Prescription for Miss Walker

My life was full of drama, it seemed. As if it wasn't enough that Ash was blowing up my phone, but by the time I'd arrived back at the apartment complex... the door was open, to my studio.

I looked around the building, there was no one else around. Perhaps I could get Dave. I mean, sure he wasn't the beefiest guy in the world, but I had descended down to weakling rank, so no matter what he had, it would be better than going in alone.

I began to tip-toe past my door when I heard a familiar voice. Smooth, it caressed your senses. Usually.

A puff of fiery vengeance escaped my chest as I swiveled back around and headed for my door. I stormed in, fists at the ready, prepared to strike if I had to. I faced the refrigerator, as I could predict all too well that's where he'd be.

Sure enough, I was correct.

"Get the fuck off of my property!"

Ben's head popped out from behind the fridge door, a teasing smile on his face. He closed it then, carrying with him to the island ingredients for a sandwich.

It was only then I noticed the state of my kitchen. He'd thrown things into the trash, such as my frozen pastas and fries, so much goodness gone to waste that it was over-encumbering the can. There were spills of vegetables all over the countertops, some in date, others not. Crumbs from an earlier snack occupied the island, so much earlier that I could see they'd begun to harden.

"Hey there Spitfire! I was cleaning out your fridge – smells like my granny's nappies in there. Want a sub?"

Charging, I grabbed the food out of his hands and threw them on the floor. Some tomato juice splashed on my bare legs, I remained unfazed.

He looked to the ground with a sigh.

"Well, there goes my tea." Raising his head back to level with mine, he arched a bushy eyebrow. "If you're on your period, how can I feed you if you continue to be so mean?"

"Is my life a joke to you? Do you see me laughing?" My voice was more accusing than it had ever been, even with him. "I just got out of hospital and all you can think of..."

I stopped as I took in what he was wearing.

Next. To. Fucking. Nothing. Except for boxers and socks.

So what? Did he think he could just crash at mine? Did he think for one pathetic, measly second I would let him–

I stomped my foot on the ground, garnering a groan from him.

"You fucked some bitch in my apartment!?"

He laughed, leaning against the island as I turned to make way for the bathroom. Considering I didn't see a woman lying in my bed, that's the next place she could be. Even as I made my way there, Ben was still under the impression that this was funny.

I flung open the door. Empty.

"So, a 'shag and pass', was it? You're disgusting. Get out, get out now." I gestured towards the door. I'd have to disinfect this whole place. Again.

But Ben's hysterics hadn't died and he was now reaching out to me, body shaking. His eyes were pressed together, forming wrinkles around them. I'd never seen him laugh so much in all the eight years we'd been together.

"Come on, Spitfire, I came to talk to you." I flinched away from him, giving him the deadliest stare I could muster. He sighed in response. "Don't you want to be mature adults about this? Isn't that what you said?"

To be honest, I was shocked that he remembered. One of our last conversations, when I'd finally been able to pluck up enough courage to face him again, breaking up wasn't the first thing to cross my mind. At first, I wanted the truth, I wanted to know how it happened and why he'd been so cold. His answers hadn't been satisfactory, as he'd neglected to detail anything and begun to pack up his things before we even clarified we were finished. Growing tired of his apathetic ways to the situation, I asked him to be an adult about it and settle it like the twenty-three year olds we were.

That was before the storm though. In our last days, as we argued more and more. He eventually told me I drove him to it and I was a piece of shit for doing so. In the end, all our neighbors had threatened to call the police because of the disturbance. I'd snatched his bags and threw them to the sidewalk, claiming that if he ever came near me again I'd kill him.

So yeah, everyone knew Ben and I hated being in the same room as each other. Someone always ended up hurt. That someone being me, of course.

And here we were again, a simple two paces separating us.

"Is that why you're lingering? To patch things up?" I made a sound close to disgust as I folded my arms. Mainly to ensure I didn't slap him.

Believe me, I wanted to. I just knew better.

"Yeah, actually."

My eyes widened. I was pretty sure I looked like one of those googly-eye things.

"What?"

"I'd been looking for an excuse to see you for ages. So, when I finally got the call from Doctor House, I jumped at it. I knew you wouldn't react to me well, which is why I got the roses, since I know you love flowers." He scratched the back of his neck, disconnecting his eyes from mine.

My breathing didn't calm, instead it only picked up pace. I hadn't seen him in more than two years, I'd been getting along just fine without him. He had to be playing me right now.

"It's not that simple Ben! You can't just come waltzing back into my life, using flowers and food as apologies for–”

"Whoa. I'm going to stop you right there, babe." He pushed himself away from the counter and held his hands up to express his point, coy smile edging across his lips again. "I never said anything about an apology, I said it was a gateway. I wanted to come see you and all, but not say sorry."

Fuck sake, seemed like he still couldn't take responsibility for his actions. God knows what I ever saw in him. Even for a fifteen year old I should've seen his true colors off the bat.

"Then for what?"

He presented me with that million dollar smile, the kind that made every girl throw their panties at him (literally, apparently). He'd grinned a few too many times since he'd returned, but they were nothing like this. This was genuine. Ones like these I'd stopped getting a long time ago, even before the break-up.

"I want to try again. Start afresh, get to know you as you are now, put all of it behind us and hit restart."

The wind was knocked out of me for a second.

Then, suddenly, I was experiencing a sensation I hadn't felt since the bar with August and Angel.

I was laughing. Hard.

Although, going by my ex's glare, it was not the response he'd been hoping for.

"I thought you were done with joking around and actually wanted to be civil for a minute there. However, it was a good one at least." I pointed a finger at him as I began to back off. "Well done."

He rolled his eyes for the second time today. Ben's fuse definitely looked a lot shorter than it had been. I wonder why he was so strung up by my obvious reaction? Even if I didn't hate his guts, it would be the same.

"I'm being serious Shira." Voice hard, gaze unwavering, I almost crumpled from the intensity.

I swallowed, loud.

"No. I've moved on."

"To what? The first guy you open your legs for?"

I repressed growling. Sure, in a way, he was right. For years I'd been filling the void he'd created with meaningless sex. There was no shame in a casual hook-up. There was, however, in doing it only because you believed you'd never be worthy enough of anyone ever again.

We had been a couple for nearly a whole decade, and he'd tossed it away like it was garbage. I mean, what else was I supposed to do? I certainly couldn't enter anything after what happened with us.

"Look, I may not be sodding perfect, but I'm not a liar."

I guess he got me stumped there. Ben had appreciated how vocal I was about telling the truth and offered me it when possible. He'd attempt to lie, but ultimately fail.

Keeping things from me though? He didn't consider that lying, since I had no clue.

"I've had years to think it through and I'm not going down without a bloody fight." He took a step towards me, an inch from the streaking sunlight.

I saw it then, the change in him I hadn't been looking for. It wasn't in his body, or his face, or even his attitude. They'd remained untouched.

No, it was as I echoed his movements and retreated, back into the shadows of a world that wasn't my own, that I caught a glimpse of who he had become.

Powerful.

My breathing hitched, as my heartbeat spun into overdrive. They knew better than I did.

"I'm still in love with you, Shira Walker, and I'm never going to stop."