A Soldier's Love Never Dies

In just 13 days of being out in the woods at the cabin, I was able to not only finish all the building but also really sit and think about what this year has had in store for me. I know deep down in my heart that neither Dakota or Jayla would want me to be sad and moping. They would want me to be rejoicing the lives that they had and that's exactly what I'm going to do. I have to let go of the pain and sadness I feel with each case that comes up. I have to remember all the good times we shared together.

Earlier this morning, I packed everything that I had brought with me to the cabin and put it in the bed of the truck. I'm determined to make this day mine and mom's before I have to leave Bethel and get back to DC. Hopefully the lack of cell phone reception hasn't made Mr miss anything important but if there were the Director would've contacted me. Instead of droving the long way around, I cut through the fields using the dirt passages to get back to mom's house. One thing I did while out at the cabin, besides building and thinking, was plan out today. A few days ago when I had to go into town to get more lumber, I spotted something that would make up for so much lost time between my mother and I. Hopefully by the time we get back to the house it will be delivered. As I parked the truck mom came out of the house and stood on the porch.

"You're back a day early." She said as she hugged me once I joined her with my boys.

"I somehow managed to finish the cabin and I figured since I'm done with that maybe I could persuade you to get out of the house for a while."

"What did you have in mind?" She asked curiously.

"We haven't had a girl's day in a very long time."

"That's a good idea! Come and eat breakfast first then I'll get ready to go." She ordered and I patted my leg for Tsunami and Jethro to follow.

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After breakfast, I waited patiently in the kitchen with Tsunami and Jethro as mom got dressed. I know I'm a woman and all but I don't see the point in getting all dressed up just to leave the house. It's not like you're going to impress anyone. I got out to get what I need done and be done with it. I remember reading her letters when I was in the service. She told me all about her days which mostly consisted of taking care of dad's needs and shopping. I'm pretty sure by society's standards that my mom would be considered a shopaholic especially around Christmas and Birthdays. She's always going all out for those occasions. If I bought everything I saw every time I went to the store, I would have so much junk I wouldn't know what to do with it. It astonishes me how women can go out and buy several different pairs of shoes, handbags, or even outfits. Some of which they'll never wear. I think it's just a waste of money.

When mom finally emerged from her bedroom, we headed out. I put my boys in the backseat of my car before helping mom into the passenger seat. I took my seat behind the wheel and it the pavement. The mall was just in the next county so the drive wasn't too long. I parked the car close to the building and turned off the engine. I gave mom the leash to Jethro while I handled Tsunami as we went into the mall. The first place mom went was to Kohl's. Not my kind of store so I took Tsunami with me to FYE.

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All day my mind has ran back to the delivery for my mom. I've missed a lot of Christmas Day celebrations and birthdays while I was in the Marines so this surprise has to be perfect. I just hope that it gets to her house before we get back. I hope she'll like it.

"Honey?"

"Yeah mom? Did you say something?" I asked breaking from my thoughts.

"I asked if you had fun today?"

"Oh of course mom." I said smiling.

"Is there something on your mind?"

"I was just thinking about all the shit you bought today. Why in the world do you need so much clothes?" I asked as I took a bite of the chicken teriyaki.

"A woman has to have choices my dear."

"If you say so mother." I said chuckling as I shook my head. Mom and I finished eating our last dinner together before heading back to the house.

As we got closer to arriving, my head went back to the delivery. I've never had so much anxiety about one thing; not even when I would go into battle with the enemy. I know I don't have to impress her or get any kind of attention from her but it still doesn't explain my anxiety. Moms house came into view and I stopped the car with a smile on my face.

"Why are we stopping?"

"Mom we've missed a lot of Christmas days and birthdays. It's been on my mind a lot lately." I said.

"I know but that doesn't matter. You're home now."

"It matters to me mom. I've missed so much with you and Jayla. So what I'm saying is that this little trip to the mall today was a rouse." I said as I drove the car again and pulled into the driveway.

"What are you talking about?"

"I had to get you out of the house so someone could deliver something I got for you." I said as I parked my car next to the large covered object before helping mom out of the car.

"What's this?"

"Do you remember when I was a little girl? You told me about having that red and black 1970 red and black Chevelle?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Well say hello to your old 1970 Chevelle." I said pulling the cover from the old muscle car. Mom's eyes went wide as I unveiled the car.

"How in the world did you find this?"

"It took some doing but the man who owned this beauty died and when I told his daughter about you having owned this very kind of car she gave it to me. She said that since you would cherish this vehicle more than she could that it would be the right thing to do." I explained. Mom ran her hand over the car's body before glancing inside. She seemed to be studying the car figuring out what she should say. The smile on her face brought me more joy than she can ever imagine.

"Have I made up for lost time?" I asked breaking the silence.

"You've done more than that baby girl. Thank you for making an old woman very happy."

"It's no problem mom. It's my job." I said as she hugged me. I looked down at my watch realizing the time.

"Well I should go in a start packing. I've got quite a long drove back to Washington."

"You have to go? Now?" She said the smile draining from her face.

"I've spent 2 weeks away. I have to go back to work." I said going into the house with her right behind me. We went upstairs to my bedroom where I grabbed my duffle and started folding my clothes.

"But are you ready?"

"Yes mom. I know you're worried but don't be. I'm going to be just fine." I said placing a hand on her shoulder.

"If you're sure then I support you. Here I'll help you pack." My eyes followed mom as she went into the bathroom. She came back a second later carrying my toiletries and packed them away before helping me fold my clean clothes from the laundry basket.

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I zipped up my duffle bag and made sure my bedroom was clean before heading downstairs to the kitchen. I watched as mom petting my boys saying goodbye to them. They whined knowing we had to leave.

"Don't worry boys. We'll come back and see mom or she can come up to our place and spend a few days." I said making myself known. Their tails wagged in unison accepting my statement. Mom got up from the table and followed me from the house and to my car. I put my bags in the trunk and shut the lid before mom's arms wrapped around me again.

"Be careful catching those bad guys." Mom whispered in my ear before letting me go.

"You know I will." Mom hugged me one more time before I let Tsunami and Jethro into the backseat and taking my place behind the week again. The engine roared to life and I backed away from the house. I waved goodbye to mom as I hit the blacktop.

I drove down the road but I wasn't headed out of town. There's someone I need to talk to first before I leave Bethel. I pulled into the parking lot of the cemetery and shut down the engine. I ordered my boys to stay as I walked away. I went through the rows of headstones before coming to the one I was here for.

Dakota Lee Myles
March 21, 1981-June 3, 2001
Loving Son, Father, and Fiance
You Will Be Forever Missed In Our Hearts And In Our Lives

I knelt down in front of the headstone and ran my hand over his name. Even though the sun is out and it's warm, the stone was cool to the touch. I sighed and stood to my feet.

"Hey Kota. I miss you so much and you coming into my dreams made me miss you even more. I finished our cabin yesterday. It's everything we've ever wanted. I just wish you and Jayla were here to see it. I thought about what you had told me in the dream. You're right. It's been 15 years since you left this earth and it's time for me to let go of the sadness and pain I've carried for so long. I know it will take some time to fully get over Jayla not being here but I'm glad she's with you. I thought about the both of you while I was building the cabin. All good memories though. We had so many together and that's what has helped me the most. I know wheb I head back to work the day after tomorrow that you and Jayla will be watching over me. Just make sure she isn't giving you a hard time up there. I love you sweetheart and I always will love you." I said talking to the stone as if Dakota could hear my spoken words. I placed my hand on the cool stone again and forced back the tears threatening to build up. I went back to the car and sat there staring at the route I took to the grave before leaving. My love for that man goes beyond my heart. It penetrates my soul and my for him will never die.