I didn't know how. I tried to replay every interaction I witnessed Beverly or Amy have with a guy and channel my inner flirtiness.

"Good, because I have the whole night planned." He said smugly.

"Do you now?" Macy, that's not flirting I mentally told myself.

"It's a surprise so don't even think about asking me what I have planned." He bent down and kissed me on the cheek and I jumped a little with surprise, not expecting any kind of gesture like that from him at all.

"Hurry up, lovebirds." Griffin shouted from across the room. I hadn't realized they had all gotten their shoes and were making their way to the bowling lane now. Chase and I both got our shoes from the guy behind the counter and made our way to the rest of the group.

"Ready to lose?" Beverly asked winking at everyone. They all loved her, I realized. She didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable in any way and they didn't tease her the way they teased me. When they teased her, it was in a friendly I'm-just-messing kind of way, but with me it was always a I-want-to-make-her-mad kind of way.

I know that I'm just as rude to them as they are to me but I couldn't help feeling envious of Beverly for having their attention. For being friends with them. I never considered being their friend before, it would be bad for my reputation, but now I wanted to be included in their fun. I wanted to be friends with them and see them the way Beverly did.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out across the table to Talon while everyone else watched Chase take his turn. We were half way through the game now and even though I was having fun, I felt this weight on my shoulder that I knew was because of how things were with Talon and I.

"I'm going to get a drink." He said, standing up and walking away. I got up from the table and followed him.

"Did you hear what I said?" I asked, confused with why he didn't respond.

"I heard." He said as he reached the concession stand. "A bottle of coke, please." He said to the guy working behind it, handing him some money.

"I'm sorry, Talon." The guy came back with his coke and Talon turned to face me.

"Don't go out with Chase." He said bluntly, catching me off guard.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"This Tuesday? Don't go out with him." He was staring at me intently now and I was getting worried.

"Why? Is he up to something?" He didn't say anything. "Oh my god, I knew it. I knew this was too good to be true. I actually let myself like him. I did my hair and makeup and everything just for him and it's all fake." I was panicking now and Talon was watching it happen. I could think of nothing more embarrassing at the moment.

"I'm just messing with you." He said, smirking. "Just wanted to see your reaction. Apology accepted." I felt angry at him but decided to let it go in an effort to keep the peace between us. I smiled at him and hit him playfully in the arm.

"Macy, you're up!" Chase shouted over at me. I turned away from Talon and started walking toward Chase.

"I'm sorry too, Macy." Talon said after me. I turned around and smiled at him, content with finally being done with the fighting. I skipped the rest of the way to Chase, who winked at me and handed me a 10 pound bowling ball before sitting down.

"Hey Chase," I called after him. "did you think that because I'm beating you that handing me a bowling ball this heavy was going to change that?" He laughed.

"You're all muscle. I knew you could handle it."

"Right. You observe people." I said, smirking.

"Right now, Macy, I'm only observing you." He smirked back and Beverly raised her eyebrows at me.

"Smooth." I said, turning around and throwing the ball. Strike. I cheered and walked over to Chase who high-fived me and motioned for me to sit down beside him.

"I think I could really like you, you know." He said, putting his arm around me. He was wearing a sweater tonight and it felt warm around my shoulders.

"You're a lot different than I thought." I said, looking closely at his face in an attempt to read him. I felt like all I was accomplishing was letting him read me. Which had to be easy with his superb observation skills.

"A good different, I hope." He cocked an eyebrow at me and I giggled. What was with the giggling lately? I felt like a little school girl who had a crush on her hot English teacher. You know, the one girl who can't think of anything smart to say and giggles even though he didn't say anything funny.

"Definitely a good different." I nudged him just as Beverly ran up to me shouting.

"I got my first strike! I got my first strike, Macy!" The rest of the group laughed and I joined them.

"I thought you were supposed to be the champ. How is that your first strike?" Carson said, smirking. He didn't know.

"Oh she is," I said as a friendly warning.

"Macy, just because she's one of the only people you actually like here, doesn't mean you have to defend her. We now know she is not the champ." He said, smugly. I smiled widely at him.

"Woah, woah, woah, you've just woken the grizzly bear." Beverly shouted excitedly, "It only goes up from here." And it did. Beverly got four strikes after that and ended up coming in first place. Which I, of course, knew would happen. I've never seen her lose a game here before. At least they didn't know that before though. At least now I knew that she was friends with them but they didn't hangout much after school.

We played another round and again Beverly won. I came second last, next to Talon who actually came last, but I didn't feel like a sore loser. I felt kind of happy. I let myself enjoy the night and put away my clouded judgments which I realized were, in fact, clouded judgments. I still didn't like their leather jackets and I still hated the fact that they smoked every ten minutes, not to mention their snarky sarcasm that apparently was a common trait they had, but in the end they ended up being fun to hangout with.

I thought back to that party in grade nine and realized that I had enjoyed their company tonight just as much as I had that night before we shut each other out. I mean, I apologized to Talon - or we apologized to each other, rather- and I knew that we still had a long way to go when it came to being friends, but I even enjoyed his company tonight which I would have never thought was possible before.

"You want a ride home?" Talon asked me as all of us left Bowlarama to go home for the night. I looked over at Beverly who was deep in conversation with Travis and decided that she'd probably rather go home with him and not me. Not that I assumed that's what would happen. Especially since she was still into Cameron, but I think she'd like to have her options open.

"Yeah, actually. Thanks." I said, awkwardly. I wasn't used to nice gestures from him. "Just let me say goodnight to Chase and I'll meet you at the truck." He nodded and headed over to his truck to wait for me as I walked over to Chase.

I wasn't sure how I was supposed to say goodnight to him since technically this wasn't a date, but I still felt like some sort of good night was in order. It would be awkward to just leave with Talon without saying anything to him. I reached Chase, who was standing by Carson's truck alone, and he smiled at me. "I was hoping you weren't just going to leave me hanging." He said, his smile never wavering.

"Well I know this wasn't Tuesday or anything, but I wanted to let you know that I had a good time." I really wasn't any good at this dating thing. I guess going as long as I did without dating someone put me way out of practice.

"I did too. Thanks for inviting us out tonight." He started fidgeting with the sleeve of his sweater and I smiled to myself knowing that I made him even a tiny bit nervous. I've never seen Chase anything less than confident.

"Well you can thank Beverly for that. She forced me into it." I said, and then realized how bad that sounded. His face fell a little but I could tell he was trying not to show it. "I mean, no, that's not what I meant. I just mean that she knew Talon and I really didn't get along and that I was nervous to see you, so-"

"You're cute when you ramble." He said smiling, his eyes sparkling. "Have a good night, Macy." He winked at me before turning around and getting into the truck. I walked back to Talon's truck, kicking myself on the way.

Talon and I didn't really talk much on the way home, but he didn't blare his heavy metal crap and instead let us sit in silence. It was actually kind of nice. A little awkward, but nice. It took about twenty minutes to get home since the bowling alley was at the South end of town and we lived in the North end.

"So how come we're making peace now?" Talon said, as he turned off his car and sat back in his seat. "We were tearing each other's throats out yesterday." I shrugged.

"I was thinking about it and maybe I was wrong to misinterpret your intentions the way I did. I guess I've just built up this wall where you're concerned." He nodded slowly, like he was thinking really hard before replying.

"I think we've both built walls." He was speaking so quietly I had to listen so carefully to hear him. I don't think he was used to confronting his feelings without yelling.

"At the party," I said, knowing what I was about to say but not being able to stop myself. "I remember almost kissing you." I felt my cheeks flush.

"Don't worry, you didn't." He said, chuckling. It was weird seeing him chuckle, or even smile at me.

"I was just wondering if I misinterpreted that as well. I was pretty drunk." I didn't know why I was talking about this. I kept telling myself to shut up but I couldn't.

"It wasn't anything. We were just caught up in the moment, you know, teenage hormones and everything. That was all." I nodded, relieved. I didn't even know why I felt relieved and I didn't understand why I needed to hear him say that. It didn't matter to me, or at least I thought it didn't matter to me.

"Good." I said, still nodding. "Good. I guess I'll see you tomorrow after school then." I said, reaching for the door handle.

"You know I live here too, right?" He said laughing. "You're acting like I'm supposed to drive off somewhere. Well sorry, princess, but I have nowhere else I need to be." He was being snarky, but it didn't hit me the same way it normally did.

"Right." I said, as both of us got out of the truck. He started walking towards the back entrance of the house when I remembered that I had skating practice tomorrow. How could I have forgotten about the most important thing in my life? What was wrong with me? "Wait, Talon."

"Yeah?" He said, turning around to face me. He had a hint of something in his eye and a little smile played on his lips.

"I'm going to have to come over a little bit later tomorrow, I just remembered I have practice at the rink and I can't miss it." He nodded.

"I'm home all night so whenever's good for you is good for me." He said, and then waved before walking away.

I walked inside the house quietly. It was nearing midnight now and everyone was sleeping. I walked down the hallway and noticed that my room light was on and grunted. I guess I wasn't so lucky tonight. I guess I was hoping that Lindsay going out at night would be a regular thing so I wouldn't have to see her. Avoiding her would be so much easier if she wasn't home.

"You're sleeping on the floor tonight. I don't share beds." She said as I opened the door, irritated but relieved to see that my things were all intact.

"I guess I'll sleep on the couch." I was bitter, but I knew that any battle I had with her would be a battle I lost so I didn't bother fighting her.

"Whatever." She said, flicking me off as I walked out of the room. "Just turn off the light before you go." I closed the door hard, ignoring her request.

"Turn the damn light off yourself." I replied through the closed door, forgetting that I was supposed to be quiet. I heard her mumble a "whatever" as I walked down the hallway and into the living room. Mom had done laundry tonight and the blanket that sat on the couch smelled like the mountain rain detergent she always used and that I've always loved. I wrapped it around me and breathed it in as I fell asleep. Leaving thoughts of Lindsay in my bedroom where I left her and letting thoughts of Chase creep in.
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