The One You Feed

I get off the L train and head down to blocks before I get to a familiar store front window with Tattoos lighting it up in neon. A bell rings when I open the door and walk right in. The smell of patchouli fills my nostrils and the sound of Fall Out Boy greets my ears. A smile appears on my lips as I put my purse down at one of the tattoo stations in the shop before heading out to the back alley to find the person I came here to talk to.

I walk out back and see Rylan sitting on the back steps with his business partner, Marcus, smoking a joint. I let out a chuckle, earning the attention of the two men. Rylan looks up at me and shoots me his signature dorky smile,

“Hey Sexy,” he says as he gets up off the steps; handing Marcus the joint as he does so. “What brings you here?”

“How open is your schedule today?” I ask. “I’m in major need for some tattoo therapy.”

“Come inside with me and I’ll check.” He smiles as his left arm snakes around my waist as he guides me back into the shop.

“If you don’t have time for me, I’ll just come back later.” I tell him as he looks through his calendar. “It’s honestly not a big deal.”

“You sound upset so if I have to wiggle some time in for you, I’ll do it.” He informs me. “But lucky you, I don’t have to do that. My next appointment canceled early today; even if she hadn’t I’ll move her appointment. Doing a cover-up of a tattoo that has your name on it, wouldn’t be as important.”

“You really got to stop tattooing your ex’s.” I smirk at him, earning a chuckle from him.

“If I do that, I won’t see your pretty face on a monthly basis or whenever Abel fucks up.” He laughs. “So what did the “love of your life” do this time?” He asks, using air quotes around “love of your life”.

“How do you know Abel did something?” I ask as I sit down onto the tattoo chair. “I could have just really wanted a tattoo.”

“You would have made an appointment if you really just wanted a tattoo.” Rylan points out. “We dated for two years, Randi. I know you better than you think I do. Abel is always the cause of your frustration and heartache; especially this last year.”

“I don’t know why he’s suddenly acting so different.” A sigh of frustration escapes my lips. “It’s like he’s actively trying to push me away. Every time I tell him about my weird dreams he calls me crazy when I think they are more than just dreams.”

“You’re still having those dreams?” He asks, raising an eyebrow in question. “Why don’t you come and talk to me about them?”

“You’re new girlfriend hates me,” I point out. “I don’t want to cause shit between you two. This is why I only come here and talk to you.”

“Our friendship more important than any relationship,” he tells me, offering a smile. “I know these dreams freak you out, so next time you have one just call me. I won’t accuse you of being crazy.”

“It’s like ever since he started fucking that bartender Gabbi, he’s been pushing me away.” I sigh. “Ry, I don’t know what to do. Abel has been my rock for some many years.”

“But what happens when that rock becomes the reason why you start to drown?” He suggests. “I know you’ve been friends with him all of your life but maybe it’s time you cut the strings and leave him behind.”

“Easier said than done.”

“How about we start working on the finishing touches of your dreamcatcher tattoo?” He suggests. “Let’s forget about that douche canoe for a couple hours, okay?”

“Thanks Ry.” I smile as I watch him set everything up. The amount of pain I’m going to be in is going to be the perfect distractions; a well needed distraction.

**

Once Rylan is done, he cleans me up before I pay him and make my journey home. Thankfully it’s only a block away because right now the sun is setting and I don’t do well in the dark. A ten minute walk leads me to my apartment building where I find Abel sitting on the front stoop. In his hands he holds a bottle of Pink Moscato and a big bag of Reese's Cups.

“That’s a horrible pairing you got going on there.” I say, earning the attention of the brunet in front of me. “What are you doing here Abel?”

“I’m sorry for making you feel as though you’re crazy.” He starts. “I should be more supportive of your thoughts and I haven’t been. I’m truly sorry for being the worst best friend in the world.”

“Someone told me to cut you loose,” I start to say. “They think that maybe instead of you being my rock tether me to this earth that maybe, just maybe you’re the rock I’m tied to and is causing me to drown.”

“I see you talked to Rylan.” He snorts, rolling his brown eyes. “What else did that asshole say to you?”

“That’s honestly none of your business.” I snap. “Abel, you’ve been treating me like shit for the last year; ever since the bitch Gabbi walked into your bedroom.”

“Don’t bring Gabbi into this.” He hisses. “This is between us, do not drag her into this shit show you started.”

“I started!?” I yell. “I’m not the one being a shitty fucking friend here, Graham! Don’t you go playing fucking victim here. You’ve been calling me crazy for the last year along with various other names behind my back,” he starts to open his mouth to defend himself, “and don’t even think about acting like you haven’t. You forget we run in the same group of friends. Shit like this can and will get back to me. Since you’re little fuck buddy came into the picture you’ve called me bitch, cunt or my favorite a prude. You called me a prude because I didn’t fuck you. Seriously!? If you were so tired of being my friend, why didn’t you just fucking tell me instead of pretending to give a damn about me?”

“I never said anything like that!” He shouts back at me. “But you know what!? Maybe I am done being your friend. Being your friend has gotten so tiring anymore. I’m done.” He shoves the wine and chocolate into my hand and stomps off; not looking back once. I’m standing in the middle of the sidewalk like a deer in headlights. I can’t believe what just happened.

**

“I never thought I’d live to see the day where Randi and Abel walk separate paths.” My dad says after I tell him. “What went wrong baby girl?”

“Honestly? I have no idea.” I sigh. “He changed, he hasn’t been himself since the girl he’s seeing walked into the picture. I’m not accusing her or anything; it can’t be a coincidence, you know?”

“You okay?” He asks me, rubbing my back as he sits down next to me on the couch.

“It’s two days before my 25th birthday. For the last 20 years I’ve spent my birthday was Abel. I don’t know what to do now. He always made that day even more special for me; now he’s not going to be there. It really sucks.”

“You could always go out with Rylan.” My father suggests. “I know you two are still close even after that horrible breakup.”

“It won’t be the same.” I sigh before burying my face in my hands. My father snakes an arm around me and pulls me into his chest.

“Say the word and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy again.” He tells me. “Anything.”

“Unless you can help me forget the last 20 years with Abel, you can’t help me.” I tell him. “Nothing can make me feel better right now. “ My dad just sits in silence, still holding onto me protective as ever.

**

“Hey Moonchild,” Marigold, my co-worker, says as I walk into Starbucks for my evening shift. “Why the long face?”

“I just broke-up with my best friend,” I tell her as I quickly pull up my hair and put on my apron. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I can’t believe it,” she sighs, “especially since it’s so close to you birthday. You guys always have plans that make The Hangover movies look tame. What are you going to do this year?”

“I honestly have no idea,” I sigh. “But whatever I do has to be amazing. I’ve got to show Abel I don’t need him to have a good time and live my life.”

“I think I know just the place,” she smirks. “It’s over in Queens; it’s called Bad Moon. It’s a new club that is suppose to be this amazing. My cousin has been going there since it opened in August. I don’t know too much about it but she loves it.”

“Awesome,” I smile. “Got any plans this weekend? Because I really could use the company of friends.”

“You can always count me in,” she laughs. “Who else is going?”

“Everyone Abel hates.” I smirk as I begin to text every single friend I have that Abel can’t stand. This weekend is going to be epic, or I’ll die trying...