Prescription for Miss Walker

I rang Alison as I left the hospital. I didn't know why, I probably didn't want to either, but I did.

Maybe I just wanted to see my nephew again. He was a part of my world now and, although he was too young to absorb or comprehend anything logical, I wanted to be part of his too.

If I died, sure, he'd probably grow up without an aunt, but it wasn't the same loss as a parent. If he was my child, I wouldn't hesitate in undergoing chemo and radiotherapy.

But the matter of fact was... He wasn't.

I had no obligation to him, none at all. I just wanted to see his darling face once more.

Alison stopped by my place, Theo sleeping soundly in his pram. It wasn't often I invited people to my apartment, and from the way my brother's girlfriend was gawking at the place I knew why.

It was a pretty basic place, not much 'character' to it, they'd say. It's not like I would question the judgement either.

I fixed us both a cup of coffee as we sat down and exchanged gossip. Apparently, she wasn't too fussed about my brother taking off to Atlanta. She even laughed.

"He's actually been great when it comes to Theo. He'll take midnight feeding duty so I can catch up on my sleep. He talks about him at work constantly. Honestly, Shira," She paused to take a dramatic sip, then clapped her hand to the arm that wasn't holding a scolding mochacinno. "He adores his kid. I've never seen him so upbeat and proud before."

Being a parent changes you, I'd been told. No longer was my brother staying out late and arriving home in the early hours of the morning, or sitting on his ass to avoid manual labor. He was taking control of his life and it was working out well for him in the process.

I smiled, wishing I knew what that was like. I didn't have any sort of grasp on mine to begin with. Now, it was spiraling, putting another hurdle in front of me after one had just been knocked down.

"Speaking of parents," I drawled, catching her eye. "Do you know how Dad's phone call to my mother went?"

"I wish I did but..." Unable to finish it off, she shrugged.

So, I just nodded.

My relationship with my mother had been somewhat strained since she'd stolen my college fund and ran off to Florida. I didn't know if she went alone or if she'd met someone else. I just remembered a time when my Dad was screaming and crying over the phone to her while I pretended to sleep. He'd told her she was selfish and disgusting and he'd send divorce papers to her by the end of the week.

If my mother was such a horrible person for robbing me of a decent education, then was I worse than her for opening my legs to a married man?

For not asking about Madison's day-to-day life during the period I'd been gone? For getting jealous over a potential lover she may have?

For driving Ben into the whirlwind of chaos that was ultimately our undoing?

I wasn't my mother.

No, she was better.

"I forgive her."

Alison had been talking (I think), but she was quiet for a moment so she could stare at me. I set my cup down and rested my elbows on my knees, unable to look at whatever expression she held for me now.

"My mother? For all the shit she's done to me... I forgive her."

There was silence, except for the crackle of the leather under Alison as she moved.

"It's been years. I don't know what she's up to or what she even looks like. But I can absolve her for what she did -- can't I? I think I can." I muttered the last two parts. I didn't know why I was saying this to Alison of all people, but she seemed to be the only one who could stand to be around my ass these days.

Theo started crying a little bit and she got up to cradle him. I heard her softly trying to shush him back to sleep.

"Why are you saying that? Ciaran told me all about your mother so I'm confused why you think she should be awarded such a merit from you."

She was being nice. Although she and I weren't on the best of terms, I couldn't deny that Alison had a pure heart. She may be loud and annoying, but she was genuinely a nice person who saw good in everyone -- even me, it appeared.

"There are worse people out there, Alison. I can't hate her all my life when there are others who have done far more inexplicable things."

Like me, I thought.

I pushed that down and met her eyes. She was rocking Theo back and forth, her glorious blonde locks matching his own.

"Well, you're her daughter and what she did was cruel and pitiful. A woman who steals from her child is not a mother, just an idiot."

"I can't hold grudges until I die. Do you know how pathetic that sounds?"

She didn't say anything, just swayed her baby from side to side until, eventually, his breathing got heavy. She put him back in the pram and plodded herself back down on the seat next to me, a fire in her eyes I'd never seen before.

"You're right, it does sound pathetic, but it's not. Unless she proves her worth, do not forgive her. She's been absent for years, what's a few more?"

Finally the tears began to sting, but I pretended to rub my eyes to help them subside.

"I know we're not close, and we probably won't ever be friends, but I want you to know I only ever thought of you as family. I'm going to look out for you, because that's what families do."

Her words were what did it. I buckled from under all the pressure and cried. She took me in her arms and held me close, tucking my hair behind my ears and playing with the strands.

"I'm dying... I don't want to die." I whispered in between sobs.

"The answer is simple then, isn't it?" When I looked up at her, she smiled, giving my ear a tweak.

"Be brave, Shira. Live."