I'm a User... You're My Drug

I returned home the next day around noon. I finally felt well enough to go home and I was able to walk with no trouble. I used make up to hide the bruises and burns on my face. When I got home, Gertrude was faithfully there cleaning the place.

"Hey, Gert." I said smiling as I walked in the apartment door. I was so happy to see her finally. My son heard me come in and came running into the living room.

"Mommy!!" He smiled and ran to me with arms wide open. I embraced him in a hug and picked him up, holding onto him for dear life. I never wanted to let go. "Mommy, you're squishing me." He giggled. 

"I just missed you so much, baby." I said, setting him down.

"I missed you, too, Mommy." I hugged him once again before he went back to him room to play with his toys. It was Saturday, so he didn't have school today.

"It's nice to see you feeling well, Rhiannon." Gert said, smiling.

"I missed you so much. Thank you for everything." I said and embraced her in a tight hug. 

"Oh honey, you know that I would do anything for you. You're like a daughter to me. Listen, I was invited to a party tonight as Bruce Wayne's mansion. He said I could bring you and Phoenix. I was hoping you would join me. Bruce is a really good man, I think you'll like him." She smiled. 

"You know what? I think it would be great for us to get out of the house and meet new people. We will definitely be joining you. When should we leave?" 

"Well it starts at 5pm, but I was thinking maybe we could leave in the next hour so I can take you and Phoenix to get lunch and then go dress shopping and the boy needs a tuxedo."

"That would be simply amazing, Gert. Count us in. I'll go get ready and then I'll get Phoenix ready." I went to my room and picked out an outfit to go shopping in. I had to text Joker and let him know that I wouldn't be at work tonight. He'd probably be happy that I wasn't going in.

Hey, I won't be going to work tonight. Going out with a friend. Talk to ya later. <3 I sent the text and almost immediately got a response.

Where are you going and with who? What are you going to be out doing?  Better not be getting into any trouble. He was treating me like a damn child, so I decided I wouldn't reply. Fuck em. I'm still mad at him for what he done. I did have love for him, but that didn't change the fact that he hurt me. I didn't have to answer to him.

I picked out a Guns N Roses t-shirt and a pair of jeans and converse. I went into the bathroom and took a long hot shower. I needed it. I needed to feel the hot water running over my skin, loosening my tense muscles. I needed the time alone to think. Think about life and my relationship with Joker. Why did I fall for him so quickly? Why did I stay even after what he done? Why did I decide to stay involved with him after our first date and even after I knew he was an evil cold blooded killer. A criminal. What kind of life would that be? The water suddenly ran cold, as I was lost in my own thoughts. I quickly finished rinsing off and climbed out. I looked at myself in the mirror, examining my wounds. Nothing a ton of good make up won't cover up. I threw my clothes on and then I applied the layers of foundation and then blush, eyeliner, eye shadow and then mascara. I then put on some pink lip gloss and walked out of the bathroom. When I came into the living room, Gert had Phoenix all ready. That woman didn't miss a beat.

"Hey, thanks for getting him ready. I'm ready whenever you are." 

"You always look beautiful." She smiled. I grabbed my purse and we all walked out of the apartment building. We walked down to the bus stop and I felt my phone vibrate. 

Why the fuck aren't you answering your phone? I'm starting to get pissed. You better have a good excuse. -J

Always the fuckin gentleman aren't you? I really don't think I have to answer to you. Especially after what you pulled. Don't you have something better to do than pester me? Don't you have a bank to go rob or something?  I replied to his text and then put my phone back in my purse. I didn't have to answer to him. Screw him. The bus pulled up and we got on and made our way across town. It took about thirty minutes to get to our destination. When we got to this side of town, everything was so nice and people were actually out and about living their lives. It was like a totally different world. 

"This is us." Gert said, nudging me. I was so amazed, I didn't realize the bus had stopped. I got up and the three of us got off the bus. We walked about a half a mile down when we came to a huge mansion. It was gorgeous. It was surrounded my a twenty foot wrought iron fence and a gate. We walked up to the gate and Gert put in a code and the gates opened. It was simply amazing. We began walking into the gates when a car pulled up.

"Here's our ride." Gert said. We all got into the old black car. 

"This is your house?" I asked amazed by it. I was like a kid at a candy store.

"Yes, this is mine and my late husband's home. We built this house back in 1970, when I was only 19 years old. We both shared a love of the old Victorian style mansions. So, he built me this house. We raised our children here. About a mile down the rode is where Bruce lives." She told us with so much happiness in her eyes.

"If I lived in this house, I would never leave. Especially to come to my side of town." I said.

"Well, Rhiannon, I told you why I do it. I love children." I loved Gertrude, but there was something she wasn't telling me about her children. I had a feeling.

"How many kids do you have, Gert?" I asked.

"Honey, I already told you. Now let's get inside. It looks like a storm is rolling in." She totally blew off my question which made me even more suspicious. We all went inside the huge Gothic style mansion. It was absolutely beautiful. The walls were filled with pictures of family and musicians. There were gold records lining the walls as well. I looked over to the wall where there was a fireplace and above it was a huge picture of rock legend Lemmy Kilmister. 

"Hey, Gert, why do you have a huge picture of Lemmy from Motorhead?" I asked, pointing to the photo.

"That's my late husband." She smiled.

"Wait, but you said your last name is Grady?" 

"It is my maiden name. I didn't want you to know quite yet who I really was." 

"That's so awesome, Gert. So, that explains why your kids are into the music scene." 

"Yes. Now, there's no time to waste. I'm going to go check on my horses, I'll be right back. Make yourself at home." I took Phoenix into the kitchen and got him half of a peanut butter sandwich to distract him while I looked around. I was still suspicious of what she was trying to hide.

I walked up a grand staircase and examined the pictures on the walls. There were plenty of pictures of her children, but none of the whole family together or even the kids all together. I looked in one room and saw that it was probably her room. I closed the door and made my way down to another room, when I opened the door, I was in shock. I went in and looked at all of the newspaper clippings hanging on the walls and pictures all over the place. They were all clippings and pictures of the Joker. What the fuck was going on? I looked over at the desk and there was one picture that seemed out of place. It was a picture of a normal looking man, smiling. His picture wasn't out on any of the walls in the house. Just one in here. The man in the picture looked like he was only 20 something. I was now more suspicious than ever. I didn't know if I should question Gertrude or let it go?

I jumped when I heard the door downstairs shut. She was back in, I had to hurry and get back down there. I quickly and quietly left the room and went downstairs. I then took my phone out and checked it. Twenty missed called and a text. Great, I'm sure he's super pissed now. I went to check the text when Gertrude walked up to me.

"So, are you ready to go get some lunch and go shopping?" She asked. 

"Yeah! I'm excited. Let's go. I just need to step out and make a phone call first. Just a minute." I walked out onto the back patio and dialed Joker's number.

"Well, it's about fuckin time. What took ya? You been out with some guy??" He asked. 

"Seriously, Joker, this has to stop. You don't own me. For your information, I have been with my son." I said.

"You're serious? After everything that we've been through?"He said pissed off.

"So what? I can't have a life?"

"Yes, babe, you can. I'm sorry. Just please call me tonight before you go to bed."

"Alright I will. Now I have to go, ok? I'll talk to you later."  I said and then hung up. That seemed too easy. He would never have just let that go. I know him too well.

I then went inside and grabbed my purse and headed out the door to meet up with Gertrude and Phoenix. I got into the car with them and we drove off down the road. All I could think about was how much I missed Joker and why the hell Gertrude had a shrine of him and who was that young man in the picture? I didn't want to bring it up to Gertrude at all. We went shopping and Gert bought me a new dress and heels to match and bought my son a tux. We went and ate at an Italian restaurant and then went back to the mansion to get ready.

 A few minutes later, we pulled up to a gate that had a line of cars. This must be the party. I was nervous to meet Bruce and to be at such a huge party full of rich people. I felt out of place. We finally pulled up to a valet and we got out and he took the car to park it. We walked into the huge mansion and there were more people in one room than I had ever met in my lifetime. When we got a ways in, a tall, muscular looking man with brown hair walked up to us.

"Gertrude! It's great to see you, I'm so glad you could make it." The man was very excited and hugged Gertrude.

"It's so nice to see you, Bruce! I haven't seen you in ages." She said excitedly. 

"These must be your guests you told me about." He said looking over at me and Phoenix and smiling.

"Yes, this is Rhiannon Van Tassell and her son, Phoenix. They're just like family. I'm so happy for you to meet them."

"So nice to meet you both." He said, reaching his hand out to me to shake and then to my son. "Listen, Gert, I have a surprise for you. Wait here." He walked off only to return a few minutes later with another man. Gertrude's eyes instantly lit up.

"Killian!!" Gertrude practically jumped into this young man's arms. "Oh, son, I have missed you so much."

"I missed you, too, Mom." He smiled and it felt like I was melting into his smile. I had to keep my composure. 

"Oh, Killian, this is Rhiannon Van Tassell and her son Phoenix. I'm his nanny. He's an absolute doll." Gertrude introduced us excitedly.

"Oh, you're more than just a nanny, Gert. You're like a mother to me." I said, smiling. 

"I'm so happy that you're doing something that you enjoy, mother. It's so nice to meet you, Rhiannon, and you as well little man." Killian said.

"Oh, Bruce, how can I ever thank you?!" Gertrude said.

"Seeing you happy is enough for me." Bruce said. He was a super nice guy, doing this for her and getting nothing in return. 

"Thank you, Bruce."

"You're welcome. Sorry to cut this short, but I have to mingle a little. I'll see you around and enjoy the party. There's drink and food trays coming around if should want some." Bruce smiled and walked away to entertain his other guests.

"Killian, I do hope you're going to come and stay with me for awhile." Gertrude said.

"Of course, mother. I took a week off from my job so I could come and stay with you."

We stayed at the party for a couple of hours until Phoenix became tired. I had offered to take a taxi home, but Gert wouldn't have it. She explained that she was tired too and wanted to hang out with Killian anyways, so we all just headed back to her house. Phoenix fell asleep on the way to her house, so when we got there, Killian carried him inside and took him to one of the bedrooms on the first floor.

"Thank you, Killian. You saved my arms from having to carry him." I laughed.

"It's no problem, really." He said as we walked back into the kitchen where Gertrude was cooking something that smelled amazing.

"What are you cooking, Gert?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm just putting on some cube steaks. I don't know about you all, but finger foods just isn't cutting it." She said, refering to the finger food from the party.

"I'm totally down with that, Mom. Mom makes the best cube steak. You'll love it." Killian said to me.

"Oh, I'm sure I will, but I guess I should probably get Phoenix home. He does have school tomorrow." I said.

"Sweetie, just let him sleep here tonight. Killian can drive him to school in the morning. Why don't you both stay tonight?" Gertrude offered.

"Are you sure, Gert? I don't want to impose." I said.

"Yes, I am positive. Now, Killian, I need to talk to you for a minute." She grabbed his arm and they walked down the hall and went into a room. I hated to eavesdrop, but that was just a little suspicious and I knew Gert had been hiding something big. I needed to know. I took my heels off and quietly walked down the hall and stood outside of the door they went into and listened.

"No, Killian, I haven't heard from him. He doesn't come around. Last time I saw him, he tried to kill me. That was when he escaped from the asylum. He's been in a lot of trouble these last 5 years." Gert said.

"You mean he was able to break out of that god damn asylum? Mom, you know what this means. You're not safe. He's already tried to kill you once. Let's not risk a second time. Come back with me to California. You'll be safe there." Killian said, raising his voice. Who were they talking about?

"I can't leave here, Killian, especially not now. I have to protect her and the boy. They're not safe, either. She works at that club that James bought a little over a month ago. I don't even know if she knows he owns it." Who is James? Joker bought the club, not a guy named James...unless??

"Mom, it's not your place."

"Killian, my mind is set. I won't leave them. Now come on, before she thinks we got lost. We will finish this conversation later." I then hurried back to the kitchen and sat on one of the bar stools before they came out of the room.

"Sorry, dear, we were just discussing some private matters." Gertrude said.

"No, you're fine. Um, I need to run to my place and get pajama's and my toothbrush and stuff. I can take the bus and I should be back in an hour." I said, standing up.

"Oh, hun, here just take my SUV." Gert said handing me a set of car keys.

"Wow. Thank you Gertrude, I really appreciate it." I hugged her and then headed out the door to the garage. The SUV was a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee. Nice. I got into it and clicked the garage button and headed out. It took me about 20 minutes to get to my apartment. I parked out front and headed into my building. I then made my way up to my apartment and went inside. When I got there, something didn't feel right. I switched the lights on and jumped and grabbed my chest when I saw Joker sitting there in my recliner chair.

"Oh my gosh, Joker! Why would you do that?? You nearly gave me a heart attack." I said.

"Well, I don't know, Rhiannon. Maybe it's because I know you're a fuckin liar." He stood up and quickly made his way over to me, backing me into the wall.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Joker!" I yelled.

"Oh don't fuckin play dumb. I know you went to Bruce Wayne's party. You think I don't have eyes everywhere??" He now had my chin in his hand holding my face.

"What's it to you? I didn't do anything wrong." 

"Oh so you mean you weren't seen leaving with a man?" He said angrily.

"He was with Gertrude. That was her son, you asshole!" All of a sudden, his eyes grew darker and he was now very pissed. He then threw me on the floor in a fit of rage. 

"Where the hell is your son? Why did you leave him? Aren't you staying here tonight?" 

"What the fuck is your problem, Joker! I am staying at Gertrude's tonight." He then walked over to me before I could get back up and he kicked me hard in the stomach. I began coughing and trying not to cry. I decided that I had enough. I grabbed his ankle, causing him to fall. I then grabbed a vase off the shelf and smashed it over his head. 

"Fuck you! Get out of my house!" I began grabbing anything close to me and throwing it at him. He stood up and walked over to me as if nothing was even touching him. I tried to run and he grabbed me around the waist. I elbowed him in the gut and it didn't even phase him.

 He then pinned me up against the wall and kissed me hard. I tried to fight him off at first, because I didn't want to kiss him, I wanted to be mad at him and he was making it hard. I hated when he done this. He made it hard for me to stay mad. He then picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him. I was still in the dress, so he just reached up and ripped my underwear off of me. I heard unzipping and it wasn't long before I felt him. I felt him all the way inside of me. It hurt a little at first. I had never had someone so very well endowed. In the midst of it, he carried me to the bed and laid me down. I couldn't keep my hand off of him and I couldn't keep quiet. There was no way. After what seemed like hours, he finally finished. He got up off of me and I just laid there for awhile, too amazed to move, plus my legs wouldn't quite work. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"That was amazing." I said, smiling up at him.

"I won't argue with you on that." He smiled back.

"Finally something we can agree on." I giggled.

"You know I love you, Rhiannon." He said as he stroked my hair.

"I know. I love you, too, Joker." He then kissed me again. He then helped me to my feet and held me in his arms.

"I don't mean to hurt you, babe. You just make me so damn crazy. I'm out of my mind without you."

"I know, babe, me too. I hate this, but I have to go. I've been gone over an hour. They'll worry and Phoenix is there." I said looking up at him. I was only 5'3" without my heels and he was like 6'2". He towered over me.

"I understand, my love." He kissed me again and let go of me. He walked over to my closet and got my travel bag out for me. He filled it with everything I needed while I got myself cleaned up. He then walked me out to my vehicle.

"You know, I'll be seeing you tomorrow." I said smiling.

"I know, but that seems like an eternity. Just make sure that you text me before you go to bed. I love you." He said and kissed me again. He then put my bag in the car and opened my door for me. I got in and shut the door and rolled the window down.

"I love you, too." I smiled. He stole one more kiss before I started up the Jeep and began driving away. I called Gert and told her that I was running late because I decided to take a shower at my place before coming back. Which wasn't entirely untrue. I just skipped the part where I had sex with Joker first. 

When I got to Gertrude's house, I ate dinner with them and then said my goodnight's to them and went to the room I was staying in tonight. It had a desk with a lamp in the corner, so I decided to write another song before going to bed. After finishing my song, I went over to the king size bed, and fell into a deep sleep.