A Little Bit Older

I had always wanted a family. Husband, kids, maybe a dog, with a fenced in back yard with a clothes line and tire swing overlooking a tiny pond. I had always had an image in my head of hanging the clothes out to dry while watching my husband play with our kids. That had been my ideal of the perfect life when I was a kid. I had never realized all the little moments that felt even more like ideals.

When I finished college, and broke off my engagement, I contented myself instead to a new image of a perfect life. I decide to become the embodiment of the strong, independent woman. Did I think kids and a husband would’ve been great? Of course, but I also knew that I didn’t need those things to be happy and I could find happiness on my own. It wasn’t that I was suddenly a million times would content with my life, but I was satisfied in a different way.

Since I’d started fake dating Matt, it felt like I had a little bit of that family dream. There was something so sweet about lying in bed with him and the boys – who insisted that I lay with them too and not stay in the guest room. I was getting to the point where I would purposely keep myself awake so that I could lie in bed and just take the time to appreciate how great it was to be surrounded by the three Sanders boys. Honestly, it was probably moments like this that had caused me to fall for Matt as hard as I had.

Shortly after we’d arrived home, Matt and I had changed and decided to chill in the living room a little bit and watch a movie. Before we’d even started thinking about heading bed, a sleepy Cash could be heard over the baby monitor asking if he could sleep with us that night. The Halloween movies had scared him and he wanted his daddy. When Matt went to retrieve him, River had decided he wanted to come too and somehow we ended up with the two boys talking me into sleeping with them too. It wasn’t super surprising though because most of the time that I was here when they were too, this is how the night ended up.

“Ruby?” I heard a little voice whisper and I watched Cash sit up slowly.

“What’s up, bud?” I asked.

“I don’t feel good.” He explained and I tried to gently move myself away from River who curled up tight to my side.

“Come here.” I whispered reaching out and lifting him out of the bed. “What kind of not good are we talking here?” I questioned carrying him into Matt’s ensuite and shutting the door behind us before switching on the light.

“Tummy sick.” He responded sounding extremely queasy. This was probably related to Halloween candy overload. He’d been trying to eat to keep up with his brother who had been inhaling KitKat bars all day like his life depended on it.

I pulled the tiny stool out from next to the sink and set it in front of the toilet.

“Alright, sit down here. If you feel like you’re going to puke, puke in the toilet. Can you do that for me?” I asked and he nodded sitting down like I told him too. “Thank you.”

I searched through Matt’s medicine cabinet and tried to find a thermometer to take his temperature. I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with a sick child, but that seemed logical.

Before I could find the thermometer, I heard the telltale signs of retching and quickly gave up my search.

“Let it out.” I whispered soothingly sitting down on the floor next to him and rubbing his back. He continued to vomit and I pushed his hair out of his face. When he was finished, I wiped his mouth and helped him rinse with some water from the sink before flushing the toilet. I picked him up and rocked him gently in my arms for a few minutes waiting for his breathing to settle back out and indicate that he was asleep.

Once he fell asleep, I switched the light off and carried him back to the bed. River had moved and claimed Cash’s spot next to Matt so I laid Cash down next to me instead. It’d be easier this way in case he started to feel bad again. Matt was such a heavy sleeper that I doubt he’d hear if Cash tried to get his attention.

“Everything okay?” I heard Matt whisper from the other side of the bed. He was definitely half-asleep, but it felt nice to know he’d realized that the two of us had left. It was unexpected from him, but then again he probably heard the toilet or sink which weren’t exactly the quietest.

“Just a tummy ache. Everything’s better now.” I replied reaching out and brushing my hand against his head to let him know that I was back in bed now.

“Thank you.” He whispered and I could tell from his tone of voice that he was basically asleep again. He probably wouldn’t even remember the interaction the next morning.

I quickly fell asleep this time after I got comfortable and it was probably the most peaceful sleep I’d had in a long time.

I was awoken the next morning to the sound of giggling boys. When I opened my eyes, I found Cash and River hiding behind the bedframe staring at the door.

“Can I help you two?” I asked with a small yawn while rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

“You’re awake!” Cash started loudly before River clasped his hand over his brother’s mouth and made a shush face at him.

“What’s going on here?” I inquired and they shook their heads quickly. “Am I allowed to get out of bed?” Again, quick head shakes. My two fierce guards standing watch to make sure I didn’t leave my prison bed, I thought to myself and had to resist the urge to smile at my own bad jokes.

“We’re hiding. He won’t come in here because he thinks you’re asleep.” River explained in a poorly hushed whisper darting his eyes quickly at the door ever few words.

“Oh, well what about if I go out and tell him you’re not in here?” I asked knowing that if I had to wait in bed until Matt decided to check for them in here, I would probably be in bed until noon.

“He won’t believe you.” River responded.

“You need to stay.” Cash added pointedly in a ‘whisper’ much worse than that of his older brother.

“Please?” They both shook their heads and I kicked off the blankets anyway and sat up in bed. “How about I sneak out and grab some snacks for all three of us then?” I asked trying to find some way to negotiate.

“Honey buns?” Cash asked, his face brightening at the prospect of his favorite sugary snack.

“And poptarts.” I whispered hoping that I could get River to agree my name dropping his favorite snack too.

The two boys pressed their heads together and whispered amongst each other before finally River withdrew from the small huddle and nodded at me to go. I nodded back and began to leave the room. They motioned for me to be quiet with their hands and I nodded and put on a serious face to let them know I understood the business they meant.

After pretending to sneak out of the room, I gently closed the door behind me and then walked normally into the kitchen. I grabbed three honey buns, a pack of poptarts, and two bananas for the three of us to share.

“Good morning. Have you seen the boys?” Matt asked casually before walking to the sink and opening the under cabinet to check for the boys

“Morning to you too.” I responded taking my food supply in my arms and watching him with a bemused grin. “I have, but I’m sworn to secrecy. Swing by the room in like 20 minutes to see if I’m awake and I’m sure you’ll find them.” I told him before swiftly walking out of the kitchen and back to the master bedroom.

I flipped on a standing lamp and started my “picnic” with the boys on the bedroom floor. We ate in silence with occasional bouts of giggles by the boys who found the whole situation to be entirely too funny. I wasn’t sure if this was entirely how motherhood worked. I figured I’d have to talk to Valerie soon to figure out what kind of line between friend and authority she’d want me to have in their life. They were her kids first and I knew she was normally the firmer parent when it came to discipline.

Once we finished, a soft knock on the door told me that Matt was there. “Hey Ruby, are you awake?” He asked and I was so grateful for his superior acting skills. He walked in slowly while asking, “I’m playing hide and seek with the boys and I can’t for the life of me – oh, here you are all! Are you having a party without me?” The boys’ eyes widen as they realized they’d lost the game but then they erupted in laughter.

“Yes!” Cash yelled loudly amused at the idea that they his dad had called our “picnic” a party. It didn’t take much to make that boy smile – which was probably a good thing because he had his father’s smile and was adorable when he smiled.

“Can I join?” Matt asked sitting down next to me and getting comfortable before they could answer.

“There’s no more food so no.” River said simply before shrugging.

“Oh, so the party’s over?” He asked.

The two boys looked at each other and tried to figure out if it was. Clearly, they had been having fun but technically the party was over now that they’d been caught.

“How about we relocate our party to the rec room?” I suggested and everyone quickly agreed with the boys racing out of the room. The rec room was basically a giant toy box for them but they were only able to play in there with supervision nearby because it was on the far end of the house and we couldn’t hear them there. Luckily, Matt had put a couch in the room so he and I could relax for a little bit while we watched the kids play.

As I got up to follow behind them, Matt caught my wrist and pulled me into his lap. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“Everything. Last night for Cash and the puke. This morning for playing along with them. For just knowing how to handle my kids and loving them even though they’re not yours. You treat them the same way you treat Theo and it just makes me really happy.” He explained and I smiled with a small laugh.

“It’s what I signed up for it, isn’t it? Come on, let’s go watch the tyrants before they break each other.” I said standing up and offering him a hand off the ground. The boys had probably already gotten all their toys out and it would be a bad idea to leave them unsupervised for more than 5 minutes.

“That is a very good idea.” He agreed and the two of us followed the footsteps of his sons