A Little Bit Older

lord help the mister

Sisters are special creatures. No matter what stupid shit that you accidentally do to hurt them or push them away, they always love you. Growing up, Meghan, Teddy, and I had always been close. I was the oldest and as a result, I was constantly hovering over them making sure nothing bad happened. When we played school for make-believe, I was always the teacher. The three of us had a weird dynamic, so everyone told me, because we never really fought. Our parents always said how lucky they were because we basically just looked out for each other. Being the older sister, especially after Teddy died, I went out of my way to keep Meghan safe – from the world and herself. I never stopped to worry about me and since she was younger, I never expected her to either.

Which is why I wasn’t sure what to do now. How do you react when the roles suddenly become flipped? It had always been me holding Meghan as she cried over flaking boyfriends and bad break-ups. I had no idea how to respond to the idea of her watching out for me as I broke down over a bad break-up because I’d never let her in like that before.

“Why is Auntie Ruby sad?” Theo whispered to Zack after we all finished our pizza dinner that Meghan had ordered for us. In the half-hour prior to the delivery arrival, Meghan and I had sat in the living room as I basically sobbed into her arms. Zack had tried to occupy Theo with a game of hide-and-seek, but he was more interested in watching me cry.

“Because she’s having grown-up problems.” Zack said not being 100% aware of the entire situation although I knew Meghan had explained the small details of Matt and I no longer being an item.

“Auntie Ruby, are you okay?” Theo asked me and I gave him a weak smile feeling ridiculous. It was bad enough that my younger sister had to comfort me this much but to explain to a two-year-old why I was sad was even worse.

“I’m okay. Uncle Matt and I just had a tiny argument.”

“He made you cry?” Theo asked incredulously and I started to think I might not have picked my words the best way possible.

“No, he didn’t mean.” I said gently trying to figure out what were the best words to use.

“I made Cash cry one day. I didn’t mean to but I still had to apologize. Uncle Matt should apologize.” Theo reasoned with me and Meghan nodded along with him.

“Exactly and I’m going to talk to him to make sure he does.” She said adamantly and I silently cursed her.

“But either way,” I started walking over to the other side of the table and picking up my nephew,

“I’ll be okay after desert, right?” I asked him and carried him over to my freezer to pick out ice-cream.

“Right. You’ll feel better after that one!” He exclaimed pointing to the carton of chocolate ice-cream in the freezer and I pulled it out and set it on the counter.

“You are very right, young man.” I said placing him on the counter while I grabbed four bowls.

“You two want some, right?” I asked as an afterthought even though I knew Meghan would never turn down ice-cream. Zacky agreed as well seeing as how we were all eating it.

“Want me to go set-up a movie?” Meghan asked knowing our sisterly tradition of ice-cream and a movie after each of her terrible break-ups back in the day.

“Please.” I said with a smile tossed over my shoulder to her.

“I wanna pick!” Theo yelled and Meghan laughed before grabbing him off my counter and carrying him into the living room with her.

“How are you feeling?” Zack asked leaning against my fridge door and I shrugged lightly.

“Rough. I’ll get over it. I’ve had worse break-ups.” I said simply, not sure how much of the situation that Meghan had explained to him.

“He’s not like Ryan, you know? Meghan told me about all that. He’s just confused. He doesn’t actually want you out of life entirely.” He said referencing my ex-fiancé. I wasn’t surprised that he knew about that because Meghan was still incredibly bitter towards Ryan even though so many years had passed. She could rant about him for hours and how he’d done me wrong.

“Thanks Zack, I know. It’s just like, do I want to be with someone so willing to try and push me out of their life entirely?”

“Matt just needs space when he needs space.” Zack shrugged and I passed him two of the bowls of ice-cream before putting away the carton.

“I get that. I’m the same way. But at the same time, sometimes things needed to be talked about. It’s hard, yea. But pushing me away doesn’t fix the problem.” I said knowing that he was just standing up for his friend, but feeling bothered anyway. At least Meghan hadn’t tried to defend Matt and let me stew in my sentiments of his jerkiness for a while.

“He’ll come around. After Thanksgiving, I bet he’ll be ready to talk about it.”

“Maybe by then, I won’t want to anymore.” I said shortly grabbing four spoons and placing them in all the bowls.

“You’ll be over him so quick?” He said jokingly picking up on my negative attitude and trying to lighten it slightly.

“Maybe. I could try. Or maybe I’ll just be giving him a taste of his own medicine.” I shrugged leading the way into the kitchen.

“Would you really be that petty?” He said with a laugh already knowing the answer. Of course, I wouldn’t. I couldn’t be like that even if I tried, I was a huge push-over.

“Let a girl pretend, asshole.” I whispered before sitting down next to Theo on the floor and passing him a bowl. Zack sat down next to Meghan and gave her hers.

Meghan shot me a look and I knew she’d heard my curse, but Theo was so absorbed in the opening credits that he hadn’t noticed so I didn’t care much. I was suffering so she’d have to let it slide this time.

The movie passed quickly and it really did make me feel better. More than just the movie was spending time with my family. It was moments like this that I really had taken for granted before I’d moved to France and I was happy to have them back again – even if the family had changed and grown a bit. It was nice to be surrounded by people who loved me especially after the hellish day I’d had.

I was looking forward to go home for Thanksgiving too. I was hoping my mom would have some advice on what I could do about the Matt situation. I wasn’t sure how I was going to explain the Matt situation to her… in fact, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to explain the Matt situation to her. Maybe I would just pretend I needed general dating advice? That’d be easier than giving her a negative opinion of Meghan’s friends.
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Title Credit: Bette Midler - Sisters
Thank yous are due to Dory, Panic!britty, and yaribarr for the recommendations and to Awkwardly Obscured, HighlyKylee, and AllTimePensFan for the comments!
So I'm two days late because I was out of town all weekend and I forgot to warn y'all about that. I'll try and post again tomorrow to make up for it (if I don't forget).