Status: i love writing this | please don't be a silent reader

Relevance

Trees

I had never been good at dealing with conflicts, and last night wouldn’t have been any different.

I sat at the backseat of a taxi as flashbacks barged in my mind. Having no other way out, I ended up telling Scott everything. Okay, perhaps not every single thing, but I covered the highlights.

With the tidal wave of new information he received, his reactions varied from silent, to solemn to outraged. In my head, things had played out differently. I thought he’d find it somewhat flattering, maybe even thank John for his assistance. Boy, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I watched a myriad of rows of trees pass by as we drove down a lonely road. Everything about the environment echoed serenity. Too bad my interior didn’t share those feelings.

My mind was turbulent, as though there were a little man inside, pacing back and forth, anxiety growing the further he walked.

“And to think I knew you…” his voice trailed off, pungent with a concoction of disappointment and betrayal.

I was in a vortex beyond fury as I watched him sit on the couch for support, my heart drumming against my chest as though it were rehearsing a rock song.


How the hell could he say that? After all we’ve been through? Just thinking about matters took me back to those emotions as though the flames had never been extinguished. For the first time since we had been together, I was brutally honest with him. And instead of receiving a warm welcome, I was given a slap to the face in the form of unthoughtful words.

“You do know me. I’ve just told you.” I mimicked his tone, not having in me what it took to retaliate. We had been on this constant ebb and flow of arguments, which never seemed to cease, for the past hour.

Before he could respond or embrace silence, I raised my hands in surrender, my energy drained and my mind unwilling to cooperate. “Yeah, you’re right,” I picked up my purse, hurriedly packing my phone and keys, “This isn’t me. I’ve been playing pretend this whole time just so you could love me for who I was for once. I’m sorry to have wasted your time.”

I didn’t look back as I stormed out of his apartment, banging the door behind me and praying to the heavens he’d back off. I was sick of hearing him play the victim.


Taking a deep breath in with closed eyes, I regrouped my sentiments. I didn’t want to relive the previous night, suffering once was enough for me to learn. At least I hoped it was.

The taxi driver soon came to a stop in the middle of nowhere, pointing somewhere I hadn’t seen, saying the GPS marked the location a few yards away. He wouldn’t go any further, so I paid him and stepped off.

I swung my duffel bag behind one shoulder, eying every direction, trying to see something beyond the trees that obscured most of the view. Attempting to call John was futile thanks to the poor cell reception.

After hearing muffled voices in the distant background, I decided to head north. The trees served as camouflage as I peeked from a large trunk, observing the people inside a cabin.

All I could see was the living room and a very tiny fraction of the kitchen. Four guys were sitting on the couch—John nowhere near sight. One of them looked like a caveman, the other a body guard and another whom I had at first mistaken for an incredibly petite woman. The last one seemed like the most normal out of everyone.

They appeared to be lost in conversation, some frowns and sighs here and there, at other moments a soft chuckle and a high-five. I kept my distance, hoping John would soon emerge into the picture. When I felt the first raindrop of what seemed to be tonight’s storm, I hurriedly walked to the front door.

As I stood in front of the beautifully handcrafted, wooden door, I bit my lower lip as a pondering habit. Staring at the doorbell didn’t make the decision to press it any less difficult. So I closed my eyes shut as a lame attempt to hold back the nervousness brought by the cold touch of the bell’s button.

Both the sound and the nerves were short-lived and ended as soon as the normal-looking one opened the door. His face shifted from a traditional answering-the-door-smile to a solemn gaze in seconds.

I smiled half-heartedly, my mind already cursing me for accepting the entire ordeal. You should’ve know by now what these deals with John bring you, it accused me. Need a second round of butt-kicking to learn?

“Hi!” I spoke so quickly that it came out as a gist of excitement, but my face didn’t mirror the tone.

He attempted to imitate my smile out of politeness yet it came out as a strange spasm—not convincing at all. “Hey there.”

“Uhm, I’m—”

“Yeah, I’ll get him.”

He left before he could witness my perplexity at his interruption. The longer I stood out, the more I regretted my decision. I took a few steps back to try and see what was going on inside the house from the window yet it was futile. I wondered if Scott would treat me as warmly as this guy did when I got back home. He probably wouldn’t be as warm…

When I considered running my way back home, John stepped out of the door and closed it behind him. He said “Hey you!” with a grin.

Seeing his gleaming face made my insides squirm. Yet not in the good, typical way. On the contrary, his vibrant behaviour made me so much more aware of how much of it I lacked.

I trembled a rapid smile and took a few steps back, lifting an index finger, “I’ll just need one more minute.” I saw the beginnings of his worried frown before I dropped my bag, spun around and briskly walked away. “I’ll be right back…” my words trailed off.

After several seconds of walking, I rested my back on the opposite side of a tree that faced the cabin as a means of privacy. What mess are you getting yourself into, Georgia? My mind was on a roll today.

I ran a hand through my forehead and frantically took my phone out of my pocket, dialling Scott’s number as fast as my fingers could. No sound came from the device thanks to the stupid cell reception. I cursed under my breath.

Not having anyone to reach out for, panic started settling in. It sure had been more than a minute. I looked over my shoulder and was relieved to see John still by the door. Okay, stop freaking out, I told myself in a rushed whisper. You can do this. It’ll just be for a few weeks. You’ve got this.

The more I spoke, the more my heart became wild, frantically beating inside my chest. I gave my phone one last glance, hoping a sign of survival from Scott would appear. Needless to say that it didn’t—and it probably wouldn’t have even if the signal was good.

I took a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth, rolled my shoulders back, and returned to the entrance. John dubiously watched me whilst I put on a reassuring smile.

“Ready!” I said. If it weren’t for the shaky breath, I would’ve been very convincing.

He twisted his brows in confusion from my demeanour, and then rolled his eyes with a smile that escaped his lips. “Let me give you a tour.”