Falling Apart

J didn't come home until the next morning. Adelaide heard his car pull up, heard him come inside, but made no move to go to him. She stayed where she was in her bedroom and continued reading her book. She wasn't sure why, but she felt like it was important that he came to her. She was surprised when he actually did.

He knocked on her door a few minutes later, and when he poked his head inside, she could tell that he hadn't slept. His eyes were wide but also surrounded by deep dark circles and his makeup was smudged and smeared all over his face. His eyes were unreadable as he stared at her.

"Can we talk?" he asked, and she put her book down on the bedside table to focus on him.
She nodded slightly and he walked into the room, shutting the door behind him.

"I have to get out of this house. If your sister is going to make it her life's mission to come after me, I need to leave and I'd like you to come with me," he said, and for some reason his words surprised Adelaide. She wasn't sure what she'd thought he was going to say, but it wasn't that.

"You know she'll still find you," she said, and he nodded.

"I know. But if we leave at least it'll make it a little harder."

"Are you sure you want me to come with you?"

"Of course, Adelaide. Why wouldn't I?"

"I just... wasn't sure," she said, thinking back to the look in his eyes the day before and the way he'd brushed her off like she didn't matter at all.

"You're upset about yesterday afternoon," he said. It was a statement, not a question. He finally seemed to be picking up on her current body language towards him. She hadn't moved from her spot in the fluffy chair beside her bed and her legs were curled into her chest. It was as if she was making herself as small as possible so that she didn't have to get even an inch closer to him.

"I... I don't know what I am," she said, and it was the truth. She knew she couldn't exactly expect him to have fully functioning emotions like a regular person. She knew that sometimes she asked way too much of him. She knew he was trying so hard and all of it was just for her. She knew she should be thankful; she realized how hard it had been for him to not snap and murder her sister right there on the spot. But somehow, something deep inside her couldn't stop thinking about his hand raised at her as she tried to comfort him. She really just wished he'd actually let her in a little bit. She wasn't sure if he was even fully capable of that, and that's what scared her the most. She didn't really fully know what he was capable of at all, she realized as she stared at him as he tried to formulate his words carefully.

"I'm sorry, Adelaide. I'm trying, I really am. In fact, it's completely possible that I'm currently trying harder than I've ever tried. I've never cared about a single person as much as I care about you. I hope you know that. It's hard, though. It's just not as easy as just wanting things to happen a certain way and having them happen the way I envisioned. It's like a little voice inside my head that's always screaming at me to just go crazy; to kill everyone and do everything wrong and not care about a single thing aside from myself. It's the way things were for a long time before you... It's not easy to just rewire everything. That guy's always going to be in there, no matter how much I rather he wouldn't be. Yesterday, I was just too far into that place to even talk to you. I didn't want to hurt you, whether on purpose or accidentally, so I did the only thing that ensured that I wouldn't," J told her, his eyes staring straight into hers. He moved to the side of the bed right beside her and reached for her hand. She gave it to him hesitantly and he pulled it up to his lips and kissed it gently. "I'm trying, Addy," he whispered, kissing her hand again and again.

"I know. I know you're trying and I can't even tell you how much I appreciate it, J. I just... I just need you to let me in like that sometimes, you know? That's all I wanted. That's all I needed," she told him, moving to him and kissing him hard. "I love you," she told him, kissing all of the different angles of his face.

"I love you too, dollface," he said, kissing her back and holding her tightly to him. "Come away with me. Please," he whispered in her ear, making shivers go up and down her spine.

"Where will we go?" she asked, burying her face in his neck.

"I have a house way out of the city. No phone reception, no nothing. I'm sure she'll find us, but it'll take her a good while to do so," he told her and she nodded.

"Did you find anything in your research on how she even got mixed up with all of this?" she asked him, finally voicing the question that had been on her mind since the moment she'd first heard her sister's voice when she'd woken up in the facility.

"Nothing. I did more research all night last night and I did find out that they are a facility for people like you, people with abilities, although I wasn't able to find anything on what kind of work they actually do. I also found out that her partner on the deed for the building, that Parker Smith, seems to be famous on the internet or something for his ability. It seems he can read minds," J told her, his face still buried in her hair.

"I didn't even know there were other people out there like me," she said, pushing away just slightly so that she could look him in the eye.

"It's not entirely surprising in a city like this one," he said, his eyes shining as he looked at her.

"What, a city with heroes dressed like bats and insane clowns that kill people and run strip clubs?" she asked, smiling up at him through her lashes.

"Hey. The clown is an alright guy. Plus, they're not all strip clubs," he said, tackling her playfully backwards onto the bed as she giggled. He kissed her once more as she wrapped her arms around his neck.