Defector

I slept with her.

A secret which stayed between me and her. It had to. Even I had trouble processing the fact.

Her skin was soft, silky, and glowed with the full moonlight seeping in through the window pane. She smelled sweet like vanilla and honey. She towered over me then leaned down kissing me tenderly working her way to my neck. She moved my hands from her breasts to her bare hips thrusting them forward. Her hair, normally secured tightly in a ponytail, now hung down tickling my chest as she sucked on my neck occasionally gnawing on my flesh as a tease.

How did we get here?

She kissed me after a disagreement we had over an assignment. It was sudden and quick as though she had done it to get me to stop talking which worked in her favour. We both stared at each other stunned unsure what to do next. This time I kissed her. It was longer and passionate making me feel more complete. When we separated, the world around us spun. Things were going to be different whether we liked it or not.

We didn't tell anyone. How could we?

I moaned into her shoulder before rolling her over onto her back. She yelped then giggled as I began to rock my hips against hers. Her neatly done nails dragging along my shoulder blades leaving bright red irritation marks on my skin which at the time were the only marks left on my skin. Before the scars, before the tattoos to cover the scars, before she was crazy.

It pains me to think about it because I liked her. I liked everything about her. She was intriguing, mysterious, and charming. What was there not to like? A question I'd ask myself when I'd debate about taking our relationship farther than what it was. It seemed wrong. She was my employer. But she kissed me and how I longed for her kiss, her touch, her everything. She had power over me and I allowed myself to be whisked away by this insanity. Her insanity.

I should've seen the warning signs. She made a comment to me in a moment of passion about us running the country together in place of my father. I laughed knowing my father would only give up his position over his dead body. We joked about it and it was forgotten until three days later.

We were huddled around the table when she passed us our assignment.

Assassinate Mayor Nolan Fierce.

Quela declined immediately where I was the last to say no. Her face lacked emotion, but her voice hinted she felt betrayed when she asked to speak to me alone. The others left leaving us in a silent room.

"What the hell, Cassie." A nickname she demanded me to call her.

"What? It was your idea." Her grin expressed she was feeling playful.

"He's my dad." I couldn't fathom why she was doing this.

"He doesn't love you." She tossed back at me.

"It doesn't matter. He's my dad." I enunciated slowly hoping it would sink in as to why I was declining the assignment.

She stalked toward me like a lioness hunting prey. She grabbed onto my hips pulling me into her, keeping her eyes locked on mine. She slipped her hand between my skin and the waistband of my boxers, inching her hand lower. I snatched her wrist as fast as a venus fly trap shoving her away from me.

"He doesn't love you," she repeated, "like I love you."

"I don't love you. Not like this." She was taken aback by my response. "You will not ask us to kill ANYONE ever again." I stormed out of the office not knowing the consequences of my actions that day.

None of us heard from her until a week later when she claimed she had a new assignment for us. The others didn't think anything of it, but something didn't feel right. We waited in that room for ten minutes until she appeared handing us an assignment. We peered down at our sheets then we exchanged glances with each other.

Assassinate Mayor Nolan Fierce.

The same words staring back at us just like the week prior. She smirked at me with eyes wide and wild. She was winning the game none of us knew the rules to.

"I'm not a murderer." Quela stood up ready to walk out. "I'm not doing this." Casandra laughed in our faces when we all agreed with Quela.

"Then you face the consequences."

The room was flooded with men we've never seen before who forced us out of the room and shuffled us to the basement where we stayed for 3 weeks. Punishment for not doing what she wanted. I couldn't look at her the same. The sweet, animated woman I yearned for every day was gone and in her place was a horrifying creature who I barely recognized.

I loved her, but now the thought of her sickens me. She enjoyed herself, hurting me physically the way I hurt her emotionally. I had no one to blame, but myself. She's the way she is because of me. So many people have been affected by her actions and the haunting memory she leaves behind. Hunter, Quela, Phoe --

I stare at her scribbling away at the crossword puzzle she started an hour ago. Phoe glances up to find me looking longingly at her. She smiles rolling her eyes at me.

"You're not helping." She teasingly sings.

"Give me a clue." I sigh. How could I tell her?

"An eight letter word for Deranged with an A as the second letter." She reads. I think it over before shrugging my shoulders.

"Casandra."