The One You Feed

My breathing is unsteady as I walk through the woods. Snow is falling all around me but I don’t feel the cold. I have no idea where I’m going, I just continue on the path almost as if on autopilot. It’s quiet, eerily quiet. The only sound is the sound of leaves crunching under my pressure of my heels. There are no sound of birds in the trees nor wolves in the distance. There is just me it seems.

The path stops at an old abandoned church. Candles flicker in the window and I can hear faint talking coming from within. Quietly, I walk into the building and gasp in shock. Everyone in this small church are faceless but the hushed voiced are familiar.

She was so young, a voice mimicking the voice of a coworker says.

She should have listened, I hear in Abel’s voice.

She should have never let the bad wolf in, sounded a lot like Rylan’s voice. I fight for breath at the last statement. This phrase has been haunting every single nightmare and even has been bleeding into my everyday life. I slowly walk up to the casket in the middle of the room, ignoring the faceless stares from the people around me. Looking in is like looking in a mirror. My blue hair is done nicely in curls with my makeup with nice, blue and green eyeshadow and my lips are blood red; a signature of mine. My dress matches the black dress I’m currently wear as well as the heels on my feet.

“There is a battle of good in evil in all of us,” a voice says behind me. I turn around and an older man dressed in traditional Cherokee attire. “A good wolf and a bad wolf battle inside of you. Whichever wolf wins depends on your actions.” He says before pointing to me in the coffin. “Don’t let that wolf win.”

I sit on my bed, threading a web of hemp to make a dreamcatcher. I remember having one when I was younger but lost it when I moved out. And the moment I lost it is when the dreams got worse and more vivid. It was like the dreamcatcher was keeping the evil at bay. But I was made to believe I was crazy when I brought that up to Abel.

As I continue on making my dreamcatcher, I hear my front door open up and quickly close again. Seconds later, Rylan appears at my bedroom door with a bag from the bodega downstairs. He looks concerned and I’m sure my cryptic text is the cause.

“Okay I brought chocolate and more chocolate, so spill.” He says as he sits on my bed next to me. “What did you dream about and what the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m making a dreamcatcher similar to the one one I had as a kid,” I start. “And that’s because I had a vivid dream about my funeral.”

“It was just a dream, Randi, that’s it.” He tells me. “I’m here if you need to talk about it but you have to remember, it really is just a dream.”

“Lately all my dreams seem to have one thing in common.” I sigh. “They all talk about wolves and a battle inside of us- inside myself- between two wolves. And they all tell me not to let the bad wolf win.”

“And do they tell you how to make sure the bad wolf doesn’t win?”

“Something about my actions or some shit.” I let out an annoyed sigh. “I feel like I’m losing my mind, Ry. I have no idea what to do anymore. It’s like life as I know it is falling out from underneath me.”

“With everything that’s going on around you, it’s natural to feel that way.” Rylan says before putting a hand over mine. “Tomorrow is your birthday and you aren’t spending it with a person you’ve spent every birthday with for most of your life. But it’ll be my mission to make sure your birthday will be a birthday you’ll never forget. I promise.”

I can’t help but to smile as I lean over and wrap him in a hug, “Thanks Rylan. For everything.”

“Tomorrow is going to be amazing or I’ll die trying….”