Status: a work in progress.
Call Me Captain
Nick
NICK
Today has been an okay day so far. I've had a lot of members come up to me from the hockey team telling me that they really hope that I join. This is all since they heard that I can shoot since some of the team members
saw me this weekend on the pond. I'm really happy that they want me to play and that they are talking to me, I'm just not sure what to do in social situations, I've never really been put into a lot of them before, at least not at one time and without practicing with Miss Jenny first.
Which is why when she calls me down to her office for last bock, I'm somewhat relieved as I've had a pretty stressful day already.
"Hey Nick, how are things going?" she asks greeting me with a smile as I enter her room.
"I'm doing well thank you. How are you?" This was something that we have rehearsed.
"I'm doing well, thanks for asking."
"How come you called me in here? This isn't our normal day to meet."
"I know it's not, I just wanted to talk to you and check in to see how things are going."
"I just told you things are going well."I said with my hands fidgeting a little.
"Ah yes, you did just tell me that. Let me rephrase that, is there anything new going on with you?"
"Well, sort of."
"Yeah? Like what?"
"You know how I skate all of the time behind my mom's house?"
"Yes I remember you talking about that."
"Well on Saturday I was doing my hockey drills and shooting the pucks real hard becuase I was frustrated with my mom and we talked about how this was something that I could do to help myself feel calm.
So I was shooting and my brother and a couple of his teammates were walking by and saw me and they all said that I would make a good addition to the team."
"Oh wow. How did that make you feel? That must have been a pretty god feeling to get that sort of praise, I know hockey is really important to you."
"It made me feel good, especially to hear it from Justin, but today it's been stressing me out."
"Why is that?"
"Well, a lot of the hockey players have been coming up to me today and have been praising me and telling me I need to join the team."
"Okay. Well that sounds pretty positive right? It sounds like people are being kind to you, which is a good thing."
"Yes, but it's just overwhelming to me."
"When do you feel overwhelmed?"
"I feel overwhelmed when someone I don't know very well comes up to me and starts talking to me. I don't know what to say back to them."
"Okay,I can understand how that can be overwhelming. Do they say things other than you have a good shot?"
"Sometimes, but mostly just that they heard I can shoot and I need to join the team."
"In that scenario it's appropriate to just say thank you."
"I did, but then they ask me when I'm joining and I can't answer that question."
"How come you can't answer that question?"
"Because I don't know if I'm going to be allowed to play or not. Mom won't let me play she says no one wants a kid with disorders on their team.”
“I see. How does that make you feel?”
“Angry and a little bit confused. If no one wants a person with disabilities on their team, then why is everyone coming up to me and asking me to join?”
“Why do you think they are?”
“Because they heard I’m good?”
“Perhaps. Or maybe it could be something else?”
“Like they need another player because someone got hurt so I’m what they call a token.”
“A what?” Jenny asked looking confused.
“A token, someone that is used in order to make a team look good but isn’t actually utilized.”
“Why would you think that you are a token?”
“Because I can shoot and I have disabilities.”
“I don’t think that’s what they’re meaning when they ask you when you’re joining the team/”
“You don’t?”
“No. I think they are genuinely impressed by how you play and they wish they had known sooner/ In some cases I think some of them may feel bad they didn’t notice sooner.”
“You really think so?”
“I do.”
“Okay. Well, either way I'm going to talk to dad this weekend."
"I see, and what do you think dad is going to say?"
"I hope that he says yes."
"So you want to play on the hockey team?"
"Yes, it's been my dream for forever. I already know the statistics for the entire team and I know exactly what needs to improve and I think that I can help them."
"I 100% think that you would be an asset to the team, but I want you to think about the other situations too."
"What other situations?"
"Well, when you're a part of a team, you are going to have teammates and you're going to be in the locker room and have to show appropriate language in there."
"I've been getting a lot better about my locker room language."
"I know you have, but on top of that you're going to be playing other kids in games that you've never met. You may have to talk to the referees, there's going to be a lot of social interaction, kind of like today."
"I never thought of that..."
"I'm not trying to discourage you from joining, I just want you to really think this through."
"I know, you've made a lot of good points and I never thought of that perspective. Thank you."
"You're welcome. I want you to think about those things and when we meet tomorrow at lunch we can talk more about this, how does that sound?"
"That sounds good."
"Alright, is there anything else going on that you would like to talk about today?"
“My mom kicked me out yesterday.”
“Your mom kicked you out?”
“Well, she said that she didn’t want me living with her anymore.”
“How about you start from the beginning?”
“Well I was sitting in the kitchen, eating my Frosted Flakes at exactly 7:00 and she told me to try something new. I told her that I liked my breakfast and didn’t see why I needed to change anything. She told me that most kids my age like sleeping in and don’t like having a routine and that I need to try harder to be like them. And when I told her that dad didn’t have a problem with me having a routine she got angry and told me to live with him then.”
“I see, and how did that make you feel?”
“Angry. That’s why I went to the pond to blow off steam.”
“The pond has been a good outlet for you.”
I nodded me head in agreement.
“I think that your mom sometimes struggles with the right words to say. I think that she feels bad that she doesn’t have the same type of relationship with you that you have with your dad and takes her frustration out by saying things she doesn’t say. I don’t believe that she really wants you to move out.”
“I wouldn’t mind it though. I get along with my dad and he understands me.”
“I know, but remember we have talked about this before? If you move with your dad you would be home alone a lot and have a lot more responsibility that you didn’t feel you were ready for. And, you would have to change schools and start all over.”
Just the thought of having to start over in a new school was enough for me to put the idea of moving in with dad back on the back burner. “Oh yeah, never mind I forgot all that.”
“That’s alright. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?”
"No, I think I'm all set."
"Alright Nick, I'll see you tomorrow at lunch."
"See you tomorrow."
As I made my way out of Miss Jenny’s office, I felt more confused than ever. There were so many other aspects that I hadn’t thought about. If I was already feeling stressed out with situations with my teammates, what would happen with others? How could I possibly know all of the right things to say to all of these different people? Not only that, but what would all of these people say if they knew that I couldn’t skate and shoot at the same time?
Today has been an okay day so far. I've had a lot of members come up to me from the hockey team telling me that they really hope that I join. This is all since they heard that I can shoot since some of the team members
saw me this weekend on the pond. I'm really happy that they want me to play and that they are talking to me, I'm just not sure what to do in social situations, I've never really been put into a lot of them before, at least not at one time and without practicing with Miss Jenny first.
Which is why when she calls me down to her office for last bock, I'm somewhat relieved as I've had a pretty stressful day already.
"Hey Nick, how are things going?" she asks greeting me with a smile as I enter her room.
"I'm doing well thank you. How are you?" This was something that we have rehearsed.
"I'm doing well, thanks for asking."
"How come you called me in here? This isn't our normal day to meet."
"I know it's not, I just wanted to talk to you and check in to see how things are going."
"I just told you things are going well."I said with my hands fidgeting a little.
"Ah yes, you did just tell me that. Let me rephrase that, is there anything new going on with you?"
"Well, sort of."
"Yeah? Like what?"
"You know how I skate all of the time behind my mom's house?"
"Yes I remember you talking about that."
"Well on Saturday I was doing my hockey drills and shooting the pucks real hard becuase I was frustrated with my mom and we talked about how this was something that I could do to help myself feel calm.
So I was shooting and my brother and a couple of his teammates were walking by and saw me and they all said that I would make a good addition to the team."
"Oh wow. How did that make you feel? That must have been a pretty god feeling to get that sort of praise, I know hockey is really important to you."
"It made me feel good, especially to hear it from Justin, but today it's been stressing me out."
"Why is that?"
"Well, a lot of the hockey players have been coming up to me today and have been praising me and telling me I need to join the team."
"Okay. Well that sounds pretty positive right? It sounds like people are being kind to you, which is a good thing."
"Yes, but it's just overwhelming to me."
"When do you feel overwhelmed?"
"I feel overwhelmed when someone I don't know very well comes up to me and starts talking to me. I don't know what to say back to them."
"Okay,I can understand how that can be overwhelming. Do they say things other than you have a good shot?"
"Sometimes, but mostly just that they heard I can shoot and I need to join the team."
"In that scenario it's appropriate to just say thank you."
"I did, but then they ask me when I'm joining and I can't answer that question."
"How come you can't answer that question?"
"Because I don't know if I'm going to be allowed to play or not. Mom won't let me play she says no one wants a kid with disorders on their team.”
“I see. How does that make you feel?”
“Angry and a little bit confused. If no one wants a person with disabilities on their team, then why is everyone coming up to me and asking me to join?”
“Why do you think they are?”
“Because they heard I’m good?”
“Perhaps. Or maybe it could be something else?”
“Like they need another player because someone got hurt so I’m what they call a token.”
“A what?” Jenny asked looking confused.
“A token, someone that is used in order to make a team look good but isn’t actually utilized.”
“Why would you think that you are a token?”
“Because I can shoot and I have disabilities.”
“I don’t think that’s what they’re meaning when they ask you when you’re joining the team/”
“You don’t?”
“No. I think they are genuinely impressed by how you play and they wish they had known sooner/ In some cases I think some of them may feel bad they didn’t notice sooner.”
“You really think so?”
“I do.”
“Okay. Well, either way I'm going to talk to dad this weekend."
"I see, and what do you think dad is going to say?"
"I hope that he says yes."
"So you want to play on the hockey team?"
"Yes, it's been my dream for forever. I already know the statistics for the entire team and I know exactly what needs to improve and I think that I can help them."
"I 100% think that you would be an asset to the team, but I want you to think about the other situations too."
"What other situations?"
"Well, when you're a part of a team, you are going to have teammates and you're going to be in the locker room and have to show appropriate language in there."
"I've been getting a lot better about my locker room language."
"I know you have, but on top of that you're going to be playing other kids in games that you've never met. You may have to talk to the referees, there's going to be a lot of social interaction, kind of like today."
"I never thought of that..."
"I'm not trying to discourage you from joining, I just want you to really think this through."
"I know, you've made a lot of good points and I never thought of that perspective. Thank you."
"You're welcome. I want you to think about those things and when we meet tomorrow at lunch we can talk more about this, how does that sound?"
"That sounds good."
"Alright, is there anything else going on that you would like to talk about today?"
“My mom kicked me out yesterday.”
“Your mom kicked you out?”
“Well, she said that she didn’t want me living with her anymore.”
“How about you start from the beginning?”
“Well I was sitting in the kitchen, eating my Frosted Flakes at exactly 7:00 and she told me to try something new. I told her that I liked my breakfast and didn’t see why I needed to change anything. She told me that most kids my age like sleeping in and don’t like having a routine and that I need to try harder to be like them. And when I told her that dad didn’t have a problem with me having a routine she got angry and told me to live with him then.”
“I see, and how did that make you feel?”
“Angry. That’s why I went to the pond to blow off steam.”
“The pond has been a good outlet for you.”
I nodded me head in agreement.
“I think that your mom sometimes struggles with the right words to say. I think that she feels bad that she doesn’t have the same type of relationship with you that you have with your dad and takes her frustration out by saying things she doesn’t say. I don’t believe that she really wants you to move out.”
“I wouldn’t mind it though. I get along with my dad and he understands me.”
“I know, but remember we have talked about this before? If you move with your dad you would be home alone a lot and have a lot more responsibility that you didn’t feel you were ready for. And, you would have to change schools and start all over.”
Just the thought of having to start over in a new school was enough for me to put the idea of moving in with dad back on the back burner. “Oh yeah, never mind I forgot all that.”
“That’s alright. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?”
"No, I think I'm all set."
"Alright Nick, I'll see you tomorrow at lunch."
"See you tomorrow."
As I made my way out of Miss Jenny’s office, I felt more confused than ever. There were so many other aspects that I hadn’t thought about. If I was already feeling stressed out with situations with my teammates, what would happen with others? How could I possibly know all of the right things to say to all of these different people? Not only that, but what would all of these people say if they knew that I couldn’t skate and shoot at the same time?