Dangerous

When Elle woke up still in Shannon's arms, she caught herself being surprised that it hadn't just been a dream. Before she'd opened her eyes, she'd silently begged whoever to let it all have been real. It had. He was still sleeping peacefully beside her. He didn't smell like he'd drank a whole bar, and he wasn't twitching in his sleep like he always did when he'd taken something. It was real. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at him. She had no idea what any of it meant.

His eyes slid open a few minutes later, and she quickly dried her tears. She didn't even fully know why she'd been crying, she sure as hell wasn't going to let him see it if she could avoid it. It was too late. He rose up on an elbow and stared at her.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, and she nodded.

"Of course," she tried to sound upbeat.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, and she shook her head.

"I... I don't know," she told him, and he didn't seem to buy it. "I guess... I guess I'm scared," she said, feeling stupid.

"Scared?" he asked her, and she nodded. "Of what?" he asked, and she shrugged as she looked over his shoulder at the clock. They had about an hour to get to the venue for the show.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. We've gotta go," she said to him, composing herself just enough to rise from the bed and gather her clothes. Without another word, she locked herself in the bathroom, hoping he'd just go. It took a few minutes, but he did. The door slammed just as she'd finished getting dressed.

She knew she'd probably upset him, but she hadn't known what else to do. As far as she was concerned, them sleeping together had probably been a mistake. She figured it had just been a one-time thing and hadn't really meant anything to Shannon. It wasn't that she had a low opinion of him, because she didn't. It was mostly just that she knew how he was. He never kept a girlfriend for more than about five minutes. She didn't want to let herself get even more attached to him than she already was, just for him to say that it was a one-off and he didn't even have real feelings for her. For all she knew, he could've easily been talking about someone else in the interview earlier in the day.

As she sat on the couch feeling sorry for herself, more tears threatening to fall, her phone rang. Jared's name flashed across the screen, and she almost didn't answer it but decided better of it.

"Hey, Jay," she said, knowing that he'd be instantly able to tell that she was upset.

"What happened?" he asked her, and his tone told her that he'd already heard something from Shannon.

"What do you mean?" she tried to make her voice stronger, less whiny.

"I just saw Shan in the hallway. He was pissed. I asked him what was wrong, and he said to ask you."

"I... We... We had sex."

He didn't say anything. In fact, the line went totally dead. She called him back and was sent to voicemail. She figured out why a minute later when he was knocking at her door and screaming her name right there in the hallway. She let him in, and he slammed the door behind himself.

"I'm sorry, you what?" he asked her, grabbing her by the shoulders. She brushed him off and went to sit down.

"We had sex."

"Then why the fuck are you both acting like the other killed your puppy?"

"I kinda... not really but kinda... kicked him out after."

"You what?! I'm sorry, are we both talking about the same guy here? Shannon? My brother, Shannon? The one you've been in love with for twenty years? That one?"

"Yeah."

"You've gotta give me more details here."

"I'm fucking terrified of him, okay? I don't want to be another one-night-stand. I don't want to be a booty call, or someone he calls when he's bored and tired of jacking off. I want him for real."

"Did you tell him any of that?"

"...No."

"Do you know for sure that's all he wanted, just sex? Do you know for sure he doesn't want more? He won't talk to me about it, but has he said that to you?"

"...No."

"You're a fucking idiot, Elle."

"Thanks, Jay."

"I'm serious. You fucking finally got what you've wanted for so long, and you kick him out when it's done? Then you tell me all these things that you don't want him to do to you, when you just did exactly that to him?"

"Fuck."

"Yep. You're officially the asshole."

There wasn't enough time to talk to him before the show. She was just going to have to wait til after and hope that he wouldn't do anything stupid before then. He wouldn't look at her as they rode to the venue. She set up his drum kit when they got there, and while he was usually right there with her helping and joking with her, he was nowhere to be found.

The only time he did talk to her the whole show, it was just because his in-ear monitors had fallen out mid-song, and she was the only one that had perfected the art of crouching behind him and re-connecting them to the strap around his waist and sticking them back in his ears for him without getting an elbow to the face.