Status: Complete!
Closer to the Edge
e l e v e n - b e y o n d . s o r r y
*Jared*
It wasn't the fact that they were together. That wasn't what had driven me so crazy. In fact, I'd been pretty sure that they would end up together at some point. Like I've said before, I'd never seen my brother look at a woman the way he looked at Natalia. I knew there was something between them and I knew that they weren't going to be able to resist it. I mostly just couldn't believe that they'd lied to me. I couldn't figure out why. There wasn't really any reason at all for both of them to just straight up lie.
*Natalia*
I ended up walking around the city for a few hours. Shannon called me a couple times, then the calls stopped, telling me that they were playing their show. I didn't really know what to make of anything that had happened. I couldn't believe Jared had gotten so mad. I couldn't believe that Shannon had threatened to leave the band for me. I couldn't believe it had all blown up like it had, and so quickly. Part of me wanted to just hop on a plane and go home, but I knew I couldn't do that. At least for the moment I still had a job to do, and I had to talk to Shannon at some point about the whole love thing. I couldn't believe he'd said it like that, so nonchalantly like it was something he said all the time. I wondered how long he'd really felt that way. I loved him and I'd known it for a while, I just couldn't say anything about it because I'd had no idea before where his head really was. I guess I still didn't know. Maybe I didn't know where my head was either.
Finally, I circled back to the venue where the band was playing. I let myself into the bus and curled up in my bunk, hoping no one would notice I was there when they started loading back on. It didn't work. Shannon found me right away and asked me to take a walk with him.
"I'm sorry," he said before my feet even touched the ground from the bus stairs.
"Me too," I whispered, matching my stride with his on the sidewalk.
"Where does this leave us?" he asked, cutting right to the point. His voice was quiet and his eyes were sad.
"I'm not sure," I told him honestly, and he stopped and reached for my hands. I gave them to him and he kissed me firmly on the forehead.
"I do love you. I need you to know that. I wasn't exactly planning on telling you during an argument with my brother, but I do," he said, his eyes glassy like they were about to spill tears. The whole time I'd been out walking I'd been convincing myself that I couldn't say it back to him right now; that I needed to figure out what was going on with everything first. But for some reason as he was standing there in the shadows of the streetlights, his soft eyes staring into mine, I couldn't resist him.
"I love you too, Shan. I'm not sure how it happened and I'm not sure what the fuck we do from here, but I love you so much," I told him, and he leaned in automatically to kiss my lips.
"We need to talk to Jared," he whispered, his lips still inches away from mine.
"I know," I told him, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him one more time.
We headed back to the bus, and I was surprised to see that it was practically empty. Jared seemed to be the only one on it, sitting cross-legged on the bench seat in the front lounge.
"We've gotta talk," he said, and Shannon and I both nodded, sitting down next to him. "I didn't mean to get so angry, and there are things that I said that I definitely regret. But you two have a lot of fucking explaining to do," he said, and Shan and I both nodded again.
"Well, you obviously know that Natalia and I have been trying to maintain a down-low relationship," Shannon started, and I was surprised at how steady he was able to keep his voice.
"How long?" Jared asked, and I could almost see Shannon flinch.
"Since the day she told us she had to quit the job," Shan said quietly, and I could see the rage re-building in Jared's eyes.
"The same fucking day?" he asked, and I nodded.
"After you left, Shan and I talked and we realized that we couldn't give up on what we knew was between us. We had to give us a chance," I said, cursing myself for the fact that my voice shook just slightly.
"And you couldn't tell me that that was the real decision, why?" Jared asked, and I could tell that he was trying his absolute hardest to keep himself steady.
"Because you would have told us what a bad idea it was. You would have told me not to do it," Shannon spoke up, and Jared shot him daggers through his eyes.
"So instead you decided to lie to me?" Jared asked, and I felt Shannon start to shake next to me.
"We're sorry, Jay," Shannon said, his voice tearful.
"We're beyond sorry," I confirmed, and I saw Jared soften just a little.
"Are you really in love?" Jared asked, and Shannon snaked his arm around my waist.
"Very much so," Shannon told him, and I nodded when Jared's eyes darted to me.
"Fine. I guess you're forgiven. But you're both still dicks," Jared said, and I felt Shannon relax beside me.
"Does this mean I can keep my job?" I asked, and Jared smiled just slightly.
"I guess so. But only because it's such a fucking hassle to find another tour manager," he said, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Thanks, Jay," I said, standing and motioning for him to hug me. He did.
"You're welcome. But I swear to god if I ever catch either of you lying to me about anything again, I'll kill you both. You know I could hide bodies," Jared said, and Shannon laughed beside me.
"Hidden bodies, got it," he said, standing to hug his brother.
"Speaking of, did you kill the rest of the crew and Tomo? How did you manage to get the bus empty?" I asked a moment later, and Jared laughed maniacally.
"You'll never know," he said, and Shannon chuckled.
"Force them to stay in a greenroom?" Shan asked, and Jared shrugged.
"Maybe," he said, laughing and heading off of the bus and back into the venue to get them.
"Shan, I love you," I told him once Jared was gone, snaking my arms around his waist.
"I love you too, Nat. I can't believe how much," he whispered, kissing me lightly and then planting silly wet kisses all over my face, making me giggle as the rest of the guys started piling on the bus.
"Just cause you're out in the open now doesn't mean you need to be gross," Tomo exclaimed as he walked past us, punching us both playfully as he went. I stuck my tongue out at him and laughed as Shannon kissed me one more time.
It wasn't the fact that they were together. That wasn't what had driven me so crazy. In fact, I'd been pretty sure that they would end up together at some point. Like I've said before, I'd never seen my brother look at a woman the way he looked at Natalia. I knew there was something between them and I knew that they weren't going to be able to resist it. I mostly just couldn't believe that they'd lied to me. I couldn't figure out why. There wasn't really any reason at all for both of them to just straight up lie.
*Natalia*
I ended up walking around the city for a few hours. Shannon called me a couple times, then the calls stopped, telling me that they were playing their show. I didn't really know what to make of anything that had happened. I couldn't believe Jared had gotten so mad. I couldn't believe that Shannon had threatened to leave the band for me. I couldn't believe it had all blown up like it had, and so quickly. Part of me wanted to just hop on a plane and go home, but I knew I couldn't do that. At least for the moment I still had a job to do, and I had to talk to Shannon at some point about the whole love thing. I couldn't believe he'd said it like that, so nonchalantly like it was something he said all the time. I wondered how long he'd really felt that way. I loved him and I'd known it for a while, I just couldn't say anything about it because I'd had no idea before where his head really was. I guess I still didn't know. Maybe I didn't know where my head was either.
Finally, I circled back to the venue where the band was playing. I let myself into the bus and curled up in my bunk, hoping no one would notice I was there when they started loading back on. It didn't work. Shannon found me right away and asked me to take a walk with him.
"I'm sorry," he said before my feet even touched the ground from the bus stairs.
"Me too," I whispered, matching my stride with his on the sidewalk.
"Where does this leave us?" he asked, cutting right to the point. His voice was quiet and his eyes were sad.
"I'm not sure," I told him honestly, and he stopped and reached for my hands. I gave them to him and he kissed me firmly on the forehead.
"I do love you. I need you to know that. I wasn't exactly planning on telling you during an argument with my brother, but I do," he said, his eyes glassy like they were about to spill tears. The whole time I'd been out walking I'd been convincing myself that I couldn't say it back to him right now; that I needed to figure out what was going on with everything first. But for some reason as he was standing there in the shadows of the streetlights, his soft eyes staring into mine, I couldn't resist him.
"I love you too, Shan. I'm not sure how it happened and I'm not sure what the fuck we do from here, but I love you so much," I told him, and he leaned in automatically to kiss my lips.
"We need to talk to Jared," he whispered, his lips still inches away from mine.
"I know," I told him, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him one more time.
We headed back to the bus, and I was surprised to see that it was practically empty. Jared seemed to be the only one on it, sitting cross-legged on the bench seat in the front lounge.
"We've gotta talk," he said, and Shannon and I both nodded, sitting down next to him. "I didn't mean to get so angry, and there are things that I said that I definitely regret. But you two have a lot of fucking explaining to do," he said, and Shan and I both nodded again.
"Well, you obviously know that Natalia and I have been trying to maintain a down-low relationship," Shannon started, and I was surprised at how steady he was able to keep his voice.
"How long?" Jared asked, and I could almost see Shannon flinch.
"Since the day she told us she had to quit the job," Shan said quietly, and I could see the rage re-building in Jared's eyes.
"The same fucking day?" he asked, and I nodded.
"After you left, Shan and I talked and we realized that we couldn't give up on what we knew was between us. We had to give us a chance," I said, cursing myself for the fact that my voice shook just slightly.
"And you couldn't tell me that that was the real decision, why?" Jared asked, and I could tell that he was trying his absolute hardest to keep himself steady.
"Because you would have told us what a bad idea it was. You would have told me not to do it," Shannon spoke up, and Jared shot him daggers through his eyes.
"So instead you decided to lie to me?" Jared asked, and I felt Shannon start to shake next to me.
"We're sorry, Jay," Shannon said, his voice tearful.
"We're beyond sorry," I confirmed, and I saw Jared soften just a little.
"Are you really in love?" Jared asked, and Shannon snaked his arm around my waist.
"Very much so," Shannon told him, and I nodded when Jared's eyes darted to me.
"Fine. I guess you're forgiven. But you're both still dicks," Jared said, and I felt Shannon relax beside me.
"Does this mean I can keep my job?" I asked, and Jared smiled just slightly.
"I guess so. But only because it's such a fucking hassle to find another tour manager," he said, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Thanks, Jay," I said, standing and motioning for him to hug me. He did.
"You're welcome. But I swear to god if I ever catch either of you lying to me about anything again, I'll kill you both. You know I could hide bodies," Jared said, and Shannon laughed beside me.
"Hidden bodies, got it," he said, standing to hug his brother.
"Speaking of, did you kill the rest of the crew and Tomo? How did you manage to get the bus empty?" I asked a moment later, and Jared laughed maniacally.
"You'll never know," he said, and Shannon chuckled.
"Force them to stay in a greenroom?" Shan asked, and Jared shrugged.
"Maybe," he said, laughing and heading off of the bus and back into the venue to get them.
"Shan, I love you," I told him once Jared was gone, snaking my arms around his waist.
"I love you too, Nat. I can't believe how much," he whispered, kissing me lightly and then planting silly wet kisses all over my face, making me giggle as the rest of the guys started piling on the bus.
"Just cause you're out in the open now doesn't mean you need to be gross," Tomo exclaimed as he walked past us, punching us both playfully as he went. I stuck my tongue out at him and laughed as Shannon kissed me one more time.