Closer to the Edge

*Shannon*

Natalia had this strange ability to pull words out of me that I didn't even know were there. Telling her about how I felt like I was second-fiddle to Jared was completely unintentional. I couldn't believe I'd said it. It was something in her eyes. She was just so kind. It was getting to the point where I could barely resist her.

*Jared*

We were in trouble. For the first time ever, Shannon and I's pact about neither of us going for the girls that we both liked just wasn't working. I was into her. It wasn't just a crush. I wanted her, and I could tell that Shannon did too. On top of that, I could also tell that she seemed to be into both of us too. I honestly had no idea what the hell to do.

*Natalia*

Just like the first time, the tour seemed to be over before I'd even realized that it had started. The more I did it, the more I absolutely loved touring with them, and not just because of Shannon and Jared. Tomo was quickly becoming one of my best friends, and the entire crew was absolutely fantastic. I'd never loved a job more than I loved this one, even though it came with two beautiful and completely confusing brothers.

I managed to squeak by the rest of the tour without anything else overly controversial happening between me and either of the Letos. I was surprised to find out that Shannon was the cuddler of the two, and he definitely had his arm around me and was pulling me close to him any time we were alone together, but we hadn't kissed any more and I was sad about it even though that thought made me feel really guilty. Jared was more reserved as far as the cuddling went, but he was the one of the two that seemed to be more comfortable just outright saying things about his attraction to me, which I didn't mind at all; it was nice to hear the things he said. We hadn't kissed any more either and I was sad and felt incredibly guilty in that case too.

The last night of tour, we were staying in a hotel so that we could get a good night's sleep to be in the bus all day the next day. Shannon and Jared both stopped by individually to ask me if I was going to the bar down the street with them and the crew. I declined, telling them both I wanted to just have a movie night. It was true, but I must admit that I'd kind of been hoping that one of them would volunteer to stay with me. I wasn't altogether surprised when they didn't.

There was a knock at my door a while later, and I looked through the peephole to see Tomo standing there, a huge smile on his face. I opened the door and he stepped around me into the room, not bothering to wait for me to invite him.

"Hey Tomes, what's up?" I asked him, and when I turned around he had a more serious look on his face than I'd ever seen him have.

"We've gotta talk about a certain pair of Letos," he said, patting the couch beside him for me to sit down.

"Okay..." I trailed off, wondering what he was about to say.

"They both dig you, obviously," he said, settling in and arranging his legs underneath him.

"I... Yeah, I guess."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to act on it or just leave them both hanging there?"

"They... made a-"

"A pact, yeah. A pact that they're dramatically failing at anyway."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you need to let them off the hook. You need to pick one or neither. They're both crazy for you. They talk about you constantly when the other isn't around. They're like lovesick puppies."

"Really?"

"Really. I know you're obviously into them too, but you need to figure out which one or if it'll be neither."

"What if I don't know which one?"

"Figure it out."

"How?"

"I have no fuckin' clue," he said with a smile, and I was suddenly very thankful to have him there. I knew he was right. I had to either pick one or let them both go. The problem was that I'd gotten so attached to both of them for so many different reasons.

"Thanks, Tomes."

"Sure thing. Movies?" he asked, looking at my muted TV.

"Absolutely," I replied, un-muting the TV and settling in beside him.

"Sorry I had to be a dick," he mumbled a few minutes later, and I couldn't help but laugh at the afterthought.

"It's okay. I deserved it," I said, and he laughed too.

"Well, I wasn't gonna say it first, but yeah, you did," he said, and I punched him in the arm before settling back in with him to finish the movie.



On the bus the next day, I stayed in my bunk most of the journey, wondering what the hell I was going to do. I genuinely didn't know. I couldn't bear the thought of letting them both go, but I also didn't know how the hell I was supposed to pick one of them. They were both so absolutely amazing in so many completely different ways. Not to mention, I had no idea if it would even be possible for me to pick one of them. They'd made their pact and both of them were obviously pretty keen on breaking it, but I really had no idea what would happen if I went to one of them and tried to initiate a relationship or whatever. They might tell me to get lost. Maybe kissing, cuddling, and flirting were one thing and actually pursuing something was completely something else.

I couldn't believe this was really happening. Guys had never even really taken too much of an interest in me at all before, and now I had these two wonderful men and I was just supposed to pick one? I wasn't sure that it was possible.