Relevance

I rose my head to glance at the alarm o’clock, still unsure whether I cared about the time it displayed. It was almost noon and the sunlight was bursting out of my bedroom’s curtain.

The mattress wobbled as the naked body beneath the covers moved in slumber. I swung my legs out of bed and rested my head on my hands, attempting to shake off the thoughts that haunted me every morning. Suddenly, my routine didn’t hold the same pleasure as it used to.

I left the room before I was forced to socialise with the stranger. In the kitchen, I saw Jared’s used plates fill up the sink and no sign of him. I took out the utensils needed to make a fresh pot of coffee and whilst I made it, my mind tormented me like it had done every morning for the past week.

The Seattle skyline remained still and beautiful as I watched it through the floor-to-ceiling windows in the apartment Jared and I rented for our two week vacation.

Staying in Seattle had been a rash idea. The day after the wedding, I woke up without direction. Everybody had a destination and a ticket in hand, whereas I lacked it all—destination, ticket, and somebody to go home to. So I thought about the only place I wanted to be in, and I bought a ticket the very next minute.

Staying in Seattle had been an utter illusion. All of the things I had planned to do when I set foot in this land didn’t happen. I picked up the phone and rehearsed phone call conversations countless times. I kept waiting for the right words, hoping for the right words, but they never arrived. I planned tours around the city, dinners at gourmet restaurants, bowling even—but by afternoon, I discarded all the plans.

She already had someone to do all those things with.

I couldn't help but think of her. The thought of her crushed me like a rolling wave, making me lose my brain in the process.

I felt like the stupidest person in the entire face of the earth. What was I thinking when I offered that deal to her? Had my brain never considered what would happen next? How she’d one day find out if I ever decided to keep her in my life?

Since I hadn’t been smart enough to conjure those thoughts, I kept my distance. I walked around the streets of Seattle hoping to bump into her in every corner, or find her lurking inside some coffee shop. Yet part of me also wished it didn’t happen because it’d take her one step closer to finding out all the truths I had been hiding—I was too much of a coward to knock on her door and pour it all out before it was too late.

So I shoved all of those thoughts to the back of my mind, praying to heavens they’d never emerge again. Yet when Jared returned, asking why I had been sulking for a week, they poured out of my mouth without a breath in between.

“Man,” Jared huffed in disbelief, “I’ve got to hand it to ya, you sure did go through extreme measures to make this album happen.”

I tried to chuckle as he did, but it came out as though someone had punched me in the stomach. “I just didn’t think it would end up like this.”

“Well, we can’t plan it all. But what now? Aren’t you going to be upfront with her?”

I shook my head with a clenched jaw and snapped at him, “And how exactly would I do that? ‘Excuse me, yes, it’s John, from the wedding, remember? Well, I never really meant to help you with your little romantic endeavour, I just really needed some writing inspiration and you happened to be it. Have a nice life!’”

“Wanna know what I’d do in your situation?” he said, ignoring my remarks.

“Please.”

“I’d tell her. Yes, she’s probably going to be mad, but it’s better to be mad at something someone tells you rather than something you find out. If you want her in your life, that’s the cost. You either pay up or ship out.”



“Hi! I was beginning to think I’d never hear from you again,” her laughter tickled my ears. “How have you been?”

I swallowed down the nerves. “Good! How about yourself?”

“I could say the same. Are you traveling at the moment?”

“Uh, no. I’m actually in Seattle right now, hence the call,” I frowned at the sound of my enthused voice, immediately regretting this.

“That’s fantastic! I don’t know what your plans are for Thursday night, but I’m having an exposition then. You should come! That’s if you can, of course.”

I remained silent for some breaths, apprehensive at how Thursday was two days from now. “Yeah, that’d be great. See you Thursday then.”

I could hear her smile, “I’ll text you the details. See you then!”



Wearing the outfit I had picked out the night before, I felt underdressed when I arrived at the venue. The building was located right in the heart of the city and it attracted attention through its complete white exterior, differentiating itself from the neighbours whose maroon brick walls gave off a Brooklyn vibe.

I took a deep breath in before walking though the front door. The inside looked just as impressive as the outside. White remained the predominant colour and all of the artworks had black frames. The place was packed and it was difficult to grasp my bearings with the dimmed lights.

Most people held champagne glasses and a couple of photographers ventured around, flashing people’s faces every now and again. The background noise was the murmur of the crowd and jazz music.

Instead of scanning the room for Georgia, I bought myself time by walking around and observing some of the artworks. Her photograph’s were absolutely phenomenal—she conquered at capturing people’s essence. Hung up on the walls were mostly happy faces with the wind tousling their hair, or somber expressions with a beautiful landscape as the background.

Just as I stepped into the second showroom to continue browsing the photographs, my eye caught a glimpse of her. She was in the far corner of the room holding a glass of champagne just like everybody else. Her hair wasn’t as light as she had done it on that beach day—it was one shade darker than her mahogany dress. She smiled whilst a man spoke to her, pointing a finger to the photograph in front of them every now and again.

I watched her for as long as I could before the man left and she noticed me. She flashed a grin and walked towards me. Although I desired to meet her halfway, my legs refused to act.

She leaned in for a hug and my arms did a poor job at reciprocating. “I’m glad you could come!”

“Thanks for the invite, the place looks great,” I smiled, pretending to have a tranquilliser shot in my butt. “I’m pretty sure none of these,” I circled a finger pointed to the walls, “will be around by the end of the night.”

Georgia threw her head back and laughed, “That’d be the dream!” she said before taking a sip of her drink.

“So how’s life been since our last encounter?” I asked more out of curiosity than courtesy.

“It’s been good. I’ve gotten a couple of jobs here and there and—“

“There you are!” Soon after his words echoed, his hand found its way around her waist as he kissed her cheek. His hand stayed put in a protective manner. “Hey John, how’s it going?”

I ran a hand through my hair to distract myself and soften the blow of his presence. “Good, man.”

Scott nodded and whispered into her ear, “Herman’s here.”

Her wide-eyed gaze showed how she, too, was surprised at Scott’s abrupt appearance. “I’ll be right over,” she politely smiled and paused, giving him a cue to leave.

We engaged in awkward silence and stares for a couple of seconds before he took the cue and left.

“I’ll be back,” she handed me her champagne as a promise she’d return for it. “Have fun in the meanwhile!”

This time I didn’t watch her leave. I bit my bottom lip as fury built up inside of me. It had been a mistake to come tonight—wondering is better than knowing, I knew that now. Knowing for sure that she was with Scott was something alcohol couldn’t drown. So instead of washing down my throat with her champagne, I put it on the nearest surface.

On my way out, I placed a cheque on the till’s balcony before I stormed off. “You can keep the photographs.”