Innocence

I eyed Trevor and Aiden suspiciously, trying to wrap my head the both of them. They had dragged me out here in the middle of the woods how? What had they done exactly to earn my trust? Nothing. So then what? I was here in the middle of nowhere to have pancakes and bacon with two random strangers on snowmobiles. What was wrong with me?

How could I have suckered myself into coming here? I stared at Aiden and Trevor as they glared at each other. Both of them seemed deep into an unspoken conversation.

They were so weird, and yet…I found myself drawn to their mysterious behavior. They were different, that was sure, but in a dangerous, fun, mysterious, incredible way. Who couldn't be attracted to them?

For the first time, I saw Aiden smile genuinely at me. His eyes shone even brighter than normal, twinkling without any light shone on them. His teeth were as white as the snow outside. I was sure they reflected the sun just as well. But that wasn't what I was drawn to. It was past the eyes, the part you always read about in books. Its like you are looking deep into the person's soul and you can see everything you have ever wanted to know about them, but it is just out of reach.

Aiden was smiling at me as if I had said something funny, which I hadn't. Trevor didn't seem to like the little exchange between us, but I couldn't break away. I tried, really I did. But somehow, Aiden had locked my gaze in on him.

Aiden was the first to break. He jumped like someone had shouted in his ear. His stone mysterious face was back as he elbowed Trevor in the side.

It was usually a funny gesture between friends, but neither of them seemed very happy about it.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't get the words out. It was like I was interrupting some family feud and I was the tiebreaker. The pressure was building at the table. Sitting quietly in my booth, I watched in fascination as Trevor and Aiden did not nothing but glare at each other and at the table.

After a few minutes of silence, I began to hum quietly to myself. What else was there to do? I couldn't eat my food because it wasn't there, I couldn't leave because I had no idea where I was, and I couldn't talk to Aiden or Trevor because they were too into whatever they were doing.

Taking the wrapper from my straw, I began to fold it in half again and again until I couldn't anymore. I would then unfold it, smooth it out, the do the same thing over and over again, doing it to my own music in my head. My chunky cast made it hard to hold the paper neatly, but I tried my best to keep it smooth.

That's when I felt it. This intense feeling of paranoia was pushed upon me. It was almost like the feeling you get when the person behind you is staring at the back of your head, but their gaze is so intense you can just feel them looking through you.

My head snapped up on its own accord, staring straight into the eyes of two boys on the opposite side of the table. Trevor was trying to hide his smile, but Aiden didn't seem to want to have one on his face.

"We are being very rude, aren't we?" Trevor asked.

I shrugged, but didn't break the gaze. What was up with their eyes? Why were they so magnetic to me?

The door to the small restaurant opened, the snow trickling in with the person's boots. Ryan, I think this was, came and grabbed the stool from the bar. Bringing it up to the table he sat down on top of the green leather, staring at his brothers with a smile on his face.

It disappeared quickly, replaced with a scowl like all of his brothers had on.

I sighed. This was not something I wanted to be involved in.

"So…"Trevor began, bringing my attention to his face.

I looked up from my wrapper to his face. My eyes immediately went from Trevor's to Aiden's, his attracting my attention even more.

"What did you use to do in Georgia for fun?" If I had been paying attention, and actually thinking about what Trevor had just said, I would have figured out that I had never told Trevor anything about my life. I hadn't told him where I use to live, but he knew anyway. I was distracted though.

I couldn't look away from Aiden. His eyes were connecting to mine in such a way that startled me into silence. I could tell no one was breathing in the small space, and that made my lungs freeze. No one moved, and for what reason? What was so wrong, or scary, or amazing that no one could breath?

Aiden's face changed then. Maybe it was just a trick of the light, but I did see his eyebrows come together in confusion as if he was pondering over the same question. When I blinked and gazed back, he wasn't even looking at me anymore. His eyes were closed as if he was in pain.

"Are you okay?" I asked without thinking about who I was talking to. Aiden was the kind of guy you knew not to talk to. You saw it in his eyes. He had something deep down that made him lock himself away so no one could touch him. But the mystery behind the reason for that was yet to be uncovered.

Aiden's eyes shot open to stare inquiringly at me. For a moment, he did not reply, but when he did. The way he said my name jolted my heart, making the muscles beat harder and faster. "I'm fine, Candace."

His voice forming around the syllables of my name was different than anyone else. His lips moved with his tongue in such a way that made my name seem foreign. It was the most recognizable voice in the history of mankind. Was that why my arm was hurting right now? I hugged my casted arm to my chest, feeling the ache of the broken bones.

I had heard my name come out of those lips only a few times, and had never been able to see the person who had saved my life. I knew who it was now. Aiden had been there, just like Trevor had been, no matter what they said. I remember seeing Trevor that night at the hospital, and Aiden was the one who kept calling my name. It couldn't have been anyone else.

Trevor leaned across the table, trying to get my attention. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "You," I whispered. I looked down at my arm, then back up at the two sitting across from me. "I remember you."

Trevor looked to Aiden who kept his gaze on my face. I turned my body to face him, leaning closer. He matched my movements, moving backward to lean on the back of the booth.

I ignored that, still keeping my voice at a whisper. "You were there, weren't you?" I glanced Ryan who was sitting on the stool, but brought my gaze back to Aiden.

Turning to Trevor, I said the same thing. "You were there too, weren't you?" Why I hadn't ever confronted them before was beyond me. Maybe it was because my mind was swimming with twenty different emotions at the same time, and it could only portray one at a time. I was always confused around them.

Trevor cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I turned back to Aiden, trying to read his face. There was nothing there for me to read. Only a stone face, his lips turned down, his eyes a blaze with my accusations.

"I'm not that clueless," I said, my voice rising in frustration. "I know you two were the ones that helped me out of my car. I remember you," I turned to glare at Trevor. "Both of you."

I leaned back in the booth and crossed my arms over my chest. My arms felt awkward, only one of them able to bend. With no sound at all, Ryan put the stool back underneath the bar. The door behind me opened, then closed a second later.

I did not turn to see Ryan leave. I held my gaze with Aiden. His eyes did not change, didn't even move as he stared me down.

"Candace--could you tell us what you are talking about?" Trevor asked.

When I answered, I didn't look away from Aiden. "You saw my car roll over and you call 911. I know you did. I remember you. I saw you at the hospital."

Aiden jaw jumped as he considered my words.

Trevor said the opposite of what I would have expected. "Yes, you did see us there, and we did call 911. We got to you just in time."

Aiden was like a statue, not moving a muscle. I swiveled in the spot to look at Trevor, but kept Aiden in my peripheral vision. "And you had to pretend like it didn't happen?"

Trevor shrugged. "It wasn't that big of a deal."

"It was for me."

Trevor's lips dipped down in a frown. "Well I'm sorry for what you went through."

The waitress appeared carrying a plate of pancakes and two glasses of water. Sensing the tension at the table, she didn't utter a word before she left. I wanted to do exactly what the waitress was entitled to do. I wanted to get up and leave this place, leave Trevor and his rude annoying brother.

I crossed my arms even tighter over my chest, not even bothering to touch my food.

Trevor tried to get rid of the tension at the table, but it didn't really work. "We're glad you're all right."

You sure about that? I wanted to ask. Are you sure that each and everyone of you is happy that you have saved my life? Because I can see one person who doesn't seem too happy about it.

This day has taken a turn for the worst.

Aiden is still glaring at me like I have done something horrible and unforgiving to him. After a few seconds of this, I stand up, hitting my casted arm on the table in my haste.

Aiden stands up at the same time, his arms uncrossing from themselves. He storms out of the small building before I can even blink.

Looking back at Trevor who is also standing, I said, "I want to go home."

  

The door slams behind me as I storm into the open doorway. I kick off my boots, watch them fly into the wall, and throw my coat onto the ground. All of the commotion I am making alerts my parents. I hear my mom trying to come to me, but Nathan holding her back. He comes out of the living room, smiling wildly.

I roll my eyes at him and hold back the scream that is trying to break free from my lips.

Nathan asks the question I do not want to answer. "How was snowmobiling?"

The frustrating screams can't be held back any longer. It breaks free from my lips, only to have my feet stomping on the ground in its rhythm. My arms hurts from hitting it against the table at the restaurant, my fingers are numb from lack of blood supply, My arm itches underneath the thick plaster, and my head hurts from being around all of those rude brothers.

I scream again, slamming my bedroom door. Nathan calls my name from the bottom of the stairs, but I ignore him.

Going over to my bed, I wrench open the bedside table drawer, and take out the bottle of pain killers. A glass of ice water is sitting next to my bed, and I take a few gulps with a pain pill. I slam the glass down a little too hard, spilling water into the open door.

I swear under my breath, grabbing the few things I have in the drawer. When I grabbed the small velvet box that was shoved in the back, I drop every thing else. Snapping open the box, I take out the delicate ring, slipping it on my finger without giving it another thought. I stare at my hand as the ring sits on my finger as if it was made to be there.

My bedroom doors opens and closes so quietly I don't even hear him come in. "Candace?"

I jumped, the velvet box rolling off my lap and underneath the bed. Nathan stands near the door, two cups of hot chocolate in his hands. "Can we talk?"

I stayed quiet, trying to decide if I really want to or not.

He sits down next to me on the bed, handing me one of the steaming cups. I try and hold it, but it's too warm for my ice cold hands. I set it down next to the cup of ice water and the bottle pain pills.

Nathan sees the open bottle and frowns. "Are you in pain?"

I shrug. It isn't that bad at the moment, but it was before. Today was just not my day.

"We can call a doctor--"

I shrug again. "I'm fine."

I got up from the bed, no longer wanting to talk. I wanted to soak in the bath tub then call Mike so I could tell him all about my day and how horrible it was. I needed him right now, not Nathan.

Nathan followed me to my couch and sat down beside me. “Your mother is exploring the house. She says she knows we'll be very happy here."

I frown at this. Was my mother really that blind when it came to me?

“You have changed so much," Nathan whispers.

“What do you want?” I asked, annoyed by his presence.

“I just wanted to talk to you. We haven’t talked in so long. I missed--”

“What do you want Nathan?” I asked, interrupting him.

Nathan seemed hurt and confused by my statement. “When did you stop calling me dad?”

This is an easy answer. “Two years ago.” I said plainly.

“Listen, Candace.” he started then paused for a moment.

“I really don’t care what you have to say, Nathan.” I spat, and stood up to walk over to my bed again. Nathan gets up and follows me like there is nothing wrong with this.

“I know you are mad at me, but can I at least explain to you what I was feeling?’

“No. You can’t.” I said without looking at him. "I don't want to hear about your feelings. Frankly, I really don't give a damn."

Nathan stopped moving, looking into his cup of hot chocolate. For the longest time, he stood a few feet from me, not even speaking. When he finally spoke, his voice cracked with the strain of keeping his emotion inside. "You know, I have always loved. I haven't stopped loving you…or your mother. You have to understand that."

I closed my eyes, letting the tears fall down my face. "I do understand…that you loved us. But for now, I can't say that I believe you. What you did is unforgivable. You can't expect me to love you anymore."

I kept my eyes closed, so I only heard my bedroom open. When it slammed shut, I jumped in the air higher than I have ever jumped before. The force of Nathan slamming caused the door to close completely, then swing back open after it had latched into the place.

I ran to the bathroom and shut the door, leaning against the wood.

“I hate this place!” I yelled in the small space. My voice came back to me even louder as it echoed off the corners of the tiled walls. I went over to the counter, gripping the edge with as much strength as I could. This hurt my arm, but I didn't care.

I stared at myself in the wall mirror, my features bright red with the strain of crying. My hair had been curled today, the dark brown curls no longer volumized, but flat and dull. They had lost their strength. My eyes were starting to get puffy, already red on the edges of my eyes. Could this day get any worse?

Oh…but it could.