Status: Complete!
Closer to the Edge
f o u r - s e c o n d . f i d d l e
*Jared*
I don't know what had gotten into me. I knew I shouldn't kiss her. I knew Shannon would absolutely kill me if he found out. Something just came over me and I couldn't resist her. It was so weird. This kind of stuff didn't usually happen. Usually, I was much better at controlling myself. But there was just something about that girl.
*Natalia*
The first few days of tour were so hectic and all over the place that it wasn't even possible for me to have any sort of thoughts about the Letos other than work-related things. I was quickly learning that it took not only Jared and Shannon, but also Tomo a few days to re-adjust to tour. They tended to be a little grumpier and harder to manage for those first few days.
A week in, everything had fallen into place and my life became much easier. The band and crew were all staying in a hotel instead of the bus for the night because there were two shows in the same city two nights in a row. The bus dropped us off at the hotel and I went in before everyone else to check in. I gave everyone's names to the woman behind the desk and she stared at her computer for a moment, reaching below her to grab room keys. She handed them over to me and I noticed that there seemed to be one less than I'd calculated. I asked her about it and it turned out that somehow I'd booked rooms for everyone in the band and crew but myself. I asked her if there were any rooms empty that I could book for myself right then, and of course there weren't. Thanking her, I took the keys back to the bus and handed them out.
I sat on the bench seat in front lounge, watching everyone else filter up to their rooms, not really quite sure what to do. Shannon caught my eye and cocked his head to the side. I waved him off and sat there until everyone was off the bus. A minute later my phone pinged with a notification and I looked down to see Shannon's name on the screen. I clicked the message open and had to chuckle at what I saw.
"Forget to book yourself a room?"
"How did you know?"
"You look like a lost puppy."
"What do I do?"
"Come to 217. I have a pull-out couch you can sleep on, no problem."
I made my way upstairs, and as I approached the room, Shannon opened the door and laughed when he saw me. As I stepped past him into the room, I waved my middle finger in his face and
he laughed again.
"Be careful, Natty, remember I have the power to make you have nowhere to stay," he said, and I play-punched him on the shoulder.
"You wouldn't do that to poor little me," I said the words as a joke, but Shannon got serious.
"I wouldn't," he said, perching himself on the edge of the bed. He sat there and looked at me for a moment, and I recognized the look as the one Jared got on his face when he was trying to figure out what to say. The more time I spent with them, the more I started noticing all the small ways that they were so alike. They had a lot of the same facial expressions, and even a lot of the same body language. Shannon looked at me for a while longer before seemingly finally figuring out what he wanted to say.
"Has anything happened between you and Jared?" he asked, and it caught me completely off-guard.
"I... we kissed," I confessed, knowing that lying to him would get me nowhere.
"I thought so," he whispered, and I could tell that he was hurt, but I didn't know whether it was because I'd betrayed him and kissed Jared or because Jared had betrayed him and kissed me.
"I'm sorry, Shan. I'm not sure how it happened." I was apologizing and not totally sure why.
"You have nothing to apologize for. We're not in a relationship or anything. We kissed once when we technically weren't even supposed to. I just... I get tired of always being second-fiddle to him sometimes." The words fell out of his mouth before he seemed to realize they were coming. He seemed surprised that they had.
"You're not second-fiddle to him at all," I said, and his eyes raised up to meet mine.
"No, usually I am. He's more famous, he's more loved, he's more successful. That's just how it is, and usually I'm okay with it. I've accepted it. But this... you... I don't know if I can accept it this time," he said, and I watched as his eyes became watery with tears.
"You're not second-fiddle to him," I repeated it, hoping he'd believe me. He didn't say anything; just sat there staring at me for a while.
"You're the sweetest person I've ever met," he whispered, coming over to sit beside me on the couch. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to uphold my half of this deal with him," he said, leaning his head lightly on my shoulder.
"Not trying to kick you while you're down or anything, but you're already failing a little. You did kiss me before he did," I said, and he laughed lightly.
"Yeah, well, it's your fault for being you," he said, taking my hand and squeezing.
"Actually, it's your fault for being you," I replied, leaning my head on his. "You Letos are gonna be the fuckin' death of me," I said, and he laughed again.
"If it makes you feel better, you're probably gonna be the death of me, too."
"It doesn't make me feel better."
"Oh. Well, at least I tried."
I don't know what had gotten into me. I knew I shouldn't kiss her. I knew Shannon would absolutely kill me if he found out. Something just came over me and I couldn't resist her. It was so weird. This kind of stuff didn't usually happen. Usually, I was much better at controlling myself. But there was just something about that girl.
*Natalia*
The first few days of tour were so hectic and all over the place that it wasn't even possible for me to have any sort of thoughts about the Letos other than work-related things. I was quickly learning that it took not only Jared and Shannon, but also Tomo a few days to re-adjust to tour. They tended to be a little grumpier and harder to manage for those first few days.
A week in, everything had fallen into place and my life became much easier. The band and crew were all staying in a hotel instead of the bus for the night because there were two shows in the same city two nights in a row. The bus dropped us off at the hotel and I went in before everyone else to check in. I gave everyone's names to the woman behind the desk and she stared at her computer for a moment, reaching below her to grab room keys. She handed them over to me and I noticed that there seemed to be one less than I'd calculated. I asked her about it and it turned out that somehow I'd booked rooms for everyone in the band and crew but myself. I asked her if there were any rooms empty that I could book for myself right then, and of course there weren't. Thanking her, I took the keys back to the bus and handed them out.
I sat on the bench seat in front lounge, watching everyone else filter up to their rooms, not really quite sure what to do. Shannon caught my eye and cocked his head to the side. I waved him off and sat there until everyone was off the bus. A minute later my phone pinged with a notification and I looked down to see Shannon's name on the screen. I clicked the message open and had to chuckle at what I saw.
"Forget to book yourself a room?"
"How did you know?"
"You look like a lost puppy."
"What do I do?"
"Come to 217. I have a pull-out couch you can sleep on, no problem."
I made my way upstairs, and as I approached the room, Shannon opened the door and laughed when he saw me. As I stepped past him into the room, I waved my middle finger in his face and
he laughed again.
"Be careful, Natty, remember I have the power to make you have nowhere to stay," he said, and I play-punched him on the shoulder.
"You wouldn't do that to poor little me," I said the words as a joke, but Shannon got serious.
"I wouldn't," he said, perching himself on the edge of the bed. He sat there and looked at me for a moment, and I recognized the look as the one Jared got on his face when he was trying to figure out what to say. The more time I spent with them, the more I started noticing all the small ways that they were so alike. They had a lot of the same facial expressions, and even a lot of the same body language. Shannon looked at me for a while longer before seemingly finally figuring out what he wanted to say.
"Has anything happened between you and Jared?" he asked, and it caught me completely off-guard.
"I... we kissed," I confessed, knowing that lying to him would get me nowhere.
"I thought so," he whispered, and I could tell that he was hurt, but I didn't know whether it was because I'd betrayed him and kissed Jared or because Jared had betrayed him and kissed me.
"I'm sorry, Shan. I'm not sure how it happened." I was apologizing and not totally sure why.
"You have nothing to apologize for. We're not in a relationship or anything. We kissed once when we technically weren't even supposed to. I just... I get tired of always being second-fiddle to him sometimes." The words fell out of his mouth before he seemed to realize they were coming. He seemed surprised that they had.
"You're not second-fiddle to him at all," I said, and his eyes raised up to meet mine.
"No, usually I am. He's more famous, he's more loved, he's more successful. That's just how it is, and usually I'm okay with it. I've accepted it. But this... you... I don't know if I can accept it this time," he said, and I watched as his eyes became watery with tears.
"You're not second-fiddle to him," I repeated it, hoping he'd believe me. He didn't say anything; just sat there staring at me for a while.
"You're the sweetest person I've ever met," he whispered, coming over to sit beside me on the couch. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to uphold my half of this deal with him," he said, leaning his head lightly on my shoulder.
"Not trying to kick you while you're down or anything, but you're already failing a little. You did kiss me before he did," I said, and he laughed lightly.
"Yeah, well, it's your fault for being you," he said, taking my hand and squeezing.
"Actually, it's your fault for being you," I replied, leaning my head on his. "You Letos are gonna be the fuckin' death of me," I said, and he laughed again.
"If it makes you feel better, you're probably gonna be the death of me, too."
"It doesn't make me feel better."
"Oh. Well, at least I tried."