Prescription for Miss Walker

Once again, not even two hours later, my phone began to hum again. Quenching my rage, I gripped it with clammy hands and almost sighed in relief when I saw an actual name pop up on the screen.

Knowing I had to face the music someday, I answered on the fifth or sixth ring.

I didn't even get a 'hello' out before shots were fired my way, none of them I actually had chance of dodging.

"You've been ignoring me all day, Shira Walker! We're supposed to be getting our friendship back on track, but that's impossible if you don't pick up the phone. Jesus, I've been so worried about you. I didn't know if you were drunk out of your face, or lying in a hospital bed, or dead in a ditch somewhere." Madison ranted on, voice raising a few octaves with each sentence.

I rolled my eyes, turning off my television and leaning back. Madison could be particularly chatty, so I was preparing myself, just in case.

"Oh, and not to forget but," She drew in a long breath. Here we go. "When in the hell of mother's golden shit turds did Ben get back?"

So, I filled in her on all the details. She listened intently, inputing every now and then, especially when I spoke about how it had went down in the hospital. She gave props to Ash for not jumping in and making it any worse, yet she never seemed to notice how quiet I became once he was mentioned.

In a way, I felt sort guilty for not accepting his lunch offer. It was just a friendly one, after all.

But, was that my problem?

Nobody looked forward to getting their heart broken, and I was sure I felt that with Ben, but not once in our entire relationship did I ever smile at the thought of his kiss. My woes and worries around him hadn't dissipated, but magnified. I didn't feel like I could be saying the wrong thing all the time, picking at the pieces and hoping things never died.

With Ben, words came as easy to me as breathing. I never second-guessed myself, or him. I hadn't felt like things could shatter at any moment.

However, Ash...

Clenching my jaw and holding the phone closer to my ear, I made acknowledgement noises even though I really didn't want to talk anymore.

"So, what's he like now? I mean, we spoke when I saw him at the bistro but I was too shocked to intake any information, except he said he'd seen you."

My throat was contracting itself. The idea of Ben being in the same area as me again, it never occurred. I'd always had the strange notion he'd leave things alone.

Yet, in his world, how could he? He was still in love with me. Things like that just don't go away.

"He's the same potty-mouthed, vulgar and rude asshole he was before." I shrugged. I couldn't help it when my eyes drifted towards the bin, where I'd dumped the rest of the breakfast he'd bought and ruined.

There was a pause on her end, a few rattling noises in the background. Were she and Danielle packing?

"How are you?" Her voice was soft, the kind that had been dipped in honey and wrapped in candy floss. Too sweet it ached.

"I'm fine."

"No Shira... how are you?"

Madison always had known when I was lying, even on the phone. It's part of the reason why I'd been so sure we were best friends. She knew so much about me -- but I knew nothing about her, at least not anymore.

I didn't want to believe I'd been that selfish with her. Sure, I knew I had been to an extent, but the only times I'd realized for her to be upset was when she made it clear. Crying, stuttering or otherwise. I'd never truly been the greatest friend I could.

I didn't want to tell her my problems. In fact, I was eager to listen to her for a change.

So, I changed the subject as subtly as possible and heard her out. Work, her parents, Danielle and everything else under the sun. I laughed with her when I needed to and, for once, I didn't want the conversation to end.

Once we hung up, it soon became clear to me that I was alone, again. The silence of the apartment was heavy and it weighed down on me like a stack of bricks.

I loved being alone, left to my own devices, not needing to feel like I had to play a part to get along with someone. The solitude that came with it helped ease me.

But, being alone and loneliness aren't the same thing.

Swallowing, I stared hard at the projectile light of my phone, hoping it would buzz again. It was a complete one-eighty from earlier.

I didn't want to be the one to call, to be rejected. I'd already been stomped on, there was no need for me to look for a burial.

Yet, my fingers stretched out and grabbed it from the table, quivering as they punched in the numbers. At some point, I'd memorized it, I couldn't remember when.

He picked up on the second ring. That was a good sign, right?

"Unless it's a medical emergency, why are you calling?" Ash sounded bored. I could make out the squeak of his chair, the shuffle of papers on his desk.

He was mad at me. I get it, it had only been a day, so I'd be an idiot to think it would've died down by now.

Yet, my stomach still sank.

"Miss Walker?" I could distinguished the strain of his chair. He was probably leaning forward too much. "Is everything okay?"

Do it, I ordered myself, before he thinks wrong of the situation.

"Do you..." I licked my lips, tasting the words before I dared blurt them out. "Do you still want to go for lunch?"

He sighed. Not a good sign at all.

"I asked if it was medical..."

"I know! I just-"

"Is. It. Medical?"

At first, I was bamboozled. Then, when I looked back at the number I had dialled, I knew.

Ash was speaking to me through his work phone, which we were sure was under surveillance. His professional tone seemed to make all the kinds of sense now.

I grinned to myself.

"Oh yes, doctor, it simply cannot wait."

"Alright then, come round at lunch time tomorrow and we'll discuss the issue further." It was evident in his voice, he was looking forward to it too.

"Thank you. Have a pleasant day, Doctor Cameron."

"As well you, Miss Walker. Goodbye for now." I was still smiling by the time the dial tone cried. I'd successfully bagged a lunch date with Ash, I was over the moon.

Now I had just to get through the rest of the day. This time, I believed it could be no bother.