Innocence

The next three days were torture. I called Mike three times a day, either getting hung up on or getting his angry mother, ready to chew my head off. I tried to be polite when I called, and tried as hard as I could to tell Mike what I wanted him to know before he hung up on me. I never succeeded.

It was also torture because it was close to Christmas time, so we had to do all of the regular preparations for the holiday. I wasn’t in the spirit of Christmas right now, so when I was woken up early this morning to go and pick out a tree, I was in no way going to be enthusiastic about it.

I was bundled up so much I could hardly see anything, and colder than I have ever been before. The twenty degree weather that they were having today was not something I liked to think was possible. Who in the world would live in such a place as this?

Nathan and my mom were having a blast. They both were only in a coat and gloves, walking through the forest of trees at the tree nursery. I huddled into all of gloves, hats, scarves, and my two coats. The wind whipped my face; making me flinch away from the cold. Did I really need to come with for this?

“Maybe this one,” my mom was saying, “Look at how tall it is. I’m sure it would look lovely next to the fireplace in the living room.” I had to smile at her. My mom always had to be touching Nathan, just to make sure that he was real. It was making her so happy to be with him again. The thing that always got me down was that it was Nathan that made her happy.

Now that I had seen her for the past few days with him, I understood that I could never ask my mom to leave with me and move back home. She had so easily forgiven him because she hadn’t known about he other women. She thought he had just left because he was having a bad time with his job, and was just unhappy. I would never tell her the truth and ruin her life that way. I would be able to handle living here if it made her this happy.

“We need two trees Julie,” Nathan answered, stopping to admire the one my mom had pointed out. “One for the front room and the one for the family.”

Two Christmas trees? Who in the world needs two trees?

I shivered in voluntarily as the wind sped up. No one else seemed to notice.

“So this can be our family one.” Julie said. She looked around an started toward the other side of the nursery to look at the smaller ones.

Nathan caught her arm and pointed to the one that was almost towering all of the others. “That is the one we are getting.”

I gawked at the enormous twenty foot tall tree just a few yards away. It was official...Nathan was insane. How could we possibly get that through the front door, let alone get it on the car?

My mom clapped her hands together excitedly. “Oh really? Won’t that be too big for the house though?”

Nathan laughed. “Not a chance.”

I stood in silence for the five minutes it took to track down the owner of the nursery. Once Nathan grabbed a saw from the man and went to chop it down himself, I left them and went back to the car. Riding in the limo 100% of the time wasn’t something I liked doing. Driving was something I enjoyed, and missed. I didn’t want to have to depend on someone every time I needed to go somewhere.

I hadn’t gone anywhere besides here these past few days. I didn’t know where anything was in the city, and I didn’t know how to ask Charles to take me on a tour of the city so I could go without him when I had wanted to. Not like I had a car to do it with, but the option of walking was always out there.

I sat in the warmth of the car, watching the black screen of the television in front of me. My fingers flexed, trying to reach for the phone in front of me. I let myself go and snatched the phone off of the receiver. Without having to think about it, Mike’s number was already dialed and the phone was up to my ear. It didn’t ring, which was normal today.

The door to my left opened, chilly air wafting through the small opening. I slammed the phone down in frustration and anger. Nathan scooted in and sat next to me, Julie coming in after him. Both of their faces were bright red from the cold, but neither seemed to notice.

“I know this really great restaurant just up the road. Do you want to go and check it out?” Nathan asked my mom.

She nodded enthusiastically. “I’m starving.”

I couldn’t see how she was so starving. We ate like kings every single meal. The worst part of meal time was we always had to look presentable, and waiters actually served us. I didn’t get the concept of it. Sure, at restaurants that was fine. But in your own home? It was just unpractical.

“Candace?” Nathan asked. He always tried to engage me in their conversations; I just never responded. “Do you want to come out to eat with us?”

“No.” I said truthfully. I didn’t want to sit their and watch my mom and Nathan stare into each others eye like love sick puppies.

My mom cleared her throat in a warning.

“Whatever,” I sighed frustrated.

The restaurant was just as elegant as I thought it would have been. Red and green was everywhere. Some of the light bulbs were even red and green to show the spirit for the holiday. Each table had a candle burning in the center, and a tablecloth to match. It may not have been like Perkins, a restaurant I preferred, but the warmth was something I loved about it.

We sat at a table in the far corner where no one else was near by. The waitress seemed to know Nathan, and gave him a complimentary appetizer for free before we had even been there for to minutes. Nathan ordered for all of us without even asking what we had wanted. This got me irritated, and I took it out on my coat as I stripped off all of my outdoor wear.

I kicked my coat under the table, threw my gloves down next to it, and flung my hat in the same direction.

“Are you okay Candace?” Nathan asked, looking truly concerned.

“Fine.” I seethed, placing my head in my hands.

I would have much rather stood outside in the freezing cold than stay here with my parents. I just wanted to go home and spend Christmas with Mike.

I perked up, my back suddenly ridged. That wasn’t such a bad idea, was it? “Mom?” I asked as sweetly as I could.

The sudden change in my posture and tone made her wary. “What?”

“Do you think that I could go down to Maine for Christmas and spend it with Mike?” I asked. The words rushed out in a jumble of words, but she got the jest of it.

Her lips pursed together in a hard line. “No.”

“Why?” I whined.

“You will spend Christmas with this family like we always do.”

“I don’t want to spend Christmas with family.” I admitted.

Her lips pressed together even harder now. “I don’t care what you say young lady, you are staying home for Christmas.”

I threw my hands up in the air. “I’ll hate every minute of it.”

“At least you will hate every minute of it surrounded by family.”

The waiter came back with a smile of her wide lips. She felt the tension and it faded a little bit. The food smelt delicious, but I didn’t know what it was. “Can I get you anything else Mr. Heart?”

Nathan smiled then shook his head.

She smiled back, leaving us to enjoy our food.

Nathan and my mom dug into the food immediately. I was wary about the weird looking soup and pieces of meat on the side of it. I watched my mom dip the meat into the soup and take a bite. Nathan was doing the same, watching me out of the corner of his eye.

Following their lead, I dipped one of the pieces of meat into the thick looking soup and took a bite. At first, I really didn’t get anything out of the tastes. Then it was almost mouth watering; the flavors mixing together in a variety of spices and herbs. I closed my eyes so my dad couldn’t see how much I actually liked what he had picked out.

I stayed silent like I usually did during meal times. My mom and Nathan babbled on about nothing that I cared about. Nathan was more enthusiastic, gentler than I have ever seen him before. He had changed in the eyes of my mother. When she saw he was more handsome than he had been when he was twenty.

His looks didn’t fool me like they did her. It didn’t matter what he looked like to me. It didn’t matter how much money he has. It didn’t even matter that my mother loved him now more than ever. I wouldn’t him fool me like he wanted to.

I was the first to finish my meal like usual. Only this time I couldn’t escape to my bedroom. I waited for almost an hour as my mom and Nathan chatted away about the holidays. When my mom finally got to her feet, I was about ready to walk home.

“We should be getting home.” She said, her eyes looking downcast.

Nathan got up too, putting his jacket back on. “We’re leaving Charles.” Nathan yelled to Charles who was sitting a few tables down, sipping a cup of steaming coffee.

He nodded and went to go and start up the vehicle. I got my things and followed him out before anyone could protest. Charles was startled when I was at his side.

“Oh—Ah—hello.” He stumbled over his words like he was nervous.

He opened the door for me and shut it before the cold air could fill the cab. Not that it really mattered a whole lot. The inside of the limo was just as cold as the outside. The door opened a few minutes later, my mom and Nathan piling inside.

My mom shivered from the cold, rubbing her uncovered hands together. “It’s freezing out there!”

I stayed quiet on the ride home, trying to stop the shivering as it went up my spin. To my surprise, the large tree Nathan had picked out was already set up right inside the house. It looked even bigger inside without a sky for its limits. Boxes of ornaments and tinsel were stacked beside it, ready to be decorated.

It had been snowing all day, so we had to trudge throw two feet of it to get to the front door. The snow was cold against my pants, soaking through to my pants to freeze my legs. When I got inside, I went straight to the living room and to the fireplace, ripping off my wet and frozen clothes. My sweater and pants were cold as well, but they warmed up easily from the fire that was in front of me.

The living room was probably the warmest place in the house. I don’t mean temperature wise; I mean the feeling of it. This room had red shag carpet covering the floor, and wood paneling on the walls. Fluffy pillows on warm couches and rug filled the room. Heavy curtains hung on either side of the windows, ready to block out the afternoon sun.

I sighed from the warmth, closing my eyes. How anyone could live in these conditioned was just beyond me.

Nathan came into the room, holding my mother’s hand. They both laughed at me kneeled next to the fire.

“Was it too cold for you today?” Nathan asked.

“I think it’s nice outside.” My mom added.

“It’s cold.” I said flatly. They were both crazy.

Nathan sat down on the couch, pulling my mom onto his lap.

“Yep, that’s my cue to leave.” I mumbled, getting up from the floor.

I went back out towards the front door and started to take off my boats. A sudden motor sound halted my actions. I listened toward the door, and started to hear yelling. No, not yelling, laughing.

The motor sound got louder, coming closer. Hesitantly, I pulled the door back, letting the snow drift through the open door way. I ignore the cold and went outside, going down the first few steps to look around.

The sound intensified like a freight train as one, two, three, and then a fourth snowmobile came from my left. They jumped over the wall that was now hidden by snow, and drove straight for me. I tried to scramble backwards, but lost my footing, and fell into the snow. The motors quieted and then died, but I couldn’t see them. I was completely covered in snow.

A hand reached through the snow, grabbed my arm, and pulled me free. I was shocked to see a teenager, maybe a little older than me, smiling at me. His eyes were a light brown, almost mesmerizing. His skin was pale white, but it didn’t distort any of his flawless features.

His hair was a reddish-brown, almost shaggy, but still clean-cut. He wasn’t mucg clothes for the weather, only kaki jeans and a sweater.

“Are you okay?” he asked me, his voice soft and soothing. He was smiling at me, his bright white teeth glistening in the afternoon sun. He let go of my arm, sure that I was steady now.

I noticed my body was shivering from the snow that was starting to melt through my clothes. “I’m …fine.” I managed, trying to keep my teeth from chattering.

Nathan came up behind me. “What are you doing out here, Can…” his voice trailed off when he saw the boys in front of me. I looked away from the one next to me to look behind him. Three other, wearing nothing more that the other one, were all staring at me. One had black spiky hair, the other two had blonde, one longer than the other. All four had very pale skin, but I could see anything else. They were almost at the end of the drive.

“Well what a surprise.” Nathan said, stepping to stand next to me.

“Mr. Heart.” The boy closest to me said, nodding his head.

“What do I owe this visit Trevor?”

Trevor. I thought. That had to be him. The name suited him well.

Trevor smiled again. “She had slipped in the snow and fell through. I was just helping her out.” He looked down at me, still smiling. “You may want to be careful next time…”

“Candace.” Nathan said before I could even think about saying it for myself.

“This is my daughter, Candace.”

Trevor’s smile didn’t leave his face as he started to turn back towards his snowmobile parked at the bottom of the snow filled stairs.

“Nice to meet you Candace.” He said before turning his back to me. He hoped onto the snowmobile, and with one quick motion, he was speeding down towards his brothers and had turned the corner.

I stood frozen for a moment, watching after them.

Nathan’s hand grabbed my arm and dragged me inside out of the cold. “Nice boys.” He was mumbled.

I looked up at him, shutting the door behind us. “Who were they?”

Nathan pointed to my dripping boots so I took them off as he spoke. “They are the sons of Amy Westcott, a major attorney in this city. They live just next door. They mean seem a little rambunctious, but they’re good kids.”

My body was shivering so violently from the cold he couldn’t see me nod.

Nathan laughed. “Maybe you should go take a warm bath and read a good book.”

I sighed. “I don’t have any books.”

He looked confused for a moment then smiled. “Why don’t you go check out the room to the right of your bedroom? Then you can tell you don’t have any books.” He left me shivering in the doorway to go and join my mother by the warm fire.

I struggled up the stairs as my body began to convulse with shivers, the wet snow soaking my clothes and dragging me into a slower motion. I went to the right door, but stopped when my hand touched the doorknob. What could I expect from Nathan? Would I actually like what was behind this door, or want to run screaming? Weren’t those my only two options?

Feeling the shivers worsen, I let go of the doorknob and rushed to the bathroom. Gloria was already in there, my bath water steaming from the Jacuzzi tub. I stripped my wet sweater off with the help of Gloria and struggled out of pants. With a sigh, I dipped into the warm water.

The hot water against my freezing skin felt like a million pins poking me at once, but that sensation died away quickly to be replaced by another one. Relaxation. I was actually relax for the first time since I had come here. Gloria left then, satisfied that she had done her job well. I was satisfied too, glad to have to whole room to myself. Now I could think about those boys that had just introduced themselves into my life.