Prescription for Miss Walker

There weren't many options left, I thought, as I stared at the sheet in front of me. Who could the hospital contact in case of emergency? Who would be next of kin?

I mean, nobody liked me enough to come speeding over here if my life was in peril. I used to have that, but Madison and I... we weren't the same as we used to be, probably never would be again.

Besides my family, who did that leave me with? The options were none, if not extremely limited.

I pushed the papers aside for just now, knowing thinking about it would only trigger a migraine.
I hated lying back in bed all day, I'd never been more unproductive. Sure, I didn't have a job, but daily life felt like it had more trials to it than this hospital bed.

I was useless here, more so than usual.

Grunting, I flung the covers off me and ripped all wires.

Stupid little me did not count on my heart monitor crashing. The endless dial rung my ears to almost deafness.

My door bust open, revealing two dark skinned nurses and a very panicked, very pale, Ash.

The nurses rolled their eyes as he quickly recovered, reassuring them he had everything under control.

He came close, more so than I'd let him since... well, that night he decided what was best.

His eyes were darker than normal. What were usually two marching orbs of silver were now a swirl of angry clouds, ready to unleash the rain.

"Shira, what are you doing? Get back in bed."

I shook my head. "I can't just lie and wait all day. Especially not here."

I began scouting the room for suitcases or duffel bags, finally finding a tattered backpack under my bed. Surely I'd find the clothes I was wearing when I was admitted?

I found them true enough, but my thumbs brushed over a stain on my shirt. It was blotchy and dark, the smell suddenly putrid even though I'd been handling it for a few seconds before I'd noticed.

A trail of blood had marked the fabric, a burst of color that would never fade.

I cleared my throat, facing the bag so he couldn't see the wetness that begun to shroud my eyes.

"I need to be discharged, I really don't want to stay here."

Ash's footsteps warned me he didn't care about my rule of proximity between us. His hand clasped around my wrist, an eagerness in him I had triggered somehow.

"Shira, you can't leave us. Your health is rapidly declining, if you go home and something happens--"

"What? I don't have my knight in shining armor to save me!?"

I faced him, taking note of his beautiful face. He hadn't changed, not one bit. I thought that maybe he'd get a haircut, or he'd develop some wrinkles, but no. He was as perfect as he'd ever been. A god among us. He'd taken our form, but not our masks.

His expression carried a truckload of emotions, ranging from rage, to understanding, to the eventual sorrow I wanted him to feel.

Now, we were the same.

"I don't need saving. I made this decision and I have to see it through." I untied the gown from my neck, relaxing slightly when it pooled around my feet. Ash's gaze didn't waver, but I could tell it was a struggle at the same time.

I flung on my unwashed clothes and stuffed the bag with what little had been brought by my family. A couple of crossword puzzle books and a 'Get well soon' card.

"If you would stop being such a brat and let people help you--"

"Help me? Is that what you think you're doing?" My voice was thick with venom as he and I stared each other down. "First you break up with me, then you bring my ex here when I specifically asked you to ignore my contacts, and now you're trying to get me to stay in a place where you spend eighty percent of your time? Where in any of that have you helped?"

He rose a hand to his face and rubbed his jaw, looking for a way to calm down. Obviously, it hasn't been working.

"You have to pick apart everything, don't you? I've been going out of my mind all day wondering if you're going to be alright. We looked inside your body and find that you have even less time than originally thought, meanwhile all I could think about was how much I wished it was somebody else on that table."

I swallowed down my next words. I didn't want to say them, for fear that I might do something I'd regret.

He pointed an unsteady finger at me.

"You have no idea how much I wish I could help you, but I know that I can't. I know that I can't pray to God that he'll take this away from you. I know that it will never ever disappear! Not until you do too."

And one day, that will happen. I'll be gone, for good.

The tears were spilling, but I didn't wipe them away. Because if I dared move, then I knew I wouldn't go for my tears. Instead, my hand would be cradling his face, tracing those lovely bones... and I'd have no way of stopping it.

Not because I lacked the strength in doing so, but because I wanted to. I wanted to touch him, all the time. I fought not to, because I knew deep down, I wasn't enough for him.

I shook my head again, sniffing the tears away as much as possible. I had to leave this place in one piece.

"I guess I better get a head start on that then." I murmured lowly, hauling the bag over my shoulder. I couldn't look at him.

I tried trudging past him, but his arms caught me in what could only be described as an iron lock. If I dared move, I'd risk more bruising. I doubted he'd like that.

"Ash, will you--"

His lips enveloped mine in a frenzy. Hot, adrenaline-filled and panicking, he moved them against mine. I'd missed the taste of these lips, the way he smelled up close. I didn't know what heaven was, but I'm pretty sure this wasn't far off it.

However, in my current state, my blood just boiled.

My arms swept up of its own accord, back-pedaling him a couple of steps. He touched his palm to his stinging cheek, stunned.

"Don't kiss me unless you mean it." Grabbing the papers from the desk, I stormed out of there before he could collect himself.