Prescription for Miss Walker

Ash left after eight that night, yet I couldn't stand to be alone for another few hours. I'd only managed a few minutes before I was calling August on the phone. We'd agreed to grabbing a quick burger or something in town while we caught up. I knew it had probably only been a week, but it felt like forever since I'd seen him last.

I wore my hair up in a messy bun and slung on some more baggy clothing. With a quick glance to the takeout tubs still lying on my floor, a giggle snuck its way past my lips as I left the complex.

It was a calm night, barely a breeze in the air. I walked fast, knowing August didn't take too kindly to tardiness. I know he owned a toy factory and everything, but I never had him down as punctual for some reason.

I met him by our agreed rendezvous point, wrapping my arms around his waist speedily, we then continued to head straight on.

We got the casual talk out of the way before we decided upon where to eat. In the end, I'd become exhausted and we entered the nearest dine-in, which happened to be a Nando's. We gave our order and then relaxed, taking the seats opposite the other.

I examined him, waist up. He'd donned an expensive-looking blue and pink threaded shirt, with gold cufflinks and no hint of creases (hell knows how that works). He must have not shaved in a bit either, as a dark scruff had begun to form along his jaw.

Were business men allowed to look like that? I couldn't remember.

"So, beautiful lady, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Holding back my amusement at his pet name for me, I leaned back in my chair. The restaurant wasn't too busy, which was good. It meant I didn't have to fight voices for authority.

So I shrugged. "I just didn't want to be alone."

Giving me a small smile to show he appreciated my honesty, he then launched into a whole story about his factory... something to do with one of the lines shutting down completely and it jeopardizing the operation... I'm not completely sure. On one hand, I was listening, as I tuned in now and then, so not to be rude. On the other, I was beginning to mull over my time with Ash today.

I'd practically spilled my whole life story to him, I bet it had scared him off. I didn't mean to be so forward about it. We were having a nice moment, talking about the past, I'd just figured it was about time I face mine.

But what if I shouldn't have? What if I wasn't supposed to tell him?

If Ben is now one hundred percent behind me, then that meant I'd begun a whole new story with Ash. Chapter one began the day he kissed me (out of his own will), now I was afraid of how it was going to end.

Because, like it or not, all stories have an ending. It was just a question of whether or not mine was going to be happy... at least until I died. Or, if I was doomed and destined for another repeat.

And I hated repeats.

"Tell me about this guy you've been seeing." August blurted out with a glimmer in his eye. I sat there, wide-eyed. "Shira, I've been around you long enough now to know when your interest is drawn elsewhere. Please, do disclose."

I kicked him from under the table, awarded with a chesty laugh.

He was so cheeky.

"He's different, okay? He's smart, a little arrogant -- though he has right to be -- and maybe just a little insane." I added in afterthought. I mean, he was having sex with me, after all.

"And you've been keeping him a secret, how come?"

That's where it got tricky. What was I to tell him? I couldn't lie to him, I tried to avoid doing that to anyone. Stretching the truth was as close to it as I'd permit, but even then it had to be under special circumstances. Did this count as one of those?

Be brave, I told myself. I was, after all, only as bad as I made myself out to be.

"He's married."

August's eyebrows shot up high, as he jerked his head back a little. Clearly, it was a lot to digest.

"A married man. Are you being serious?"

"Unfortunately, yes. It's why I've been keeping it on the down-low, actually." Giving him a pointed look, he barely even registered it as we locked eyes.

"Shira, you're playing with fire."

I internally rolled my eyes. I knew this. I knew what everyone was going to say. I was being a slut, a horrible person. How could anyone ever dare pursue a relationship, of any kind, with a promised man?

There was a name for people like me: broken.

We were the kind that looked for something stable, we'd build up a strong fabrication of friendship and respect, spilled our secrets and gained access to all areas of their lives. We closed our eyes as we wished -- and we wished hard -- that we'd find our glue.

Because mirrors can always be restored if they find their glue.

I asked myself, had I found mine?

"I get it. Yeah, you're right, I am. I'm being stupid, we both are. But, what if two people like us were always meant to find each other? What if two people have made the wrong decisions in life and can't cut the piece of string that holds them back? We just want to snap free and tie ourselves to something else, it might not be the perfect thing, but at least we aren't bound just because we're expected to be. Like, black and white go well together, that's undisputed, but doesn't grey as well? Grey works even better."

Wow. Where was I getting all of these philosophical views from? I hadn't ever been before, and Ash wasn't himself. I didn't know what was getting into me.

Just as he was about to respond, the waiter came by with our food. I hadn't ordered much, due to the Chinese binge I'd had with Ash earlier. I'd stabbed at a forkful of salad when August finally got a word in.

"I just... I don't want you to get hurt, Shira. I can't think like that."

Then don't.

I captured his arm under my hand, brushing my thumb across the crease of his elbow as I gave him a small squeeze. It wasn't much, but it was all I had right now.